Gleaming the Tube

You have The Walking Dead to thank for this

2011-11-29T04:29:00.003-06:00

Yes, the Walking Dead mid-season finale (Seasonette?) has driven to blog again. To be honest, there's a pantload of good TV happening right now, I'm just lazy and have been putting most of my TV thoughts on Facebook. However, since "spoiling plots" is the new "punching babies", I figured I'd toss some thoughts in here. In fact, I'm rambling this long just to keep any spoilers from showing up in the little preview that pops up when I link this to my Facebook. This should be long enough...

Okay, so WTF SOPHIA!!!

Ahh, out of my system. Okay, so Season 2.1 of The Walking Dead is in the books, and oh how the opinions are flowing. First off, this season was so slow, the title should be changed to the Strolling Dead (zing!). Look, I like character development as much as the next guy, but that can be done through actions, not just through casual conversation in the middle of the apocolypse. it started with the 90 minute premiere, which could have been a nice tight hour long story, but instead got padded out with nowhere to go because it still had to have Carl getting shot as the cliifhanger. In fact, every episode has been starting to feel like a lot of padding, and then a big reveal at the end to make us forget about how often we checked our Twitter feeds during an extended monologue (well, with this cast, monodrawl). Someone tell Shane that he's not Gambit, please?

TWD has been doing some good things this season, I'm not here to crap all over what is a really good show...at times. Season one was an amazing piece of storytelling, and Season two has had plenty of moments. More importantly, it's success will let other comic stories have a chance to break into TV and get recognition for the merits of the stories being told by their creators. However, just because it's the trailblazer, doesn't mean it gets a free pass. If the audience goes away, then the genre is in trouble. I want this show to succeed very badly. I criticize because I love.

The real problem I've had with this season has been the pacing. The last seven episodes could have been done as a tight, riveting four episodes (five max) and really kept people on the edge of their seats. Now, I don't know if this is a casualty of the split season, although I can see it being a factor. I can see where filming half a season all in one location could be cost-effective. Just like the premiere looked to be "Let's start with the CDC blowing up, end with Carl getting shot, and then we have 80 more minutes to kill", this season looked like "Okay, we're going to have Sophia get lost, have her turn up as a zombie at the end, and now we've got 6.8 episodes worth of stuff to have happen". Now, I've read the comics, but it was a marathon weekend of reading while stuck in bed sick, so I'm not going to be able to quote chapter and verse. However, Sophia doesn't die/become a zombie in the comics. Which is awesome that they've decided to split the story off from the comics. They are two different mediums with different demands on a creative staff, so being able to follow the comics as a framework, but deviate when necessary, will work out great. Except for nerds. You know who you are...and Ogre is coming for you. That was a great "gotcha" moment in a show that lives and dies by them. It also set up a great character moment (but I'll get to that later). However, that mile marker was set waaaaaaay too far ahead in the episode list. There just wasn't enough meat in this story. It wasn't all bad though, and I'll go ahead and split those up now.

The good: Shane's slow burn into Dark Shane. I'm trying to think of a good parallel for Shane by this point in the story. Season one, he was this sad sack, pining for Lori (WHY DUDE? SERIOUSLY?) and trying to make things up to a gloriously unaware Rick. Season two, we get the slow descent into...well, not madness. Not evil. This is a new world (like Dale said...ugh, later for you Dale), and one of the themes in TWD is how do we maintain what makes us civilized in a world past civilization. Rule of law is pretty much over, except the bubble of it that exists in a radius from Rick's sheriff hat. Survival is a primal instinct, and although modern Man is able to hold that back in favor of manners and genteel behavior, that survival instinct is still bubbling away in the lizard portion of our brains, and Shane's is closer to the surface than anyone else (except Daryl...more on him soon). Shane is the one with the clearest picture of what Zombie Earth is all about, and that's staying alive. As long as Walkers are still around, normal rules don't apply. We see that when Shane and Otis make a medical supply run to help save Carl. In a buddy cop movie, Shane and Otis cover each other, lay their lives on the line for each other, and both manage to make it back to the farm. In Shane's world, Otis is a means to an end, the end of Shane's (and Carl's) survival. Granted, there's also a little Biblical vengeance, as Shane balances the books for Otis' shooting of Carl. But I believe that even had Otis not shot Carl, Shane would still have sacrificed Otis in a heartbeat in order to save his own life. It's no accident that Rick and Shane are cops; the police maintain order in society, and now society has become chaos. Rick is holding onto his old life, and Shane is embracing the chaos (which would be a badass name for a band).

Daryl: Congratulations TWD, you found yourself a Sawyer. Man, remember when Daryl was a racist, and his brother was also a racist, and Rick left his brother to die? Remember that? Cause apparently Daryl doesn't. Don't get me wrong, current Daryl is just an absolute joy to have on my tv screen. But Season 1 Daryl is an intriguing character who has so many conflicts and can't be trusted. Season 1 Daryl is holding on to old prejudices for no good reason other than cause he was raised that way (and because Merle haaaaaaaaaates the blacks). Season 2 Daryl saved T-Dogg without even thinking about how racist he used to be in Season 1. Season 2 Daryl gives T-Dogg his brother's (you know, the racist) stash of antibiotics without even a token mention of "Boy, my brother, you know, the racist, sure would be upset at me giving his drugs to a black guy, because of how racist he was". I'm not saying that I miss how many racists used to be on tv, but there are some good stories you can tell about how old prejudices (like old morals, etc) just kind of disappear in the new Zombie world. Daryl is still a great character, and I'm digging the hell out of just about any scene he's in (maybe the exception of some of the bits where he hallucinates Merle), I just wish they'd stuck to their guns a little in keeping his character consistent and letting him naturally evolve as a person, rather than just hope that a year long hiatus would make us all forget a few of his less marketable character traits.

Glenn and Maggie: Loves me some Glenn. Loves me some Maggie. Their scenes together have been great, and didn't feel forced at all. The two trips to the pharmacy (first to schtupp, second to almost have Maggie killed by a Walker) were fun scenes on their own that also advanced a lot of story. Maggie giving Glenn some backbone (Walker-bait is such a great nickname), and Glenn inadvertently showing Maggie that Walkers are dangerous. Glenn finding the barn. The look that Maggie gives Glenn during the final scene at the barn. Great moments, and I look forward to many more seasons of Glenn and Maggie.

The bad: Dale. Sigh. I love Dale and I want to continue loving Dale. And honestly, Dale's been great most of the season. But the last two episodes...man, what happened? There's something called "the dumb ball", where a tv character will have to do or say something incredibly dumb and/or out of character simply to advance that week's plot. It's not great writing, and I'm sure it may be unavoidable in some cases. But man, Dale goes from a fairly even keeled guy, to making two incredibly bonehead moves. I'll forgive his first confrontation with Shane. He did witness Shane pointing a gun at Rick's head all the way back in Season 1. And then there was Otis, although I'm hard pressed to find anything Shane said or did to make anyone actually suspicious of him and his version of how events transpired that night. Now, Dale could be jealous of the attention Andrea has been giving to Shane, but that's not really been established (and if it has, I missed it), that's a dead end. Finally, there seems to be no rational reason for why Dale would take the guns and hide them in the swamp. That was just ridiculous without a rationale from the character. It just looked like an excuse to get Shane and Dale far enough away from everyone else and show that...what, that Dale won't kill Shane? That Shane is crazy? That Dale now knows Shane is crazy? Will Dale tell Rick? Sighhhhh. Dale, you used to be cool. Sadly, if we ever do get an explanation, it'll probably be in the longest, most expositionallyist way possible.

Lori: Man, I am just getting tired of Lori. Just in general, really. Here's Lori this season: "I am sad that Carl is spending four episodes deciding whether to die or not. Now I am sad because I have baby up in me". And there you go. Give her something to do, and to do without the histronics. The show grinds to a halt when Lori gives an impassioned speech or a tearful speech, or a bitchy speech. Do better.

Sophia: Specifically, the MacGuffin that weighed down this season and kept it from really feeling like Season 1 did. There's no urgency. There's no emotional attachment for the audience. This isn't someone we like, this is just an artificial reason to stop down the travel so we can spend all Seasonette in one location. We got terrible scenes with Carol, we got several variations on a very tired "she's probably dead, we should move on/no she's alive, we have to find her" argument over and over again, and we got anchored to Herschel's farm for a BAD REASON. Would it have been so hard for them to build a season on "This farm sure looks like a great place to stay and be safe"? Shane can still want to move on by himself, Daryl can still find a reason to go all Bear Grylls in the woods, and Rick can still have long fruitless conversations with Herschel about sticking around and surviving. Seven episodes of "Hey, you find Sophia yet?" just exhausted the audience's store of caring for a minor character who many couldn't even pick out of a lineup. It was a tortured setup that existed only for one (admittedly kickass) scene at the end, which then became somewhat anticlimactic because it had been so long since we'd seen her. Hell, not like I could remember what she was wearing or anything, and all people look alike once they're undead. If it wasn't for the terrible haircut (must be genetic), I wouldn't have known it was her...well, except for how obvious it was that they'd have to address Sophia before the end of the finale. It was a shaggy dog joke, not gripping suspense.

I will say, though, that the final scene was kickass, mostly in the sense of "finally, shit's going to happen". Shane finally goes all Wolverine, Herschel all sad, Rick unable to do anything because he's holding a Walker, Andrea stepping right next to Shane to start shooting, Carl's reaction, all of it really worked out as a finale. And Rick stepping up to do the dirty work with Sophia was a great moment; the reinforcement that no matter how primal Shane has become, Rick is still the Man In Charge. Although, nitpicking, I would have had Carl make the kill shot. But there's still time for Carl...oh yes.

So now we've got our winter break, and some questions to answer when next we meet in February. What will Herschel's reaction be? Will Dale spill the beans about Shane? Does T-Dogg get paid the same as the rest of the cast? And where the hell is Michonne already?

Summer sucks

2010-09-01T06:33:00.003-05:00

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the summer series, and between those and Season two of Dexter, I've been enjoying my summer watching. I haven't even thought about what the new fall season will bring yet. On the other hand, the air conditioning sucks at work, and the last thing I want to do is slave over a hot keyboard while in a muggy office. So, still trying to update, but my brain is...soggy?

Leverage is a good place to start this week, as it was a little of a letdown after last week's amazing amazing episode, but it still holds its own overall. Also, we get back into the Damien Moreau plot, as Team Leverage goes after one of his subordinates, a gentleman who smuggles antiquities as a money laundering/fundraising scheme; the money then going to fund drugs and wars and such. In the process of trying to nail him at the airport, a little girl gets caught as an art mule, and the team has to shift gears and try to nail him in England. Hey, that's where Sophie's from!

So the gang sets up at an art auction and Nate goes in to try to make contact with the mark while Sophie uses her grifter powers to try and find the guy's heart's desire. Nate takes half a beating before Sophie connects the dots and realizes that the guy has a royalty fetish. Sophie comes in as a Duchess and sets the hook on the new con, tempting him with a lost barony in exchange for his smuggling prowess.

I can't decide what my favorite part of the episode is: It's a three way race between Hardison fabricating a convincing fake diary out of authentic ingredients, Sophie's acting throughout the episode, or Parker actually using the "Does this rag smell like chloroform?" gag. Next week is the "summer finale", as the gang will be back around Christmas to wrap up this storyline (probably).

Eureka has embraced the changes stemming from the time travel stuff, so it's almost jarring to see that the mysterious group from last week has rebuilt the bridge device. Looks like Dr. Grant is supposed to go back and use his future knowledge to make the world a better place...but that doesn't sound sinister enough, so I'm sure something else is in the works. The hallucinations that the time travel pals were seeing made for an interesting episode, especially since we got the return of Tess AND Trevor Blake. Man, I missed him more than I thought, and he made the most of it in the time he had back. Poor poor Carter. Fargo being tormented by a ten-year girl was good times all the way through. And now, we see what the mystery group wants...and when do we get Felicia Day?

Warehouse 13 dialed up the darkness this week, as Artie's NSA past catches up with him. Torquemada's chain is a bitch of an artifact too, seriously. The board from the Titanic wasn't much gentler either, though. In the end, though, we get H.G. Wells reinstated as a Warehouse agent, which Artie is none too pleased about. I'm not quite sure where this is going, but I'm sure Wells has an ulterior motive. There's stil the other objects she stole from the Escher vault, plus she seems just a little too helpful.

Oh, and Claudia got some resolution in her storyline. Turns out, Todd isn't a bad guy, just in the witness protection program, and so not allowed to fall in love. Oh, teen love! Todd and Claudia get to do some major league snogging before he has to get relocated, but don't be surprised to see that storyline pop up again before the end of the season. Until then, we have Artie and H.G. to have fun with.

Hmm, that's actually it. Psych is coming up, and an Amanda-less Top Chef. Masterchef hasn't been terrible, but it's so intolerably slow, I can't imagine watching it live, without the opportunity to skip past the boring or redundant bits. Dexter remains excellent though, especially with Jaime Murray (aka, H.G. Wells, aka that hot girl from Hustle). I'll have to start looking at the fall schedule soon too.

Oh, Burn Notice...

2010-08-27T06:54:00.002-05:00

Man, this season has been up and down for Burn Notice. I've really been enoying the season-long arc, and Jesse has been a good addition to the team. However, tonight's season(ish) finale exposed one of the glaring flaws that this show has acquired: The Client of the Week isn't always interesting. Sometimes you just have to abandon the formula and give us a solid hour of what we want. You've got Jesse on the loose with a gun and a grudge, Robert Patrick being awesome, and Vaughn being creepy, and yet they still bog down the hour with the kidnapping nonsense. Was it an okay plot? Sure. Save it for another time though. All it did was give Michael access to a submersible, and that wasn't even that imperative to the ending. Don't get me wrong, submarines are still kick ass, but still. Now the cliffhanger, that was some awesome stuff. Mystery boots picking up the briefcase, Michael bleeding out on the pavement, shot by Jesse (ostensibly to help him, but yeah), Vaughn's guys shooting it out with Robert Patrick's henchmen...made for a great wrap-up. Anyway, I can't see the formula going away anytime soon, but Burn Notice will be back in November, and someone has a whole mess of names of the people who burned Michael. What are they going to do with six episodes? We'll have to wait and see. Emphasis on "wait".

New Leverage coming up this weekend, and Eureka tonight. Felicia Day is guesting on Eureka coming up soon, maybe this weekend, maybe in September. Either way, looking forward to it.

And I'm back

2010-08-26T04:15:00.002-05:00

Maybe I'm OCD and I just liked the idea of having an even 100 posts...or I got busy and lazy when going back to nights. Either way, I'm back, and hopefully will be back to normal output now.

As it is, I've finally gotten around to watching Dexter, hooray for me! I'm halfway through season 1, and it is amazing so far. I know I'm behind the curve, but I'm going to shoot for a season summary, as far as my opinions go.

Meanwhile, this has been a great week for TV. Leverage on Sunday was an epic episode with lofty aspiration that it completely achieved. The Rashomon Job was a clever story about how the team all crossed paths while trying to steal the same item...well, all except Nate, who was trying to keep it right where it was. Everybody's recollection of the events built so well on each others, using similar looking actors to fill in for each of the Leverage crew for each telling of the story. The completely different takes on Sophie's accent had me rolling with laughter, and John Billingsley was a great guest star as the museum security director who wasn't as ruthless as the rest of the team remembered. It's been a great season for the show, and the metaplot episodes are coming up in the next few weeks.

Top Chef was a little bit of a downer tonight, as Amanda's turn finally came up. Alex leaving last week was pretty much ordained, but I really thought that Amanda might have been able to dodge the bullet tonight. This is one of the more frustrating things about Top Chef judging: sometimes it seems like the worst dish of the night goes home, and sometimes it seems like more of a "worst chef overall" goes home. Kenny left for "worst dish", but Amanda left as "worst chef". Granted, her tartare wasn't perfect, but at least two of the other three bottom dishes sounded worse. On the other hand, the other chefs are more experienced and have better finishes, so she was the safe choice to go. Oh Amanda, I'll miss you and your massive levels of cuteness.

Psych was just okay this week, but Chi McBride is awesomesauce, so it gets a good grade. Last week's episode was better, with Shawn and Gus competing with an older version of themselves to solve the murder of the former chief of police. This is still a show that manages to make product placement funny, too.

Warehouse 13 has also been improving by leaps and bounds, putting up three really good episodes in a row. Pete had a bit of a freakout, but that led to Claudia getting to hit the field as an apprentice agent with Myka to explore a wrestling team that bursts into flame. However, last week's episode was the pinnacle of the series so far. Pete and Myka switch bodies thanks to a griffin statue, and while the usual hijinks occur (involving Pete's cute girlfriend, and guest star Cody Rhodes), the incredible part was how the two actors managed to take on their counterparts speech patterns and mannerisms so well. Also, Artie and Claudia hit the road to track down another artifact, and Claudia has to deal with a lovestruck Artie (great acting by Saul Rubinek on that one too), and Artie eventually gets even with Claudia for the "Knock Knock" handcuff incident from way back in last season. It was telegraphed by the "previously on" at the beginning of the episode, but still a cute moment. This show has really come into its own, and if you're not watching, you're missing out.

More to come soon, including a few episodes of Burn Notice to catch up on, and some other stuff. Good to be back.

One Hundred!!! Round Numbers Are Cool!!!

2010-08-06T10:54:00.003-05:00

The milestone is here, one hundred posts since starting this blog almost one year ago. A project that started out as a way to track Heroes as it slowly sank into the quagmire of high expectations and an inability to maintain a coherent storyline has evolved into...well, I don't quite know, actually. But I've watched a lot of shows, enjoyed many of them, and that's good enough for me. As promised, this will finally be my Doctor Who post, which I've been putting off for a while.

Doctor Who: So Matt Smith has one season under his belt, and this is actually the first full season of Doctor Who that I've watched. I've seen some of the David Tennant episodes, but those were spotty at best, mostly the product of the occasional BBC America mini-marathon of episodes. I enjoy the concept of Doctor Who though: Well-written science fiction stories, aliens, time travel, a charismatic lead, an attractive Companion, and through it all an example of the potential of humanity.

Matt Smith's doctor is...he's like a cross between a Muppet and a samurai. From the first episode, he begins it dipping fish fingers in custard and ends it giving a heated speech to an alien race, warning them what will happen if they tangle with him. That's what I loved about an episode like "The Lodger"; it was some brilliant comedy, but in the end, it was his belief in humanity that helped save the day. Even in an episode like "Cold Blood", where the Lizardperson was killed, he still trusts in us to do the right thing.

In the case of the finale, a chain of events from Van Gogh, to Churchill, all the forward to Liz 10 and River Song leads us to...an exploding TARDIS. And Stonehenge. And...the Pandorica. What is it? Who is inside? Why is Rory a Roman centurion? Oh yes, and all of the Doctor's enemies have shown up, all at once. As the Pandorica continues to open, Amy has to fight off a Cyberman, Rory wonders why she doesn't remember him, River recruits a Roman legion, and The Doctor employs some stalling tactics to buy them some time. Seriously though, that whole scene was amazing, with The Doctor holding off the combined forces of countless alien aggressors with nothing but the memories of how often he's defeated them.

So Amy and Rory. Amy doesn't remember Rory, and Rory doesn't remember how he became a Roman soldier. Then the Romans start growing lasers out of their hands, because they are actually robots programmed to believe they're human. Rory fights it, but shoots Amy in the gut. Not the best reunion ever. River is in the TARDIS, unable to stabilize it, and is stuck in a time loop (for her own safety, of course). Downstairs, The Doctor is confronted with his enemies, and the Pandorica opens with no one inside. Yet. Because it's a prison meant for The Doctor. The Rogues Gallery believes that The Doctor will be the one responsible for destroying the universe, and that they are saving all of time and space by sealing him away. The Doctor pleads with them, telling them that he's the only one who can stop it all, but it's too late. What a downer.

But luckily, there's a happier Part 2, and even better, it involves Li'l Amy! A series of mysterious notes leads her to a museum where the Pandorica is on display, having been guarded over the years by a mysterious man in a centurion's uniform. Oh Rory, you sly devil, you. Amy touches the Pandorica, which opens to reveal...Amy? Buh? Must be time for a flashback. Or does the word "flashback" hold any meaning whatsoever in Doctor Who-ville? Time travel nosebleeds occur in my chair, as The Doctor uses a wrist thingy to time travel to Rory and tell him to put Amy in the Pandorica, which will force her to stay alive. Honestly, the time travel "timey wimey bits" gave me a huge headache, although they did lead to some good times. River Song being ruthless with an ancient Dalek, Rory as Amy's protector throughout history (good work, by the way), The Doctor popping back and forth as he pleased, and then the reveal that this was all taken from Amy's imagination. Apparently living next to a crack in reality will do things to a gal.

My favorite part of the episode was The Doctor going backwards in time, and his very quiet, very gentle scene with Young Amy as he tells her his story, and all the while, planting clues. Amy's wedding looked lovely, and she manages to remember The Doctor back into existence just in time for the dancing. Amy and Rory are wed, everything's back to normal, and we'll see you back here in time for the Christmas Special. Which is too far away. Dammit.

So that's the season. I still like Matt Smith's Doctor, although the character still fluctuates a little too wildly between floppity slapstick and deadly seriousness, plus they never really explained a lot of the aggression from the early episodes. Maybe that was just "new actor/new part" syndrome, or maybe it was meant to give Amy the opportunities to be the rational Girl Friday. I'm even looking forward to some more River Song, as well as next year's storyline. Overall, I really enjoyed this season, and some very good storytelling occured.

And that's it for post #100! Post #101 is coming soon, with a few new shows to catch up on. I never did finish FlashForward, or even start Bored To Death, but I'm not too concerned about those (and neither were viewers...ZING!!). My future output depends on my future work schedule, which I should know soon, so my posts will either get a lot more frequent, or a lot less frequent. Which will it be? Oooh, our first cliffhanger!!!

I got 99 posts, and a bitch ain't one...

2010-08-02T12:46:00.003-05:00

Almost at post #100, and the excitement is palpable! Also, Eureka heats up, Leverage hits the fast lane, and on Top Shot, you can cut the tension with a knife.

Top Shot switched things up a little...not in eliminations (although apparently, that's next week), but in the weapon. It was throwing knives today, and while JJ had a lot of problems in practice, he nailed it in the team challenge and Blue beat Red by a five second margin. Kelly got to sit out an elimination (plus he is the Silent Assassin when it comes to winning those), so it was Denny getting out-slingshot by Peter. In sadder news, Tara's dad was having complications from cancer, so she left the competition in order to be with him.

Two episodes left to go, and next week we'll be losing a goodly number of the remaining marksmen. I'd like to see Kelly advance to the finals, but we'll just have to see. Of the people remaining, he's got to have the most challenge experience, which gives him an edge.

Eureka went a little different direction, as Carter left town to go visit Zoey at Harvard, and still managed to get into a little Eureka-style trouble with an invisible cat. Pretty light for a B story, but it did get us a little...not so much closure, but at least we got some Zoey this year. Nice haircut, by the way.

With Carter out of town, it's up to Lupo to keep track of a rocket race, a joyriding Zane, and a buildup of self-propegating oxygen that is threatening to set the town on fire. Jamie Kennedy was oddly cast, but not necessarily bad. Lupo tries (and succeeds) to get through to the "good Zane" that is inside of alternate-Zane. In a surprising turn, Allison cheats to help Kevin win, which is what winds up helping cause the impending firestorm. Kevin has the answer though, and he, Allison, and Grant save the town. Interesting how two episodes have gone by with no mention of "can we fix the time business?", which makes me wonder if they're just saving that for later, or if they just really wanted a shakeup.

And finally, Leverage brought the goodness this week with their version of Gone in 60 Seconds (but, you know, good). Bill Engvall was a surprisingly effective bad guy, so between him and John Schneider, this has been a good season for guest villains. Unfortunately, this is another week where Parker is the one to make the con go all tits-up on the crew. Granted, it was explained in the story, and the flashback to pre-teen getaway driver Parker was great, but it just seems odd for that to happen twice in a row like that. Sophie's use of neural-linguistic programming as a car salesman was a great callback to earlier in the season, as was how the team got together to steal the auto race. Another thing that bothered me, though, was all the "we can outrun bullets" stuff that Eliot, Parker, and Hardison wound up having to do. Just a little unrealistic for this show...just didn't feel natural. Another week without The Italian or anything close to the meta plot, which makes me wonder if we're getting a big run of those episodes coming up soon.

Catching up on Burn Notice and Top Chef, but I'm thinking of making the 100th post my long-postponed Doctor Who post. We will all be surprised together!

Models, Militias, Trick Shots, and Wesley Crusher

2010-07-28T15:14:00.002-05:00

Big week of shows, and less time to do them in, so we're going quick and dirty for this one. Grab hold and follow along. Also, the Doctor Who post is coming, I promise. I even changed my Facebook picture to Matt Smith with his fishcustard to remind me.

Leverage: Bromance, baby! That's all you need to know about this week's episode, just a big old bromance trip to the woods with Eliot and Hardison. It starts out as a simple scam: impersonate an IRS officer, steal a credit card, run up the number, and profit. Then it turns into money laundering. Then it turns into freedom fighting. Eliot and Hardison go from "Let's do an easy con, then sneak away and go fishing (Eliot's idea, not Hardison's)" to "Let's get captured by a backwoods militia and have to escape through the woods". Nate steals them a train, Hardison hacks a forest (That joke was said by my friend Jon...dammit), Eliot is ready to go, but Hardison convinces him to go back because the militia has a fuel oil bomb prepared and ready to go off...somewhere. Good for Hardison. The rest of the con was standard, although Parker's lapse in letting the bad guys overhear her end of the con on her headset seemed a little sloppy for her. Worked out in the end though, and was a great episode.

Eureka: Updated the opening with a brief "here's why everything is different" montage/voiceover, which is a little annoying, but beneficial to the new viewer. Especially since Wil Wheaton is the special guest scientist, and his legions of fans follow him wherever he goes. GD Director Fargo is having to live up to the reputation that "this timeline Fargo" has created. Something something killer bees, something something science, and now everybody has a huge rage boner going on, and no one knows what's going on. Angry Lupo was some good times, as was Ragey Wil Wheaton. The last half of the episode was shot and lit like a zombie video game, which was an intersting choice for the show, but a little annoying to try and watch, especially online. Nice little MacGuffin with Henry and Grant working on the wormhole device, and Grant's speech about never having had an impact on the world (since he popped forward 50 years in time) was well written, and serves as a counter to his enthusiasm about being able to science it up in the future. I'm liking this storyline.

Warehouse 13: Myka is pretty. And not a bad looking octogenarian too. Lot of sillyness with the team investigating models who all of a sudden grow old and die, and Myka posing (see what I did there) as a model in order to get them backstage to investigate. Man Ray is a pretty obscure reference to hang an episode on, but good for them for not dumbing it down for the audience. Lot of red herrings, but some poignant moments in the back half, mainly Pete's pep talk to Myka and the scenes with Claudia and Artie while Myka was in the hospital. These are some pretty solid character moments, and it bodes well for the series if the writers are going to give us these kind of scenes, even amidst the scifi gadgetry.

Master Chef: Another brick in the Gordon Ramsey media empire, and I'm of two minds about it. This is pretyt much "Chef Idol", which isn't a bad idea, except I CAN'T TASTE THE FOOD!!! I can hear music, I can watch "talent", but I can't taste food. Frustrating. The idea is nice, take amateurs and find the best, but the previews of the team challenges and whatnot make it sound a little too Top Chefy. Top Chef works because it's professionals being pushed to the limit. Taking amateurs and putting them through gimmicky challenges is...well, gimmicky. It might work better as more of a competitive culinary academy if anything. Some of the people were interesting, and the judges are good, so I'll stick with it and see how it progresses. Honestly, I'd probably prefer to watch something like a 64 person single elimination cook-off, tournament style. Someone give me a development deal!

Top Shot: Trick shooting was cool, and Kelly made a hell of a run in the elimination challenge. Next week, it looks like anything goes. odd pacing if they're really kicking off that many people at a time, but maybe they ran out of challenges? Either way, I hope there's a second season of this show. It's a good concept, and next week is throwing knives!

Top Chef, Burn Notice, and Psych are coming up!

Oh hai, Psych!

2010-07-22T12:09:00.002-05:00

Big update today. Totally forgot to do last week's Psych, but now I have last night's to go along with it, as well as Burn Notice (finally) and Top Chef. Let's begin.

Burn Notice had a good episode this week, delving into the big plot for a good portion of the episode. They captured Kendra, but now have to break her, and that bitch crazy! Like, slam her own head into a table crazy. Rather than break out the blowtorches and pliers, they start by threatening her with rendition (sending her to another country to be tortured and likely killed), then realize that they can play Jesse as the hired help/low man on the chain and let her attempt to deal with him. They manage to get her accounts out of her, and while unable to use them to track the mystery man, they are able to trick her into thinking that they're empty (meaning, her employers screwed her), and she spills her intel as a way to get revenge on them. And the boys celebrate with a frosty generic beer. The client of the week is Buddy, a clothing counterfeiter (and Fiona's new best friend) who is a loose end for an art thief trying to swap and swipe Alexander the Great's sword. Mr. Slippery likes explosions (so whatever happens, Fiona has a new best friend), and doesn't mind a few bodies in the getaway. Mr. Slippery turns out to be Ms. Slippery, but all is well at the end, and Buddy may just be the new Barry as far as recurring characters go.

Psych came back strong and mixed some things up this season (much like Eureka did). First off, Juliet is still traumatized from being kidnapped and almost killed by Mr. Yin at the end of last season, so she's on desk duty at City Hall. Meanwhile, Shawn's dad took the job at the PD, acting as the overseer for the consultants...including them Psych boys. The first episode (Romeo and Juliet and Juliet) sees the Triads getting involved, but it all boils down to Romeo and Juliet (or West Side Story, if you prefer), as well as some sweet kung fu (or Wu Shu, if you prefer) action. Shawn has to run around on his own to solve a kidnapping, since Henry won't hire them officially for the case. More importantly, he manages to get Juliet out of hiding and back on the streets by the end. In episode two (Feet Don't Kill Me Now), we get a little bit of a wife swap, as Lassiter and Gus team up to track down leads on a deal girl with a purse full of unmarked fertility pills from a drug trial. Not to be outdone, Shawn grabs Juliet and they work the case from the "psychic" angle. The two teams keep bumping into each other, although the pairings work well at first. Sparks fly though, and the original teams get back together in time for the big reveal. Interesting twist on the format, and Dule Hill gets to show off his sweet tap moves at the end. Lassiter tapping to clear his mind and concentrate on the facts was a funny bit though, although doubtful it will carry over to future episodes. I'm also losing track of the number of specific references Shawn makes per episode, but today's ranged from the Double Down to Phineas and Ferb. Glad to have you back, Psych.

Finally, Top Chef mixed it up a little this week too, first in the Quickfire. It was an exotic ingredients challenge, where the chefs drew knives for the "drafting order"of the ingredients, then Padma pops in after ten minutes of cooking and makes them all switch ingredients with the chef to the left, leaving them to alter their gameplan on the fly. Then, in the elimination challenge, they cook cold dishes in two teams of six. Each group will taste the other group's food, then nominate one top and one bottom dish. Angelo was going total gamesmanship, and managed to get lucky with Kenny's not so good lamb dish (rather than Amanda's cartilege laden chicken). Tanisha's peppery scallops went up on the other side, and rather than losing his rival, Angelo loses his pal as Tanisha is sent packing. Nice to see them playing the game, but the challenges are getting weaker. Hopefully next week picks up.

Well played, Syfy

2010-07-21T11:39:00.003-05:00

Oh, how I hate the name change, but your shows are still good. Well, the ones I watch, anyway. And I've heard good things about something called a Megashark.

Anywho, Eureka continues to do some amazing stuff with this season. The Time Traveling 5 (well, 6, but we'll get to him) continue to discover all the ways that Eureka has changed since they came back from 1947. In an hour, we establish that they've all got something to gain by keeping things the way they are, but something to lose too. For Carter, he gains Tess (who agrees to move in with him) but loses Allison (who he had that decade-spamming smooch with at the end of the premiere). Henry loses his wife, but gains...well, I don't know that he gains anything by setting things right at this point. Unless he was really attached to that statue of Archimedes being granite. Allison gains her GD director gig back (and Carter), but loses Kevin, who is the biggest winner of this storyline since he actually gets both screentime and lines. Jo loses Zane but is now the head of GD security, which is a pretty sweet gig. Fargo lost his kinda-girlfriend, but is now the head of GD. And as head of GD, he whitelisted one of those crazy projects that always winds up trying to blow up the town.

Oh yeah, and Dr. Grant is in the future (well, present), too. And Sheriff Andy!!! Oh my, how I missed him. Both of them wind up helping Carter shut down the lightning experiment and once again save the day. The crazy red lightning fries the wormhole device, leaving our intrepid heroes currently stranded in what Carter bitterly calls "The New World". Fairly dark stuff from Eureka, and I like the tone. Playing up the character side of it, how they've left things behind, really helps the show stay grounded. Next week: Wil Wheaton!

Warehouse 13 was intriguing this week too, but more for the lack of traveling. Pete is still trying to get his stuff, but government cutbacks have left the town in a shambles, and the post office (with everyone's favorite surly postal worker) shut down. And the Farnsworths are on the fritz. And it turns out that everyone in town hates them because they think they work for the IRS and that the Warehouse is full of tax records. Cute. The Artifact OTW is another Farnsworth invention, which is projecting realistic versions of movies into town whenever our recently laid off postal worker pops a batch of popcorn. Not the best episode for that.

On the other hand, Mark Sheppard comes by to awesome things up a little, investigating Leena's crazy woozy spells that she's experiencing after having the Pearl of Wisdom in her ear for so long. Seems like there's some echoes of MacPherson still stuck in there, so don't count him out for a return later this season. Not the best episode, especially after the action of last week, but we got a lot of Claudia, so I'm not complaining.

Top Chef is imminent, and I will find last week's Burn Notice eventually. Damn you, Hulu!

Top Leverage 13!

2010-07-19T11:47:00.003-05:00

First off, we are counting down to the 100th post on here! It is a milestone, both in the roundness of the number (BASK IN THE ROUNDNESS!!!), but that I've managed to keep up with this for nearly a year. I'm considering this a win. Now, maybe leave a comment once in a while, so I know I'm doing something right? :) I'd like this to become more of a place for discussion in the coming year, whether it be on here, or even in the Facebook links that I leave on my page every time I update.

Also, this season of Doctor Who is almost done in America, so I'll be doing the Doctor Who omnibus post once that airs. I'm pretty sure most of you have seen it online by now (as have I), but as a rabid spoiler-hater, I'm going to be kind and wait one more week. One more damn week...

So, Warehouse 13 is getting back to business, but still dealing with the aftershocks of the season finale/season premiere. Artie is haunted (literally) by the ghost of MacPhereson, Claudia and Leena are as tense as two cats in a wet sack, and Myka...has her books? Yep, the "stuff delivery" is here, and Myka's room now feels like home, but Pete has naught to enjoy. Lucky for him, he gets to immerse himself into a superhero situation in Detroit, as it seems that the Iron Shadow (like Batman if he borrowed The Phantom's outfit) is busting up criminals and tossing them through walls. And who do we run into? Let the SQUEEEEEEing begin, because it's Jewel Staite and Sean Maher from Firefly (aka Kaylee and Simon, aka those two that didn't hook up until the end of Serenity). Kudos to the show for not making the comic store a hotbed of nerdery, and for making Pete the nerdiest of the comic nerds instead. The Iron Shadow can do all kinds of neat flashy light things, but it's going out of control. Claudia takes time out from being catty to Leena in order to bring some gadgets to Pete and Myka: some material that will absorb energy (and make you impotent, apparently), and some kickass steampunk gauntlets that will fire the energy back out. So, it's like a Bishop suit. Nice.

Myka gets all Catwoman'd out (so, it's a good thing that Pete didn't wear the suit after all, huh?), complete with some swank hooker boots (that probably belonged to Louisa May Alcott or Ella Fitzgerald or something), and takes on the Iron Browncoat. They thought it was Jack Kirby's belt (nice touch), but it turns out to be the underwear that all good superheroes wear on the outside of their tights (Charles Atlas' trunks, even nicer touch). Our happy couple gets to stay together, and Leena and Claudia look to have patched things up a little. Artie has a few decent scenes with the ghost of MacPherson, and scores a pocket watch from MacPherson's archived room (which may or may not factor into later episodes). And Pete, while he doesn't have his stuff yet, does get surprised with a big tv and an XBOX 360 (probably Monet's XBOX 360) to pass the time.

Leverage was twangtastic, with special guest villain John Schneider (aka Pa Kent...yeah, and one of the Dukes of Hazzard). The girl from Coyote Ugly got her songs stolen by the evil country singer (wasn't that a wrestling gimmick for a while too?), and the Leverage team is going to get them back. Turns out, Elliot is good at singing (and you can download his country stylings on iTunes RIGHT THIS MINUTE), and the rest of the team still manages to almost drop the ball. Parker gets to do her Bjork by way of Lady Gaga routine, and Hardison goes from country to rap in the course of an episode. This definitely was the episode with the highest level of hijinks to date, but it was a nice light fluffy hour with something for everybody. Nate surprises us all by taking out two thugs (with no explanation given), and Sophie can't understand Memphis and their fascination with ribs (for breakfast? really?). Not much else needs to be said, no meta-plot, just a well run hour of tv with Elliot refusing to quit when the job goes tits-up.

Top Chef was some good times, forcing the chefs to serve one family-style dinner while cooking outside with crap equipment. Some good dishes manage to make it out, and Kenny goes from the outhouse to the penthouse with a winning eggplant curry. I was worried about losing Amanda this week (since she's hot...and can cook too, fine), but Tim gets the boot for his crap dish instead. Line of the episode: Padma's "You've got crabs" when introducing the ingredient for the Quickfire.

Top Shot was good times too, as they did a Wild West shootout. Surpringly, the guy with the cowboy hat managed to both suck at shooting, and not get nominated to go to the elimination challenge. Kelly and Andre get that honor, and manage to nearly ruin a really good challenge (shooting poker cards to make a hand) by sucking at poker. They both make royal flushes in the first round, so they go to sudden death where Kelly blocks Andre's low straight flush attempt, and Andre has a massive brainfart and fails to make any kind of hand.

Eureka is coming up, as soon as Hulu releases it, and I am really looking forward to it. Psych is also back, and I will be getting to that ASAP as well. I love you, summer TV.

While I wait for Warehouse 13 to go up on Hulu...

2010-07-14T10:34:00.002-05:00

Yeah, totally got sucked into Jade Empire (yes, I am 6 years behind on video games) and forgot it was Tuesday. W13 isn't up yet, but I do have some catching up to do, so let's dive right in.

Eureka came back Friday, and it was a total game-changer. It's Founder's Day in town, Tess has moved to Australia and dumped Carter, Allison has her baby, Zane asked Lupo to marry him, and Allison's autistic son Kevin is messing around with some mystery device leftover from the Einstein days...and now Jack is in 1947.

Yep, no beating around the bush here. Jack is picked up by a strange guy in a nice car and brought back to Camp Eureka, the military base that eventually became the town of Eureka. Allison, Lupo, Henry, and Naked Fargo are also back in time, and all must get back...to the future! They've got an overzealous Major trying to capture them as enemy spies, but Dr. Grant (James Callis of BSG) eventually realizes that they're all from the future, and helps them get the machine working (mostly by attaching old school transistors to their tiny Eureka phones), and get them back home. Carter left his phone in his other jacket though, so he makes out with Allison for like five minutes, and her phone takes them both back home.

However, like all good time travel stories, not all is as it was when they left. Lupo discovers that Zane is still a criminal and not in love with her, Carter finds Tess back at home waiting for him, Kevin is no longer autistic, Henry is married to the hot lady who showed up for 30 seconds at the beginning of the episode, and Fargo is...well, the preview for next week has him as the director of GD. Or, and kindly Dr. Grant (who had Jack's jacket) is in 2010 now too. Space-time continuum is cracking, and the stakes are raised.

This season's arc (if it is for all season) is looking pretty promising, as the time-travelers all seem to have gained something through the changes, but will have to give all that up to get things back to normal. Also, Callis is good people, and will hopefully draw some new viewers to the show.

Leverage was its usual good self, this time addressing the Parker/Hardison budding relationship, as well as peering into the murky underbelly of the pharmacutical industry. The client literally runs into Hardison...and unfortunately for her pursuers, Eliot (and his coffee), and they take on her case of drug trial malfeasance and untimely deaths. Parker-the-Grifter continues to be adorable, sending her in as a pharma-girl in training and having her bust into the CEO's office for incriminating files. With security on her tail, Nate decides to have her finish the job, getting her out of there but cutting it too close for Sophie's sake. Sophie reminds Nate that he's not the moral compass anymore, and his usual shenanigans aren't going to fly anymore. And that's about it for that this week.

The rest of the episode is the usual con. Parker almost gets nabbed by security (but not really), Hardison gets closer to the client (but not really), Eliot is forced to flirt with an FDA rep (but not really...and he gets dumped). Sweet bit at the end as Parker confides in Sophie about her feelings for Hardison, and Hardison finds a way to tell her that he's ready for her when she is. Good little bit of character development.

Top Shot had some Kentucky Longrifle fun, but this is more notable for the day where we went into full-on reality show scheming. A few guys decide that if they have to go to elimination, that they should get manuever to get the two best shooters to go against each other, making one go home and making it easier for the rest of them to make it to the finals. Good plan, but they told the wrong person, who then ran and ratted out the plan. Oh reality tv, never disappointing. The red team smokes the challenge, and the rat and one of the main plotters (I seriously don't care about their names, sorry) shoot it out. Cool challenge, as they have to shoot a rope until it frays enough to drop a guillotine. More stuff like that, please. The rat goes home, and next week is an old west shootout, complete with shooting gallery full of crap that shatters and asplodes. Good times, Top Shot, good times.

Warehouse 13 ASAP, and Top Chef tonight.

Warehouse 13 is back!

2010-07-08T13:05:00.002-05:00

So one of my favorite "hidden" shows finally came back this week. Warehouse 13 is a nice blend of genres; a dash of government intrigue, some historical tidbits, a big chunk of "Friday the 13th the Series" style object-fu, all layered with a fluffy steampunk meringue.

Last time at the Warehouse, the eeeeevil MacPherson has been bronzed, debronzed by Claudia, who was evil, then wasn't evil because it was really Leena using Harriet Tubman's thimble to look like Claudia. MacPherson then debronzed...someone. Oh, and Artie got blowed up real good when he got stuck in the Umbilicus.

Luckily, Artie got better. Well, his component atoms got better anyway, swirling around in a SyFy-budgeted amount of special effects. Is Artie a Highlander? Nope, but he does have the Phoenix in his pocket...which means someone nearby is going to die. Myka? Pete? Nope, they're safe. Unfortunately, Mrs. Frederic's driver is the next closest, meaning that she's going to be in some trouble. Claudia is on the run, so Artie goes to track her down. Pete and Myka head to H.G. Wells' house...because H.G Wells is who got debronzed.

MacPherson goes to score some anti-matter while Pete gets to make out with the hot Jaime Murray (the hot hot grifter on BBC's "Hustle")...who turns out to be the real H.G. Wells. And a scientific genius. She traps Pete and Myka on the ceiling, then grabs a steampunk corset which, which powered, allows her to move faster than the human eye can see. What could power something like that? Maybe the briefcase full of anti-matter than MacPherson stole (with that pesky thimble again).

Also, Leena isn't evil, she's just misunderstood. And has a pearl in her ear. That Mrs. Frederic had to choke out of her. Hot.

Using the vest, Wells is able to run through the crazy wacky Escher vault in order to retrieve...some stuff. Myka uses the thimble to pass as Wells long enough for Pete to get the drop on MacPherson. MacPherson immediately goes to turn on Wells, but Wells gets there first and snips the cord of MacPherson's necklace, the one that keeps his blood from turning to acid while he's inside the Warehouse. Wells zips off to parts unknown, while Artie and Mrs. Frederic go through the funhouse...err, Vault, to see what Wells nabbed: her locket, comb, and compact. What do they do? Tune in next week?

Speaking of next week, Jewel Staite and Sean Maher will be guest stars, so Firefly fans, get your brown coats ready.

Top Chef was disappointing this week, as Angelo had to leave along with his dour partner whose name I refuse to mention. The elimination challenge was fun though, a breakfast/lunch/dinner tournament with two teams being safe after each course, and three teams competing to stave off double elimination in the final meal. The blood feud between Kenny and Angelo continues, and that should drive the rest of the season if there's any justice...which is probably why Kenny is still here after last night.

Psych comes back soon, Burn Notice tonight. Stick around.

Quick reviews while I'm still awake

2010-07-01T15:07:00.003-05:00

Fortunately, the summer schedule is about as laconic as I am, so I'm going to bust out some quick thoughts. Leverage gets short-sheeted, sadly, but I'll make it up to you later. Mmm...Leverage...

So yes, another two-episode Sunday night, before they take the 4th of July off and then come back with regular weekly episodes for the rest of the run (including the return of Wil Wheaton). First episode was an interesting look at the concept of family, as Parker's "dad" (the guy who taught her to be a thief), meets her new family and gets a lesson on what actual family is. Parker on the run had a lot of excitement, Hardison and Sophie's "Steed and Peel" cover identities made me giggle, and the wheat subplot...was a thing. The super security system was a good villain though, and the final gotcha moment was well done. Hardison as a violin prodigy was interesting, moreso because I read John Rogers' blog (kfmonkey.blogspot.com, of course), and his answers to Leverage questions. Specifically of note was the upcoming relationship between Nate and Hardison as mentor and protege. Look for this to recur. We also touch base with the meta-plot as The Italian comes back to point the team in Damien's direction. This episode has one great moment above all others though, the single tear running down Parker's cheek during Hardison's violin solo. I was definitely waiting for the reveal on that, and it didn't disappoint. It'll be a long week and a half until the next new episode.

Summer means summer shows, and so I delve more into reality/game show type stuff:

Top Shot remains interesting from a technical standpoint, and bless the poor editors who have to wring some drama out of the otherwise bland contestants. They seem like good people, but this would probably be better served as a faster-paced skills competition, rather than regularly paced reality fare. I'd rather see more marksmanship competitions than have to overhear minor squabbles in the house to pad out the hour.

Top Chef is rolling right along, and they have a good mix of drama and skills on display. Angelo is the new perfect villain for the season, and how did he not get cast by now? This guy is arrogant with a capital A, and his simmering feud with Kenny is going to get good. Amanda and Kelly both have potential for drama down the line too, and the challenges have been decent to this point. The pie challenge though...man, that got ugly there. Good thing Top Chef: Just Desserts is around the corner, eh?

Downfall isn't bad either, as it's an interestingly done quiz show, Chris Jericho is a great host, and the visual appeal of stuff falling off a building is always a good time. I just wish the damn show would go faster. Then again, that's my problem with most game shows. Except Jeopardy. All hail Jeopardy.

The Good Guys is just barely hanging on for dear life. The show has promise, and no episode (of the three I've seen) has been a total waste of my time, but bits of the formula are starting to wear on me. The flashbacks aren't altogether terrible, although most of them are bits we could have figured out on our own. Also, the "chamber spinning/gunshot" sound effect that accompanies them is getting on my nerves. Bradley Whitford is trying so hard, and if the show makes it to season 2, it will be all him. However, there aren't any compelling supporting characters, and neither of the two leads is making up for it. I don't hate it, but I don't love it, and with Psych, Warehouse 13, and Eureka knocking on the door, the sands are running out of that hourglass.

The return of Leverage

2010-06-21T11:30:00.002-05:00

It's been a long...however long it was...but Leverage is back. On a new night too, Sunday nights at 8 PM, which works out just swimmingly for me. Even better, last night (and next week) was a double dose of cons. After last season, we had Nate bleeding from a gunshot wound and under arrest, the rest of the team (including Sophie) safely off, and Sterling triumphant...mostly.

Last night, we start right off with breaking Nate out of prison. A well-oiled plan that goes according to schedule, and then...turns out to be a fantasy that Sophie is spinning to Nate while he's in jail. He doesn't want them to break him out, he wants to serve his time. Well, I guess that rules out Nate, let's see what the rest of the group will get up to. Oh wait, Nate found a client in the clink. Guess it's time to break open that kielbasa, dig out the earbud, and get back to what they do best: providing leverage.

Turns out the warden is crooked and is paying off judges in exchange for them giving out jail time to middle-class petty crimes in order for him to make his jail's capacity quotas. Shifty deal, and since the guards are beating (and killing) prisoners for money on the inside, it's none too safe for Nate and Billy (the client, or at least, I think that's his name). Fun fact, looks like Billy was played by Aldis Hodge's brother. Nepotism? Who cares, he was good.

Nate stabs Billy to get him in the protected confines of the infirmary, and Eliot comes in as a new prison doctor to provide extra protection. Good scene where Nate fakes a toothache to get a chance to talk to Eliot in provate, which Eliot uses as a chance to get Nate under the lights and let him know how he feels about being conned by him (in the season two finale). All is well though (although Sophie told the rest of the team her real name while Nate's been in the clink), and Hardison comes in to work the warden and get into his files. Sophie ropes him in, using a fake Senate campaign to set him up to take a fall. From the inside, Nate has to walk the prison, helping them build a map from the inside of cameras, heat sensors, and motion detectors. Love the trichotomy of Hardison's computer map, Parker's glassboard map with stickers, and the one Nate makes out of a chess board and various game pieces. The escape was a wonder of low tech, with steam fooling the motion sensor and a frozen trash bag getting Nate past the heat sensors. Parker's model helicopter (which had been set up at a couple points in the episode) fooled the guards, and a ruse with Hardison's new van helps Nate escape and set up the warden as an accomplice. Even better, we get Hardison and Parker pretending to make out in the van as a distraction (or as Parker asks "We were pretending"?). Parker had some great moments in the episode, especially the photoshoot for the fake incriminating photos (of the incumbent Senator, used to help sink the hook).

However, the con had a wild card in it, a mystersious (and hot) Italian agent who is after Nate and his team in order to set them on this season's Big Bad, a guy who bankrolls many different major criminal organizations, and a man not to be taken on headfirst. As Nate reasons out though, they can keep taking their usual jobs, and just try to steer towards ones that will help them get a hook into the Big Bad. Oh and Nate's drinking again.

Which leads us into Episode 2, as the team proceeds to take a job with...absolutely no obvious tie-in to the Big Bad. Eh, can't have everything on a platter, I suppose. Instead, we get a mysterious program called Manticore, which is stifling internet traffic to and from Iran, and helping Iranians catch some protestors or somesuch. Honestly, it's probably an interesting issue, it just gets shuffled to the side for the main thrust of the episode, which is that the computer software guru (and jerk...and nerd) who runs the program. They break into his office, but the program is running off of his 1985 computer, which Hardison just can't hack. Instead, they need to get his password, which they deduce is based off of something from high school, since his office (and the computer) shows that he is obsessed with his high school experiences. So (although they don't say it), let's go steal a reunion.

Sophie (showing off an array of voices), manages to get the reunion moved up a few months so that they can use it to pump Duberman for information. Sophie creates a fictional student, while Nate just borrows the identity of the class clown (and Duberman's nemesis). Hardison gets to stay in the van and run rapid-fire background checks on the other attendees while Parker works the room as catering and provides backup. Eliot gets to go back to Dubertech to be able to punch in the password once they discover it. And eventually, beat up some Iranians who came for Manticore.

Throwing a wrench into the works is a hot assassin played by MTV's Kari Wuhrer. Still kinda hot, not gonna lie. She puts the moves on Nate to get him out of the way, then we get a kung-fu vs fire extinguisher fight with her and Sophie (also hot). They dispatch her (she was sent by the Iranians too...they ruin everything), but slip on a detail and reveal themselves to Duberman as fakes. He changes his password...which Eliot is able to punch right in thanks to Sophie's linguistic programming. It was set up earlier, with Sophie able to train Eliot to unconsiously pour and prepare her tea with the right verbal and tactile cues. In this case, they were able to hack Duberman into changing his password by using repeated variations of Badger85 (school mascot, and graduating year). Eliot's consternation at missing the reunion was hilarious at the end. Couple of sweet moments too, as Nate and Sophie manage to be crowned King and Queen of the reunion and get a dance together. Even sweeter; Hardison and a dangling Sophie (from her thieving harness) sharing their own dance up in the rafters.

Next week, Parker gets caught during a break-in, and Hardison must pass as a concert violinist. Yes, two more new Leverage episodes in six short days. Be there!

Finally, Doctor Who!

2010-06-15T11:45:00.003-05:00

I've been jonesing bad for The Doctor, but my crazy mixed-up schedule has kept me from him for too long. Well, I'm catching up now, and none too soon. If i'd known how much I was going to enjoy Amy's Choice, I'd have been hating myself even more the last couple weeks.

I was going to watch these back to back, but I just finished Amy's Choice and it feels like the ending of the arc, so I'm going to review, then go to the next episode:

So we open on an idyllic country cottage, where a pregnant Amy is bak...umm, pregnant? Yes, Amy is pregnant, and Rory is an extra in a 1980's Dexy's Midnight Runners video. The TARDIS shows up, and The Doctor comes out to reminisce about all the fun they had five years ago. Some creepy old people are about, and then they all fall asleep.

And wake up in the TARDIS. ? They all had the same dream, then the same birds are chirping, and they wake up back in the quaint village? Buh? Okay, so something odd is definitely going on, but nothing for Amy to choose from yet (just kidding, we all know she's going to choose Rory or The Doctor by the end of the hour, let's watch). The Doctor starts by interrogating some very old people, only they can summon the birdsong? They wake back up in the TARDIS, and there's another guy. The Dreamlord. You can't touch him, only see and hear him as he taunts our heroes and sets up the rules for the episode.

As an aside, I love this kind of stuff in my sci-fi. Star Trek did it well with The Squire of Gothis and all the Q episodes. Godlike entity, sets up a situation, clearly defined rules...and go. In this case, one world is a dream, one is reality, and they must choose one. They will face deadly peril in both worlds, but by allowing the peril in the dream to overtake them, they will survive and win the game, and valuable prizes shall be theirs for the taking. The Dreamlord gets all meta on the Doctor, calling him out for being all dashing and floppy haired and an "intergalactic wag". Loved that term. Anyway, it seems like the TARDIS world is the obvious real world, so the sci-fi twist would be to make the pregnant world the real world. Or both. Or neither.

Anyway, after some mucking about, we finally get to the real choice, Amy's choice between the dreamy Doctor, or good old dependable Rory (ponytail optional). Oh, right, and the mortal dangers. Behind Door #1 we have the TARDIS out of power and drifting towards a "cold star". Behind Curtain #2, an army of old people with aliens living inside them who can shoot poo gas out of the eyes in their mouths and turn people to dust. Back in the icy TARDIS, the Dreamlord (who looooooves taunting), sends The Doctor and Rory away so he and Amy can have a chat. After all, it is her choice. He offers her the chance to stay with him and be his Companion...of Dreams? I guess. She trusts the Doctor and knows that he tells her everything. The Dreamlord scoffs and asks "What's his name?".

Back in the village of old people, The Doctor is locked in a meat freezer for protection, and Rory has dragged a sleeping (and huge, I forgot about the several jokes about Amy's size in this episode) Amy upstairs. The Doctor swips a VW bus, saves a few villagers, then heads over to Rory and Amy's place. Rory takes the dramatic step of cutting off his ponytail and has a nice moment with Amy before the Doctor crashes in through the window. Rory takes a shot to the side and slowwwwwly turns to dust. Amy realizes that she does love Rory, and whether this world is a dream or not, she doesn't want to be in a world without him. Amy and the Doctor head back down to the VW, crash it into the house, and

wake up back in the TARDIS. All is well, Amy loves Rory and the TARDIS works again. So the Doctor blows it up.

You see, the Dreamlord can't affect the physical world, so how could he stop down the TARDIS? It's all explained as such: Crystalline psychic pollen got in the time widgets, sent them all into a dreamstate, and the Doctor's dark side manifested itself as the Dreamlord. Of course. Well, that was kind of a ball-kick of an ending. At least we got the important issue settled, even if it did feel a little more Holodeck than Q by the end.

Oh my, The Hungry Earth is another two-parter. Well, i've got some time, let's dig into it.

A Doctor-less intro gives us a drilling team in Wales, 2020. They're drilling to 21,000 kilometers, further than anyone has ever drilled before. Some kid's dad takes over the night shift, and gets swallowed up into the ground.

The Doctor has promised Rio, but delivered a gray countryside. Amy is not happy. Also, they see themselves waving at themselves. Wonder if that will come back. Rory heads back to the TARDIS to return Amy's engagement ring to a safe place, while Amy follows The Doctor to a big drilling thingy, which Rio most decidedly does not have. Inside the drill control room, more holes open in the ground, and begin to swallow up an old guy. Amy stops to help him, gets sucked into a hole herself, and despite the best efforts of the Doctor (in full-on "I'm going to get you out of this" mode), she is swallowed up by the patch of ground. Rory, meanwhile, has been mistaken for an officer and led to a graveyard where bodies have been disappearing out of the ground. Spooky. Rory and the Doctor finally meet up, and Rory is not happy about the loss of Amy. The Doctor does a little "You've all got to do exactly what I say" speechifying, and they set about creating a defense against whatever is coming up from the bowels of the Earth (oh, and has dropped a forcefield around them too). They crowd into the church (which has the worst stuck door ever...and can't even be soniced. "That is rubbish", says Rory), but the dyslexic Sherlock Holmes kid is still outside. He is taken, but the Doctor uses cool sunglasses to track down and capture one of the lizard people (cold-blooded, so he uses a fire extinguisher and the refrigerated back of a meals on wheels truck). he interrogates the captive, who turns out to be a descendant of the first species on Earth, lizard people! They considered the drill an attack, and the warrior caste feels the urge to wipe out the apes and take the planet back. The Doctor is all about brokering a peace, and gives another stirring speech, this one to convince them not to hurt the prisoner/hostage until he can go into the Earth and negotiate.

Basically, this episode was setting a lot of stuff on the table, and then paying it off next episode. We've got the old guy and his weird green veins (from being tongue-stabbed by a lizard), the mom who has a nice collection of improvised weapons, the weird kid, the scientist who hitched a ride with the Doctor, Amy and the kid's dad (who was dissected while still alive...oww), and finally...was that really Amy and Rory waving to them?

Moar Burn Notice

2010-06-11T13:36:00.002-05:00

So Burn Notice is in full swing, and Michael is in search of Jesse, the spy who Michael inadvertently burned last week. Michael has convinced Vaughn to let him bring Jesse in as an asset, rather than have him shipped off to parts unknown. Michael's first act is to help Jesse out of a setup, a mysterious group of well-dressed thugs try to nab him, but thanks to a bicycle chain and some nearby power lines (and hopefully a stunt that isn't tested out in real life by some drunken "Mythbuster"), Jesse is able to escape. He tracks Michael down, and we have our client.

Michael goes with "Burn Notice Plan A", pretend to be a fellow bad guy and ingratiate himself with the enemy. In this case, it's "Turner", one of my new favorite aliases. Pretty standard-grade stuff, although Jesse has a flair for improvisation and a reluctance for teamwork. At this point, i'm hoping they can keep him around as a recurring character. I especially liked the little character-building heart to heart he had with Fi. Giving her a more gung-ho guy to play off of could make for some interesting times.

Hmm, they took care of the bad guy pretty quickly this week...ohhh, no they didn't. Khan's out, and he found Jesse. And he has him all hooked up to electrodes. Fortunately, they only show the ones attached from the waist up. Michael, as "Turner", still has an in though. Neat bit of spycraft as Michael is able to pass a message on to Jesse in plain sight, and manage to get the bad guy and his number two man to Reservoir Dogs each other.

Oh, and how nice, Jesse is moving in with Michael's mom. How conveeeeeeenient. Of course they're keeping him around, he's the information source for the meta-plot. Well, good for him, and it'll be nice to see what happens when he finally learns the truth about Mr. Weston. Jesse is a holder of grudges. Good start to the season, can't wait to see where this goes, especially the inevitable confrontation between Jesse and Michael.

Has it seriously been two weeks?

2010-06-08T12:17:00.002-05:00

Between the end of the "regular season", a change in my work schedule, and post-finals lazyness, it has been a while for this blog. However, the summer season has started, and I've got a little catching up to do. First off, Burn Notice.

When last we left Mr. Weston, he'd saved Frasier's dad from Simon the Mad Bomber (who had better come back), and then was bundled off to some secret prison somewhere, where he finds himself in a tastefully appointed study. Michael has been recruited by Vaughn, a new mystery man, who needs his help to track down a new Big Bad with deep pockets and his fingers in a lot of pies. Welcome to Season Four.

After a stop to a "gun enthusiast" in the middle of the jungle, Michael agrees to take the case, and winds up back in Miami. He stops in to see mom, and apologizes...for everything. A rarity, a scene between Michael and his mother that I actually would have liked to see more of. The reunion with Fiona is next, and wouldn't you know it, she's loading up guns because she has a client. Winston has been green-lit for death by a biker gang, and negotiations aren't going well.

The biker gang stuff was standard client stuff, although the wrap-up involved a great chase scene and a couple of funny bits involving Winston and Big Ed (leader of the biker gang). As for the new meta-plot, Michael slips into a secure facility to grab some files but accidentally winds up getting the spy whose identity he "borrowed" arrested and blacklisted. As Sam points out, Michael just burned a spy. Next week...Michael helps that spy? Wow, nice turnaround.

Good start to the season, all the cogs are turning, and this season's plot seems a little juicier than last season's.

I also wanted to touch on The Good Guys, the new series from Burn Notice creator Matt Nix. The pilot was a little choppy, but I loves me some Bradley Whitford, and there were some promising elements in the episode. Bradley Whitford plays a former 70's supercop who's on the outs with the department, but still sticks around because of his fame from one big case back in his heyday. Colin Hanks is his by the book partner who is stuck with him because his behavior has annoyed everyone else in the department. The bit seems to be that they get assigned to embarrasingly minor cases, but then stumble into bigger ones. Nix has a good formula going with Burn Notice, and Good Guys looks to take the same approach: find a routine that works, and beat it into the ground. Burn Notice has the season long arcs to keep it going though, and once I catch up on episode two, we'll see if Good Guys will have the same kind of staying power.

Also, one thing I decided to check out was Top Shot on the History Channel. It's a marksmanship competition hosted by Survivor's Colby Donaldson, and it promises a variety of challenges with a variety of historical and modern weapons. I'm all for skill-based competitions, so as long as they keep putting them up on Hulu, I'll be checking it out.

The first team challenge is interesting, as they have to use four older models of rifles, but they actually get to practice with the weapons and get training from an expert. As opposed to the usual "here's some stuff, go nuts" way that challenges to on reality competitions, this is refreshing to see. There's still the social aspect of the game, but not as much as other shows, and there's still a lot of professional courtesy. Considering how many of them are military or law enforcement, and how disciplined the skillset is, I'm not too surprised.

Deciding who goes into the elimination challenge is interesting, some of these people know each other and have reputations as great shooters. Still nice to see that it hasn't gone too negative...yet. It is reality TV after all. Colby has learned a lot at the feet of the Probst. The finals were good, and it was some good respectful competition. Almost too respectful for reality TV, but props for History Channel for elevating the game.

Lost: Initial Thoughts

2010-05-24T12:47:00.002-05:00

So I'm going to watch the finale again in a day or two, try to really get into the details. However, like everybody else, I've got my knee-jerk reaction to the finale.

First of all, I liked it. It was a nice send-off to the series, and I dug everybody being happy in the Alterna-verse, especially the reunions of the characters that were killed off and hadn't returned in a while. Just nice visuals and a good way to go out. The drama of the Light in the Cave was a little iffy...I see how there had to be one final problem to fix, and it was a good way for Jack to go out, but it was a little out of the blue, and fixed a little too easily. The final Jack/Locke confrontation had the potential to be really epic, and it was over too soon. Keeping the two of them apart until that scene would have been a better deal too, really build it up. I like the idea of Hurley and Ben taking care of the Island, I'd watch that series. I liked how they were able to set up those iconic Island moments and parallel them to the Alterna-verse methods of "waking up" the Island memories. I wonder if the bomb created the Alterna-verse, or if it just trapped them there. I wonder if the Alterna-verse was Purgatory, or an actual afterlife. I'd like to have seen Jacob taken to task more for the crap he pulled. I'd have liked more resolution on the Dharma Initiative. On the whole though, it was a satisfying end.

It's like a Stephen King novel: He creates deep characters, brings in an interesting supernatural situation, then sets them loose. The resolution of the supernatural stuff always seems a little disappointing (see: Under the Dome), but the journey is worth the slightly disappointing destination. Getting hung up on some of the minutia prevents you from taking in the big picture. Lost was a hell of a ride, and I'll miss it. Hopefully, it provides the template for another show like it, but one that plots out the whole story in advance. Well done Lost. Well done.

What a long strange week it has been

2010-05-21T11:59:00.003-05:00

Sorry for the delay in updating, I've been moved to days at work for the summer, so my viewing and blogging schedules have both been thrown out of whack. Also, it's season finale time, and a lot of shows are happening. I'm going to throw out some quick thoughts on the week that was, with a few shows getting an expanded treatment coming up.

How I Met Your Mother: We finally get the payoff to "The Wedding Bride" teaser from earlier in the season, as Tony tells his version of the Ted/Stella/Tony love triangle. Chris Kattan is funny as "Jed Mosly", although the rest of the movie scenes play as really heavy handed parody of the rom-com genre. Doesn't advance a whole lot of the meta-story, but next week's "Dopplegangers" should kick off the Marshall/Lily stuff going into next season.

Castle: Season finale, and a doozy. The first few minutes was remarkably done, making the reveal of the actual circumstances of the case a true surprise. Bringing back the writer's poker game was very welcome, and the separation anxiety of Alexis going off to her pre-college program was a good parallel to Castle and Beckett's situation. All the elements paid off down the stretch; Beckett breaks up with Denning just as Castle seemingly reunites with his ex-wife/publisher. A summer in the Hamptons awaits, and the possibility of Castle not coming back to the police (although we all know how that will end up). See you in the fall, indeed.

Lost: I'm hesistant to dig too much into this episode with the series finale coming up on Sunday, so I won't. The one scene that still sticks with me is Ben shooting Widmore, stating "He doesn't get to save his daughter". Amazing work, and coupled with Ben seemingly about to find the family he'd always wanted in the Alterna-verse, it ups the stakes for the fate of those versions of the characters going into Sunday. Alterna-Desmond is pulling strings and setting players in motion (much like Jacob) for something big. Not-Locke wants to use Desmond to destroy the Island, and Jack has taken over for Jacob. Still, smart money is on Jack not being the Protector by the time it all wraps up Sunday night. Sawyer seems like the obvious choice, Hurley seems like the obvious choice in retrospect on Monday morning. The campfire storytime by Jacob was well done, even if it was a big shot of exposition for the sake of the people who want questions answered. It does speak to the overarching theme of "choice" however, and that theme should be prevalent for the finale. There will be a massive Lost post by Monday or Tuesday though, and I'll go over everything as a whole (as will most humans alive).

Community: Wow. Well done Dan Harmon. Managing to be both a season finale, a deconstruction of season finales, and then some intangible third thing at once; this episode did in 22 minutes what many sitcoms never accomplished in their entire runs. Most of the other characters are pushed aside for the denouement of the Slater/Jeff/Britta triangle. Slater wants another shot at Jeff, Britta is finally realizing her feelings for Jeff, Jon Oliver is finally back!, Troy spends most of the episode eating a giant cookie, which then becomes a metaphor for his relationship with Abed...just so much to process. Then the Tranny Dance. Britta's war of words with Slater was so well done, as was her speech when she thought she'd won the title of Tranny Queen. Jeff's reaction (run) was also better handled than a lot of similar situations would have been. That all leads up to...Annie. Annie was going to run off to Delaware with Vaughn, putting her conveniently out of the way for a while. She talks to Jeff, Jeff confides in her about how Slater and Britta represent the two sides of who he is...the Jeff he could be, and the Jeff he is...then Jeff and Annie kiss. Hard. The love triangle has become a love Flux Capacitor. That's how you do it.

The Office: The "Sabre printers catch on fire" storyline that has been creeping in these past few weeks comes to a head, as someone ratted out the company, and Jo (Kathy Bates in her best guest appearance of the season) is out for blood. Andy, Pam, Daryl, Kelly (who Tweeted, and Woofed it) are all to blame, but in the end, Michael jumps on the grenade in order to save everybody's job. For all the ups and downs (some real, some only percieved) that this show has had the last few seasons, the scene with Jo and Michael in her jet is one of the best written, best acted moments in the entire run, and shows that this show still has a lot left in the tank. Steve Carell is supposedly leaving the show at the end of next year, and this hopefully signals a possible turnaround for the luck of Michael Scott, especially with the likelyhood of Holly coming back to the office. Also, Dwight is trying to buy the office building that houses Dunder-Mifflin. Surprised that didn't come more into play tonight. Looking forward to next season as well.

30 Rock: Speaking of having something left in the tank, last night's episode made up for a lot of sub-par episodes from this season. Continuing last week, Jack manages to make up with Nancy, allowing Liz to stop stalling the wedding (although it made for many good comedy bits). On the way to Wedding #2, Liz runs into Matt Damon's pilot "Carol", who is not only a big TGS fan, but is also the male Liz Lemon. She almost scares him off with a big crazy speech at Cerie's wedding, but he makes it back in time for Grizz's ceremony. As much as I liked Matt Damon in this role, I can't imagine he's going to be a regular cast member for the fall, so we'll see how this ends. Also, Jack managed to knock up Avery (prompting Nancy to dump him), and Kenneth overreacts to a possible promotion and move to Los Angeles, and manages to get himself fired. All cliffhangers that will not be resolved until September or later. Still, a strong end to a shaky season, and hopefully this kind of momentum is carried over to next year. Next season. Whatever.

Doctor Who: So the saga of Dr. River Song meets up with the Weeping Angels. Two great stories that didn't go all that well together for me. Don't get me wrong, I still liked the episode, although the second part way more than the first. There were a lot of great bits, but they didn't solidify into a cohesive unit for me, which hurt it somewhat. I liked the usage of Angel Bob as a way of getting under the Doctor's skin, and his speech at the end of Part 1 was kinda cool, but with a hint of cheesy under it. Some people may like a strong character coming in and being able to fluster the Doctor, but it seemed more like Song was able to do it because it was written that way, not because her character is just that capable of doing it. Amy remains both adorable, and a magnet for trouble. The second half is another piece of my "This is all related to the Tennant finale" theory, with the Doctor agonizing over tossing himself into the Time Crack in order to save...well, everything. The ending was a little telegraphed, waiting for the Doctor to catch up to us in figuring out that he could toss the Angels into the Crack and solve both problems. The bit with Amy blind and alone in the middle of the "forest" was such a great scene though, and the usage of gravity in the episode was consistent and elegant in its simplicity. At times, it felt like it could have been a really good single episode, instead of an unevenly paced two-parter. By the end though, it all felt like a prelude for the last five minutes.

Yep, they kissed. The Doctor takes Amy back to her house, she spills her guts...and throws herself at The Doctor. I'm glad they didn't keep stretching it out, and I'm really looking forward to "Vampires in Venice" this week (since I don't skip ahead...cheaters!). Oh, and then the idea of "Time can be rewritten" isn't to be forgotten in all the shipper glee either. Amy doesn't remember Daleks. Remember this fact. Remember it well.

Lost on Sunday night, and then a day to let it sink in. I've also got to catch up on Chuck, and give some thoughts on this show, and whether it really needs to stick around any longer.

Also, Heroes is officially canceled. Heroes is one of the reasons I started doing this in the first place (you know, to kick it on the way down), so it's like a death in the family...but a good one, like an old uncle that no one likes. Goodbye forever, Heroes.

Best Thursday Night In A While

2010-05-14T06:14:00.002-05:00

All three shows were amazing, and all set up next week's episodes, which makes next Thursday potentially huge. Let's get right to it.

The Office has been working a few storylines, and they start to come to a head tonight. The flaming Sabre printers, the baby contract between Dwight and Angela, Jim and Pam having a baby, and Michael Scott having an affair with a married woman. Well, the baby contract is mediated, leading to a settlement where Dwight has to have sex (to completion) with Angela five times. Jim and Pam are exhausted from being up all night with the baby, so Daryl tells them about the secret warehouse nap spot...which happens to be within earshot of Dwight and Angela's love nest. Unfortunate. Andy, as a former cuckold, drags Michael to see the husband of the lady (yes, I don't take notes) he's nailing, in order to hopefully bring Michael around. Michael refuses to capitulate though, but the collective shaming that the rest of the office hits him with finally gets him to do the right thing. Favorite scene had to be where Ryan, inspired by Michael's "take what you want" philosophy, walks right up to Erin and basically offers her a threeway with him and Kelly, then just as quickly walks back and gives up on the "take what you want" philosophy. In the coda, Michael is ambush interviewed by the local news about the aforementioned flaming printers, of which he is of course oblivious.

On 30 Rock, Liz is stuck going to three weddings in one day (that's twelve hours of Spanx), and decides to revisit old boyfriends in order to find the one who she can take to Floyd's wedding. After returns of Jon Hamm (now with pirate hook hands), and Dennis (trying to "balloon boy" his way to fortune), she has to settle with...Wesley Snipes. Still such a great character. Meanwhile, Tracy is going to star in Garfield 3 (Feline Groovy...it's a pun, because cat's paws have grooves), but DotCom and Kenneth try to get Tracy to take a more dramatic role in order to get him the "O" in his "EGOT" necklace. That leads to a great litany of terrible things that Tracy saw as a youth, all of which he has repressed: A prostitute stabbed a clown, a baby gave a tattoo to another baby, a crackhead breastfeeding a rat, and my personal favorite, our basketball hoop was a ribcage. So Liz, stuck with Wesley, almost manages to find a charming groomsman...but he's a furry. Did you have to use the correct terminology of "yiffing"? Now I feel unclean. Also, Jack finally has sex with Nancy (and I'll take Julianne Moore in lingerie every week, thank you), but has to come clean with her about Avery. He does so at Floyd's Catholic wedding, taking advantage of the fact that Nancy can't storm out on him before the end of Mass, then texts Liz to stall her reading until he can calm her down. And...to be continued? Well, all right then.

Community: I had to save this for last, because this is such a great show. It is hitting every joke out of the park, and look no further than the scene where Jeff puts Annie on the "witness stand". Just such a great performance by Joel McHale, and equally good by Alison Brie, who doesn't even have to speak for most of the scene. Let me backtrack: It's finals week (it's finals week here too! I just took one yesterday! It's like they're writing this show about meeeeee!!!), and Annie assumes that everyone will be moving on to Spanish 103 and keeping the group together. Jeff has other plans, and the group looks to be falling apart. Well, not really, but it looks that way to Annie. Senor Chang (still the best character name on TV today) confides in Jeff that he never actually got certified as a Spanish teacher, and needs Jeff's help in getting one of those fake (i.e. "better than real") diplomas that got Jeff in all that trouble. Unbeknownst to them, Annie's recorder is running, and she rats out Senor Chang to the dean in an effort to make the whole gang repeat Spanish and thus stick together. The scene with the actual Spanish teacher was great, showing just how little teaching Senor Chang has done in the last two semesters.

So that brings us back to the scene in the library, with Jeff tearing Annie a new one. She leaves, and the rest of the group buckles down to hit the books and try to pass the test. However, at test time, Shirley gets a text from Annie, saying that she's coming clean to Senor Chang. Concerned (as we all knew he would be), Jeff runs to the rescue, followed by the rest of the group...then eventually by Starburns, who leads a Spartacus-like run out of the classroom ("We all love Hannah!"), postponing the test. Annie turns out to be okay, and the gang comes back to take (and pass) the test...thanks to Pierce boning the replacement teacher in exchange for an easier exam. Oh, and Troy gets a Good Will Hunting storyline where he's a plumbing savant. Always nice to see Jerry Minor. Last episode of the season is next week, and I'll be sad to see it go.

Speaking of which, the fall schedule is ending soon, and summer is almost upon us. I know Eureka, Psych, and Burn Notice are coming back, as is Warehouse 13, so my nerd pants are tingling. I'm also thinking of doing Dexter from Season 1. Doctor Who, part 2, is Saturday...I can't believe I've managed to wait a whole week for it. See you Monday!

Nothing on Lost was as awesome as Robots vs Wrestlers...

2010-05-12T06:12:00.003-05:00

Don't get me wrong, Lost continues to be amazing heading into the final three hours or so of the show. However...Robots vs Wrestlers!

Let me explain, see How I Met Your Mother started us out with this awesome mixing of awesome things (and the gang's new tradition), and turned into a decent Ted episode. Including the Fourth Doppleganger!

This episode sets the table for a lot of things though: Robin not being with the group as much, which triggers Barney's fear that the group will fall apart, Ted's inherent douchey side, and then Marshall and Lily talking about when to start trying to have a baby. Also, Robots vs Wrestlers.

Poor Ted. Every time he tries to bring up some of his high-falutin interests, someone makes a fart noise to interrupt him. He gets an invitation to a fancy penthouse party in the mail (of Marissa, the previous tenant of his apartment), and drags the gang along...on the same night as Robots vs Wrestlers. How do you do that?

Great guest casting in the party, however, as Ted gets to hobnob with Peter Bogdosian, Ariana huffington, and Will Shortz. I remember Will from my years as a subscriber to GAMES magazine, so it's good to see him on my screen. The rest of the gang bails, as Ted decides to forgo Robots vs Wrestlers in order to stay and keep being the life of the snooty party. And there's where Marshall, Lily, and Barney run into...Mexican Wrestler Ted.

Yes, the fourth doppleganger has been found, and when Ted gets the picture on his phone, it makes him realize that he is approaching the "too much douchey" mark, and runs to be with his friends. In the end, Barney's fears fail to come to pass, Robin comes back just in time to interrupt Ted's poem with a fart noise, and Marshall and Lily realize that they can compromise on starting a family...at least until they find the last doppleganger.

Castle was decent, involving Demming helping out on an odd murder case, and Castle being all jealous and adorable. The metrosexuality between Castle, Ryan, and Esposito was funny, as was a few notes of a "Sex in the City"-fied version of the Castle theme in the background. Well played, music guy! Not much happens until the end, as Castle spies Beckett and Demming smooching, which should kick off our run to the season finale.

Now for Lost. Tonight was finally our Jacob and Man in Black flashback. And they litereally go back to the very beginning, as Jacob and MiB's mom (Claudia) washes up from a shipwreck and is helped by Allison Janney (unnamed). Claudia births her boys (wrapped in light and dark blankets, natch), and then Allison Jannet totally murders her with a rock. LOST.

So now the boys are teenagers, and MiB finds a box on the beach. Somehow he knows it's a game (with white and black rocks for game pieces), and he teaches Jacob to play (similar to how Locke taught Walt how to play backgammon). Jacob can't lie to Mom, and tells her about the game. Mom comes out to talk to MiB about it, and tells him that there's nothing across the sea, and that he'll never have to worry about becoming dead. The boys do a little boar hunting, but run into the survivors of Claudia's boat wreck. Asking Mom about this, she gives them a lecture on how much people suck, and how she made it so they can never hurt each other. She then blindfolds them and leads them to a waterfall and a glowing cave. The light from the cave is the source of...well, everything, apparently. The light inside the cave is an analog for the light inside of us, just more of it, and if the light goes away, then so do all of us.

Later, Jacob and MiB play the game some more...Jacob complains about the rules, and MiB tells him that one day he'll get to make his own rules and make him follow them. Hmmm. MiB sees his mother's ghost, and follows her to the village where the others (or...The Others?) live. miB tries to drag Jacob with him to go join their people, but Jacob is having none of it, and beats the tar out of MiB. MiB still goes to the village.

Flash to the present, where adult Jacob is still a mama's boy, but he still travels to visit his brother and play the game. MiB has found some of the spots on the Island where the electromagnetic energy is high, and they've dug wells to get closer to them. And hold Desmond, in a pinch.

Mom comes to visit MiB down in the well, and he shows her where they've broken through to the light. There's also the wheel (the one that transports Ben from the Island to the desert), which will channel the light. Mom knocks MiB out, like a bitch. Then she takes Jacob back to the original light cave, and names him the protector of it. The light is the heart of the Island, and the source of potentially everything. She claims that going down into the cave/into the light won't kill you, it'll be worse than death. Hmm, wonder how she knows? She pours him wine (from the bottle we saw in the Richard Alpert episode) while chanting, and makes him drink to become the protector.

MiB wakes up, sees the village burned to the ground, and his light-holes filled in. Man, she was busy. He's pretty pissed, and goes to mess up Mom and Jacob's place. She comes home to see the wreckage, and finds the box with the game in it, with (say it with me) one white and one black stone; then gets a dagger through the back, prison-style. She thanks MiB for killing her, then dies. Jacob comes home with the firewood, and beats the tar out of MiB again. This time though, he drags MiB back to the source and tosses his ass down the hole. What comes out?

The smoke monster.

Yep, that just happened. Jacob drags MiB's body back to the cave and arranges him next to Mom, then puts a bag in his hand with (say it with me) one white and one black stone in it. Then we get flashbacks from season 1 of Jack, Kate, and Locke finding the skeletons and the stones, just in case you forgot what went down.

And there you go. We know the story of Jacob and MiB, and the stones, and the origin story of the smoke monster. Next week...I dunno, the preview was vague. More present day Island fun though!

Seven Short Reviews

2010-05-11T06:28:00.003-05:00

One of the benefits of being almost done with classes for the semester, is that now I have time to jot down some thoughts on some of the comedies that I've been neglecting. I still watch, but they haven't been as pressing as the Losts and Doctor Whos of the schedule. I'm just going to mow through these:

The Office: Honestly, the Thursday comedy block has turned into "Community, 30 minutes of dead air, and then an hour or perfunctory viewing". Don't get me wrong, I still watch The Office and 30 Rock regularly, but it just doesn't seem like appointment television anymore. However, this was a good night for it. The shakeups around Dunder Mifflin (now folded into Sabre) led to some plot-driven episodes, and this isn't really a show that responds well to having to keep track of too much. The better episodes have the fluffiest of plots based around the most oddly mundane of activities. This week, we had the continuation of the Michael/hot Dave and Buster's manager saga. Pam does some digging and thinks that D&D manager is cheating on Michael. Michael sends Dwight out to investigate, which Dwight takes to mean "seduce her, bring her to orgasm, then report back to Michael". Getting back to basics is what this show needs, and this was basics. Dwight gets a little rope to go a little crazy, Pam meddles, Michael awkwardly interacts with humans, and then we get a great reveal at the end: Michael is the mistress. Additionally, the move of Daryl to the office area allows him to finally get back at Andy for an incident from two seasons ago (or one, they run together), although pranks tend to backfire at D-M/Sabre. That office will poison you, Daryl!

30 Rock: NBC shows do a great job with holidays, allowing them to let the festivities and traditions of the day do the heavy lifting on the main plot, then hitch the jokes to it and watch them roll. That might be the worst metaphor ever. Anyway, Mother's Day means we get to see Liz's mom, Jack's mom, and Jan Hooks back as Jenna's mom (aka, the one Jack paid off to be nice to Jenna). Mother's Day is her last payday, and with the money, she can finally get her other boob fixed. Just as horrifying as it sounds. Tracy doesn't know where his mother is, so they pull one out of central casting; specifically one from a late night Pajama/overalls infomercial. Fairly sedate as far as actual plot developments go, other than Jack's mom attempting to sabotage his relationship with Avery. Fun episode though, lot of good jokes born out of the friction that the guest stars bring in.

Saturday Night Live: I wasn't quite sure what to think going into this week's Betty White hosted episode. Yes, the internet got together and accomplished something, but when I heard they were bringing back a half dozen female SNL alumni, I was worried that they were going to keep Betty to a few sketches and let the other ladies do the heavy lifting. Instead, it turned into a "Best female recurring characters" night, with Betty White in every scene. The episode is up on Hulu, and some of the skits were nearly classics. An updated version of the "Census taker" skit had me rolling, and brought back fond memories of the Christopher Walken/Tim Meadows version from 2000 (written by Tina Fey, who was the census taker in this version...and likely the writer too). "Gingey" was a great period piece, featuring a really funny character by Amy Poehler and Betty White as a one-woman Greek chorus, getting all the good lines. A few sketches cut from dress rehearsal are up online too, and worth checking out as well. I'd like to see Betty White come back when she's 90 to take another run at it, assuming she has time between the gigs that she is almost certain to be getting offered after this performance.

Simpsons: Last week's Kedollarsignha intro had me ready to set the studio on fire, and the episode that followed it was just a mishmash of boring. However, then they do something like tonight's episode, and it wins me back. Using Moe as an omniscient narrator; Homer, Apu, and Reverend Lovejoy are told that one of their wives will be leaving them for Moe by the time they get back from their daytrip to Weasel Island (note: yes, there are weasels). Featuring an Itchy and Scratchy homage to "Going My Way" (don't feel bad, I had to Google the reference too), and one strong "A" story without the need for a tacked on "B" story, this may be the best written Simpsons episode in years. Amazing what happens when you stop trying to make awkward takes on dated pop culture references and stick to well-written stories that feature your vast cast of supporting characters.

The Cleveland Show: Well, it's a Black History Month episode in May, so take that as you will. This was a good showcase for Rollo though, who is becoming a really well-written character. Now if only Seth could write for any of the three teenage daughter characters he has on his Sunday night slate. Lot of great visual gags, and two solid stories that kept intertwining through the course of the show. This show is finding its voice, and I expect season two to really shine.

Family Guy: This was the most hit-or-miss episode of the night, squeezing as many jokes as possible out of Quagmire's gay-not-gay-now-a-woman father. After that well was dry, they have shim hook up with Brian, leading to a set of amazing reveals. Honestly, this was take it or leave it for most people, and I'll understand if you didn't dig it. I got some laughs out of it though, and the last scene with Quagmire and his dad/mom was actually a well done character moment. Quagmire is the last of the one-note characters left, and the writers are doing a fine job of giving him some dimension.

American Dad: From the episode title, I should have been expecting the "Incident on Owl Creek Bridge" ending, but it was still a nice surprise. Stan's fear of embarassment turns into a cross country fleeing, followed by an overly elaborate plan to get Obama to poop in a swimming pool. American Dad continues to just be a solidly done show, with ample gags.

Coming up next, How I Met Your Mother, Lost, and Castle.

Community Makes Me Happy

2010-05-10T06:22:00.003-05:00

Seriously. It took me a few days to watch last week's episode: "Modern Warfare", and it was just a perfect half hour of television. I would put that half hour of television up against any other half hour, not just of a tv show, but a half hour of life.

Not only was this hilarious as an episode, but we also finally get some progression of the "Sam and Diane" mechanic of the Jeff/Britta relationship that appeared to be driving the show way back in the first episode. The episode starts out simply enough; Jeff and Britta are bickering again, the dean announces a paintball contest, and Abed points out that Jeff and Britta should just have sex and get the tension out of the way. Jeff goes back to his car to take a nap, and then...

ONE HOUR LATER

...everything has changed. The campus has become paint-spattered wasteland, where roving gangs of nerds via for...The Prize. What follows is a pitch-perfect encapsulation of every action/survival movie cliche/trope under the sun. Throw in a few shots at "Glee" ("try writing an original song!"), and I was rolling. In the midst of it, Jeff and Britta have sex.

Yes, that's what I said. They finally pull the trigger and take it to the proverbial "next level". What does this mean for the show? Probably a lot with the season finale coming up, and should provide a lot of momentum going into Season 2. By the way, Joel McHale is pretty ripped. Anyway, this episode is up on Hulu, and if you've never seen Community, this is one you have to see. You don't need to know anything about the characters, or the previous storylines, and you don't even have to watch another episode afterwards (although you will...you totally will). Just take half an hour out of your day and watch, and I guarantee your satisfaction.

Doctor Who was a damn two-parter, and I don't want to review an incomplete storyline (plus I want to rewatch part one for reasons I'll enumerate in the review), so I'm going to "acquire" part two early and do it all at once. Or wait until Saturday and do it all at once. Haven't decided yet. I'll keep spoilers out though, for the three other people who wait for Saturdays like I do.

Doctor Who Double Shot

2010-05-05T04:38:00.003-05:00

If only I had a TARDIS of my own, I'd be able to go back and do these recaps on time. As it is, i have to rely on notes and my memory. In a way, I'm glad I'm doing these together though, as the two episodes show an interesting (some would say disturbing) new facet of the character of The Doctor.

The Beast Below is the first episode, from a couple weeks ago, and lucky for me I took notes. This is Amy (you know what, I'm calling her Amelia, I like it way better)...*ahem* Amelia's first official adventure as a Companion...and she's still in her pajamas. We don't start with her though, we start with the Good Ship UK, as Britain has launched a miniature version of itself into space, looking like a cross between Jabba's Sand Barge and the skyline from Blade Runner. Inside, a small child has gotten a bad grade. Call The Doctor! Even in the future, gingers are creepy and bad at school. But you know what's even creepier than a ginger kid? The world's most nightmare-inducing Zoltar machine, that's what! The dumb kid gets in the elevator against his friend's very good advice, and he drops down an ominous red shaft...and awesome credits.

The Doctor lays down the rules: Observe only, never get involved. Pardon me as I roll my eyes in a most upwards fashion. This rule gets broken more than the Prime Directive. Amelia describes the Doctor as "Detached and cold". This will be important. You might want to write it down. The Doctor does some of his wacky hijinks, grabbing a glass of water, setting it on the ground, and looking at it. He is observed by some weird hooded guys with robes and skate keys around their necks. And the creepy Smilers are still everywhere. Three faces? That's too creepy.

Meanwhile, a weird masked lady is in a room full of glasses of water. More on this later.

Amelia does what all good Companions do; gets in places she's not supposed to be. In this case, she picks a padlock (in the 29th Century? Buh?) with a hairpin, and finds...a big scorpion tail? The Hoodies find her and blast her with their +2 Ring of Sleeping. Somewhere else on the ship, The Doctor is poking around with his sonic screwdriver, and bumps into the Lady in Red. Why is the water important? Because it doesn't vibrate on the deck. Meaning the ship isn't moving. Also, all the power couplings and junction boxes are fakes. The ship is moving, but with no engines.

Back with Amelia, she's in a room with a tv screen a "protest" button, and a "forget" button. She watches a video with the horrible truth of Starship UK, and then...well, apparently she presses the forget button, because she wakes up and gets to see a message from herself. A tearful message, telling her to stop The Doctor from investigating any further. Like really tearful. Like, good acting job. The Doctor shows up, hits protest, and a trapdoor opens in the floor. The Doctor and Amelia drop down into the trash compactors from Star Wars, and they both really got slimed. Not a trash compactor though...it's a tongue. A giant tongue. Then The Doctor induces vomiting in order to get out of there. Gross, yo.

And holy crap, the Smilers can get out of the booth! That is some nightmare fuel right there. Red Riding Mask is "Liz Ten", aka Elizabeth the Tenth (~!). The three of them make it to the top of the Tower of London, to find out the horrible secret which Amelia chose to forget: The British Empire is riding on the back of an enslaved Star Whale (oooh, awkward name), whose pain centers are directly being shocked in order to act as a gas pedal. How very "Encounter at Farpoint" of them. The Doctor uses some screwdriver action to let the people in the room hear the screaming of the Star Whale, and Liz watches her own video, with her own set of choices: Forget, or Abdicate. Turns out, Liz is around 300 years old, and everytime she makes her way up to the Tower, she chooses to forget, have herself wiped, and get rejuvenated so she thinks she's a new Queen. It's amazing what kind of drama you can create with a couple of tap lights and some stick-on letters, by the way. All the CGI in the world, and $20 at Hobby Lobby can create an episode's worth of dramatic tension.

Now here's part one of the "This Doctor is fucking nuts" theory. The Doctor starts going all ranty, mad at being put in this situation of having to choose between the Star Whale and the Starship UK. Similar to his raving at the end of "The End of Time", btw. He prepares to lobotomize the Star Whale, allowing them to continue to use it as an engine without the beast feeling any more pain. He also rails at Amelia for choosing to forget, which seems a little harsh. New Companions just take some breaking in, I guess. In the end, however, it's Amelia who flashes through a realization montage, and uses Liz's hand to push the "Abdicate" button. As it turns out, the Whale volunteered to save the people of Britain because it couldn't stand to see the children die. Even with all the pain it's been caused, the love it has for children was enough to keep it on its mission of mercy. Back on the TARDIS, The Doctor gets a phone call from Churchill, and we see...a Dalek? Buh?

Oh, and there's a crack on the ship, similar to the one from Amelia's house.

And that brings us to:

Victory of the Daleks.

Amelia has managed to find some clothing, thankfully, and they've arrived in the midst of the London Blitz, in which the Germans were making bombing runs on London before we got involved in WW2. History lesson over, and I probably got at least one thing wrong. Anyway, some convenient German planes arrive just in time for Churchill to show off his new toy, which lasers the planes right out of the sky. What is it? What could it be? Well, last week's preview and the title of the episode kinda give it away. Yep, it's a Dalek. All painted up in olive drab and with a little Union Jack decal on it. How adorable. Predictably, The Doctor flips his shit and starts screaming to everybody, including the Dalek himself.

According to Churchill (and by the way, I still have no consistent opinion on the actor who played Churchill...just keep wavering), the Dalek is an "Ironsides" invented by a friendly scientist who also has some ideas about gravity bubbles and other fun superscience gizmos. We get a few minutes of The Doctor and Churchill arguing over whether the Daleks are too dangerous to trust, vs whether using them as a means to an end (defeating the dirty Germans) is worth saving lives. Finally, The Doctor goes on Loud Shouty Rant #8 of the episode, getting right in the Dalek's face, and screaming "I am The Doctor, and you are the Daleks, my greatest enemy" (i'm paraphrasing because I lost my notes for this episode). The Dalek does the equivalent of high-fiving itself, crowing "Testimony accepted", and going all "Hells yes, we're the Daleks". The science nerd goes on about how he created the Ironsides, but the Dalek zaps his hand right off (I am your father), showing that he's actually a robot created by the Daleks as their own cover story. The Daleks take off for their Dalek ship that's hiding out in space. The Doctor hops in the TARDIS and follows. Action Doctor!

The Daleks get ready to zap the Doctor, but he pulls out the self destruct for the TARDIS, your classic Mexican Standoff. The Daleks needed the Doctor's testimony because they have a sample of original Dalek genetic material, but the Doctor's word is the only thing that will make the OG Daleks recognize the knockoffs as "real" Daleks. The Doctor can't stop them, and they have another gun in this standoff; overriding the lights in London and giving the Germans a clear shot at all the really good targets. Meanwhile, the EZ Bake Oven goes off, and six shiny new Daleks (in all the new Power Ranger colors) roll out and exterminate the old and busted versions of themselves.

Also, I would pay any amount of money for a voice modulator app that made me sound like a Dalek. I would use it for EVERYTHING.

Okay, so we have new Daleks, a new Doctor, and oh yes, a new Companion in danger of being shelled. To save her, The Doctor gets the kids back on Earth to refit some fighter planes with some of that fancy new technology, and they make strafing run in space to try and take out the "Take over the lights" beam coming from the Dalek ship. The Doctor manages to shut down the shields, and the lights go back off in London Town. The Daleks figure out that the self-destruct device is actually a cookie (a jammy dodger), which I TOTALLY CALLED. Only because I love those kinds of cookies though. The Doctor is ready for the good guys to blow up the Dalek ship, taking out the last of the Daleks, but they have one last secret: a doomsday corridor (seriously, I love the confluence of British words and scifi terms) that powers the robot scientist. If The Doctor lets the Daleks die, then Earth gets blowed up. The Doctor, wait for it, isn't happy about making an impossible choice between getting rid of his greatest enemy, and wiping out humanity.

The Doctor makes the right choice (as we are still here), and heads back to deal with Mr. Bomb. The Doctor tries to make him remember the humanity that the Daleks programmed into him as a way to counter the detonation, but he's only partially successful. It's Amelia (remember this) who is able to complete the process by having him remember love, not pain as The Doctor tried to do, and the pain of that love is what causes him to seize the humanity within and reverse the process of exploding.

The Daleks escape, London will survive, and the scientist has a chance to go back home and look up the girl he fancied all those years ago (but not really, but yeah really). Churchill picks The Doctor's pocket for the TARDIS key, but Amelia's Kiss-o-Gram training allows her to see it. Foiled again, Churchill! Oh, and there's another crack. That'll come home to roost.

Okay, so two episodes down, with very similar themes. This Doctor needs help both times from Amelia in order to provide a dose of humanity and solve a problem. This Doctor likes to throw tantrums. This Doctor is frustrated by difficult choices. Where have we seen this before? Well, it happened right after four knocks, back in the finale of the David Tennant run. My theory; Tennant's rage at having to leave so soon because of his need to save human lives has held on and lodged deeply into his next regeneration. His last line "I don't want to go" is echoing inside his own brain, and manifesting itself in anger and frustration. This Doctor is in need of some saving, and Amelia is looking to be the one to do the job. Will this be a torrid Doctor/Companion love affair? Possible, although part of me hopes not. Still, it is a new way to explore The Doctor Who mythology, so why the hell not?

Next week (by which I mean, this week), the return of the creepy angel statues from "Blink", possibly the greatest episode of Doctor Who ever. Good return, or once too often to the well? We'll find out together. Well, some people have already found out, but I'm just going to wait for Saturday, so no spoilers, plz.

Lost! Live!

2010-05-04T19:55:00.003-05:00

Turned in my final script today, so I'll have the time to catch up with a lot of television. Doctor Who has been burning a hole in my brain, trying to get out. Tonight though, another very special live-review of Lost.

We have four episodes left (with the final episode being a two hour behemoth), and things are heating up, but not quite at that boiling point. There wasn't an episode last week, so anticipation is high. Let's get right into it:

Alterna-Locke is waking up, perhaps with an intact spine? Jack asks about Locke's original spinal injury. Oooh, Locke's a Candidate? Nope, just a candidate. For boring old experimental spinal surgery. But Locke says no? Hey, is that Katey Segal? It doesn't look like her. I guess Sons of Anarchy takes up ones time.

Jack's on a boat! He's on a boat! He's on...Hydra Island? The rest of the Losties get herded to the polar bear cages. Sawyer gets the drop on one of Team Widmore, and gains one rifle. Widmore points a gun at Kate, and reveals that he's only interested in the Candidates; that Kate is expendable. Widmore says something, and I miss it :( I need a TiVo.

Hey, it's Bernard! Doing dentistry! Jack's digging up some dirt on Locke. Alterna-Locke. And the 815-ness continues. And Anthony Cooper was the mystery other man in Locke's mystery accident.

Sayid's telling Jack about the aftermath of the missile attack. The rest of Camp Smokey bailed or got themselves dead, so it's down to Sayid, Jack, and Not-Locke now. Not-Locke's ready for a rescue mission...which of course ends on the plane. And off the island. Not-Locke threatens to kill Jack and the other Losties...or at least lets Jack know in no uncertain terms that he can if Jack doesn't help him.

Back in the cages, Sawyer is pissed. And lets Kate know about her crossed out cave name. Aww, and Sun and Jin are having a moment. It's about damn time. Oops, there go the lights. Dharma didn't pay the bills? Oh Hurley, you are such the optimist. Aaaaaand here comes the Smoke Monster. Kate reaaaaaaaches for the cage key, but Jack shows up to grab it and unlock the door. And Lapidas was soooooo close to kicking it open, all cool and stuff.

Jack says he's not meant to leave the Island. Definitely drinking the Kool-Aid. And Sayid pops in, after his good job of disabling the generators. Should have known.

Oh hey, here's Alterna-Jack looking for Anthony Cooper. This is seriously freaking me out if this really is Katey Segal. I just don't think it is though. Gah! Oooh, Cooper is a vegetable.

Not-Locke approaches the plane, and can't be stopped by mere bullets! He snaps a couple necks, and steals a watch? A watch? Laughing at the Gilligan's Island-style stairway to the plane. Locke goes all Steven Seagal and finds a buh. No, not a buh, a bomb. Well, I'm assuming it's a bomb anyway. The Losties also make it to the plane, and Lapidas is happy to finally have something to do. Sawyer "son of a bitch"'s his way past the dead plane guards. Yep, it was a bomb. I win. Now Smokey wants to take the sub instead of the plane. Hurley brings up the excellent point that SMOKEY SHOULDN'T LEAVE THE ISLAND. Smokey gathers the troops to go after the sub, leading to...yes, more walking. Sawyer drops back with Jack and asks him to help make sure that Smokey doesn't get off the Island. Ahh Sawyer, always plotting.

Back from commercial, and Jack is back with Alterna-Locke. Did he just say "Push the button?" Oh hey, and there's Claire. Aaaaaand an Apollo bar. Claire inherited a mystery box. And this Jack has found another 815'er. The mystery box is a music box, although I don't recognize the tune. Jack invites Claire over to stay with him. Familiar bond? Or Gathering?

Back on the Island, and they're already to the sub. This season is not fucking around with a lot of walking anymore. Sawyer's Eleven (or Dirty Dozen) heads out to the dock and infiltrates the sub. Sawyer makes it to the captain, and the rest of the gang heads to the dock. Jack knocks Not-Locke into the water. Shooting occurs. Kate takes one in the shoulder from some hidden tree sniper. Locke shoots a lot more of Widmore's people, although being damp is probably making him cranky? Sawyer locks the sub up with Claire and Locke outside, then tells Lapidas to shove off. Claire is sad to be left out of the party, but Locke tells her that she doesn't want to be on that sub. Oooh, sneaky. Locke left the bomb in Jack's backpack. With less than four minutes to go before it blows. Tension!

Jin tells Lapidas to surface, while Sayid takes a look at the bomb. Looks like they can't surface in time. Jack goes into "Candidates are immortal" mode. Jack's new theory: Locke can't leave until the Candidates are dead, and he can't kill the Candidates on his own. Jack asks Sawyer to trust him one more time. Then they do the old "pull the wires and make the timer countdown faster" trick. Sayid grabs the bomb and takes one for the team, big time. I don't think Widmore is getting his deposit back on that sub now. The sub is filling with water fast, and the ladies are in big trouble. Hurley is tasked with saving Kate, and the rest of the menfolk stay to help Sun out from under a plot device. A heavy one, too. Sawyer gets knocked out, and now it's looking real bad for Sun. Guess we'll find out which one was the Candidate, huh? Jack makes it out with Sawyer, and now I'm going to be sad, as at least one Kwan looks to be dying here. Oh snap, looks like both. They profess their love and have one last makeout as the sub slowly sinks to the bottom of the ocean. Sad Lost music plays, as we see their hands drift apart under the water. And black.

Break for sadness.

And back to the hospital, Jin passes by Locke as he's being wheeled out. Jack comes up to say goodbye...and meddle, I'll wager. Ahh, Locke's accident was in a plane crash this time, a plane that Locke was flying. So the wheelchair is penance in this reality. Jack throws out a "what happened, happened", and advises Locke to let go of the guilt. Jack claims that he can help Locke, and wishes he believed him. Locke just rolls off.

Jack drags Sawyer out of the water, and Kate and Hurley are okay too. Hurley breaks down at the news that Jin and Sun are gone. Jack weeps at the ocean. Locke knows that not everyone died on the sub, and now he's off to finish what he started. And end.

Next week: Backgammon! L'il Jacob! Adult Jacob! Man in black! And?

See you in a week. Doctor Who, I swear, is next on my list.

Community

2010-04-29T06:24:00.003-05:00

And nothing but Community. Last week, it finally came back, and with an Abed episode! Abed is money, but the kind of money you spend sparingly, so as not to draw the attention of the IRS. I don't know where i was going with that metaphor now. Anyway, a lack of chicken strips (thanks to that thieving Starburns) spurs the gang into action, installing Abed as fry cook and building up a network of favors in exchange for sweet sweet chicken strips. Abed's position and careful planning causes him to supplant Jeff as the head of the study group (as their family became a family...in italics). Power goes to their heads, however, including Pierce's entourage and Annie's Boobs...which is the name of Troy's monkey (and a gag that never stopped being funny). They even gave Annie's Boobs its own Twitter account: www.twitter.com/anniesB00bs

Abed and Jeff share a moment (but not a Very Special one), and then share a plate of chicken strips, Sixteen Candles style. The humor isn't in Abed's stream of pop culture references (well, they're funny, but keep reading), it's in the lengths that the show goes to pay off the references, as well as the obvious love that the writers have for these pieces of our past. They aren't just referencing them for the sake of saying the words, they are using them as the cultural shorthand that they have become for members of a certain (i.e., mine) age group.

Next up, catching up on more of what I missed on my trip to Jersey, as well as some Doctor Who.

If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with

2010-04-21T06:13:00.002-05:00

I'm just going to type a little about House, since this is the part that shows up on Facebook (hi, Facebook!), and I hate giving Lost spoilers. Like how Sawyer is really a velociraptor.

House "Lockdown" aired a week or three ago, but it was on Hulu, and I likes me some House. I guess this was their version of a bottle episode, as the hospital is on lockdown due to a missing baby. This gives us some wacky mismatched pairings, in the form of Taub/Foreman and Wilson/Thirteen, then Chase and Cameron locked in a room (oh, how sitcom-y), House in with a terminal patient, and Cuddy left to solve the Case of the Missing Baby.

Taub/Foreman was funny, as they both pop a couple of Vicodin to "feel like House" for a few hours, then wind up doing records room shenanigans, before reading each others files and doing the whole "I wish I was you/No, I wish I was you" gag.

Wilson and Thirteen play a game of Truth or Dare, where Wilson's relationship with House is examined for the hundredth time, Wilson breaks into a cash register, and Thirteen has to flash her boobs to Taub. Oh, and did we get a first name there?

Chase/Cameron was the meat, and it wasn't that meaty at first, but we finally get some truth and maybe some closure to the two of them. Good acting from both, and it's nice to see Cameron back, although it's likely a one shot deal (he said, as people who have seen the most recent two episodes are probably giggling at me).

Cuddy finds the baby.

And finally, we get another iteration of House dealing with his own issues through those of a patient. I dug the consequences of the 19/20 cases that House doesn't take, and how casually he mentions that most of those people die. Even the best in the world can't help everyone. The rest was standard stuff for the show.

Honestly, I enjoyed the episode for the change of pace, but there wasn't any bombshell dropped. Good character moments all, though.

Okay, now for Lost.

This was an episode about gatherings. Technically, this is one of those "move the pieces around the board" episodes, like a game of Starcraft or something, but more than that, it was about getting our Losties back with each other, after separating them for much of the episode. And if there really is something special about our Candidates, then getting them this close together is going to allow for some serious stuff to go down soon. We start off where we left off, Hurley bringing Jack, Sun, and Lapidas to Locke's camp. Jack confronts Smokey, who freely admits who he is, and thanks Jack for bringing Jack's body with him, so Smokey would have someplace to stay. Which is also how he was Jack's dad. Question answered, internet!

Alternate Locke is in an ambulance with Ben, and arrives at the hospital just as Sun and Jin do. See! Gatherings! Sun doesn't seem happy to see Locke though, freaking out and saying "It's him". Looks like lack of language isn't the only thing starting to bleed through for our special few now.

Claire talks to Jack, and let's him know that he's firmly with Locke now, whether he meant to or not, because Jack let Locke talk to him. That seems to be another theme of this season, that once Smokey talks to you, you're under his spell. Remember this phrase: "You're with him now".

Sawyer and Hurley, a pairing I have missed greatly. Sawyer lets Hurley know that Sayid has gone to the dark side, but you never give Hurley a Star Wars metaphor, because he'll just say that people can be turned back from the dark side...you know, like Anakin.

Sawyer: "Anakin?"

Ahh, missed you two. Oh, and we're back to Alternaworld, with Det. Ford and Kate. And Miles. And apples? And Sayid caught on tape...he's a jabonie?

Back to the Island; Zoey comes in with an ultimatum: Give back Desmond, or missiles go kablooey in their camp. Locke is unimpressed with the threat, and rounds up the gang to move to the boat and go to Hydra Island to take the fight to Widmore. He sends Sawyer to pick up the boat and sail it to the rendevous point, but he instead tells Jack to gather the cool kids and meet him at another dock for some subjacking and escapery.

Alternaworld again, Desmond bumps into Claire (bumps into...riiiight) at the adoption agency, which is on the same floor as Desmond's lawyer buddy...who is Ilana! Oh hai! Missed you since you got all blowed up. Turns out she's been looking for Claire because

Oh hey, back to the Island. Locke sends Sayid to whack Desmond. Desmond's all "why are you gonna kill me, brother?", and Sayid's all "Cause Locke said he'd give me Nadia back". Moral ambiguity!

Back to Alternaworld, I'm getting whiplash. Methinks the shorter intervals might be meant to imply that the walls between these realities are getting thinner and thinner. Anyway, Miles and Sawyer team up to catch Sayid (who gets tripped by a hose? Seriously?).

Island: Locke goes back to find Sayid, Jack grabs the Breakfast Club and head to the boat, Claire sees them and follows.

Alterna: Jack meets Claire, but before he can emote, he gets paged for a hospital emergency. GATHERINGS!!!

Island: Jack and Sawyer have a heart to heart. Jack doesn't think it's time to leave, Sawyer doesn't give a damn about mystical Island crap, he's getting himself a sub and getting home. Sawyer pulls an Air Force One and tells Jack to get off his damn boat...and Jack does. Right into the water.

Alterna: Sun wakes up, her and the baby are fine, and Jin is happy. Life's pretty good if you're a Candidate, huh? Jack walks by on his way to do some spine operating, and notices that his patient is (all together now, kids) Locke!

Island: Sawyer's gang makes it over to Widmoreville, Sun and Jin are finally reunited (which might have been more powerful if they hadn't been together all the time in Alternaworld, but still nice to finally see) (oh, and Sun knows English again now), then Zoey and the rest of the henchmen tell Sawyer that the deal is off. Jack swims ashore, and Smokey walks up with the rest of his expendable pals. Missiles start flying all over the place, and Locke picks up Jack and carries him to safety. What's the last thing Locke says to Jack? "You're with me now". And scene.

So we've got Jack isolated from the pack and with Locke, everybody else is with Widmore, and the hospital seems to be the locus for whatever's going to happen on the Alternaworld side. The end is getting closer and closer, and now that everybody is getting closer together some serious shit's about to go down.

Back in seven for more Lost.

How I Met Your Esposito

2010-04-20T06:51:00.002-05:00

Kicking things off is How I Met Your Mother. Last night's was totally a Ted episode, which has been sorely needed, especially after last week. The more I mulled over the last episode, the less I liked it (although I'm still a sucker for a monkey). This time around though, we start off with AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ANGELA PETRELLI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, calmer. It's the actress, but now she's Ted's mom, and she's getting remarried to the perfect living stereotype of New Age hippie nonsense. At the wedding, Ted is bummed out that his mom has essentially lapped him, entering her second marriage while he is still waiting for his first. Skipping out on the toast (which is understandable after Clint's 12+ minute epic song), he disappears for 72 hours, and comes back a homeowner.

And it is the worst house ever, although I loved Barney's line about "Was it difficult to negotiate with the Blair Witch?". While Uncle Ruckus (no really, he does the voice on the Boondocks, seriously) inspects the house, Ted and the gang sit around and talk about feelings. Well, Barney talks more about Robin's feelings, as he won't stop telling people how she teared up at Clint's song. Except she didn't, it was Barney. Because he was sad about the time he made out with Ted's mom. Maybe. And he maybe got to second base. And his penis may be enormous.

Also, we get a new Marshall bit, where he tells a story of a stupid decision he made in his past, and the gang have to guess whether he was drunk, or a kid. Lily's dad should make that one into a board game, then bundle it with "Slap Bet!". After an epic (well, not so much) sledgehammer session, Ted still decides to keep the house, and in a nice montage, we see the torn-up wall become the same wall we see every week as Ted tells his kids this epic story. Very nicely done scene, and as such, the episode didn't even need a tag before the credits. The story of the house is a great insight into Ted (although nothing we didn't already really know), and a tangential take on the central mythology of the show. The Ted that bought this house is the Ted that stole a blue French Horn for Robin, and who will likely do something else impulsive to finally get The Mother...which should happen ANY TIME NOW!!! DO IT!!!

Okay, I'm better. Let's move on to Castle.

The highest compliment (and it is a compliment) that I can pay this show, is that I can't think of any other show on television that could pull off this storyline, and any cast that could walk the line between the levels of emotion pulled off in the episode. We get Flirty Beckett (with Demming, the new cop in town), Wacky Castle (seriously, between his Old Timey poker outfit {and Alexis' matching one...adorable], and his facial expressions through most of the episode), and Ultra Serious Esposito (with a cameo of Serious Ryan), this was a chance for most of the cast to stretch new muscles, especially Jon Huertas, who really stole the show this week. The case had a much smaller suspect pool, and thus the plot was tighter and kept you guessing until the end.

Esposito's arc with his dead partner, who turned out to be his alive/crooked partner, who then turned out to be his still-a-good-guy partner was some great writing coupled with great acting. Was that Jim Cramer as the crime boss? If so, good work from him. It was a better acting job than the one he does when he tries to convince people that he knows anything about the market, that's for sure *rimshot*. Ryan didn't have much to do, but he made the most of two scenes; the quasi-physical comedy of he, Esposito, and Castle swiping Demming's cell phone, and then the more serious scene he had with Esposito near the end of the episode. The concept of partners has been explored a lot on cop shows, and with Castle/Beckett many times on this show, but that one scene emphasized it without belaboring the point, a hard trick to pull off.

Speaking of Demming, I hear he'll be around for a while, and this third wheel in the Castle/Beckett relationship will likely drive the last few episodes of this season; possibly continuing into next year. The two played well together in their scenes this week, so he looks to be a good (temporary?) addition. Meanwhile, I feel inspired to check out some more Jon Huertas and pick up Generation Kill, the HBO miniseries he was in a couple years back.

Next up, LOST, then a big update next week, since I'll be out of town for the return of Thursday comedies, and the next Doctor Who.

Doctor Who Was David Tennant Again?

2010-04-19T06:13:00.002-05:00

Okay okay, Matt Smith hasn't achieved that level yet (and never will in the eyes of some fans), but the kid had some massive shoes to fill, and this weekend he at least showed that he knows how to tie a bow.

By the way, I'm going to be recapping these episodes regularly (he said, as FlashForward cries in the corner), and I'll be delving into spoilers, so if you haven't seen the episodes yet, this is your warning.

So when last we left, the Tenth Doctor (the dreamy David Tennant) had saved the world from The Master, the Time Lords, and the return of Gallifrey (home planet of the Time Lords) and all the horrors of the Time War. Then he took a lethal dose of radiation in order to save a simpleton (as he railed against his own nature, knowing that he couldn't let the man die), then got to go on a fanservice field trip (and I mean it in the kindest way possible; it really was a nice coda to his run on the series), followed by regeneration in the TARDIS. The final episode of the Tennant run is worth watching if you missed it, just for his heartwrenching delivery of his last line, "I'm not ready to go". Then up pops young Matt Smith, the Eleventh Doctor.

The opening of the episode is very slapstick, but there's just something earnest in Smith that makes it not only tolerable, but highly enjoyable. Going through his inventory (legs, ears, quite a chin) was fun, as was his "I'm a girl!" when checking out the hair (and that is quite a mop on him). Still not a ginger, however. For whatever reason, his violent regeneration has fucked up the TARDIS, but good, and so he is spiraling out of control at the end of "The End of Time". Tonight's premiere, "The Eleventh Hour", has him clinging to the doorway of the TARDIS as it spins around through the London skyline, finally hauling himself in just in time to crash land in a little girl's backyard.

This little girl, Amelia Pond, has a crack in her wall, and sometimes she can hear the wind coming through it. She wishes for help, and it arrives...and smashes her shed all to hell. The scene where the Doctor climbs out of the TARDIS via grappling hook sells the immense inside of the craft (plus the swimming pool bit was an inspired bit of physical comedy). All the Doctor can think about, however, is needing an apple. Then, in a scene which is sure to be divisive, we flash through a montage of the new Doctor testing out his new body by trying to decide what he wants to eat, involving a lot of shots of him spitting out food. I loved the line "You're Scottish...fry something". He settles on fish fingers and a massive bowl of custard, and young Amelia tells him about her crack. Turns out that it's a crack to an interdimension prison, and Prisoner Zero has escaped. The Doctor runs to the TARDIS and tells Amelia to pack, he'll be back in five minutes. When he comes back, six months have passed, Amelia is gone, and he gets knocked out by a policewoman wielding a cricket bat. Okay, not a policewoman, she's a Kiss-o-gram. Oh, and it's been more than 6 months, it's been twelve years. Oh, and it's Amelia all grown up. Oh, and she's hot. Yeah, I'm shallow like that.

So Prisoner Zero is out, and scary looking, and the aliens that had him imprisoned want him back or dead badly enough to lock the Earth in a forcefield and broadcast that they are going to flash fry the planet unless they get him back, which gives our new Doctor around twenty minutes to save the planet, and his TARDIS is out of commission for repairs. No sweat, right? The Prisoner is also somehow able to take the form of nearby coma patients, making it harder to find. Luckily, Amelia's nurse boyfriend has been taking photos of the patients, in order to prove to his boss that he's really seen them walking around. The Doctor hacks his way into a global chat session of all the geniuses of the world. This part threw me a little, since I thought the Doctor was pretty well known by now, at least by several important people (and, you know, Torchwood), so having to toss out the answers to several scientific mysteries in order to prove his bona fides seemed unnecessary (plus will the ramifications of those revelations be addressed?).

All of this leads to the showdown: The good Doctor has managed to write and distribute (with the help of the chat room genii) a virus that will set all of the world's electronic devices to read 0, a signal for the aliens. The phone also contains all of the guises that Prisoner Zero has been able to take the form of, allowing the alien cops to find and recapture it. Ahh, but P-Zero has one last trick up its hypothetical sleeve: the ability to reach into Amelia's head and take the form of...The Doctor.

Quick aside, for the 12 years the Doctor has been gone, Amelia (well, Amy, so I'll start calling her that) has been obsessed with the Doctor, and convincing people that he was real. Thus, his image, and her child self with him, is burned into her brain enough for the prisoner to take their form. The Doctor is able to reach Amy's subconcious and get her to remember the true form of the Prisoner, that she had seen earlier in the episode. The aliens get their man, the Earth is saved, let's all go home.

Except, not so much. See, the Doctor so far has been freewheeling, a little gawky, basically still getting used to his own form. Not quite serious at all, especially once he starts stripping (and Amy enjoys the show) out of his raggedy old Tennant outfit and liberating new duds from the hospital's locker room. He goes to the roof and has himself a good old fashioned "Come to Jesus" meeting with the Giant Space Eyeball, and basically says "Guess what, I'm the new sheriff in town, Earth is under my jurisdiction, don't threaten it or I swear by my pretty bonnet, I will end you". Great visual of some of the villains of the show's past, followed by a montage of the last ten Doctors, then Smith walking through the projection to stare the aliens down. Could have been corny, but instead was chill-inducing.

And Earth is safe, the TARDIS is fixed (and awesome), and Amy is the new Companion. All is right with the Doctor Who universe, right? Well, until we pan through Amy's room, and her collection of drawings and homemade dolls of her and the Doctor, then in the last visual, a wedding dress. This looks to be a very interesting take on the relationship between Doctor and Companion, similar but different to the Doctor/Rose relationship (the one that helped win over a lot of fans, and made this past run of the show so damn good).

I'm excited about this new run, and new episodes go up on Fridays on BBC America. The show is a couple episodes ahead on British TV, and are available online, but I'll likely stick to watching them live on Fridays, and then recaps should be up on Monday.

Next up, hopefully a new HIMYM, then Lost/Castle, and then the Thursday comedies should be back on this week. We're making the run towards season finale season, then we'll have to see what the summer holds. Excitement!

Great Castle, Greaterer Lost

2010-04-14T06:00:00.002-05:00

Holy crap Lost...just...holy crap. But enough about you, let's talk about Castle.

After last week's lackluster episode, Castle bounced back hardcore with "The Late Shaft", a nice mystery that also managed to skewer about three or four different talk show stories of the last few years, and give a little shirtless Nathan Fillion...for the ladies.

Castle is a guest on the Bobby Mann show, played by "Dancing With the Stars (and Kate Gosselin)" host Tom Bergeron. Next thing you know, Bobby is dead, and no one but Castle thinks it was anything but murder. One set of tox screens (and a lot of owed favors) by Lainey later, and it turns out that it was...probably murder. Murder by MAOI inhibitors that were triggered by balsamic vinegar, hidden in cranberry juice. Yes, really. I'm going to just assume that the science is correct, because the alternative is some weird "hey, you got your salad dressing in my bladder infection cure" scenario that none of us want to contemplate. The game is afoot, and they begin unraveling the tangled web of crime. For the record, I had the case solved about halfway through...which I suppose is the point. Meanwhile, Castle is nailing his couch-mate from the talk show, a lovely lady who it turns out is just banging him to try and get the Nikki Heat role in the Heat Wave movie. And oh man, I can't wait for that to enter the show (probably Season 4). They do the usual "banter our way through every other suspect before solving the cast" routine, and it turns out that it was the sidekick that dunnit. One hates to see a second banana go rotten. *ducks thrown shoes*

And now for Lost. Pardon me for a second:

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, I'm better now. So tonight's episode "Everybody Loves Hugo" is one of my favorite flavors of Lost; a Hurley episode. Kicking us off is a slide show of Hurley's Alterna-life, followed by Marvin Candle (aka, Miles' dad) giving Hugo a Man of the Year award for financing a new paleontology wing. Go Hurley! Afterwards, Mama Hurley sets up Hugo on a blind date, since ladies aren't exactly falling all over him. Okay, suspension of disbelief time: There's no way a rich guy isn't getting a few gold diggers throwing themselves at his wallet. Back to the story.

Back on The Island, there's a sweet scene with Hurley sticking a flower in Libby's grave, and talking to her. Well, not "to" her, since she's one of the few dead people to not come back and yell at him. But you know who is here to yell at him? Michael!!! Nice to see you! And spooky title card.

Back at Spanish Johnny's (the most generic name for a Mexican restaurant ever), Hurley is plowing through chips. Rosalita doesn't show, but guess who does? Libby! Everybody gets a trip back to Hawaii! Libby is still crazy, and she claims to remember Hurley from somewhere. After last week, I'd have said "still crazy", but since Desmond can walk between worlds, I'm ready to believe anything. Libby gets put back in the crazy people van, and...

We're back on the Island. Ilana's got some dynamite (which Michael warned Hurley about, but what can you do?), but she pulls an Arzt and blows herself up real good. Poor Ilana, just when I'd remembered her name too.

Over at Locketown, Locke tells Sawyer that they have to leave The Island together, the same way they came back, which means they need to assemble Hurley, Jack, and Sun before they can fly the Anjira plane out of there. Sayid comes back from his kidnapping mission, and brings Locke over to where he's got a surprisingly calm Desmond tied to a tree. The two talk, and Locke unties Desmond because Desmond's "got nowhere to run to". A man without a country, to be sure.

Hurley paws through Ilana's stuff (hey, if she didn't want him to look through it, she'd have told him, right?) and grabs her Bag O' Jacob.

And then boom, right back to Alterna-Hugo, who orders a bucket of chicken from TV's Samm Levine! Desmond happens to stop in for some wings and a biscuit. Coincidence???

Oh hey, back to the Island. Ben, in his usual sunny way, rationalizes Ilana's death by saying "the Island was done with her", and speculating what will happen when the Island is done with the rest of them. Good point, and the death toll is likely to rise. More on that later. They make it to the Black Rock, and then wonder where Hurley is. How do you lose Hurley? Ever? All of a sudden, Hurley comes...lumbering, i guess...out of the jungle, followed by the Black Rock going asplode all over the place.

And back to Hugo, who bribes his way into the loony bin for a sit down with Libby. Libby doesn't remember much, but she does remember plane crash...and an island. Spooky. Hurley asks her out on a date, and...

We pop back to Locke and Desmond, just strolling around the Island, no big deal. Oh, and there's that weird kid who might be Jacob, but probably isn't. Unless he is. And he has a big stick.

By the burning remnants of the Black Rock, Richard is pissed, and makes a new plan to try and scavenge explosives from Camp Dharma in order to blow up that plane. Ben's down with going too, but Hurley puts his foot down and says that Jacob wants them to go talk to Locke. Richard asks Hurley to prove that Jacob is really talking to him, and Hurley nuts up and tells Richard that he doesn't have to prove anything to him. You go, Hurley! In the end, Jack, Sun, and Lapidas follow Hurley, while Ben and Miles head back to Dharmaland with Richard. After a lot of walking, Hurley confesses to Jack that Jacob really didn't talk to him, and Jack tells him that he's pretty much done giving orders. Jack is just going to kick back, trust Hurley, and see what happens next. Interesting switch for Jack, who was Mr. Leader back in the day (and for every day thereafter). Amazing what smashing one lighthouse up will do for your demeanor.

So then the creepy whispers start up, and Hurley wanders out on his own to do something about it. Instead, Michael shows up again, and they have a chat about how he and the other spirits are people who can't move on. Ahh, so Libby has moved on, hopefully. He's also very sorry about shooting Libby, which I suppose is nice of him. Dead people are decent people.

Aww, Hugo and Libby are finally getting to have their beach picnic. Hurley is nervous, but Libby's all smooth, and she kisses him, triggering his memories of the Island days. Okay, that's really spooky. Oh, and Desmond is watching them from his car, like a creeper.

Speaking of Desmond, he and Locke finally make it to their destination: an old well. A deep well, one dug by hand because it is so old. How deep is it? So deep, we don't hear Desmond's splash when Locke chucks him down in it. Buh? Apparently this is Locke's way of keeping Widmore away from...from whatever he wants. Poor Desmond.

Desmond...is back in his car, only now he's being all super-creepy at the school where Locke and Ben teach. Ben comes over to make sure Desmond isn't a pedo, and Desmond makes up a story about his boy, Charlie, and how he'll need a school. That lie (or "lie") came awfully easily. He sees Locke wheeling towards the parking lot, and guns the engine. And then calmly plows through Locke. Wow. Locke got airborne there! Ben kneels over a fallen Locke, who is still alive as we cut to black. LOST...

Wow, so shit's starting to get real. Whatever walls are keeping the Island and the Alterna (or Bizarro) World apart are starting to come down, Locke not only has Desmond out of the picture (or is he), but now the Oceanic 5 + Jin are all intact. Richard's off trying to blow up the plane, and Alterna Life is starting to get interesting. Is it a parallel world? A dream state? And just what happens if NotLocke gets off the Island. We are down to a handful of episodes left, and you couldn't pay me to miss a single one. Back in seven days, folks.

Finally

2010-04-13T03:41:00.002-05:00

The long awaited return of How I Met Your Mother has sent me into a tizzy of excitement. Then the episode threatened to make me sad. Then the ended made me all happy all over again. Let me explain:

We start off with Barney telling the story of how he convinced a girl that he was Neil Armstrong and was reverse-aging. They story got him laid, which was deserved. Anyone who can pull that off deserves a reward...IN HIS PANTS. Up top!

So then after a discussion of how much Marshall likes pizza, he reveals that he was mugged. Mugged? In New York? Oh noes! Lily freaks out over the news, and Robin tempts her towards the dark side with a REALLY BIG GUN. Seriously huge. Suspension of disbelief follows, as we cut to Lily at the shooting range, and her arms should have been torn clean off of her body by the recoil from Robin's hand cannon. Marshall, not wanting Lily to get a gun, reveals that he was actually mugged by a monkey. Only Marshall...and the gang goes into the patented "sit around the booth and crack jokes about the situation" scenes, although Barney's suppositions about the involvement of a banana really made the scene. Robin, whose morning show is still the equivalent of watching paint dry (Or like three episodes of Chuck), insists that Marshall come on her show and tell the story. Marshall is forced to reveal to Ted and Barney that the story is a fake that he made up to stop Lily from buying a gun. Of note is the fact that Ted can't tell if Marshall is lying or not.

So we all come together in the end at Robin's show; Ted and his mystery sheet (containing his scale model of the Empire State Building), the creepy doll guy, the bored camera man and his paper airplanes, and of course, the money that may or may not have robbed Marshall. Marshall becomes the ultimate guy in the middle here: If he was mugged by a person, then Lily will buy a gun and Robin loses her journalistic credibility. If he was mugged by a monkey, then the monkey will be separated from his mate, and Marshall will be a national laughingstock. What does Marshall do? Well, he goes home, and no one ever knows what the truth was.

Now, what turns this episode from "Any episode of any sitcom" to "How I Met Your Mother-worthy"? Well, the monkey escapes, grabs a doll, and climbs to the top of the scale Empire State Building, then is bombarded by paper airplanes. A long way to go to set up a joke? Oh yes. Oh hells yes. And that's why I missed you, How I Met Your Mother. <3

Once again: Lost and Castle

2010-04-07T06:02:00.002-05:00

So thanks to college basketball, there has been a dearth of new episodes of my usual shows. However, two shows refuse to roll over and cede their timeslot to sports. I thank you, Lost and Castle.

Castle this week was one of the "Dull case, fun business" episodes that I really have to be in the mood for. In this case, it was a guy getting squished by a gargoyle, which led to a mummified Mayan king and a wacky curse that let's Nathan Fillion be zany, but doesn't really add much to the story. On the other hand, there wasn't much story, so let the zaniness ensue!

The case was a never-ending series of false leads, double-backs, plots within plots, and it almost had me asleep. Castle's antics were much funnier, what with the detectives pranking him hardcore in order to make him believe in the curse. Honestly though, the coffee machine blowing up was over the top, both for the show, and as a believable act by Beckett (and Ryan, and Esposito). Then the story takes an odd serious turn (more of a slight divot), as Castle asks Beckett to take care of Alexis if something did happen to him. Came out of nowhere, and that was a revelation that would have been better suited to a more serious episode, honestly. The case finally comes to an end, and then Beckett gets a Mayan activist (who has conveniently been hanging out in a cell all episode) to tell Castle how to "Reverse the Curse". However, whatever he has to do, happens off-screen. Why?!?! All that, and you don't give him one last bit of physical business to do, as a payoff for an entire hour of boredom? Not a great episode, unfortunately, especially coming off of last week's incredible two-parter.

Lost, on the other hand, was outstanding. People (okay, mainly ladies) looooooove Desmond, and we got all we could handle tonight. We start out with Desmond (aka, last week's "Package") waking up with Zoey tending to him. Widmore comes into the room, and Desmond goes apeshit on him with an IV stand. Widmore needs Desmond for a test, and as we see from the sciencey stuff around (and Angstrom the bunny), it involves electricity. A LOT of electricity. Desmond is the only person to have survived a major catastrophic electromagnetic event (aka, the one that brought down 815 all the way back then), and they need to test him...using big coily things that fried the crap out of the poor redshirt as they were dragging Desmond out there. They toss him in the box (oh yeah, Jin is there, too, not that it makes a difference), and he gets zapped...

And wakes up as Alterna-Desmond! There's Hurley! And Claire! George the limo driver/hooker acquisitionist takes Desmond to see Widmore, whom he works for. And hugs. Desmond has money, a sweet life, and no family. Poor Desmond. He gets to pick up Charlie (squeeeee!!!, said the fangirls) from jail and chaperone him long enough to play a gig with Widmore's son. Charlie heads over to the nearest bar, and the two drink while Charlie asks him about love, and shares a vision he had (probably about Claire) when he was choking on his Bag O' Smack back on 815. They hop in the car, and Charlie grabs the wheel and sends them crashing into the marina (in like ten feet of water, it looks like). Desmond can't save Charlie, but dives back down to try again. Charlie puts his hand on the glass, and Desmond has a flashback to Charlie drowning back in the underwater station (with "Not Penny's Boat" written on his hand). Desmond gets Charlie out of the car, and we join him back in the hospital with a nasty head wound. They pop him in an MRI machine (magnetic resonance, in case you didn't know), and they triggers visions of Penny. He freaks out and bolts to try and find Charlie, running into Jack. Charlie comes flying out of another room, bare ass flapping in the breeze. Charlie tells Desmond that "none of this matters", and that he should look for Penny.

Desmond heads over to the charity ball to break the bad news about Driveshaft to Widmore's wife...Eloise. She seems nonplussed by the news about Charlie, saying (wait for it...) "What happened, happened". Walking away, Desmond overhears Penny's name on an invitation list, but then Eloise flips out when he asks about it, saying he's not ready for her, and to stop looking. Walking away, Desmond is approached by Widmore's son...Daniel Faraday (pianist, not physicist). Woot, I missed him. Faraday (sorry, Widmore...ahh hell, Daniel) talks of love, of seeing Charlotte (not named as such though) and drawing advanced physics equations in his notebook. Ahh, so apparently memories are bleeding through to this dimension/reality/etc. Daniel is afraid that this world isn't supposed to exist, and he has the nagging feeling that he blew up a nuclear bomb at some point to create this world. Lucky for Desmond, Daniel knows where Penny (his half-sister...ooh, who's the mother?) will be...running stairs in an empty stadium (echoes of the past!). Desmond shakes Penny's hand...

And wakes up back in the electric box, back on The Island. He's only been out for a few seconds, and now he's all totally willing to help Widmore with his mysterious project. Seems like Widmore needs Desmond to help set reality straight maybe? Just a guess. Desmond and the gang head out, and make it about twenty paces before Jack Bauer...err, Sayid pops up, snaps a neck, and tells Zoey to run. He tells Desmond to come with him, and Desmond does, just like that.

But wait, there's more. We flash over to Alterna-Desmond, who has come to after fainting from Penny's touch. Interesting. She agrees to meet him for coffee, and he heads back to the limo. He asks George for a whore...I mean, for the 815 passenger manifest, because he wants to "show them something". And we're out.

So, Desmond (who as we all remember, is the Constant) is back in play, and looks to be a very important piece in both timelines. We're really starting to get rolling with only seven more hours of Lost left...ever.

Oh, and next week, we get a Hurley episode, and some Michael! Yeehaw!

Lost and Castle

2010-03-31T06:04:00.002-05:00

As busy as I get, I've never got so much on my plate that I can't pause and talk about two of my favorite shows: Lost and Castle.

Lost up first, since I just watched it, and it's definitely a "Setting the table" episode. This time, we catch up with the Kwans. One's a Candidate, the other is not. Sun is with Jack at the beach, Jin is with Locke and the gang. Both are really tired of not looking for their spouse. Meanwhile, in Alterna-Land, Jin is tied up in a freezer and found by Sayid (in the Sayid episode a few weeks back).

We roll it back to Sun and Jin arriving in LA and having their Bag O' Cash confiscated by The Man. They head to the hotel (separate rooms? lame), where Jin worries about business, and Sun seduces him with some sexy neutral toned lingerie. *cat noise* Martin (guy who shot Ben's daughter/guy who Sayid shot) shows up to collect his watch, and then his money. He takes Jin to the restaurant (which is how he gets into the freezer), and his buddy takes Sun to get the money out of her bank. Oh, but Sun's account has been closed by her dad. Oh, and Martin reveals that the money was Martin's fee for capping Jin. O irony! Sayid does his shooty thing, gives Jin a box cutter (so he can free himself), and leaves. Jin shows up, shoots Martin's friend through the damn eye, and then Sun is bleeding, crying...oh, and pregnant.

Back in the Island, Sun revists her garden from all those years ago, tells Jack to get lost (JOKE!!!), and then Not-Locke comes in to talk to her about how he's got Jin, etc. She runs, whacks her head on a tree, and wakes up forgetting how to speak English. Is there a writer who runs a bootleg subtitle business on the side?

Almost forgot the beginning of the episode: Spooky nightvision stalking of Camp Smokey, followed by everybody getting free neck darts and falling down. Jin gets taken and wakes up in Room 23, where Alex's boyfriend was sitting in the Happy Fun Brainwashing Chair. Liz Lemon tasers him, then agrees to take him to see Widmore.

Ahh Widmore; he got to meet Not-Locke...from the other side of a sonic fence. Psst, just tip the stupid pylons over. Anyway, Not-Locke announces that the Island is now at war. Also, Desmond was in the mysterious locked room on the sub. Chew on that for a week, brother.

Meanwhile, Castle pays off it's cliffhanger in full, Beckett having survived the apartment bombing by jumping in the tub. Castle busts down the door, then they have a cute scene as Beckett refuses to let him see her naked (as all the towels and robes are...well, on fire). They go back to square one on tracking down their killer, and finally get a hit on his name. They head to his Kevin Spacey in Seven apartment (which Castle digs, of course), and almost corner him, but he's just too sneaky. So sneaky, in fact, that he gets the drop on Agent Shaw, and now the ball is in the killer's court. Oh how sneaky.

The climax is a big step in the Castle/Beckett relationship, as Beckett trusts Castle (with a gun, no less!) to be her backup as they go after the killer. Beckett tussles with the killer, and is in peril and at gunpoint when a shot from Castle knocks the gun right out of the guy's hand. Castle, in true Castle fashion, was aiming at the guy's head. Well played. Whether this effects the partnership more (and more importantly, when can we get Dana Delany back?) will be shown in the coming weeks...and in Season Three, which just got ordered by ABC. Heck yes, this is good news. More Castle can only be more awesome.

In other news, watch you some Community. It is quietly becoming one of the funniest, and most solidly put together shows on television at the moment.

Catching Up: The Dramas

2010-03-25T06:33:00.002-05:00

Ahh, so much good television watched, and so few chances to blog about it. Okay, let's tackle these in some semblance of order. First off, Castle.

Castle. I love you Castle. Just when you were starting to get a little fluffy, you turn things up to 11 for the post-Dancing With the Stars crowd. This week's episode was shades of the first episode, with a serial killer obsessing on Castle's books. This time, it's Nikki Heat who is inspiring the killing, and it's important enough to bring the FBI in, spearheaded by Dana Delany (looking nothing like her China Beach days). Castle and Delany instantly hit it off, with Castle bouncing ideas off of her (the way he does with Beckett, awww), and entranced by the shiny FBI toys that she brings along. This serial killer likes to taunt Detective Heat...err, Beckett, and is constantly a step or three ahead of the good guys. The puzzles were excellently done, and some of the softer scenes worked out well (like Castle at Beckett's place). Even better, the incredible cliffhanger ending was really well done, upping the stakes even after I realized what was coming. Also, Beckett in the shower. Well played. Can't wait for next week.

Lost was some good times this week too, taking a short break from the regular Losties and delving into the story of one Richard (sorry, Ricardo) Alpert. In a bold move, most of the episode takes place in 1867 (now that's what I call a flashback!), and follows Ricardo as he loves his sick wife, accidentally kills a doctor, arrives home too late to save her, cannot recieve absolution from a priest (important), gets sold to a boat captain (working for someone named Hanso!), brought about the Black Rock (!), crashes into the Crocodile statue (!!), comes face to face with the Smoke Monster (!!!!, oh, and the encounter leaves his eyes permanently guylinered), and is eventually rescued by...The Man In Black (!!!!!). The MiB gives him the ceremonial Short Sword of Godkilling and sends him off to kill Jacob (with the same "don't let him speak" warning that Dolan gave Sayid). Instead, Jacob goes Chuck Norris on him, then offers him some wine. He explains that the Island is like a cork that keeps evil (in this case, the MiB) from escaping into the world. Jacob doesn't want to directly influence the people brought to the Island (which appears to be test subjects in the battle of good and evil that Jacob and the MiB are playing, but he does recruit Ricardo to be his Agent, working to guide the people who come to the Island. Oh, and gives him eternal life. And a suave haircut, one would think. Finally, Richard buries his wife's cross under a convenient bench.

Back to the future, Richard goes to that bench, digs up the cross, and starts yelling that he wants to join Team Smokey now, but instead finds Hurley. Who is talking to Ricardo's dead wife. They have a well-acted reunion, and Richard is brought back into the fold. However, looking on is...Not-Locke! I enjoyed this episode, stepping out of the current story to give us a boatload of backstory and answer a few questions. I also really look forward to seeing how the metaphor of MiB smashing the wine bottle (the one that represents the shell holding evil inside) rather than remove the cork (aka, the Island). The storyline is chugging along at a good clip, and I am past the point of no return on it.

Burn Notice: I totally forgot that this had ended, so I got on Hulu and watched the finale. This season was a disjointed one, with the overall story not being all that compelling (felt more like a rehash of the Carla storyline), and the team being all weird around each other. They tried to sell us on a darker Michael, but it never paid off...until the last ten minutes of this episode.

Where we begin is with Gilroy freeing "Simon", a mysterious and very bad criminal. Simon turned the tables on Gilroy and blew him up good. We start from there, as Michael has to hoof it away from the Feds and get to a safe place. Before he can get his beloved Charger though, Simon blows up a food cart and draws Michael into an electronics store to deliver some exposition. Long story short, Simon is the psycho version of Michael, and his bad deeds are what they blamed on Michael in order to burn him. Simon wants Michael to deliver "Management" (i.e., Frasier's Dad) to him, otherwise a hotel goes boom. This was a weak part of the story, as it just seemed really obvious that Sam and Fi would take out the bomb, just getting them out of the way. Michael sneaks into his own place, calls Management, and spills the whole plan. While building a bomb, which was a neat scene. The weak part of the story was , once again, Michael's mom. The only good shot she got in was admitting that "taking one for the team" by protecting Michael is her way of making up for his crappy crappy childhood.

So we get our people into place; Management arrives, and Michael realizes too late that he's underestimated Simon. Simon gets away with Management, but Michael steals a truck (and also negates all the "I'm not going to be a line wolf anymore" progress he just made with Sam and Fi, another storyline that's driving me nuts this season) and chases Simon down. The ending has Michael holding a gun to Simon's head, about to pull the trigger. Management talks him (mostly) down, and Simon taunts Michael about how now Management owns Michael. The FBi scoops him up, and then we see him being led through dank hallways, wearing a jumpsuit and manacles, and a hood. The hood and shackles are removed, and he opens his eyes to...a tastefully appointed study...and scene. New episodes in June, so we'll see what happens next. Will his burn notice be revoked? Will he go somewhere that isn't Miami? Three months and counting.

Okay, comedies tomorrow (with luck). Three weeks worth of Community, The Office, and 30 Rock to catch up with.

Updates are coming

2010-03-24T07:39:00.000-05:00

School is hard, but Castle and Lost were both awesome this week. I've got a backlog of shows to write up, should be by the end of this week. I love you, reader(s).

Lost: Recon

2010-03-16T20:05:00.002-05:00

Well, I'm on Spring Break (after an All-Con weekend), so I've got some catching up to do. However, I decided to spend a little time on the beach...the Lost beach.

Sawyer Episode!!! Woot! We start off on the island, Sawyer makes some tea for Jin, sees Kate, and we side-flash to Sawyer running the same con he ran in his flashback. Only this time, he's a cop? And Miles is his partner? And his code word is LaFleur? I'm excited.

FlashForward? For reals? Meh.

Ooh, Kate is watching Claire take care of her creepy bone baby. Locke calls the gang together for one of those "Samuel from Heroes" meetings. He tells them that the black smoke killed the people at the Temple...which is true. Aww, kids love Locke. Sawyer asks Kate about the 815'ers from the Temple. Sawyer ain't with anybody. LONE WOLF!

Detective James Ford, LAPD. I'd watch that spinoff. He's looking for Anthony Cooper, a name that would mean more to me if I remembered Lost better. Miles is setting Saw...Ford up on a date. With a girl. Ford is a dirty liar. At least the Lakers are good in the alternate timeline. Ooh, Locke just admitted that he's the smoke monster. Bold.

Locke is sending Sawyer on a boat to Hydra Island. To find the other plane. For recon. We have our episode title! Sawyer's lying skills are the bomb, apparently. Should be an interesting reunion, sweetened with the idea of Sawyer getting off the island. But is that what he wants?

Ford is meeting his blind date...and...it's...CHARLOTTE!!! Hot! Hmm, Ford is the man who chose cop, Sawyer is the one who chose criminal. Wonder where that choice happened. And hot non-island lovin occurs. For those keeping track, this is twice that Ford has gotten laid and the episode is only twenty minutes old. Charlotte finds the "Sawyer" file while she looks for a t-shirt, and Ford goes nuts. Don't kick her out, she's British!

Back in the Island, Sawyer makes it over to Hydra town, and sees his old polar bear cage. Home sweet home. Who wants a fish biscuit? Kate chats with Sayid, who is not doing okay. Oops pow surprise, here's Claire, and she's having a knife party. Locke keeps his pimp hand strong though, and calms things down. Sawyer finds the plane and investigates the crash zone. Luckily, there's a big coffin shaped trail to follow. Eww, pile of dead people. Or dirtiest sleepover ever. Sawyer chases a running stranger...and it's Velma? Cute girl with glasses anyway...and she's the only one left?

Ooh, looks like Charlie's brother has come to pick him up. Ford comes in to work, and is met by Miles. Ford went to Sydney? Oh yeah, of course he did, duh. Aww, and Miles is breaking up with him.

Velma is Zoe now. Last survivor of her plane pals. Poor Zoe.

Poor Kate, who is crying. Cry Kate, cry. Smoke Locke is a great talker. Samuel could learn a thing or two from him.

Zoe and Sawyer walk and talk. Zoe lies, Sawyer picks it up and draws steel. Oh, and Zoe has friends with guns. Widmore's people?

Locke and Kate have a nice heart to heart on the beach. Smoke monster had a mom? Aaron has a crazy mom too? Catfight? With guns?

Yep, there's Widmore's submarine. Sawyer heads inside...and back to Ford. Beer and orange juice? That's healthy. Little House on the Prairie? And a frozen dinner? Ford takes his beer over to Charlotte's. She blows him off, and he sadly walks away. With his beer.

Sawyer leisurely strolls (at gunpoint) through the sub, and meets up with Widmore himself. Sawyer is making a side deal with Widmore. As is his way. All he wants is safe passage for him and his pals (i.e. Kate).

Interesting how we're getting back to Sawyer in his element: Telling everyone what they want to hear, so that he gets all of what he wants. However, he's done that to Locke before (with the guns), so there's no way this works out for him the way he thinks it will. 8 more minutes to go. Back to the Island.

Kate sadly walks alone, and is stopped by Claire. She seems a little less crazy. And a lot more huggy. Sawyer gets back and is met by Locke. How fast does Sawyer row? Sawyer tells Locke about Widmore after all. Sawyer is betraying Widmore's guys...for now. Betraying Locke likely comes later.

Ford pulls up and invites Miles into his car for a little reconciliation. And he shows him the Sawyer File. Ford's dad still kills his mom and himself, and still because of Sawyer the con man in this reality. And then they get hit by a car? Wha? Ford tackles them, and it's Kate!

Sawyer's filling Kate in on what's up, and reveals his plan: Let Locke and Widmore fight it out, and sneak off the Island with Kate...via submarine. And scene.

And next week, we get the Richard episode. Good times, see you in seven.

This is why I watch LOST

2010-03-10T06:03:00.002-06:00

"The story moves too slow"

"They never answer any of the questions"

"Nikki and Paulo sucked"

"They're just making it up as they go along"

Okay, the Nikki and Paulo thing is valid. Otherwise though, tonight's episode defies all complaints. Why? Benajmin F-ing Linus.

Ever since his first appearance as Henry Gale, Henry Ian Cusick has been elevating Lost with every appearance. Tonight was our "Ben episode", and it was a doozy. Best of the season so far, and when it's all said and done, may be one of the top ten, maybe top five, episodes of the series.

It starts off with Ben alone in the jungle and spotting Ilana (aka Ana-Lucia II), and her merry band of Miles, Sun, and Lapidus. He follows them to the beach where they start cannibalizing the old camp, since the Temple is no longer a safe place for them (being all full of corpses and all). However, Ilana shackles Ben to a tree and makes him start digging his own grave, for what he did to Jacob (Miles being the psychic snitch that he is). Interesting that we finally get a definition of Miles' abilities, as he's only able to tell the dead person's last thoughts and what happened right before their death, and only if he's near the body. Good to know.

Then we jump to Alterna-Ben...excuse me, Dr. Linus, as high school teacher and colleague of new substitute teacher John Locke. Linus feels put upon by the Principal (played by the snooty professor from Real Genius), but what can he do about it? "How about become the principal?", says Old Helpful Mr. Locke. The seeds planted, Linus comes home to his dad, good old Roger Workman, who is old and decrepit, and being taken care of by his good son Ben (instead of being "taken care of" by Island Ben). We get our first hint of new timeline events, as Roger did join the Dharma Initiative and they did go to the Island, but then they left. But why? And I guess Ben never got shot by Sayid? Oh, and here's Alex at the door. An Alex who isn't his daughter, but it his prize pupil. In the course of some extra tutoring, she reveals that the principal is giving the old hot lunch to the nurse, which sets Ben's wheels to turning.

Back on the Island, Hurley and Jack are on their way back to the Temple (although Hurley is trying to trick Jack into taking the long way), when Richard just pops right out of the jungle, and takes them in a third direction. They end up at the Black Rock, where Richard has decided that it's time to die. Jacob gave him immortality in exchange for service (and you said Lost never answers things!), but with Jacob dead and Richard never having been clued in to his grand plan, he's feeling a little emo (which finally explains the guyliner!) and wants Jack to help blow himself up. Jack agrees, but sits down right across from Richard after lighting the fuse, certain that based on the events of The Lighthouse, that Jack won't die. Wow, Jack went from unbeliever to full on drinking the Kool-Aid quickly, didn't he? Well, guess there's not much time to dally now. The fuse fizzles, and Jack's newfound mystical hubris can't be a good thing. Or can it?

Back in the "present", Ben enlists some help in hacking the principals email files, then confronts him with the evidence and his offer: Resign and recommend Ben for the top job, or have his career and marriage destroyed. However, nobody fucks with William Atherton, and he counter-blackmails Ben: He can have his job, but the last thing he does will be to destroy Alex's chances of getting into Yale. Ahh, so now we're coming around full circle: Ben has the chance to save Alex, which he wasn't able to do back on the Island.

And back on the Island, Not-Locke has shown up to offer Ben a chance to escape grave-digging duty and join Locke's Army at the Hydra station. Locke makes a break for it, gets the drop on Ilana, but can't shoot her. Instead, he bares his soul, explaining why he killed Jacob, and lamenting his own failure to save Alex when he had the chance. This is where the episode really grabbed me, as Linus has always been the man who manipulates and conspires in order to fulfill the destiny that he is sure he has: of power, leadership, and respect. All he ever needed to be, however, was a father. His own father tried and failed, and Ben followed in those footsteps. That rage, coupled with a nudge or two from Not-Locke, destroyed his life. In the obvious parallel, Locke's gentle nudge sets up another situation where Ben has the chance to put aside his personal goals in order to save Alex. And, after a quick headfake, we see that without the Island (well, without the current Island), he is able to make the right choice, saving Alex's future. Sacrifice. It is a theme, my friends.

So back on the Island, Ilana tells Ben that she'll have him (after Ben tells her that he's going to Locke because no one else would have him). Seriously, if you haven't seen it, watch the scene (or watch it again). It's a remarkable act of kindness towards a man who has seen so little of it. Ben and Ilana come back to camp just in time for Hurley, Jack, and Richard to show up. The love theme from Lost plays as we have a happy reunion, and it just about destroys me watching Ben's body language as he stands there, alone, as everybody else renews the bonds that they've made. Even if you'd never seen an episode, that scene right there just encapsulates Benjamin Linus. As the hugs and handshakes commence on the beach, a periscope breaches the water. For a moment, I thought Locke had already bailed, but it turns out to be...Widmore. WHOOOOOO!!! Can't wait for next week. Suck it, haters!

Castle: Nice to have an episode that just seemed like an excuse for some witty banter, with the actual crime somewhat on the back burner. Not that it wasn't a bad episode in that respect, we get the usual twists and turns, and some nice subtle things set up in the beginning that set up the end reveal well. The ability to make endless gags about the whole bondage scene though, that was where the episode earned the money. I have the feeling that this show could take the same characters, make them any profession, and still turn out winning episodes. The ensemble is just that much fun. Alexis' cheerleader subplot was harmless enough, and it was just a fun hour of television, so I'll leave it at that and just say "check it out if you haven't already".

How I Met Your Mother: Now this was an episode with layers. It starts out with Barney and this week's Special Guest Star: Jennifer Lopez. Barney wants her taco flavored kisses, but she's playing incredibly hard to get (while Barney is just incredibly hard: Up top!). Turns out, she wrote a book on playing hard to get, AND it turns out that Robin set her on Barney to get back at him for how cavalier he's been about their breakup. What looked like a light fluffy guest start showcase turned into a fairly deep episode about Robin and how badly she took the breakup. There were still laughs though, especially Marshall's "bangity bang bang" song regarding Barney's post-breakup conquests (even better was Ted coming in for a verse, followed by Barney playing the spoons). Ted's eerie "Superdate" song just came out of nowhere, but the Superdate sets up the finale, Barney promising not to nail J-Lo as way of making it up to Robin, then sending her on the Superdate with Don. The breakup of Brobin was very abrupt, and if this is what the writers had in mind all along for the post-Brobin episodes, then kudos to them. This show continues to chart new sitcom ground.

I think I share a birthday with The Office Baby...

2010-03-05T05:58:00.004-06:00

Yes, my birthday was yesterday (thanks for the socks, seriously), and so was the return of Community as well as a special "Must Birth TV" edition of The Office, as well as the mysterious 30 minutes of blank air in between the two. No 30 Rock just yet, but we all get our Alec Baldwin fix on Sunday at the Oscars anyway. So on to the chortles!

Community came back strong, giving us a much-deserved Abed episode. The gang discovers a sketch of Abed in one of their spanish textbooks, and determine that the previous owner has the hots for Abed. Unfortunately, Abed has two versions of himself: The version that doesn't want to talk to the girl, and a vampire. Thanks to the timely intervention of Jeff (who is doing a cross between Paul Newman in "The Color of Money" and Morrissey in 1997), Abed adopts the Winger persona and goes to hit on the girl...who is unfortunately already dating "White Abed". Abed reveals in the end that the girls generally flock to him on their own. His seduction of Annie (as Don Draper, in an exactly-as-subtle-as-it-needed-to-be moment) was the stuff of legends.

Meanwhile, Jeff is embroiled in a clothing imbroglio with Billiard teacher Blake Clark (who is a great stand-up if you get the chance to look up his old act). Jeff wants to dress cool, but the teacher insists on those gym shorts that reveal nothing but ball with almost any possible movement. It all ends in an epic pool match, in which Jeff starts by making shorts cool, and ends with the two men bare ass naked. As funny as that was, the reactions of the cast around them (mostly from the dean taking iPhone pictures of Jeff and Annie unable to take her eyes off of Jeff) made the scene even funnier. This show is seriously knocking it out of the park every week. If you're not watching, then you need to start pronto. If you can watch the brilliant "Bert and Ernie" tag at the end of the episode and not fall in love, then you are some kind of cyborg sent to kill John Connor.

Then this takes us to the one hour Office Baby Spectacular. Part one finds Pam incredibly pregnant, but determined to stay at work until midnight (in order to make their HMO pay for an extra night in the hospital). This is a case where Michael's crackpot schemes almost work, as he gathers everyone in the conference room to take turns distracting Pam. Jim, on the other hand, is getting progressively crazier by the minute. Finally, the contractions are two minutes apart, and they can't wait any longer. It's a girl, and all is well.

Honestly, this episode was all about the details, lines and situations that I can't do justice to. You'll just have to watch the episodes. Some things that stood out: Dwight needs a baby "for business purposes", and the subsequent contract negotiations with Angela; Michael trying to set up Kevin and Ellie, before Andy finally manages to make his move; and general banter between Jim and Pam as two new parents just trying to keep their sanity together. Whether this is the beginning of the end for The Office, or a move that will actually bear fruit, it was still a darn good episode to get us to this new chapter.

By the way, new episodes of Web Soup started this week, keep an eye out for those. Finishing up the season of Burn Notice soon too, and Warehouse 13 is coming back in the summer (woot!).

Robin is a Hooker...also, Lost Live!

2010-03-02T19:21:00.002-06:00

Yep, we're finally back from the Olympic hiatus, and since I'm home sick from work tonight, I'm going to fire off some live thoughts on Lost over the course of the episode. But first:

How I Met Your Mother: Good episode last night, focusing mostly on Ted, but introducing yet another new concept in the HIMYM-verse; that of The Hooker. This is a person who keeps stringing another person along without actually dating them, like a date in a glass case that you can break in case of emergency. While discussing Ted's hook situation, Lily admits that she's had the nerdy cafeteria guy at work on the hook for a while. Aww, poor guy. Ted's Hooker is a pharmacutical rep, which Barney proclaims to be the current "hottest chick profession" (even hotter than stewardess? Or gatherer?). So we get Barney nailing pharma-girls, Ted baking cakes (from a mix!) and giving footrubs, Robin hooking one of the camera guys at work, and Lily unable to let poor Scooter off the hook...maybe it's the tater tots. It all comes to a head when Ted's Hooker (which would make for a good episode title) breaks up with the boyfriend and invites Ted to an out of town wedding. Unfortunately, she's on the hook with the boyfriend (who's in a band!) and Ted is finally able to break the cycle and get off the hook. Nice to see the focus swing back to Ted for an episode, plus we got some funny running sight gags and Teenage Marshall at the end. Speaking of Marshall, his endorsement of Scooter's torch for Lily was funny ("I won't live that long") too. Good episode. Good times.

Oh yes, and the teacup pig.

And now for Lost:

Previously on Lost: Sayid died and came back. Dogan checked him for infection (note, this is what health care will be like under the Republican plan). Dogan tries to get Jack to slip the red pill to Sayid.

And we start with Alterna-Sayid getting out of a cab and showing up the doorstep of his ladyfriend, Nadia. Ooooh, Nadia is married with children. To his brother! Translating oil contracts...boring. Sayid's brother has business...jerk business. Oooh, tag! Picture of Nadia in Sayid's bag? Hopefully he hasn't been going steady with it.

-Temple Sayid busts in on Dogan and demands answers! Get off my plane! Sayid's scale is tipped the wrong way! Like on Celebrity Fit Club! Man, Dogan is one cold motherfucker. He's Asian Shaft. As I'm typing that, he gets all Jet Li on Sayid. Woot, fight fight fight fight! Sayid tumbles over stuff like he's in a 60s Batman fight. Stick fight! Baseball rolls off the table! Dogan...stops? He tells Sayid to GTFO and then holds the baseball like it's his baby.

Claire and Not-Locke! At the Temple! Shit's going down! And title.

Alterna-Sayid gets woken up by his brother after the commercial (or in my case, Texas election results) because he owes money to a loan shark. Ooh, he wants Sayid to do some...Sayid stuff to the guys. Like an episode of Spencer: For Hire!

Sayid and Miles (woot, Miles!) chat over by the salad bar, mostly about Sayid's two hours in Valhalla. Now, here comes Claire with a message for Dogan...who apparently doesn't get to be mysterious Japanese speaker anymore. Claire wants to set up a meeting with Dogan and Not-Locke. Nope, never mind. He's back to Japanese. He orders Claire to go in "the hole".

Dogan takes Sayid back into his office and pulls a mystery box out of some plants. That's where I hide my porn. Not in plants, in Dogan's box. If you look closely, you can see it under the dagger. Dogan tells Sayid to go stabbity on Locke when he sees him next, in order to prove that he's still got some good in his soul. Maybe they can dig up Nikki and Paulo and stab them too. That'd be awesome.

Sayid bonds with his niece and nephew while walking to school. Aww, mommy likes it when Sayid is there. Uh oh...Omar got f'ed up. Sayid goes into badass mode, but Nadia's trying to talk him down.

Now Sayid bumps into Kate. Seriously, how small is this place? Or is it so deserted that you can hear another Lostie from a mile away? Where did Miles find playing cards? Are they Dharma cards? Kate finds out from Miles that Claire is back. And still hot. I agree, crazy chicks have a certain aura of hotness. Like touching a hot plate, but with boobs. Sayid stops for a tasty beverage and then...here comes Smokey! And Sayid stabs him! Holy crapballs! And Not-Locke just pulls it out. Wow.

After the break, Locke gives Sayid the knife back, Because He Is Just That Badass. Not-Locke claims that Dogan set Sayid up by having try to stab Not-Locke. Valid point. Valid and EVIL. Ooh, looks like Dogan sent Sayid out as a messenger. And Not-Locke promises Sayid can have anything he wants in the world.

And then Sayid is gluing a pot/vase back together. Damn boomerangs, ruin everything. Oooh, Sayid pushed Nadia towards Omar. Not good! Sayid doesn't think he's worthy of Nadia because of how much torturing he did, back in the day.

Back to the future (that'd make a good movie title), Sayid returns to the Temple. He delivers Not-Locke's message: Jacob is dead, they don't have to stay at the Temple anymore, and he's leaving and taking anyone who wants to leave with him. Oh, and everybody still at the Temple dies at sundown.

Kate strongarms Julian Lennon and goes to visit Claire, who is singing in the hole in a very crazy way. Kate admits to having Aaron...oooh, that's not gonna end well. Yeah, Claire gives Kate the stink eye. The Temple Others drag Kate away, and Claire yells after her "He's coming". And commercial.

And now the Temple peeps are packing up and heading out. No Jacob, no safety, apparently. Sayid goes to return the dagger to Dogan...

...and some strange guy comes up to Alterna-Sayid and picks him up...and threatens the kids, IN ARABIC!! They take him to a kitchen with a lot of random knives scattered around. I don't think that is sanitary. Oh hey, young Christopher Walken is offering him eggs. A lot. Breakfast is the most important meal of the...afternoon? The loan shark has a nice chat with Sayid about money, and danger, and possibly more eggs. And now Sayid goes all Jack Bauer and offs two henchmen in less than the time it took me to type this. And then he shoots the loan shark, because he is Sayid, and he is badass. From the back, a muffled thumping...and it's Jin! Non-English Speaking Jin!

Now back to Dogan, who is contemplating things by the old Resurrection Hole. Sayid returns the dagger and asks why Dogan keeps trying to have other people kill him. Dogan used to be a businessman in Osaka? I keep forgetting that these people weren't just born here...well, except maybe Ben. Dogan did a little salaryman drunk driving, picked up his son, and got in a wreck.. Well, that's bad. Dogan traded his son's life for having to come to the island, work for him, and never see his son again. Jacob drives a hard bargain...and racks up the frequent flyer miles. Sayid grabs Dogan and they go into the pool! Marco! Polo! Drowning! Ahh, that explains the baseball. Oh snap, and Sayid goes all throat-slice on Lennon too! And here comes Smokey! And here's the Shadow of the Statue folks! Man, everyone's here!

Kate goes to rescue Claire, who doesn't want to go. Kate hops into the hole with Claire while Smoke Monster goes overhead. And here's Ben! I missed you, Ben. Man, Sayid is creepy now. Miles casually mentions to Sun that Jin is still alive. Just missed each other...awww.

What's her name finds the secret passage and they all get inside before Smokey comes after them (by all, I mean Sun, Miles, her, and Lapidas). Kate and Claire tour the wreckage inside the Temple, and Kate immediately goes for a gun. Sayid, Claire, and Not-Locke all give each other creepy looks, then Not-Locke leads a procession of people, Sayid, Claire, and Kate off into the jungle.

And that's it. Ben episode next week, which pleases me greatly. Not-Locke is building a little Legion of Doom now, and shit is getting serious. See you all next week!

I Just Lied To A Samurai

2010-02-24T07:24:00.002-06:00

Ugh, so I like the Olympics, but I hate what the Olympics have done to the TV schedule. Just about everything is in reruns rather than go against the Winter Juggernaut. Lucky for us, Lost fears no such quadrennial behemoth.

And it's a Jack episode! We start out with Alterna-Jack, changing after a day of work and just now noticing his appendix scar. In the "normal" timeline, it came out on the island. In this reality, he had it out when he was a kid (although they wouldn't let his dad do the operation...because he was drunk?). Oh, and Jack has a son. Whaaaaaaa?

Back on the Island, Hurley and Miles are playing a hilarious game of Tic Tac Toe (which I'm sure means something, but the sight of them tossing found objects onto a grid of sticks just amused me greatly), then Jacob's ghost shows up to give Hurley a few honey-do's and tells him to bring Jack along for the ride. Why? Because some people have to find the island, and Hurley's gonna help them.

LOST

Jack and David do some non-bonding. David's copy of Alice in Wonderland is shown, and David seems distracted and...well, like all teenagers. Jack sucks at parenting, and bails to go help mom look for dad's will. Which they find. And it mentions Claire.

Oh yes, Claire. Well, she's gone all Rousseau, complete with the hair, and she's been waging a provate war with the Temple Others because she thinks they have Aaron. She patches up Jin and ties up one of the Temple Others she shot two episodes ago. Later, Claire threatens to go nuts with an axe, and mentions her "friend". And not the creepy baby she made out of bones and fur and who knows what else. As she's about to go all Annie Wilkes on the Other, Jin tells Claire that Kate has Aaron. Claire kills the Other anyway, then comes back later, when Jin tells her that he lied and that Aaron really is at the Temple. Huh? Claire flat out says that if Kate really had been raising Aaron, then she'd kill her. Ooh, future catfight! Oh yes, and Claire's mystery friend is Evil Locke.

Meanwhile, Alternate Jack comes home to no son. After going to his mother's house and doing a little parental P.I. work, he heads to a school where his son is auditioning for some fancy music conservatory. Also, the samurai is there! Small world. Jack and son have a heart to heart out by the bike rack, and now Everything's Going To Be Okay. So I guess they're setting up that Jack's life is going to be fairly kick ass if the Alternate reality becomes/is/whatever the only reality. Foreshadowing!

So that leaves us with Jack and Hugo's Excellent Adventure, complete with a trip back to the Season 1 cave! Hurley espouses another humorous internet theory (that they time traveled again and the bones in the cave are their bones), then Jack finds his dad's empty coffin, which he smashed real good all the way back in the day. They make it to the Lighthouse, and go upstairs so Hurley can do what he needs to do. However, as Hurley adjusts the mirrors (to 108 degrees, naturally), Jack sees a glimpse of his house at 23 degrees (which is the setting marked next to his name...all the markings have names associated with them), then has an Ann Margret freakout and smashes all the mirrors. Jacob pops in at the end to talk to Hurley and explain that this was all for Jack's benefit. For why? Well, there's a finite amount of episodes with which to explain that, and I have a feeling that this is all settling in to be a battle between Jack and Locke for "all the marbles". Good episode though, and I'm liking the way things are going between the two realities.

Oh Holy Crap, Leverage!

2010-02-18T07:09:00.002-06:00

Wow, just wow. As far as season finales go, that was right up there with the greats. Last week, we had the team narrowly escaping from an FBI trap, then the big reveal that Sterling was now on the case. We also had a corrupt mayor and a gunned down cop to deal with.

We start things off with Team Leverage as the focus of a manhunt. Nate figures that the best place to hide is the last place anyone would be looking for them; the hotel where the mayor (aka, FBI snitch) is being kept. The team makes their way into an empty room (thanks to a naked Tara...well played) and Hardison turns the computer checkout system into his own personal hacking station. A couple of nifty cons later, and the team is set up, then makes their move..Let's Steal A Mayor.

Parker in a maid outfit: excellent. Hardison getting tangled up in the rappeling rope: even better. They con the mayor into giving up his arms connection (Paul Blackthorne, who also played Harry Dresden in the way-too-short adaptation of The Dresden Files), thanks to Hardison as a suited thug with a HORRENDOUS Irish accent. Just dreadful. Hilariously so, though.

The team is ready to just turn things over to the pros, but Nate thinks he can still beat the guys involved, so he sends the team off to work while he heads back to the apartment, where Sterling is waiting. Nate left an old drawing of his son's behind, and that's how Sterling knew that he'd come back there. Very sneaky. Sterling offers Nate a deal: help him catch the arms dealer, and Nate walks while the rest of his team gets sent to jail. Not a great deal, but as Sterling points out, he's the only one of them that isn't a thief. Nate appears to mull it over. Meanwhile, Tara makes an ominous phone call. OMINOUS.

Oh yes, and Nate calls Sophie, spilling his guts out to her, only she can't hear him because she's on a helicopter. Great scene, great acting by Mr. Hutton.

Once they start the final con, there are some great moments. Tara, Parker, and Hardison break into the FBI to destroy the evidence that they have on the team. Hardison finds a photo of Tara meeting with the arms dealer, which causes Parker (who already has trust issues) to grab her by the throat and hold her off of a building. That's hardcore Parker right there. Nate and Elliot go on the boat to continue the con of Nate as Mr. Git, only the whole thing almost falls apart when the mayor gets loose and calls the arms dealer. Luckily for Nate, Sophie chooses that time to make her reappearance into the show. Go Sophie! It's about damn time too. Elliot proceeds to take out a whopping thirteen henchmen, then the look that he and Hardison give each other is just priceless as they realize Sophie is on the boat. Everything ends up with the mayor and the arms dealer locked into the boat's cabin together with a cargo hold full of evidence and the FBI on the way. Time enough for a happy reunion with Sophie, who actually gets a hug from Parker (great line from Sophie: "Parker's touching people?"). Tara bails, and the team is about to helicopter away when...Sterling shows up. Nate (who is, by this point, bleeding) cuffs himself to the rail, then tells Sterling all about how he's reversed the deal on him. By destroying all of his evidence against the arms dealer, Nate is the only witness who can help put him away, but only if the rest of the team goes free. They reluctantly go, and as Nate slumps to the deck from his gunshot wound, the FBI agent asks who he is. Sterling tries to play him off as no one, but Nate insists "My name is Nate Ford. And I'm a thief". Pow! There's your season 2 ladies and gentlemen. Sophie is back, Nate has finally come to terms with who he has become, and he appears to like it. Where do we go from here? That is a question for season 3, which had better occur pretty damn quick. I need my Leverage fix, yo.

Thursday coming soon, depending on how the Olympics mess with the schedule.

Lost in a House

2010-02-17T06:55:00.002-06:00

I know, it was lame. However, most shows appear to be in reruns this week, rather than go up head to head against the juggernaut of the Winter Olympiad. However, I was able to scrape together a couple of viewings; tonight's Lost, and last week's House.

I'll start with House, as it was a departure from the norm. Just as we had "Wilson" from the perspective of House's only friend, tonight brings us "5 to 9", the length of Cuddy's day. Cuddy is an odd character, written as one note some weeks, and depthy in others. Sometimes her and House look like an item, sometimes she's just the mean old boss lady standing in the way of him and awesome doctoring. This episode loaded her plate up with many many obstacles, the biggest of which was whether or not to terminate their contract with the insurance company who handles most of their business. Cuddy stuck to her guns, was about to resign for screwing up, but then the insurance company blinked and gave in to her demands. Honestly, this felt like a huge copout, having her on the way to giving up before the situation resolves itself. Would have expected something more proactive from her, but this almost felt like a lucky break just landed in her lap. Some of the other bits were amusing: Using a hidden microphone to trick the meth-stealing pharmacy tech (and what a bitch!) into digging her own grave, playing hardball with Thumb Guy, all while dealing with House's usual antics. The episode did do one thing well: make us realize why the show is called "House" and not "Cuddy". They tried to pack way too much in, and while it worked to show us what Cuddy goes through to have her life and her job, it didn't make for a great hour of television.

Lost, on the other hand, was a lot better, although still moving at a mellow pace. Tonight was the Locke episode, and we get to see the ramifications of his pre-815 actions in this no-crash timeline. He comes back bitter (although still with Helen), gets fired for using company money to take his walkabout, runs into Hurley (who just bought the company...and a temp agency (where Rose works!)...and of course, Mr Cluck's), and has the worst luck with his van. Locke, on the island, was always the believer (as Ben pointed out in his eulogy). However, off the island, he is the cynic. There are no miracles in Locke's non-island world, which may be the greatest tragedy of the alternate timeline. At the end though, he gets a job substitute teaching, where he runs into Ben, of all people, who is also teaching. So, is this destiny that all of these people are fated to meet? Or just amazing coincidence?

Meanwhile, back on the island, Not-Locke and Sawyer go on a walkabout of their own. A boy who looks an awful lot like Jacob pops up a couple of times, telling Not-Locke that he "isn't allowed to kill them". The game is still running? They make their way down the World's Most Rickety Ladder (where Not-Locke saves Sawyer's life, probably) into a spooky cave which holds a balanced scale with one white and one black rock on it. Not-Locke takes the white rock off the scale and whips it into the ocean ( "Private joke", he explains), then leads Sawyer into the real part of the cave; a room with many names chalked onto the walks and ceiling. These are the "candidates", people who have the potential to take over for Jacob as protector of the island. They are Jack, Sawyer, Hurley, Jin or Sun, Locke (who gets crossed off on account of death), and Sayid. Even better, the names are all numbered, and if you really need me to tell you the numbers of the six names remaining, then you obviously have never watched this show. The episode ends with Not-Locke offering Sawyer the chance for the two of them to leave the island, to which Sawyer responds with an emphatic "Hell yes". And scene.

Well, if you wanted to know what the numbers were, now you know. Big question, interesting answer. Obviously Not-Locke isn't telling the whole story, and Sawyer obviously won't be taken in by the lies. Where do we go from here? Seven days, and we'll find out. Leverage season finale tomorrow!

The beans are made out of guns

2010-02-11T05:52:00.002-06:00

Mmmmm...what a delicious Leverage tonight. I knew I was in for a treat when I saw that series creator John Rogers wrote tonight's episode. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present...Part 1 of the season finale.

The client this week is Team Leverage's favorite cop, a lieutenant who is the go-to guy when a job needs to end with the mark in cuffs. He's been shot up by FBI agents (or "agents") after he shows them a thick file regarding the corrupion of the mayor, played by "Spin City"'s Richard Kind. No one plays weaselly better than him. Nate goes to visit the cop's wife in the hospital, sees his son, and has flashbacks to his own son (i.e., the reason Nate is currently Nate). We cut to Nate leaving (likely drunken) phone messages for Sophie, rambling on and on until Tara shows up to take him upstairs to plan the job. The gig seems simple enough; trick the mayor into giving them a bribe (in this case, to build a baseball stadium on land he secretly owns), then use that to set him up and get him caught by the good guys. Lot of funny bits in this episode: Parker complaining about never getting to do anything fun (right before jumping off a bridge), Tara taking over Sophie's mentor role while walking Parker through a con, Elliot going from baseball hater to power hitting local hero, Hardison and Parker hitting all the local sports talk shows in order to spread rumors about the local team moving, and probably a couple more I missed. The con turns sour at the end, as it turns out that the mayor is an FBI snitch. Some quick thinking (and the sacrifice of Hardison's beloved van) gets the team out of the trap, but their troubles aren't over yet...because here comes Sterling. James Sterling, Interpol.

And "To Be Continued". Awesome cliffhanger, as the team has to recover from a loss, and now they're being pursued by Sterling backed by the FBI (and his own considerable authority at this point). I don't think I'm spoiling anything when I say that this is the perfect situation for Sophie to make her return in, so next week's episode should be extra sweet.

Thursday comedies/Burn Notice may be a little late, I've got tickets to see Michael Ian Black (of the very underrated "Stella") and then I'm going to Austin to see "Web Soup"'s Chris Hardwick do standup. I'll likely have reviews of those up here once I get back.

Babies and Poison!

2010-02-10T06:59:00.002-06:00

Well, that's all I got out of tonight's LOST anyway. Don't get me wrong, I'm not turning on the show or anything, but after last week's two hours of OMG'ing all over the place, this episode fell a little flat. Not terrible flat, just like going to work the day after your birthday. Everything was all exciting and crazy, now you have to settle in. And what better to settle in with than a Kate episode. Sigh...

Okay, I don't hate Kate, I swear. She's just not all that interesting to me, and so when the show focuses on her, my focus drifts elsewhere. It probably happened back in the early days, when Jack and Sawyer were the Archie and Reggie fighting over her freckly Veronica (of course, this means Juliet is Betty). So, we have three main storylines tonight: Alternate Universe Kate escaping from The Man, Island Kate escaping from The Others, and then The Mystery of the Resurrected Sayid.

First off, AU Kate. Still cuffed, she hijacks a taxi, terrifying the driver and the passenger...a very pregnant Claire. After the driver bails out at a red light, Kate takes over the wheel, then kicks Claire out (after demanding her purse...what a bitch) and drives to the local friendly auto shop owner, who of course doesn't mind taking Kate's handcuffs off with no questions asked. Kate goes through Claire's bag for a change of clothes (not stopping to realize that it'll be nothing but "Baby on Board" maternity stuff and Kajagoogoo t-shirts), but finds baby stuff instead (umm, Kate? You did see that huge belly on her, right? Did you think she was just coming from a hot dog eating contest?), feels bad, and goes back to where she kicked Claire out to give her stuff back and offer her a ride. Claire and Kate pull up at the house of the couple who was supposed to adopt Claire's baby, only to find out that the husband ran out on the wife (who wants to wager on the husband being an Other or Dharma guy or something like that?) and so the lady has to say thanks but no thanks to the little bundle of joy. Oh Claire, don't you know you're supposed to call "no backsies" when giving your baby up for adoption on the other side of the planet?

So Claire freaks out, which causes the baby to hit the eject button and start clawing his way to freedom (and a gig on an E-Trade ad, most likely). Kate, the Most Helpful Carjacker Ever, drives Claire to the hospital and hangs out with her while ETHAN ROM!!! does an ultrasound and offers to induce labor. Claire blurts out Aaron's name (which just "came to her"), and her and Kate have smiley lady bonding. And that's about it.

Meanwhile, back on the island, Sawyer gets his gun and checks out of Camp Other. Kate offers to go bring him back, but it's just her cunning plan to escape, thanks to one of Russo's traps, and the worst guards ever; one of which knows her from the first time she escaped from jail. Small world! She heads back to Dharmaville and sees Sawyer being all mopey about Juliet and the life he left behind. Meanwhile, Jin has gone looking for Sun, only he gets caught up to by the old guards. Just as he's about to get capped by one of them, the dude gets shot...by Island Claire! Welcome back, Island Claire!

Back at the Hidden Temple, Sayid gets dragged away by some Others to be "tested", which looks a lot like "tortured", 24-style. Jack busts in for some answers, and the guy in charge gives him some medicine to give to Sayid, to get rid of the "infection" that is supposedly inside of him, post-resurrection. Jack refuses, and asks what's in it. Not getting an answer, he swallows it, then gets it kung-fu chopped right back out of his esophagus because...IT'S POISON!!! Yep, apparently some dark mojo got all up inside Sayid, and will slowly take over his mind/body...just like it did to Jack's sister. Sister? Oh yeah, Claire. Island Claire. Who hangs out with Jack's dead dad. Yeah, shit just got real.

So where are we at? Kate's on the run, Claire's back on the show, Sayid may be turning evil, and Sawyer is sad. Nothing from Locke and the Shadow of the Statue gang this week, which will hopefully be rectified soon. It's a long season though, and we'll need patience to get through it. Answers, they are a'coming. See you back here for Leverage!

Mondays Are No Longer Huge!

2010-02-09T05:54:00.002-06:00

Yes that's right, Mondays have now been diminished (well, some would say improved) because Heroes is over for the season, maybe even forever. No slight against How I Met Your Mother or Castle, because both of those shows knocked it out of the park tonight (especially a baseball themed Castle), but Heroes was one of the reasons I started this blog (mostly to rant about it) and now it is done with. Before the Heroes post-mortem, let's talk of happier times.

How I Met Your Mother: I was watching the Super Bowl and caught the bit with Barney in the stands holding a sign with his phone number on it. If you called, you got a phone message like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SETy6IMYmwk

Hopefully the link still works, but it's a cute recording of Barney telling you to meet him at MacLaren's Pub at a certain time and date (the one in the video is October of 2016). Funny bit, and I wondered if it would pay off on tonight's episode...and boy did it ever. The episode kicks off with Barney's sign, leading to his "magic phone" which is constantly ringing (with possibly the most annoying ring tone ever) from hot women who are calling. Quick aside; wouldn't some of the women be not hot? Or curious guys? Or curious gays? Anyway, logic aside, this leads to Barney being slowly driven insane with an unending stream of girls to score with, only he can't bring himself to settle on one long enough to do the deed, worried that there's a hotter one calling every time the phone rings. Also, since this is the Valentine's Day episode as well as the Super Bowl episode, Ted and Robin get romance related storylines. Robin's is about her co-anchor Don, who asks her over to his place on a date/to a party (depending on who you ask). Robin doesn't want to go, but the rest of the gang can tell that she likes him (or is just giving her shit about it), leading to the most confusing, yet most epic, sequence this show has possibly ever given us: the rabbit or duck argument. Ted brings out one of those optical illusions where it looks like a rabbit, but also looks like a duck (for the record, I saw duck first, and it took me a good 10 seconds to see the rabbit). The theory is that she thinks he's a rabbit (which is bad), but that he's actually a duck (which is good). The hilarity comes when Marshall pipes up that he thinks rabbits are way more awesome than ducks, which leads to a fast-forwarded argument in which the other three at the table debate/bully Marshall into changing his opinion. So many great lines in that scene, go watch it (or watch it again if you've already seen it) and enjoy.

As for Ted, he gives Marshall and Lily free reign to set up an arranged marriage date for him (thanks to the input of Ranjit, who, between the knitting and carrying Barney out of the bar, was comedy gold tonight) for Valentine's Day...which they forget about. Before the date, Ted accompanies Robin to Don's party, which just turns out to be Don doing "The Naked Man".. Whooo!!! Callbacks!!! Ted bails for his date, which in classic HIMYM flashback fashion, is revealed to be someone from the magic phone which Marshall and Lily had taken away from Barney. Ted (or should I say, Teddy Westside) falls under the spell of the phone before Lily dunks it in a pitcher of beer, ending the madness. Robin comes to work to find that Don has had a change of heart regarding his job (and even wore pants), and that should take us into some Don/Robin relationship stories for the next few weeks. Great episode.

Castle was also great tonight, going back to those basics that it does so well. The plots are your basic procedural stuff, well done but with all the twists in the right spots. I don't say that in a bad way; Castle does a lot with the procedural, but it's the small bits that make the show so good. I'm not always a fan of stunt casting, but Beckett being starstruck by meeting Joe Torre was such an adorable character moment for her that it just made the scene. My favorite bit though was back at the station when Esposito and Ryan are tossing a baseball back and forth while talking over the case with Beckett. Castle enters with his coffee, they toss the ball to him, and he misses the catch by a mile, sending the ball off to who knows where and he keeps talking without even acknowledging the miss. Small moment, huge character moment, and had me cracking up. Also present was perhaps the seeds of a larger storyline as we learn (through Alexis' genealogy project) that Castle doesn't know who his father is. Whether it leads to anything or not, it still led to a sweet moment at the end between Castle and Alexis, a duo who haven't been together as much in recent episodes, but which provides a lot of heart to a genre that doesn't normally go for it.

Oh, and RAY WISE!!! I know the whole "I'm calling my expensive lawyer" thing is pretty standard when the bad guy gets arrested, but I hold out a tiny shred of hope that the finale can involve Ray Wise trying to have the case thrown out because of Castle's involvement. Probably not a strong story post, but I just want more Ray Wise.

And finally (maybe literally) we come to Heroes. With as much as the plot dragged on all season, they sure didn't waste any time resolving everything in one episode. There's a little thing called pacing, and it works wonders when you're trying to keep your show on the air. Looking back at the season as a whole, there was so much that was just a huge timewaste and had little or nothing to do with the actual ending of the actual story.

We start off with Samuel...and big surprise, he's making a speech. Blah blah blah, oh hey big reveal, they're in Central Park. Not much of a surprise considering that Samuel was all "let's all go to Central Park" at the end of last week's episode. Samuel uses Doyle to force Emma to play Pied Piper (okay, Pied Cellist) and gather people around the Carnival.

Couple of quick thoughts: A) It's a carnival in the middle of Central Park, how much extra magic power voodoo do you need to get a crowd? B) Did they file the proper permits? Is there a "special" there with the ability to push through New York State bureaucracy? Not even one scene of a couple of cops asking around and getting taken out by Samuel? The guy is supposed to be evil by this point...SHOW US EVIL!!! He's a dirty Irish guy who loves the sound of his own voice and can control the weak minded...he's Bono, not Bin Laden.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Claire and HRG are stuck underground in a trailer thanks to Magnet-O', and quickly running out of air. Well, HRG is, Claire will apparently keep regenerating her lungs. Now, I'm no doctor, but I don't think "regenerating lungs" is the same as "getting air to her brain", but what do I know, I don't have a low-rated NBC series. Anyway, HRG almost gets to leave the show by dying with dignity, but Deus Ex Tracy shows up long enough to rescue them, draw a paycheck, then see if Doritos is still hiring. Oh hey, and the helicopter just showed up too! See what I mean about pacing? That could have been an episode of "trying to escape, having a heart to heart talk, Tracy rescues them", then the "go to carnival, do things there" stuff would be in the finale. Instead, they're rescued before we even have time to care about whether HRG might not make it.

Meanwhile, Parkman makes a sandwich. Well, he tries to, but the Human Xerox Machine is there, and they gang up on Parkman. Just before they can make him eat a turd, Peter and New Sylar knock out the Xerox Prime and the clones disappear. Parkman takes either way too long or way too short to be convinced enough of Sylar's change of heart. Oh, and speaking of heart...okay, so Parkman looks inside Sylar's mind to see if he's really repented. Parkman isn't convinced though, because "he's seen inside his mind, but not his heart". Oh give me a fucking break! This must have been written by the same anatomy expert who gave us Claire's magical regenerating lungs.

Now we go to Hiro, who has made a full recovery from his brain surgery/psychic trial/acid trip and is ready to just hop out of bed and do whatever it is he does. Luckily, the Plot Advancing Nurse comes in to tell Hiro what to do next, rather than force his actions to occur naturally within the story. It's an note from Charlie and she's an old lady! TWIST! Turns out, Samuel hid Charlie in the 40's where she lived out her life. In Milwaukee in the 40's. But now she's in the same hospital as Hiro for no reason other than to help out a lazy writer who just wants to get this season over with, apparently. Hiro offers to fix things, but Charlie has had a good Hiro-free life and doesn't want to psychically murder her offspring by undoing all the time travel nonsense. Charlie, must be the most tolerant character on all of television. Seriously, she gets taken away from her life, sent back to an era that doesn't have the internet or cable, and doesn't seem bitter at all. If you set her hair on fire, she'd probably be all "Oh, my hair's on fire...well, it was getting a little chilly in here". For that matter, Charlie has the ability to remember everything she's ever read right? And she's 60 years in the past, right? Shouldn't she be the richest woman alive from playing the stock market? Or from betting on sports (The Biff Tannen Method)? Or inventing stuff? I can understand hiding her superpower from people, but hiding foreknowledge of the next 65 years of history? Yeah, I know it goes into all the "don't mess with the past" stuff that Hiro's always babbling on about, but this is seriously just crap. Hiro and Charlie do the best they can with the material, and Hiro saying goodbye is a nice bittersweet moment, but it's nestled in a big basket of lazy crap writing. Just as they finish up, Ando gets the "it's time to wrap this crapfest up" call on the special Heroes Hotline or something, and they teleport to Central Park.

So now we have all of our players (well, all the players that didn't get ignored all season) together in Central Park, ready to wrap things up. Claire goes to try talking, since that worked so well every other time she's tried it. Oh hey, there's the plant guy! Geez, with that outfit, he was probably better off being homeless. Anyway, so Claire does the whole "catch up the audience on the season" thing, which the carnies are blowing off. Then Ray Park and HRG show up to back her story up, which doesn't do much else more. However, Xerox Guy shows up, and thanks to Parkman's mental instructions, confesses to his part in the shooting of Lydia. This causes the sheep...I mean carny folk to break up the family and get out of Dodge. Meanwhile, Sylar goes to save Emma from Fat Jeff Dunham, which is predictable and boring. Samuel has a freakout and runs on stage (ooh, to give a speech?) to start the earth-based massacre. Peter flies (flies? did I forget something?) into him and they have an incredibly boring dirt fight and talk about each other's dead brothers for a while. Just long enough for Hiro to show up, teleport everyone away, and then stay gone. Poor Masi Oka...let's get this guy on 24 or something.

So Samuel's power supply is cut off and he's led out in cuffs. Everyone gets to celebrate, and Volume 5 is over. Now here's Volume 6 and...oh crap, Claire's going to do something stupid. Thanks to the conveniently contrived news camera in her face, she decides to speak for everyone else with a power and out herself as a special, Midland-style. At least the climb to the top of the Ferris Wheel took long enough for every other character there to have the chance to react to it. Okay, and seriously? Having everybody just stare dumbly while she climbs? Lame. She lands, she heals, and it's over. Great, now the last thing I'll ever have seen on Heroes is Claire's dumb face staring at me.

Okay, so here's what kills me about this finale: There was no real reason for Sylar to be there to save Emma (or to turn good, for that matter), Hiro was only there as a freaking BUS, Claire and HRG were only in danger for about 8 minutes, and most of the other characters from this season (or seasons past) were just gone for no reason other than not being in the episode. Ensemble shows need ensemble casts, and this cast is Claire and Peter and then some other people who come and go. Sylar is a great character, but he has no consistency. Why should I buy into a reformed Sylar when he's only been reformed for 3 hours and he has a history of turning right back to evil? Why should a petulant and gullible teenage girl get to decide for everybody else that the world needs to know about specials? Why does Peter only have one facial expression? Heroes gave us a lame and boring villain, and lame and boring protagonists to "take him down" with. What did we really get out of this season? Claire might be gay, Peter...nothing, Hiro had a brain tumor and now he doesn't anymore, Sylar is magically good, and Samuel accomplished nothing. The whole season was a interminable march to this point, where the specials are now known about. Great, you spent 5 seasons getting us to Issue #1 of X-Men. If Heroes gets canceled soon, I'll come back with a full obituary of the series. Unfortunately, I have the feeling that it will come back to torment me for another season, so we'll just spend the time until then watching some much better shows.

Thursday Ahoy!

2010-02-05T06:40:00.002-06:00

Yes, I increasingly suck at titles. Anyway, big Thursday so let's jump right in.

Community: This show keeps getting better, and really does a great job of using its ensemble. Listen up networks and casting people: talented actors make a show good, not big names. Joel McHale and Chevy Chase are the biggest names on this show; Joel (albeit awesome) is most decidedly not a big name (although he should be...he is a big man), and Chevy Chase has been poison for years. Example: Chevy Chase's Comedy Central Roast. They are talented people, with comedy and acting chops, and they are able to come forward or stay back as needed to forward the story or just to pop a big laugh in a particular scene. Case in point: This was an Annie episode. Alison Brie is adorable and awesome, and she nailed it tonight. She becomes wooed by Vaughn (of the tiny nipples), and Britta and Jeff decide (as the ersatz parents of the study group) that they need to break them up for her own good. Comedy ensues, and it all pays off in a big roundtable scene where the last season and a half's worth of subplots, moments, and in-jokes all spills out into one great ensemble scene. The AV Club reviewer compared it to the cast of NewsRadio, which is a pretty apt comparison. The B story of Pierce's inability to crack jokes at terrible movies (which, btw, Channel 101 regular Derek Mears was hilarious as Kickpuncher), and going to the lengths of hiring comedy writers to help him load up for the next screening was just over the top enough to be a good Pierce story. There was nothing I didn't love about this episode, even Vaughn's incredibly dumb, yet somehow oddly touching, soung for Annie. Watch this show!

Parks and Recreation: I've been getting into the comedy of one Mr. Aziz Ansari, and because of that and that alone, I gave Parks and Rec another shot tonight. Honestly, his character was the only one I was into, as Amy Poehler is funny but still not doing it for me in this character. There's a demographic somewhere that this show is for, and somehow I'm not part of it. Might keep watching though, we'll see if it grows on me.

The Office: Finally back after last week's clip show/boot to the crotch. Dunder Mifflin has been bought by Sabre (not pronounced "Sah-bray", by the way), and I loved the effect that restrictive rules have on Michael Scott (and the rest of the office). Twenty trips to the water cooler, site blockers on all the timewasting sites...it's going to be torture. Even if you're not a fan of the show, just the indoctrination video starring Christian Slater (seriously, as Christian Slater) is worth tracking down online. Kathy Bates as the head Sabre honcho has merit too, I dig her comedy chops and she'll be a strong personality. The scenes with Michael and David Wallace were funny but sad, which is a kind of comedy I have to be in the mood for, but is something that The Office has been skimping on lately (and what made the British Office so great). All in all, I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next.

30 Rock: Not my favorite episode, although after Community and The Office, it was a little hard for 30 Rock to bat cleanup. It was nice to see Jan Hooks working again, and I hope she comes back as Jenna's mother more often. Jack/Jenna is a pairing the show hardly ever goes with, and shaking up the pairings can only help at this point. Liz and Frank was odd, although the hidden camera footage at the end was gold. Absolute gold. The show does absurd so well, I wonder why they don't just throw off the shackles and embrace it 100%. Well, there's still time.

Finally, Burn Notice was new tonight, and it was a fairly by-the-numbers episode. Small twist with Sugar, Michael's former drug dealing downstairs neighbor being the client, but otherwise it was Michael being helpful. Just once, I'd like to see the client take Michael's very good advice about skipping town...but then the show'd only be half an hour long. Gilroy is becoming much more interesting though, and at a level of ruthlessness that hasn't been seen in a while. The question of why Michael is working his way in so close to him before taking him down is still a glaring one, and I'd like to see Michael get seduced to the dark side. Won't happen, but who cares; it's my damn blog. Mrs. Weston was a hindrance this episode, doing nothing but eating up screen time. The Michael/Mom relationship has to start going somewhere (not in that way you sickos!) and soon, or else I'm going to be straight up wicked bored whenever she pops up on my screen.

That's all for this week. I'm almost done with Veronica Mars, and I'm going to try to get Dollhouse started (restarted) soon enough. Super Bowl this weekend, and then the Heroes finale! Season? Series? Who knows?

Leverage Hills, 90210 (Because I'm too lazy to look up Boston's area code)

2010-02-04T07:25:00.002-06:00

Well well well, is that Luke Perry on Leverage? Why yes it is, and he plays a TV psychic/con artist who is bilking people out of their hard earned monies. Time to call in: The L*Team.

Nah, that name isn't going to work. But it is Luke Perry, and just a day after Buffy The Vampire Slayer (the movie) was on. Synchronicity: it is real. So the gang goes to the studio to stake out Mr. Psychic (and ironically, I was watching Psych right before this. Two fake psychics in one night!) and he does a cold read on Parker that freaks her right the hell out. Great acting by Beth Reisgraf and a great way to toss in some exposition about how cold reading works. The team sends in a hippie'd out Tara as a rival psychic, one who "has the Gift" for reals. She gives Luke Perry a psychic reading, which the Leverage Gang proceeds to make come true (complete with Hardison stuffing fortune cookies and a cackling Elliot towing Luke's car away). Not entirely convinced of Tara's powers, LP still decides to take her on as a partner, needing a bigger impact in order to get a network TV deal. Hardison (fueled by gummi frogs and his omnipresent orange soda) does a virtuoso hacking job to feed information to Tara, who "spiritually conveys" it to LP. He does a little too good of a job though, and all of a sudden, LP is in a van. Parker's content to let him get killed, but the team needs to free him...so they can destroy him.

They track him down and find that a criminal wants him to use his psychic powers to track down the money from a bank robbery in which his partner died before revealing the money's hiding place. The team sets up a nice little psychic treasure hunt in order to stall them, then manages to get the two of them into a storage unit for LP to confess that he's a sham, a fraud, a phony, a humbug, etc. Then the wall blows, and he tumbles into his own studio, packed with audience members, who just heard his full confession. Great way to tie it all together, although I'd have to go back and watch again to see if the proximity of the storage unit to the studio came out of nowhere, or was actually setup earlier.

In a nice scene at the end, Nate gives some comforting words to the victim, leading Tara to finally see why the team does what they do. Parker returns the money that the victim had given to Luke Perry, and just when I think that she took it out of her personal stash, she reveals that her and Hardison tracked down the lost bank loot. Ahh Parker, always a thief in the end.

Excellent episode, and with only a few more to go, I do wonder how Sophie will come back into the picture. Meanwhile, Leverage is putting out some great hours of television. Seriously, if you're not watching, go get Season 1 and start catching up. DO IT!!!!

Thursday comedies tonight, and I may have to keep up with new Survivor coming up next week.

Oh Lost, How I Missed You So!

2010-02-03T06:18:00.003-06:00

Yes, the long (and I do mean loooooooong) wait is over, and the final season of Lost is finally here. And a few months from now (on a Sunday), Lost will exit our lives forever. Well, or so they would have us believe. The series should be over anyway, which is bittersweet. It'll be nice to have all the questions answered, but I really will miss this show. The constant complaints about all the mysteries just bug me though...the whole point of a good mystery is the anticipation of the ending when the case is solved. That's what Lost is, a grand mystery set in four dimensions. Would the polar bear in the first episode have been as awesome if you knew that it just came from a cage on another part of the island? Lost, save for a few blips now and again, has rewarded the faithful viewer, and now comes their final gift to us.

And what a beginning. The bomb blows up, the screen goes white...and Jack's on a plane. Kate's there, Sawyer's there, the whole Lost crew...then the bomb blows up, the screen goes white, and Kate wakes up on the island. Trippy. My best theory (and oh, there will be theories) is that the bomb created some kind of parallel dimension where the Oceanic 6 & pals never crashed, in addition to their current reality. The two hour premiere skips back and forth between these two realities (or whatever, I'm calling them realities and it's my damn blog) showing "what is" and "what also is", for lack of a better term.

On the island, we've got Sayid still gutshot, Sawyer super pissed at Jack, Kate trying to keep some kind of peace, Jin...found a flashlight, and Hurley talks to the ghost of Jacob, who tells him how to save Sayid. Before that, they have to rescue Juliet who has inexplicably managed to survive all Baby Jessica-style at the bottom of the shaft. Juliet dies, sadly, and Sawyer makes Miles talk to her ghost, who just says "It worked".

Hey, maybe they just exist both in the past, and in the present. Maybe they meet the versions of themselves that have been in the 70's this whole time! Whoo! Theories! Remember kids, "what happened, happened".

Anyway, so they make it to the temple, where Hurley's guitar case contains...a big wooden ankh. That mysterious Chinese-talking dude snaps in twain to reveal a note inside. The note seems to establish the group's bona fides, and they go in to dunk Sayid in the magic life water (not to be confused with SoBe Life Water), only for it not to work. Sad day.

Okay, so in the "present", Jack gets called to the bathroom to help save an unconscious Charlie (whoo!!! Charlie!!!) who is choking on...wait for it...his Bag O' Heroin! The plane lands, Charlie's led off in cuffs, Locke has heart to heart chats with Boone (!) and later, Jack. Locke is still in the wheelchair, by the way. Kate escapes from custody, and the airline loses Jack's luggage...the big wooden one containing his dead dad. Not going too much into this part so far, mainly because I don't know what the hell it's leading to. Bold move for the premiere though.

Okay, so in the past, Locke has totally killed Jacob with the help of Ben. Richard is outside with the Shadow of the Statue gang, and a few of them come inside to see what's going on. They take a couple of shots at Locke who HOLY SHIT LOCKE IS THE SMOKE MONSTER!!!!!! One of the SotS'ers pulls out a bag of mystery sand and makes a circle out of it to keep the smoke monster out, but the smoke monster is JUST TOO SMART and knocks a big rock free and uses that to knock the dude out of his CoP:Black.

The temple people hear that Jacob is dead and freak right out. They barricade the doors and launch some fireworks, which Richard sees all the way over at the Foot. Jacob picks that time to exit and he goes all Chuck Norris on Richard, picking him up and dragging him off...passing right by the dirty dead body of John Locke.

Oh, and then Sayid comes back to life.

So, business as usual for Lost; answering 2 or 3 questions while creating a dozen more. Well, not that many. Still, now next week we've got revived Sayid, Kate on the run, Locke carrying Richard, Sawyer and Miles are wandering somewhere, and Jack looks for his dead dad. All this, and more next week on...Lost.

Heroes is almost over!

2010-02-02T07:26:00.002-06:00

Yes, the season finale of Heroes is eminent, which is odd considering how many things are left unanswered at this point, as well as how unlikely it seems that Heroes will be picked up, considering how expensive the cast must be getting and how bad the ratings have been. Still, stranger things have happened.

The crux of this episode was Peter and Sylar's Excellent Adventure, hanging out in Sylar's mental prison (courtesy of temporary badass Matt Parkman) and having a little bonding time. Per Sylar, every hour spent there feels like a year, so they spend roughly nine years swinging away at a wall with a sledgehammer before finally starting to put their differences aside and escape. Honestly, the storyline was interesting in concept, but fairly dull in resolution. Peter and Sylar have been the tentpoles of the show ever since the big Season 1 showdown, and so giving them this much time to just talk is both overdue, and just weird considering how many other things are going on. Maybe I've just been burned too many times on "Sylar turns over a new leaf", so I'll believe it when I see it...and then still not believe it because they can just turn him evil again on a whim, like they always seem to do.

Meanwhile, the Claire/HRG storyline boils down to a lot of flashbacks (cause hey, Company Man was awesome, right?), and we get the MOST CLICHE'D ORIGIN STORY EVER for how Noah turned into HRG. Oh my goodness, his wife was murdered by a special! Lame, even by Heroes standards.

Samuel has a chat with Blonde Agent, has a chat with Claire, and announces plans to go to...wait for it...New York City. Sigh. Wake me when it's over. He buries Claire and HRG in a trailer to end the episode on what passes for a cliffhanger these days. I can't work up any more interest than this, I swear.

How I Met Your Mother, on the other hand, was much better, focusing on Barney's quest for The Perfect Week. Having Jim Nantz as a framing device was great, as were the sports metaphors running through the episode. It was a light and fluffy episode, plenty of good gags (the "Cook Pu" joke in particular), and the kicker was the very end as Ted speculates about telling this story to his kids, followed by "Am I a bad father?" to finish it all off. Not much else to say, just a funny half hour of TV. And I'm distracted by the pending return of Lost.

I love you, Lost!!!

Burn Notice!!!

2010-02-01T06:43:00.002-06:00

Good episode this week, featuring some backstory on Sam, and we finally get to meet the mysterious Gilroy. Client O' The Week is Sam's former SEAL buddy Mack, former being because Mack was making time with Sam's ex-wife. Isn't the Navy motto "Bros before Hos"? Actually, from what I've heard of the Navy, that may be truer than I thought.

***Note to Navy people: Please don't kill me***

Anywho, Mack is tracking a Very Bad Man to Miami and needs help to find and apprehend him. Michael figures that the best way to search a tight-knit gang-run village is to get the local gang leader involved, so Michael puts on my favorite cover identity to date; "Lewis", a guy who dresses like the devil and blows stuff up when he snaps his fingers. Very badass, and it reminds us that Mr. Weston is using great restraint considering the things he is capable of.

Anyway, recruiting the gang boss leads to the gang boss (who is more of a nice, Robin Hood type of gang boss) to have some trouble with DANNY FUCKING TREJO (or "Machete", as you will know him soon), leading Michael have to grab the bad guy and stop the other bad guy in order to make things right with the not so bad guy in the end. A little more complicated than most of the other plans work out, but we got a sweet face-first rappelling/gunfight scene, so I'm not going to complain.

Also by the end of the episode, Gilroy decides that Michael is his kind of co-worker, and Michael makes time for some sweet love making with dear Fiona. Not quite sure where that's leading to, but if it stops the bickering, I'm all for it.

Also of note: Jon Hamm did an admirable job hosting Saturday Night Live this week, featuring a great restaurant ad with him and Michael Buble, as well as the first case of sketch continuity I can remember since Buckwheat was shot.

Coming up: Sunday animation, Heroes, and Castle, and I hope a new How I Met Your Mother. So much to watch, so little time.

Castleverage!!!

2010-01-29T07:16:00.002-06:00

Why yes, I am enamored with that collision of words, thank you for noticing!

Castle: Started out amusing, with Castle as the #9 most eligible bachelor in New York, and going to great lengths to hide rumors of a romantic link between he and Beckett, from Beckett. Once that ended though, the story got a little slow, and culminated in a fairly predictable pas de deux on a "oh so coincidental" set of dates (Castle with Ms. #3 and Beckett with Mr. June). The editing was sharp, cutting between Castle and Beckett trying to puzzle out the case to their respective uninterested dates, unfortunately the writing wasn't up to par, and so my interest was waning. The wrapup wasn't even that entertaining, since they apparently couldn't spring for a big black snake to at least give us that much of a sight gag. Castle jumping/shrieking when shot at was funny though, but not enough to make up for the episode. Only average tonight...you can do better!!!

Leverage: Great episode tonight, as they swing for the fences by bringing back Nate's nemesis (Sterling) and ex-wife (Maggie). Loved the tensions between Sterling and the Leverage team; starting with Elliot beating the crap out of him, then Hardison's frequent references to almost blowing him up, and finally with even Tara becoming fed up with him. The "I really hate that guy"/"Now you're part of the team" exchange between her and Elliot was such a well-written moment. Elliott really shone in the episode too, taking over once Nate and Maggie were taken hostage. Sterling managing to get yet another promotion off of the hard work of Team Leverage was nice bit, although he may have earned it with his performance when Parker needed a distraction. Another great episode, and I can't wait to see what comes next week.

Thursday comedies were reruns, so enjoy the final Dollhouse tonight (if you're into such things), and I'll be working on doing a season's worth of catching up on it and some final thoughts about yet another entry in "Joss Whedon's Case Against Fox".

Only Heroes today

2010-01-26T07:13:00.002-06:00

Oh Matt Parkman. Just when I think you couldn't get any dumber, you do something like this...

...and TOTALLY redeem yourself!

Okay, it's going to take way more to get me back on the Heroes bandwagon (which doesn't exist, because I can't imagine anyone defending this show anymore), but that was a pretty badass scene. When we left off last week, Sylar had come to Parkman to get him to take away his powers, thinking them to be the source of his insanity/homicidal rage/sweet eyebrows. Parkman fails to do so, so Sylar starts to go all cuckoobananas on Janice. Parkman has a quick huddle with his wife, who breaks with tradition for this show by offering good advice and tells Matt to "bury him". Parkman summons all of his powers of rack focus and shaky cam, and goes through the clip show of Sylar's mind, finding his deepest fear: of dying alone (thanks Hiro!). He pulls a "Dad move" and traps Sylar in his own mind, all alone...which is pretty awesome, I'm not gonna lie. Someone on the show is a Poe fan, because Parkman goes all "Cask of Amontillado" on him. For the record, add bricklaying to the list of things Parkman sucks at.

However, Peter picks that time to drop by, after dreaming a little dream of Emma, Sylar, the carnival, and the puppet master making Emma keep playing. After a depressing visit to mom, he comes to Parkman to find Sylar, then takes Parkman's power (without even asking! What a douche!). Quick scan of the pamphlet that is Parkman's mind, and he zips downstairs to wake Sylar up. Parkman does a little mental mumbo jumbo to Peter though, and Peter ends the episode wandering a deserted downtown area.

If that was the whole episode, I could have given it a high grade (if I actually gave grades here), but unfortunately it just wouldn't be an episode of Heroes without a few torturous scenes involving...

Claire. Sigh. Okay, so she swings by Bennet's place (who is off being in full HRG mode again, so we're going to call him that again) for a talk, only to bump into Blonde Agent, who decides to let Claire in so she can bask in the glorious assault plan (which apparently consists solely of "headshot, boom!"). She bails, and then goes straight for Samuel like the good little idiot character she is. She convinces Samuel to turn himself in, and then as he's giving, surprise, a speech to the rest of the carnies, someone opens fire on them. Babies and pets probably believe that it's HRG firing the shots, but everybody else waits until the inevitable reveal of the second gunman (just like in Dallas!). HRG picks him off, but it's one of Multiplicity Man's clones, then HRG gets coldcocked by another clone (or the real thing, who actually cares anymore) and dragged to the carnival to get blamed for the shootings. Meanwhile, Lydia catches a bullet and Samuel lets her make out with his soul so that she can explain what just happened for the aforementioned babies and pets. Thus, we learn our two lessons for the day: Claire is dumb, and the writers think we are equally dumb.

Oh yeah, and Blonde Agent gets shot and calls Tracy Strauss. Oh boy, more Tracy Strauss.

No HIMYM this week, but new Castle is on deck. Deuces! (as the kids say)

Dammit, who forgot to tell me that Burn Notice was back!

2010-01-25T07:27:00.003-06:00

It used to be so much easier: new shows begin in September, end in May, and that was it. Now we've got seasons starting whenever they damn well please, and shows taking mid-season breaks and then coming back with new episodes. Burn Notice is in the midst of Season 3 on the USA Network, and when we last left Michael Weston, he had given up a chance at getting unburned in order to save Fiona from Irish assassins (which would be a great Boston sports franchise). Tonight has him dealing with the aftermath of his decision, and picking up Fi's clients, since she's out of action with a bullet wound in the shoulder. The client is a woman whose husband was killed in an insurance scam car accident, and who is being shaken down for money by the guys behind the scam ring. The usual job for Michael, only this one gives us sweet vehicular action (for the guys) and sleeveless Michael (for the ladies). We also meet our subplot, a mystery assassin who seems to be several steps ahead of Weston and the gang, and whose motives have yet to be uncovered. Spooky, I know.

The real meat of the episode is in the scenes with Michael and his mother, who they recruit to help persuade a records clerk to get them some files. The first time, they just need one file, then Mrs. Weston befriends the clerk/asset. That backfires later when Michael needs her to blackmail the clerk in order to get the rest of the files that he needs to put the gang away. The scene where she gets the files out of the clerk is great, but the real heartwrenching moment is when she confronts Michael on what he has to do to get the job done. "Do you really think it's about the money!" is a killer line, and really sells us on the motivations behind Michael Weston and why he wants his old job back so badly. Everything works out in the end, but we'll see if this has any character repercussions down the line. Good job, Burn Notice!

How The Office Ruined Thursday

2010-01-22T05:45:00.002-06:00

I was all set for some new Thursday love, but The Office had to go and ruin it with a clip show. Okay, Computron and Fake Stanley were funny, but still. Sigh...

Community was good tonight, putting the underutilized Troy into the spotlight with Britta as both of them were secretly taking...GASP...a dance class. I'd like to think that we as the tv watching public have moved past the "boys can't enjoy dancing" storyline, and yet here it is. I was hoping for something different with the ending, but nope, there's Troy prancing in to save the day. Jeff and the hot Statistics teacher (okay, I'm going to start taking notes next week, I promise) have become an item, which leads to a funny bit about the official student/faculty relationship form, but then goes right back into tired cliche mode by having Jeff get spooked by the term "boyfriend". At least it doesn't drag on, and it does lead to a stunned Britta on stage watching Jeff and Slater (yes, Slater! I remembered!) hold hands and be all couple-y. Well, I don't know whether to be happy that the Jeff/Britta storyline is going somewhere, or be sad that it's back, since the show was doing so well without it. Also, not nearly enough Annie.

30 Rock had some fun with Boston thanks to a Miami road show that got hijacked by a lornlorn Jack Donaghy. The digs at Boston were funny, and Tracy going off on Fake John Hancock for being racist was the highlight of the show, especially the "Patriots suck!" bit near the end. As much as I like Julianne Moore, and her accent, that storyline seems to be way too choppy. Whether it's due to Moore's availability or what, it still makes it harder to get into it. The rest of the episode was pretty average with Liz having to make up a fake NBC exec in order to keep the rest of the TGS team from revolting. In the end, all that happens is Lutz gets a little too much screen time. Not the best episode, which is disappointing after last week.

Darn you Comedy Thursday! I am, on the other hand, really looking forward to Conan's last show. Not because it's the last show, but I'm interested to see how he goes out. Team CoCo!

Castleverage!

2010-01-21T06:56:00.003-06:00

Yes, they are so good, I've combined them into one delicious block of awesomeness.

Castle: What an episode! Tying the murder to Beckett's mom's killer came pretty much out of nowhere (well, except for last week's preview), and it made an average case much better. Not a lot of detection going on, although the Johnny Vong running gag was funny. It was the last few minutes of the episode that really sold it. The realization of the real killer, Castle putting his own money up to help catch the killer, Castle taken hostage, Castle's headbutt-fu, Beckett performing CPR on the killer at the end...great moments all, and the little coda with Castle and Beckett added a little more to their relationship without it going into "I love you, smoochy time!" territory. Plus, now we have the "who got Beckett's mom whacked?" question to carry us through the rest of the season.

Leverage: Awesome awesome awesome episode. Backstory on Nate, two cons in an hour and a half's time, hot redhead client...all the bases covered, and then some. Plus, instead of a shoehorned in Sophie appearance (seriously, I love Gina Bellman, but I'm ready for her to be back full time), we get Nate drinking again. Lot of stuff to take in, and only a few more episodes of Season 2.5 to do it in. Loved the reveal at the end, loved the loan shark's bastardization of the Leverage motto, loved the hiding places for the "emergency fund", loved the fat guard who ran away from Elliot. This is the episode to show people when they ask "is this show any good?". Because, yes it is good.

Scrubs and Better Off Ted: Both pretty darn good this week, with Scrubs finding a good groove with its med students, and Turk and Cox becoming a great duo. BOT, meanwhile, had a bagel tossing game and the very unsettling scenes of two people having sex via a translator programmed with Phil's voice. Really funny scene though, and worth watching for that alone. Actually, that was about the bulk of the episode, but it doesn't matter, it paid off and thus was worth it. Thursday comedies up next, and that'll be the week.

NBC Monday Disappoints Me, But Not For The Obvious Reason...

2010-01-19T06:36:00.002-06:00

With nothing of note happening on Sunday (because I just can't bring myself to care about 24 anymore), Monday had some big shoes to fill. Fortunately, we had a Neil Patrick Harris-directed episode of How I Met Your Mother to start me off with.

"Jenkins" was a fairly innocuous episode, not advancing much of the plot, but it was a much needed Marshall/Lily episode. Marshall has some of the best bits of the show; tonight it was stopping off at a college bar to defend his 2009 Skeeball title (as "Big Fudge"), and then freaking out over being the Reacher and not the Settler in his relationship. Unfortunately, since NPH was behind the camera, the episode suffered from a distinct lack of Barney. Guest star Amanda Peet (who ruined Studio 60, there I said it) filled in admirably, albeit only as a catalyst for the Reacher/Settler story. The only payoff to the storyline was Lily calmly taking off her scarf and earrings as Marshall and Jenkins relate the story of the kiss, then Lily goes total MMA on Jenkins, making Marshall feel loved...and scared. Very scared.

The other half of the episode was Ted discovering that his students all watch Robin's morning show specifically for the "But,um" drinking game. As someone who knows a "But, um'er", I was more amused by this than I had any right to be. The ending was ripped straight from the "24 drinking game"(where people would drink every time Jack Bauer says "Dammit"), and how Keifer Sutherland discovered the game's existence and made it a point to ad lib a few extra "dammit"s per episode, to help get the kids good and wasted. Decent episode, but a little bit of a letdown after last week.

Now for NBC. I'm man enough to admit it: I liked Heroes this week. Not a lot, and it was solely because they led with their one-two punch: Hiro and Sylar. Granted, the quality was drug down, mostly due to Claire, Samuel, and the borderline stupidity of the Hiro storyline.

Hiro: Passes out in Bennett's apartment and dreams a trial for his crimes against the space time continuum. Bonus points for bringing back Hiro's father and Adam Monroe. Extra bonus points for Hiro's mom and the sword fight with Hiro and Adam. Minus a few points for the deus ex machina of Hiro's mom curing his cancer (or whatever the hell happened...was it surgery, was it magic...I no longer trust this show to answer anything satisfactorily), but I'm just happy that the brain tumor stuff is out of the equation now. Granted, the cynic in me is dreading the next terrible way that they'll de-power Hiro again, but at least we got this one good moment out of it.

Sylar: Only Zachary Quinto can make long scenes with Claire seem interesting, and he deserves a medal and a raise for pulling it off tonight. Long story short, after a heart to heart (and then heart to shapeshifted heart) chat with Claire (and I do mean long), Sylar realizes that getting rid of his ill-gotten powers may be the key to happiness (spoiler alert: it won't), and Claire realizes that she's totally gay for Gretchen (spoiler alert: I still won't care). The last scene with Sylar popping up at Parkman's house was nice, even if it does mean more Parkman.

Samuel: Oh geez, all of this carnival crap was so that he can re-enact Hallmark cards with good old whatshername? Great, now Samuel is finally "all evil", and it's for spurned love? What a steaming pile. This can only get worse now that most of the side quests are ending and we appear to be gearing up for the slow plod to the season (please be series) finale.

Finally, since Castle wasn't uploaded in time, I decided to give Chuck another try. My history with Chuck goes like this: I watched it, was amused for a while, got more and more annoyed by the repetitive storylines, then gave up on it early into season 2. However, with the media blitz (and Seth Meyers had it right, NBC is riding Chuck to success or failure this year), I decided to give it another shot. And guess what, it's right back where it was when I quit on it.

Here's what I didn't like about Chuck:

-The Buy More. The characters there were all fairly unlikeable, and the storylines there just seemed to exist to kill time or to awkwardly dovetail into the main plot.

-Morgan. One of the more unlikeable characters in television history.

-Chuck himself. One of my television pet peeves is the "eternally reluctant hero". Every week seemed like the same thing; he's got these abilities (the Intersect), he doesn't want them, he sucks at using them, then he reluctantly does it by the end of the episode, rinse and repeat next week.

The first episode of this season has Chuck growing a big homeless guy beard after breaking up with Sarah in order to be a spy, then sucking so much at being a spy that he gets kicked out. The conceit for this season seems to be that Chuck doesn't just "flash" on information anymore, he can also flash new abilities, so it's just Season 1 again with the occasional kung fu fight. At this point, it's just Greatest American Hero (nerdy hero with unstable abilities he can't control; love interest and grizzled spy as partners) done badly. Even better, they manage to reboot everybody back to the Buy More too, putting everything I disliked about the show right back where it was in the first place. I may give it another couple of episodes, see if they manage to evolve the concept, but I'm not looking forward to it.

Happily, there's a new Castle to look forward to, plus more Scrubs and Better Off Ted. Also, new Leverage this week (and I've made at least one convert since last week).

Thursday is Here! Everybody Grab Your Favorite Japanese Body Pillow!

2010-01-15T06:09:00.003-06:00

Good night tonight from NBC Thursday; combining strong stories with some well-placed guest stars.

First off is Community, which featured frequent Dan Harmon collaborator Jack Black as Buddy, a heretofore unnoticed member of the Spanish class (with funny flashbacks) who wants to join their study group. Jeff takes over the student newspaper, with Annie as his ace newshound, while Abed attempts to groom him in his new persona as the Hawkeye Pierce of the group. Abed's pop culture fixation would be grating on another show, but Community allows him to follow his pop culture asides to the absurdist end, leading to Jeff wearing Hawaiian shirts and Abed building him a still. Other funny bits were Pierce's new collection of ironically funny t-shirts, Buddy's bit about throwing off the group's rhythm being interrupted by the opening credits song, and then the kicker at the end; Owen Wilson as the leader of the "cool" study group that Buddy really wanted to join.

Instead of The Office, we get a double shot of 30 Rock, which knocked it out of the park on both pitches. First, Jack and Kenneth break into Nancy's (Julianne Moore as Jack's high school love) place to retrieve a drunken New Year's message, then Liz's recently outed (by her) gay nephew comes to New York to visit (and party), and finally, Tracy is having a daughter and must now reevaluate his views about women. Oh, and Jenna is fake dating James Franco in order to throw the media off of his alleged relationship with a Japanese body pillow. And that's just the first episode. The episode had its hits and misses, but the ending with Liz's threeway with James and Kameiko-chan was the best moment of the night.

The second episode revolves around Danny, the new guy on TGS, and Liz and Jack's war for his affections. BLACK LIGHT ATTACK! Tracy invites a woman into his entourage, Jenna is forced to embrace her true age, and we meet "Tom", Liz's mustache. Tina Fey does an amazing job at continually "uglying herself up" for gags, by the way. Toofer's diatribe about the strategy behind Quidditch (while at a hockey game) was a great throwaway joke, and it's good to see more of the writers.

In all, great night of television, although I can't wait for The Office to come back. Dollhouse should be wrapping up this week, so I'll get ready for that big Dollhouse marathon and some thoughts on the series.

Wednesdays Are Of Moderate Importance!

2010-01-14T06:21:00.003-06:00

Okay, not as exciting as "Mondays Are Huge", but Wednesdays just got better starting this week with the returns of Leverage and Tosh.0. Tosh.0 isn't exactly reinventing the wheel, and I prefer Web Soup, but Daniel Tosh is funny and engaging plus the show delves a little deeper into the clips they show, and thus it's worth your thirty minutes.

Leverage, on the other hand, has grown into one of my favorite shows, and it's great to see it back on. This is the second half of Season 2, so we're only getting 6 episodes before the wait for Season 3. Still, six episodes of Leverage is six hours of love and warmth, so I'll take it.

The basic premise of the show: Timothy Hutton plays Nathan Ford, a former insurance fraud investigator whose job it was to track down thieves, con artists, etc. He put together a team of expert thieves to play Robin Hood and go after bad guys and help good people. It's a basic premise, and the BBC series "Hu$tle" did the same thing very well (worth tracking down, by the way). With the longer American seasons, we get a lot more character development, and the characters and the humor are where Leverage departs from the shadow of Hu$tle and becomes its own show.

The characters: Nate Ford is the Mastermind, the guy who runs the cons and changes plans on the fly when things go badly. Season one was about him being full of anger at his former employers, who refused to pay for an experimental treatment for his dying son. This sent him spiraling into alcoholism, something he has (seemingly) kicked for season two. He has a former relationship with...

The Grifter: Sophie (aka, many other identities), played by Gina Bellman of "Coupling" (and other things which I haven't seen). She's the heart/mom of the team, currently semi-written out because she got all impregnated and stuff. Then there's

The Hacker: Aldis Hodge as Harrison, the tech nerd of the group. He's the guy who creates the cover identities for the cons, and one of the great Easter Eggs for fans is for them to try and figure out where the names come from, and how they're linked to the episode.

The Hitter: Christian Kane as Elliot, the "heavy" of the group. Has gotten a lot more backstory than some of the others, but he's a great character. The fight scenes on this show have been well crafted, and he executes them well.

The Thief: Beth Riesgraf as Parker, the world's best (and most dysfunctional) cat burglar. Socially retarded and unbearably adorable.

Also in these episodes is Jeri Ryan (Seven of Nine) as Sophie's temporary replacement. She's not only hot, but also helps newcomers get acquainted with the dynamics of the regular team.

I really don't want to get too into the show here, as seeing the relationships and characters evolve over the course of the season is part of the charm of the series. The extra bonus is that writer/co-creator John Rogers breaks down every episode on his excellent blog, Kung Fu Monkey (kfmonkey.blogspot.com), as well as answer questions from fans. As a future television writer, being able to look inside the process is incredibly interesting, plus Rogers is a great storyteller. Anyway, I'll give you all a week to watch, catch up with some previous episodes, and then I'll be reviewing episodes on a regular basis starting next week.

Scrubs and Better Off Ted have been on ABC a LOT over the holidays; I assume ABC is trying to get all the episodes aired before LOST comes back next month. I like that I'm getting to watch these episodes, I just worry about either show being able to find an audience with such a truncated airing schedule. Both shows have potential, and work well paired with each other. It'd be a shame for either one of them to be canceled at this point.

Scrubs has been making a difficult transition from "Classic Scrubs" to "Scrubs: Med School", partially because some of the older characters have been eating up a little too much screen time. Don't get me wrong, I like the older characters, but it makes it hard to find a way to resonate with these new characters if JD keeps popping in. They've done a good job of finding new stories to tell with the new med students, and Turk and Cox have been great in their new role as teachers/mentors at Sacred Heart. JD was the heart of the show for eight years, but that role has to pass to Lucy for the viewers to be able to make the connection with her that they'll need to in order to build the audience. The jokes are still solid though, and the stories are still as strong as they ever were. There's definitely enough there to warrant another season.

Better Off Ted, meanwhile, really has their game plan in place, and executes it strongly every episode (I can't say"every week", because it's been on four times this week). It's a very well done workplace comedy that's been infused with a major dose of the quirky, and it balances out well. It's another show that would benefit from a steady time slot, as it's the kind of show that grows on you the more you watch it. The only concern is that there's not much room to grow with the concept, so if they ever run out of stories to tell, it'll go downhill fast. As of now though, I can see it easily going another two seasons so long as the ratings are there.

Finally, I need to roll back to Sunday and the Simpsons 20th Anniversary special. In 3-D. On Ice! The episode wasn't that great, unfortunately, although Anne Hathaway is a good guest star for them, and I wouldn't mind her as a semi-regular on the cast. Still, not the strongest thing to roll out there before a 60 minute documentary about how great you are.

So this documentary. First off, I'm not a fan of Morgan Spurlock, and so the more he was in it, the more annoyed I got. I don't know how much money they paid him, but they got robbed. They sat down with Simpons voice actors, future and current writers and producers, Matt Groening, even Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Mike Judge, and Seth Macfarlane, yet only gave us brief snippets from them. Instead, we waste time by having Spurlock go globetrotting to give us fairly uninteresting pieces on Simpsons merchandise collectors, a trip to the "real Springfield" in Oregon, and a minor squabble about Groundskeeper Willie's hometown. Give me 30 minutes of Groening in a room with Parker, Stone, Judge, and Macfarlane, and I'm sold. It was a documentary that tried to everything and accomplished nothing (except reminding us that Morgan Spurlock is still alive and collecting air miles). The best bits would barely have filled a half hour slot, so they'd better not be holding a lot of good deleted footage for a DVD release.

The return of Thursday Comedy Night is tonight, so set those DVR's, or whatever it is you people use to watch television on.

The Return of Big Monday Entertainment!!!

2010-01-12T06:20:00.002-06:00

That's right kids, Monday's are huge here on GtT, and tonight was the return of How I Met Your Mother, Castle, and that other show.

Castle leads us off tonight, because I actually watched it live tonight. I've been looking forward to this thanks to the Twitter account of one Senor Nathan Fillion, who has been positively giddy about working with Alyssa Milano for this episode. Apparently the Double Captain has a wish list of people he'd like to have guest star on Castle, and everyone's favorite witch/daughter of the Boss made the cut. The case itself was decent, as a bridesmaid turns up dead the day of Alyssa's (aka, Kyra) wedding, which gives us lots of time with her in a wedding dress looking just spectacular. Castle and Kyra used to be an item, which pays off with a great picture of Young Nathan and Young Alyssa together. Most likely Photoshopped, although I like to think that they worked together in their salad days and saved a snapshot. A BOY CAN DREAM, DAMMIT!

So yes, Beckett has the federally mandated amount of jealousy towards the former flame, but the case wraps itself up with the expected number of twists, and a slightly softer side of good old Rick. Worth watching just for the opener, with Castle having to free himself from being duct taped into a chair (on purpose). Also, since I watched it live, I got to watch the preview for next week's episode, which promises to reopen the matter of the murder of Mom Beckett. Having The Bachelor as a lead-in doesn't hurt either (and good work following The Bachelor with a wedding themed episode, oh magical ABC elves).

How I Met Your Mother celebrated it's 100th episode tonight, and really loaded it up for the longtime fans. The main plot was Barney having to give up suits to score with hot bartender Stacy Keibler, but we also got a big step closer to The Mother, as Ted meets The Mother's roommate up at school and dates her. I really dug the scene at dinner where the roommate is complaining about all the things The Mother does, as Future Ted keeps stopping the story to talk about how he loves each of those things. It's a sweet moment that this show specializes in.

Barney's bartender conquest leads to a funny Tim Gunn cameo, and then the much ballyhooed musical number that closes out the show. And wow, what a musical number. I already knew that NPH (Gay Man of the Decade, for the record) has the musical chops, but I was still impressed by the performance. HIMYM needed a "Ted" episode, and it delivered. NPH directed episode 101, so I can't wait for that.

Heroes was the last thing I watched, and even though it delivered more than it has in a while, it still managed to annoy me. Hiro finally gets some screen time, hatching a plan to get himself committed to the asylum in Florida where he hid Mohinder two months ago so that he can break Mohinder out. Lucky for them, it has the worst security in the history of anyplace that has ever needed security. Ando is able to Hadouken the doors at will, and fiddle around with the drugs on the cart (given out during visiting hours, why not?) without any interference from the orderlies (I'm sorry, Stormtroopers). He does have to pop Mohinder's pill though, leading to Wacky Ando Shenanigans. Honestly, the thing that pissed me off the most about this part was the "zany Hiro/Ando music" in the background the entire time of the escape. It could have been a badass rescue scene, with Ando's Kamehameha Waves and Mohinder's Hulk strength, followed by Ando zapping Hiro back to normal. Instead, it looks like a damn circus act, and is just another reason why Masi Oka needs to jump to Big Bang Theory or something and stop with this nonsense on NBC.

I didn't even have time to be mad about the return of Mohinder, because Parkman is back too, being torn away from his live as Mr. Mom in order to help Bennett make contact with Samuel's...wife? Loved one? Stalkee? If they explained it, I damn sure missed it. Anyway, with Parkman involved, it's bound to get screwed up, and it ends with Vanessa in the hands of Samuel, Parkman telling Bennett to go home and get his house in order, and Bennett...actually going home and getting his house in order. Wow, that actually worked. He makes out with Blonde Agent, and starts to reconnect with Claire. Maybe there's hope for this show after all.

Oh wait, there's Peter and the Deaf Girl. Never mind. Peter talks to Deaf Girl about the compass marks, then Mom Petrelli comes in to screw everything up. Peter grabs her power, dreams about her playing cello in the carnival while Sylar stalks up behind her, then he wakes up and...smashes the cello! Way to FlashForward (oh hey, that show's still on?) Pete! Oh yeah, and Lydia can mentally contact Sylar, but that'd be way too cool to follow up on, so look for that to come back in a month or something. This week's Heroes falls somewhere between "Better than it has been" and "But that hasn't been very good since after Season 1".

Finally, I wanted to address NBC's total botching of the Conan/Leno situation. Plenty has been written about it, but I want to throw my ideas into the mix. Here's what I hope happens, in order:

A) Leno takes the classy way out, retiring from nightly television and clearing the way for Conan to continue letting the Tonight Show evolve into some really good television. Leno spends time spending his millions of dollars, writing new jokes, and eventually tapes an HBO special that shatters all kinds of records and leads to his own Broadway show. NBC, meanwhile, starts putting TELEVISION back on at 9PM.

B) Leno doesn't take the classy way out, and Conan skips out. The money is at Fox, but I'd love an hour of Coco on Comedy Central right after Jon and Stephen (or possibly before them). What he loses in money, he regains in cool factor, plus the outpouring of public support after his royal shafting. He'd still get the A-List guests, plus the awesome B and C-listers, and he'd have crazy amounts of creative control. The advertising rates would go through the roof.

C) Jeff Zucker is eaten by a tiger.

Either way, I hope the best for Conan, the middlest for Jay (I respect him, but he really needs to take a stand and help Conan out of this jam), and nothing but scorn for NBC. Well, for Zucker anyway. I can't lose my Thursday night 3/4 comedies.

Back soon with...something? I have two months to catch up on FlashForward, I'd like to marathon Dollhouse, and LOST comes back very soon. Mmm...LOST.

My holiday from Heroes

2010-01-11T06:15:00.003-06:00

Hey gang, I'm back from my hiatus, and ready for...ahh crap, Heroes.

Yes, Heroes was the first show back from the winter festivities, and it was a double-barreled blast of boring. As is easiest, I'll be breaking it down by characters:

First off, Hiro. The Jamaitian did some white guy voodoo on him, and he teleported out of the circus. He shows up in Japan, spouting random pop culture jargon, and stops the world's slowest purse snatching in front of the largest crowd of disinterested people ever. The cops deliver him to Ando, and several segments of tired "Oh hey, I think he's making comic book nerd references" later, they figure out he's supposed to go to Florida. That's it. That's two episodes of storyline for Hiro; he was in one place, and now he's going to another.

Claire: She's doing happy go lucky grunt work at the Sullivan Brother Carnival, then Lydia pulls into second place in the "Smartest Character on Heroes" contest by tricking Claire into walking into Dirt McGirt's trailer and seeing a Primatech box, instantly turning from "Idiot who walked eyes-wide-open into a cult" to "Idiot who is going to attempt some espionage, even though she's an idiot". Multiple Man won't leave her alone though, until she tricks him into an ambush at the *sigh* House of Mirrors. Then she leaves to go to Nathan's fancy military funeral and has a heart-to-heart chat with Peter.

Ahh Peter...now that Nathan is officially dead, he's decided for the 9th time to be more of a hero. His first heroic act, getting shot by a disgruntled office worker after his cunning plan to bore him to sleep with a long monologue doesn't work. Unfortunately, Claire eventually shares her power with him, so he's able to heal up and try to save the world some more, one long stare at a time.

In the only remotely cool thing that happened in this doubleheader of suck, Bennett gets the drop on Speedy McGonzales and Abu Ghirab's him in the freezer of a chinese restaurant. After beating the crap out of him (offscreen, of course) for information, he's just about to start carving him up when the ex-partner/future lover/current nap inducer changes his mind, and instead they play all nicey-nice to get the layout of the carnival. Unfortunately, Bannett says the word "normal" about 70 times in a 4 minute conversation, which spooks Speedy and he bails.

Samuel takes on the monumental task of attempting to make anyone give a rat's ass about Dr. Deafenstein (or if you prefer, Deaf-N-Furter), revealing that he sent her the cello (and showing the giant ass compass painted on the back, conveniently not shown to the audience before now...probably because the writers didn't think about it until just now), and then having her use it to play Pied Piper to a homeless hero with the power to encourage plant growth. Samuel and Gardener Guy go back to the carnival where they use their powers to create a suburban lawn. Fascinating stuff, for reals. For really reals.

Anyway, Sylar (Smartest person on Heroes, for the record...third place is a tie between Bennett and Sylar's baseball cap) finds out that he can't kill anymore. Instead, he uses whatever forgotten empathy crap to swipe Lydia's power, then he gets a sweet magic tattoo which turns out to be a picture of Claire. We end with Sylar outside of Claire's window, and the return of Chuck. It's a show I watched, fell out of love with, but everybody says it's gotten better. I'll believe it if I see it.

Anyway, new Heroes tonight, 100th episode of How I Met Your Mother, and some 20 years of Simpsons thoughts. Smell ya later.

Goodbye Finals, Hello Reruns...

2009-12-22T07:46:00.002-06:00

Finals are over, Winter break has begun. Unfortunately, so have reruns. The good news is, this gives me time to catch up on a few shows. I'm still woozy just thinking about FlashForward, so I'm going to attempt to catch up on Dollhouse, now that Fox is burning off the series in double scoops. Also, Scrubs and Better Off Ted are continuing to run over the holiday...not that it seems to be a good thing at this point. Damn you, ABC.

Better Off Ted was a little on the lame side this week, unfortunately, so I'm giving it an incomplete, mainly due to my inability to stay attuned to it. Scrubs, on the other hand, was a little better, so it gets a review.

The one question I had going into this "bonus" season was how they could keep the stories fresh while resetting the skill level of the doctors. To be honest, it's actually still going well. They've mostly removed the nurses from the equation, focusing on the teachers (Turk, JD, Cox), the students (whoever their names are...the blonde one, the other blonde one, Green Goblin's little brother, and the old one), and then Denise, who acts as a tweener for the two groups. Since the original seasons had a very tight Turk/JD relationship, this season is able to squeeze out some storylines by emphasizing that these new students are strangers flung together into a highly difficult situation. The teamwork theme of tonight's episode was well done for the most part. The JD/Turk stuff is getting reaaaaaally over the top though; it looks like they're just trying to milk the Zack Braff cow for every last drop before he bails for good. Ted's last hurrah was...I don't even know, to be honest. Just seems out of place for another good-bye when so many other characters have just been written off without having to have left Sacred Heart. At this point, I'm ready for JD and Kelso to go, keep Turk and Cox around as faculty, and then focus on the newbies for the rest of the season. It's very awkward right now, and it gets in the way of what is still some fairly sharp writing.

I've also been catching up on Veronica Mars, and I'm really digging the series. I'm almost halfway through Season 1, and I'm really regretting that it only lasted the three seasons now.

Russell got hosed. There, I said it.

Web Soup may be the best half-hour of humor on TV right now.

We'll see how much Dollhouse I can get through in the next week or so, let's have some Whedony goodness!

Sunday! Sunday! Monday!

2009-12-15T07:26:00.003-06:00

Studying for finals, was thinking about skipping the writeups for the last couple days, but the shows were just too good Sunday to skip.

Simpsons: Even after every terrible episode about a fad that happened three years ago, The Simpsons can still pull out an excellent story like this week's, an out of nowhere tale about Bart missing the bond that comes with having a brother. After a few "trick Homer and Marge into conceiving" gags that felt lifted from Family Guy (ironic in an episode with a direct South Park gag), bart goes to an orphanage to try and score a little brother, then winds up with one that followed him home. The shenanigans were fairly tame (no "the little brother is worse than Bart/they have to trick him into leaving" schtick that a lesser episode might have tried to pull), and the ending was bittersweet, with the kid having to leave, then getting adopted...by a family with six girls. I dug the little brother character though, and it wasn't a "hey look, here's a celebrity!" voice, which makes me wish they'd fold him into the library of minor characters. Speaking of celebrities, we got three Mannings and two Smothers in a great dream sequence (reminiscent of "Bart Sells His Soul"). Overall, possible the best episode they've done in a long time, and one that I'll think back on the next time I read the inevitable "The Simpsons needs to hang it up" article.

The Cleveland Show had their traditional Christmas episode this week (thankfully, not sponsored by Cascade), and they seem to be finding a groove with the storyline. Cleveland/Rallo is turning into the show's money pairing, as they provide the most (and best) conflict. The bit about Rawanda freeing the reindeer didn't pay off for her, although it did provide a funny runner through the rest of the episode, culminating in a nice mildly dark ending. The jokes are hitting, but how long can they milk the "two families becoming one" tension? Time will tell.

Family Guy: Not the most cohesive episode, pretty much a "something something Peter takes over Pewterschmidt Industries" plot, but there were some decent gags in there. Hugh Laurie as House was worth some giggles, and a good payoff in the end. An extended Scooby Doo homage was also very appreciated. An average episode, but on a night where everything else was above average to great.

American Dad: And speaking of great...wow. I almost don't want to talk about this too much, since everything was handled so flawlessly. Just...just watch it. It's on Hulu, it'll take you 25 minutes, and you'll thank me later. Watch it, and we can discuss it in the comments or something (yes, there's a place for comments...hint hint)

How I Met Your Mother: I don't smoke, so I'm sure I missed some hilarious subtleties about smoking and falling off the wagon and cold turkeys and whatnot. Robin's new co-anchor was funny (especially the lack of production elements on the set of her morning show), Lily's smoker voice was funny (the first couple times), the kids reactions to finding out their dad/dad's friends smoked (yes, the kids speak!), and especially Marshall repeatedly beating up his 13-year old self. Bob Odenkirk was a little wasted here, although here's hoping it pays off down the line. They may just be saving all the comedy juice up for the 100th episode (with musical numbers!), so HIMYM gets a pass this time.

Minor Housekeeping: FlashForward and Dollhouse I will be trying to get to next week when finals are over. I'm looking to catch up on Modern Family, as I've gotten a slew of recommendations for it. Better Off Ted and Scrubs will be new for a while, and I'm going to try and watch the first season of Veronica Mars and of Dexter over the holiday rerun period. We'll see how successful I am. Still, a fellow's got to have goals.

Thursday, Thursday, Thursday!

2009-12-11T02:42:00.003-06:00

Let's get right into it, as I have a couple other subjects I want to tackle too, and studying for finals. IT NEVER ENDS!!!

Community: Continues to impress me, as tonight's Shirley-centric episode managed to cast a wide net over religion, holidays, and still find room for Anthony Michael Hall as the best community college bully EVER. Shirley dismissing all other religions was some great comedy, as you can say pretty much anything you want as long as it comes out of a matronly black lady. "Hashbrowns and applesauce, how nice". Pierce's vague cult/religion made me laugh, everybody booing Jeff for being an agnostic made me laugh, the capoeira throwdown at the end of the episode was possibly a top ten moment for the year in comedy. This show does big comedy well, and little comedy (The "its December 10th" running gag, "winterdoodles", Britta's constant gay jokes referring to the bully and the fight) even better. I'm really looking forward to the spring semester for this show.

The Office: This was so close to being the biggest Christmas downer in sitcom history, with Michael's jealousy of Santa Phyllis threatening the entire holiday party. Even worse, Michael (in classic Michael Scott fashion) misinterprets news from David Wallace (who probably deserves to be fired for continuing to trust Michael with sensitive information) as the entire office being laid off. Instead, it's a minor Christmas miracle, as Dunder-Mifflin appears to be getting a new corporate overlord in the new year. Michael heckling the party as Jesus was one of the funnier gags in a while, even as unrealistic as it is (but hey, who still thinks it's a documentary at this point?". His moment where he apologized to Phyllis at the end was also a nice sweet moment before the holiday hiatus. I would also be remiss in not mentioning Andy's ill-fated attempt to give Erin the "Twelve Days of Christmas" as her Secret Santa. Just the visual of her at the work with those scratches on her face was just the right amount of over the top. Even better, he managed to swoop in and salvage the bit after the credits with his Twelve Drummers Drumming finale. The Office is truly a master at hitting humanity's highs and lows in the course of an episode.

30 Rock rounds us out for tonight, and it was helped greatly by a genius performance by Julianne Moore. If there was a remotely plausible way for her and her Boston accent to become a regular on the show, I would be the happiest boy alive. Romantic Jack has usually been good for the show, although I read earlier that Elizabeth Banks is supposed to be doing an arc as another love interest for Jack, so who knows where this will lead. I know one thing though, I can't get enough of Boston accents/references/slang. Elsewhere, Liz tries to find Jack the perfect Christmas present (aka, bomb threat phoned into the train station to keep Julianne Moore there another day), and the writers invent a religious holiday in order to avoid Kenneth's Secret Santa exchange (combining the two worst things about the holidays: giving and rules). All around fun episode where we get to see the new guy sing, Lutz get tased, and Liz gets a to ride on Larry Wilcox's motorcycle. No muss, no fuss, and nice to have a (mostly) one and done episode after the slow "new cast member" storyline.

More catching up!!!

2009-12-10T06:56:00.003-06:00

Top Chef: Poor poor Kevin, doing so well and then getting saddled with Preeti as a sous chef for the prep day. Was this the "let's not have a Voltaggio have to get saddled with Robin" decision, or a "we haven't had enough twists this season" decision? Either way, Kevin got hosed, not that it probably would have made a difference. He who lives by the pig, dies by the pig, and had his pork belly been properly cooked, he'd have had a better chance of making it through. Well, that and not serving a massive slab of mushroom-that-he-didn't-know-how-to-cook in his mystery box dish. Kevin and Richard Blais can go get drunk together and think about what might have been...

Meanwhile, Michael wins "Battle Voltaggio" and the title of Top Chef. Having the brothers finish 1-2 was pretty impressive, although the least suspenseful season ever, what with most people having predicted the final 4 somewhere around September. It's the blessing and curse of the increased talent of the contestant pool. The crap chefs are exposed very early (save for Robin), a fact that was glaringly obvious when you looked at someone like Preeti as opposed to Eli or Robin acting as a sous chef. I'm going to silently rage about that some more, actually. Way to go, Magical Elves. Okay, and I'm better now. Great season though, even with Robin's presence much longer than she deserved. Can't wait for the next one.

Scrubs: I've been cautiously optimistic about the return of Scrubs, especially after a great series finale. However, Bill Lawrence has said that this is simply a way for everybody on the show to keep their jobs for at least another year, which I can't argue with (seeing as how that's the industry I'm attempting to work in). Even better, the new concept works, making for some good television so far. The new concept is that Central Heart has been relocated next to a medical school, and the Sacred Heart staff are now among the teaching staff. Cox, Turk, and JD are the only main characters that are really back full time (Elliot showed up all preggers in the premiere and Carla is mentioned but not actually shown), but they were the stronger characters on the show, so it all works out. The new med students are interesting enough to carry their end, as we get a girl version of JD (which sounds redundant...and probably is), a cocky legacy kid (Dave Franco, the little brother of Spider-Man's friend), and an older former med school burnout. The trick is to present the standard "new doctor" stories in a way that doesn't feel too much like rehashed Scrubs Season 1, and they've been doing well so far. The fantasy sequences are still there, as are just plain bizarre elements (like JD keeping office hours on a tree branch). It just doesn't feel right without The Janitor, but I really like the new take on the JD/Cox relationship; giving them moments where they really are equals, although JD still craves the approval of Cox. It's an interesting enough spin on the original concept, so we'll see how long it can go.

Better Off Ted is also back, coupled with Scrubs on Tuesdays, and I'm really hoping that the show finds an audience. It's by the creator of Andy Richter Controls the Universe, which was criminally underrated and cancel much too soon. That same mix of eclectic behavior in a structured workplace environment is present in Better Off Ted, although with a slightly more accessible lead. Ted is generally the center of normalcy within the storm of quirks, and it keeps the show grounded in the midst of hijinks. Portia de Rossi steals any scene she's in, and the rest of the supporting cast holds their own. This is the only show I know of to successfully pull off a "separate drinking fountains" joke, so let that serve as my highest recommendation. Old episodes should be available on Hulu or ABC.com

My poor neglected blog...

2009-12-09T06:35:00.003-06:00

Ironic, that writing about TV for school has been preventing me from writing about TV for leisure. I'll be trying to catch up on the last couple of weeks of shows, plus finally catch up on FlashForward (even if it kills me). Also, there's new Scrubs, the return of Better Off Ted, and I "acquired" the first three seasons of Dexter, so I'm looking forward to digging into that. I'm also working on a post-mortem for Monk, which aired its series finale last week. For now though, let's knock out a few reviews and go from there.

House: The last two episodes have been pretty good, especially last week's "Wilson", which gave us more of our favorite oncologist than we've had in a while. Especially appreciated were the tiny glimpses of what House's weekly antics must look like from the outside; doing tests in the shower, tricking their way ahead of others to get into the OR, ill mariachi singers, etc. It's also always nice to see Aaron Sorkin All-Star Josh Molina again. It's also funny to see how House is starting to rub off on Wilson...even in a very tiny way. The Lucas/Cuddy storyline is innocuous enough, providing a little wrinkle in the House/Cuddy story, and giving House something to do. The Thanksgiving episode was really well done in that regard, so long as they don't backslide on it. "Wilson" was the better episode though, giving us character development and a nice departure from the Patient of the Week format.

Speaking of Wilson, Castle this week had an appearance from Cutthroat Bitch (Anne Dudek) as the ex-wife of an amnesiac murder suspect. I was digging the episode, as they didn't go the "his memory magically snaps back at the end" route, and left the reconciliation angle wide open. I honestly wouldn't mind seeing him come back later in the series, it was an interesting take on things. The mystery was well done as well, although the reveal was a little out of nowhere. Still, that screen time was well spent. The storyline with Mom Castle wasn't really doing it for me, but at least they've started making the character more than "Mona from Who's The Boss 2.0". Speaking of Who's The Boss, I also hear that Alyssa Milano will be making an appearance on the show coming up soon.

How I Met Your Mother has swing back around to Ted's love life, the central conceit of the show. The idea of "The Window" was amusing, and I have a friend (also a redhead) who has a similar dating pattern (although her window is slightly larger), so I was enjoying the episode on a few levels there. Barney in overalls, rattail Marshall, Robin trying to seduce that guy (spilling the wine was a great bizarre Robin moment), and Vanilla Thunder's inability to dunk. The time travel thing at the end really blew my mind though. Really. Like, LOST levels of mind-blowing.

Next time: Scrubs 2.0, Better Off Ted, and I give Heroes a tiny shred of praise.

Thanksgiving Ahoy!

2009-11-25T06:43:00.002-06:00

Got the Monday updates ready (just a smidge late), and it was mostly feast, just a little bit of fowl.

***Note: I take full responsibility for the above pun, mostly because it refers to Heroes being crap***

How I Met Your Mother: Slapsgiving 2!!! The reverberations from "Slap Bet" continue to be awesome, as Marshall grants Slap #4 to Ted and Robin on a very special Thanksgiving. The greatness of Chris Elliot shows up as Lily's dad, although I was hoping for a little more from him. The string of failed board game ideas was funny, but other than the running gag of Lily's "Dead To Me" stare, he was mostly just hanging out and annoying people. Just seemed a little too tidy for him to pop in and be forgiven by the end of the episode...although as a sitcom, I suppose it was slappropriate to the situation. Ted and Robin's negotiation over who gets the slap was pretty funny, as was Barney working the clock to try and get out of it. Marshall's grand plan to get everybody back to together was a little thin, although in the context of the Slap Bet and the Power of the Slap, it works. There were a lot of nice little moments in the episode too, which brought the quality up some more. The scene in the deli where Lily makes the widow cry was such a well played piece of comedy. The commercial at the end for "Slap Bet" the board game was ten times funnier than it had any right to be, mainly for the kid-on-kid violence.

Castle: The first half of the episode was treading some Law and Order waters, but it picked up with the industrial espionage angle, then the counterspying, THEN the fraud at the end. The twists in the back half made for more compelling television, but at the expense of the first half. Castle's actions, reaction, and expressions only go so far (although they do go a loooong way, don't get me wrong). The subplot with Alexis volunteering at the NYPD was decent, mainly for the great visual of her in her "Beckett outfit", but the finale of that storyline made up for the slowness at the beginning. Loading up the back half of the show is dangerous territory, especially with Dancing With the Stars about to be over, and Castle losing its big lead-in. Still, I think the audience is built by this point. An "Alexis in law enforcement" storyline would be welcome, I just don't think it plausibly works out with her current age. Alas.

Heroes: This week's episode was a three-way dance for "Worst Thanksgiving Gathering Ever", featuring The Petrellis, The Bennetts, and the Carnies. Let's go to the Tale of the Tape:

The Petrellis: "Nathan", Peter, and the Cryptkeeper. Way ahead on "starkest location", but they lose points for the catered meal. Angela spends a couple scenes flat out lying about Dead Nathan, then just reverses course on it. Wasn't Peter there? Or did he get Parkman'd? Also, didn't Nathan have a wife and kids? I'd go look it up, but if Tim Kring doesn't care enough to mention it, then neither do I. Things pick up late when Sylar comes out to play, but unless he cut open Kobayashi's brain, I'm not interested. Sylar goes to slice open Angela's head (what is this, attempt #3?), but Nathan's mind takes over again and stops him.

The Bennetts: Claire and Noah, then ex-wife Sandra, her new boyfriend (who is undoubtedly fielding several "child molester" auditon requests after this), two annoying yappy dogs, the ghost of Chuck Cunningham...I mean Lyle, and then HRG's amnesiac Saturday Night Thing from the Primatech days. Oh yeah, and then just when the awkwardness level couldn't get any higher, they fire Gretchen at us again. I guess the faces at the table were too symetrical or something. Par for the course for this show, nothing actually happens over the course of these scenes. Claire whines a little more about quitting school, then raises the emo bar by running a steak knife through her forearm. This storyline has tryptophan beat hands down for inducing drowsiness. Oh yeah, and then Claire steals the compass and decides to go on a road trip to find MagnetO'. It'll be just like Crossroads, only without all that...no, it'll be exactly like Crossroads.

The Carnies: Finally we come to something resembling a storyline...comparatively speaking. Lydia talks Hiro into taking her back to eight weeks ago to watch Samuel off Joseph...you know, for the 3 people at home who hadn't figured it out about a million episodes ago. Samuel (who never met an overblown dinner speech he didn't like) realizes that Lydia knows, and decides to accuse Edgar of the murder. Hiro, who sure is using his powers a lot for SOMEONE WITH A BRAIN TUMOR), saves him, then tries to play hardball with the Dirt Devil to get Charlie back. Unfortunately, Hiro gets Jamatian'd. However, since this guy is no Rene, Hiro starts babbling about something and disappears.

So final score...we'll give it to the Carnies. Sylar's pie-eating contest scored some points, but more story happened at the CarnEvil. Besides, they could use a win before Claire shows up and drags them down to Boring Character Hell with her. Claire is the new Parkman, you heard it here first.

Top Chef, Comedies, and Cod?

2009-11-20T07:01:00.002-06:00

Nope, no cod. But hey, feel free to share this site with your friends. The more, the merrier (and maybe I can Google Ad this bizznatch, ya know?) For now though, let's watch some TV.

Ahh, that was fun. Now let's write about some TV.

Top Chef: Poor Eli...I figured he was doomed, but he definitely didn't seem like the worst chef of the evening. This definitely seemed like a "let's make good television" decision, rather than a "let's advance the best four performers of the night" decision. Very sneaky editing tonight, as they made it look like anyone could have gone home tonight (well, except Kevin...let's not kid ourselves). I wish they hadn't waited until Eli's final episode to mention the Blais connection. Also, how great would it have been to see Blais, Hung, maybe one or two other former contestants, in this elimination challenge? For every "make a dish with this microwave rice" challenge that drives me crazy, they surprise us with such a pure food challenge like this and just make me love them even harder. I really thought we could see a Voltaggio go tonight, but they deigned to pull the trigger, and so Eli's good run comes to an end. Napa Valley final four next week, and after tonight it doesn't look likely that ANYONE will overtake Kevin.

Community: Another strong episode tonight, as Ken Leong moves to the forefront and knocks one out of the park. The mandatory NBC Green Week stuff wasn't too invasive, and the show settled into what it does best; pair them off and go to town. This week's couples: Jeff and Senor Chang, Shirley and Pierce, and the always strong Troy and Abed. Sorry Britta and Annie, you get a week mostly off. The Shirley/Pierce story was fairly lightweight, as was Abed and Troy (although Troy screaming on the table like a little girl was worth the price of admission alone), so Jeff and Senor Chang got the most to do, and they made the most of it. The bit at the end with the Celtic band, Senor Chang's dance of love with his wife, and Abed and Troy's duet on "Somewhere Out There" (and of course they name their rat Fievel) all coming together was very well done.

The Office: The Dunder Mifflin Bankruptcy storyline continues as Michael Scott takes a group up to the stockholders meeting in NYC and Jim stays back in Scranton to try and get some work done. This is actually a great strategy for The Office at this point; splitting the cast up lets some people have screen time that would normally get shafted. In this case, it's Michael putting his foot in his mouth while trying to placate a room full of angry stockholders (and Dwight), while Jim asserts his co-authority (and puts Ryan in his place) back home. I really liked the scene where Michael drags Oscar in with all the D-M honchos and Oscar wilts under the pressure. Otherwise, this wasn't much of an episode, just getting the pieces into place for wherever this story is going.

30 Rock: Oh the delicious irony; a "Studio 60" cast member guest stars on 30 Rock. I'd like to see more of him though, he was entertaining. Liz's storyline was a little inside for those of us who don't live in New York City, but her following advice from Jenna definitely made for some funny. Jack and Tracy is also a pairing that doesn't happen as much, and it led to A) An appearance by Dr. Spaceman and B) A great Cosby Show hallucination. Kenneth's Mandatory Green Week storyline was pretty much a waste, save for the parts about how Frank's disgusting lifestyle is actually the most carbon neutral thing on the show. Decent Al Gore cameo at the end as well. Overall, enjoyable, but could have been better without the Green Week stuff shoehorned in.

Pimpin' Ain't Easy/"Mohinder" is Hindu for "Exposition"

2009-11-17T05:46:00.002-06:00

Wow, Castle was genius tonight! Kudos to the writers on this one, as they managed to surprise me with this episode. Not in the standard "OMG Twist!" way either, but with a great character moment.

The plot starts out well enough; DA gets murdered, suspect list leans strongly towards someone he put away having a grudge, then it takes a twist...the DA was also running a call girl ring. Not bad, standard Law and Order twist, nothing earth-shattering. One of the call girls (Scarlett) worked in the DA's office, and tells Castle and Beckett that Jack Knox (one of the earlier suspects) was the one who killed the DA. Still standard. Then the girl shows up at Castle's place, all smacked around. They have a heartfelt moment, Castle drops her off at the hospital, then shows up back at the police station to surprise Beckett with a solved case and throw off a couple of witty quips. Instead, Castle has f'ed up royally, and Beckett lets him know it. The "outsider with a specific skill set helps the police" setup is all over TV right now, but this is one of the first I've seen that actually plays off the downsides of having an enthusiastic amateur running around with the professionals, and it does it in such a one-two gutpunch of reveals: that Knox checked Scarlett out of the hospital, and then her panicked phone call to Castle. The next scene has Castle decked out in his "WRITER" Kevlar vest, only the visual doesn't seem as funny anymore. Scarlett manages to shoot Knox and everyone lives happily ever after...except that Scarlett played EVERYBODY and is running the call girl ring. Almost one twist too many, as leaving it with Scarlett as the victim and Castle having learned a lesson would have been a pretty ballsy way to end the episode. The extra twist ending was by no means bad though. Great show, great acting all around.

Heroes, on the other hand, was merely adequate at best. After weeks of threatening, Mohinder finally comes back, and we get a tedious set of flashbacks as he uncovers a rare copy of "Exposition: The Motion Picture", and we finally start digging into Samuel's story...or what little there is of it. He was born at Coyote Sands, he has the ability to get more powerful when surrounded by supers, but he doesn't know it until two months ago. We also get to meet his brother Joseph, who has been keeping the secret of Samuel's powers from him all their lives. Nice to finally know it, but way too late to really make me care. Hiro goes back in time, gets the film, saves Mohinder (dammit), and then sticks Mohinder in a psychiatric hospital. If it's that easy, why not stick Samuel in there, then threaten to leave him in there forever if he doesn't tell him where Charlie is? Oh yeah, that would require good writers. Never mind.

Peter and Nathan continue to bore me, Parkman "probably" gets rid of Sylar in his head, Peter says "Screw Hiro" and swaps healing for flying, and Nathan just counts the days until he's written off the show for good.

Oh, and Claire and Tracy have a pointless pajama party. Meh.

How I Met Your Mother had a nice standalone episode (or as standalone as this show can get), as Barney decided to bounce back from his breakup by digging out: The Playbook.

HIMYM's strength lies in how their characters can have all of these complicated rituals, references, and lists; and The Playbook is another in that great tradition. It's a book detailing all of Barney's elaborate ways of lying to score with chicks. Best one: The Ted Mosby (dressing like Ted and telling women he was left at the altar). One most likely to become our Pub Trivia name: The Lorenzo von Matterhorn. Barney finishes with an epic "The Scuba Diver", and has grown absolutely zero as a person by the end of the episode. Robin, on the other hand, is given a wisp of a storyline in which she claims she'll be putting relationships on the back burner to focus on her job, followed by the Greek chorus of Ted and Marshall telling her that that statement is usually the last thing said before someone gets married. And in the final scene of the episode, she meets the hunky new co-anchor. Huzzah! Anyway, great palate cleanser of an episode after all of the Barney/Robin relationshippyness.

Animation Devastation

2009-11-16T06:47:00.002-06:00

The Sunday cartoons were all terrible tonight. Just terrible. They all made me sad, every last one of them. I'll need some time to recover.

FlashForward is coming eventually.

If you know someone who watched all four FOX animated programs this Sunday, give them a hug: they need it.

Two By Two, Hands of Blue...

2009-11-13T06:35:00.002-06:00

Huzzah, I finally caught up on FlashForward...not counting tonight's episode. But hey, two episodes in one night isn't bad, especially considering the glacial pace this show likes to take. It's like going to the water park; a long long wait, followed by a short burst of excitement.

The Halloween episode was notable for a couple of things, mainly a couple of cryptic appearances by Charlie as...well, as Daniel actually. Only this one choked a guy in in his flash forward. Also, the Binfords all get together in the kitchen with Simco and all the cards get thrown onto the table., including the drinking. The Binfords are becoming the weakest part of this show, to be honest. At least the kids were a little entertaining, although them being friends because they met in their flash forward is a little creepy. Mark chasing the kids in the masks was an obvious red herring, and it took too much screen time to get to the non-reveal.

On the other hand (unintentional, I swear), the Blue Hand is our Dharma Collective of the moment, providing a pretty creepy moment in that house, and an even creepier one in the next episode ("The Gift", for those keeping score). At least they've finally shown us the inevitable scenario; that some kind of community would pop up for the "ghosts", post-Blackout. Demitri (and by the way, "Dem" is the worst nickname for someone EVER) finally tells his fiancee about his actual flash forward and all that entails.

Honestly, this felt like a loooooooooot of setup, and then finally a payoff at the end of "The Gift", as Al plays a game of chicken with the future, and takes a long walk off a tall roof and kills himself, negating his own flash forward. What this means for everyone else on the show will hopefully be addressed soon (probably the episode I didn't get to), and provides an interesting contrast with the Ghosts. After all, you've got people who don't know how/when they'll die, only that they definitely will by the end of April, so they don't have to worry about the future. Then there's Al, who knows enough about his future to already feel guilty about it, but not enough to definitely prevent it. Thus, the swan dive. Although really, I doubt Al is the first Blackout victim to off himself to prevent the future he saw, and it's something that should have been addressed sooner.

Also, Janice is okay, Nicole speaks Japanese, Beardy is still sad...and his daughter shows up in the kitchen? Well, now I really have to watch this damn episode.

What did I watch instead? Thursday night comedies, baby!

Community: Keeps getting better, as the show doesn't seem to care about striking a balance between weird and normal, and just embraces a pendulum-like swing back and forth between the two sides. Jeff and Annie's weird coupling continues as Jeff dusts off the lawyer skills to help Annie win a debate tournament. Oh, and they kiss. And Soul Patch Wheelchair guy is great.

Pierce and Britta get a brief B story, which is more of a showcase for Chevy Chase's ability to still take a fall. Abed can tell the future, sorta, and Shirley and Troy don't get much to do. Still, it's a strong ensemble and their turns will come, it's just off-putting to have characters come and go like that. I'm really interested to see what happens with the Jeff and Annie "thing", and as unpredictable as this show seems to be, it could be any number of things. Good work, Community.

The Office: A very very weird episode, but a very telling one when its all said and done. Dunder Mifflin faces possible bankruptcy, so Michael attempts the mother of all distractions, one of those asswhip "Host Your Own Murder" party kits. Just really bizarre all around, but the accents were a good running gag, especially the payoff when it turns out that Oscar can't do accents. Andy and Erin are a sweet couple, even though they aren't a couple yet...kind of like a very naive version of Jim and Pam. Speaking of Jim, his conversion to the Michael Scott way of doing things continues, as he chooses to keep the murder party going, rather than drop the very stark news about Dunder Mifflin. I can only imagine where they're going with this one, to be honest.

30 Rock: The streak of good episodes ticks up to two, as the show goes with it's strong suits: Liz and Jack, with a strong dose of Jenna and Tracy being crazy. It's funny how the Dealbreakers show is starting to mirror Tina Fey's own transition from SNL head writer to creator and star of her own show. Nice sandwich bag bit from Padma Lakshmi, and I'm liking Jack/Danny, the new Canadian cast member. Aren't we about due for an appearance from Dr. Spaceman?

Almost caught up to where I want to be, and then I'm hunting down the rest of Veronica Mars season one as well.

Your Mom! (And How I Met Her)

2009-11-12T06:45:00.003-06:00

Brought to you by Archi-SEX-ture, coming this Tuesday to DVD and Blu-Ray...

Well, I didn't see the breakup episode coming at this point in the season, so good on the HIMYM team for popping the chute earlier than later. I have a suspicion that Barney and Robin aren't totally finished as a couple though. The pairing is just too good to keep apart, so they have to at least stay Scotch buddies or something. I guess it is time to swing back to Ted for a while. The scene in the Stakeout Wagon was some classic HIMYM, which seems to get funnier the more cramped the setting is. Just Ted's reactions to the pizza guy would have made for a great episode. This was about as single-subject as this show gets, but it did give us the full denouement of the end of the Barbin coupling in one half hour, which was for the best. So many great bits in this episode...Barney in the fat suit, Alan Thicke, Barney and Robin's half assed reaction to the engagement ring, the return of the Kraken...and they gave us a preview of our Christmas present with the promise of more Robin Sparkles shenanigans. It's like a warm TV hug.

Top Chef gave us a gift too, booting Robin over two dismal dishes from Jen and Eli. Jen just looks lost (ironically, she's starting to resemble Old Lady Robin from this week's HIMYM), and Eli just made a severe miscalculation. Sometimes you just need to cook something good, and then stretch the theme around it to make it fit.

This makes Robin's ouster feel more like a lifetime underachievement award than just a reflection of her dish from the challenge. Don't get me wrong, it looks like it sucked, but tough meat and soup made from circus sweepings looked way worse than that. This may just be the judges trying to assemble the strongest final five, and it worked. Jennifer may go next if she doesn't wake up (or get some sleep, then wake up), but Eli needs to stop making mistakes like this. It still looks like the two of them fighting for 4th though, as Kevin and the Voltaggios are just head and shoulders above the them.

Also, I've started watching Veronica Mars (yes, instead of catching up with FlashForward or V...what can I say, I <3 Kristen Bell), so I'll probably be doing some kind of full write up of Season 1 or something, rather than pick through it one episode at a time. Through the first two episodes though, I'm really wondering why this show would get canceled after only three seasons. I heard that the tone really changed in Season 3 (and after the WB/UPN merger?), so I guess I've got that to look forward to. Anyway, it's good stuff, and I hope to catch up on many many series that I missed the first time they aired. Might have to bite the bullet and get Netflix so I can start getting entire series and watching them marathon-style.

Anyway, FlashForward is next on my plate, I promise.

Almost Live, Definitely Dead, and Heroes Still In Purgatory

2009-11-10T06:30:00.002-06:00

Sunday was a big night for Seth MacFarlane: His big comedy special, two new Family Guys, and The Cleveland Show. Hannah Banana was my favorite of the two, providing closure to the long saga of the Evil Monkey That Lives In Chris' Closet. The subplot with Stewie and Brian meeting Hannah Montana was slow, but picked up near the end, and had some great (and uncomfortable) jokes involved. The other episode was the mandatory "Brian enters another relationship with the usual results" storyline that comes around every other season. Technically sound with some good gags, but not all that satisfying.

The Almost Live comedy special, on the other hand, was an interesting departure for network television. Seth and Alex Borstein have a great chemistry together, and Seth's love of classic variety shows was in full effect here, although the "Family Guy: Live in Vegas" CD reamins his crowning achievement in anachronistic entertainment. The gags were hit or miss, but the Marlee Matlin bit is worth the time spent just on its own. Hopefully the ratings were good enough to spur a few more live specials, hopefully with the rest of the FG cast involved.

Now on to Monday...

Castle: A little bit of a ho-hum episode, sadly. Still enjoyable, but there wasn't much to sink my teeth into. I appreciated giving more screen time to Captain Montgomery, but the stuff with Castle's mom just sank like a stone. Nothing against the actress, but the role is just so very one note, it stands out like a sore thumb around the better written characters on the show. "Old person discovers the Internet" isn't interesting anymore, and the lack of any kind of payoff really made it a chore to get through. The twists seemed perfunctory, and the whole hour just felt like a trip to the outlet mall. Not a long trip, but nothing great on the radio and the scenery was just trees and billboards for Indian casinos.

I don't know if I'll win this year's award for Most Tortured Metaphor, but it'll be an honor just to be nominated.

Heroes: I'm not quite sure how I felt about this episode. I'm going to write tonight's review as optimistically as I can, and see what happens.

Hey, Peter has some motivation now! He's using his power at the expense of his own health, showing us the martyr complex that he's developed ever since his mother chose to lavish more attention on Nathan rather than him. That's character development! Good work, Heroes!

Hey, HRG was pretty bad ass tonight! And he brought the Haitian with him! And those two sorority girls from last week totally got Haitian'd! That's a word now! In all seriousness, the shot of him coming into Claire's room, gun drawn, was pretty cool. Nothing came of it, but it was a cool visual in a show that used to specialize in them. It's also a much needed plotline for HRG; the sins of his past coming to revisit him after he's resolved to turn over a new leaf. And Claire...was there. And her roommate left early in the episode! That's two wins!

Parkman was actually pretty good in this episode too, messing around with Sylar, then attempting to sacrifice himself in order to keep Sylar's memories from linking up with Sylar's body (which for some reason thinks that he's Nathan again). With the news/rumor that Adrian Pasdar is leaving the show, it's fairly obvious how that storyline will end...OR IS IT???

(Spoiler alert: Of course it is, this is still Heroes. It's either obvious, disappointing, or obvappointing)

Also, STILL NO MOHINDER!!! WHOOOOO!!!!

Coming soon: Will I have to review triple FlashForward? Will I ever watch V? Will the cool kids start calling it Five?

I'm a dirty liar...

2009-11-06T06:09:00.002-06:00

No FlashForward yet, had to go with my comedies.

Community is really hitting its stride, as tonight's episode didn't have much in the way of dead spots, and every character had something to do. Jeff finds himself as the one needing help, as he is living out of his car, then moves into the dorms with Abed. As a four year dorm resident myself, I can relate to the allure of TV and cereal (and community bathrooms). The Annie/Troy pairing is infinitely more interesting than Jeff/Britta with, thanks to an assist from Shirley (and Patton Oswalt!). Pierce joining Vaughn's band was a great little storyline for him, beginning with Vaughn's diss song to Britta, Pierce inadvertently sticking up for Britta, then the "Pierce is a B" remix at the end. Pierce's revenge track against Vaughn at the end was the cherry on top. This is turning into a really strong ensemble with some great jokes and some strong work from the guest stars and series irregulars.

The Office concluded the Michael/Pam's mom storyline (pay attention 30 Rock!) in the most awkward way possible; Michael breaking up with her at her own birthday lunch, then getting bitch slapped by Pam in the parking lot. Dwight stepped up his efforts to dethrone Jim, a storyline that should be gaining some more steam now that Pam's mom is out of the picture. Andy and Dwight competing in a "favor off" made for some good gags, although it was relatively weak compared to some of Dwight's other shenanigans of the past.

Finally, 30 Rock grinds the "new cast member" storyline to a halt with the funniest episode of the season. The show finally got back to the basics: that everything that happens at TGS is insane, and all that insanity makes for great TV. The scene with Liz calling Jaden's references (and her meatball sub) was good, the audition stuff was gold. Brian Williams, you can be on my sketch comedy show any time. Also, Kathy Geiss! Let's just hope that the robot speaks English. It'll be interesting to see where the show goes from here, now that the excruciating new cast member storyline is finally (mostly, I hope) over.

Very quick hits

2009-11-05T06:21:00.002-06:00

Heroes: Well, that was a waste. An hour of convoluted time travel nonsense, just so Magneto can give Peter's Irish Barmaid a roommate? Throw a non-plot in with HRG non having an affair with a co-worker, just so we can get the awesome verb "Haitianed"? Meh meh meh.

Castle: Way better, as the scenes with Alexis continue to be good. Her assisting with exposition at the beginning of the episode was not only helpful to the police, but now Beckett sees the "Adult" side of Castle. Good scene, and set up fairly naturally with the characterizations we've already had working. Them's some good writing.

Story itself was okay, the usual parade of suspects and false leads. Figuring out the murderer from her final song was a little of a stretch, but Alexis reaction to the "cross her threshold" line sold it at the end. Good all around.

How I Met Your Mother: Ted (or, T-Mos) has been waaaay in the background the last couple of weeks as Ro-Ro and the Barnstormer are attempting to challenge Lilypad and Marshmallow for the title of Best Couple. Barney and Robin's methods for avoiding fights are great (Barney leaves, Robin strips), as was the situation in which neither method can be used (stuck on a ski lift). Marshall's speech to Barney about how he's forgotten more about being a good boyfriend than Barney will ever know was greatness, and it's great to see more Marshall after he was barely in some of the early episodes. The "bagpipes" gag was funny once or twice, but it's no "eating a sandwich". Upswing for the season, but still kind of treading water, plot-wise.

Coming next: Double shot of FlashForward, and eventually, V.

Comedy Thursday!

2009-10-30T06:24:00.003-05:00

Halloween Eve Eve, and the costumes were in full effect.

Community: Scores extra points for being a Dia De Los Muertos episode (not Mexican Halloween, which is a dirty sex position), and not just regular Halloween. Abed's Batman voice was great, and it's nice to see Jeff go after another woman. The weird Jeff-Annie relationship continues, and Britta's squirrel costume wins for originality tonight. The episode itself was just meh, not really advancing much, just a series of varying humorous scenes. Some hit, some missed. Pierce on X got old way before the end of the episode.

The Office: The Halloween festivities were pretty much limited to the open, and Craig's refusal to play along was classic. Michael managing to turn "Dick in a Box" into one of the more morbid things ever on TV was also really really funny. The meat of the episode starts with Michael falling into a koi pond, and ends unexpectedly with footage of Jim letting Michael fall in. Michael, oddly, is okay with it, and the bond between them grows a little closer. Pam and Andy have a weird kind of bonding as well, being mistaken for a couple on sales calls, and revealing that Andy is a sad sad lonely man. Pam setting Andy up with Erin the cute receptionist is a nice touch, and hopefully a way for them to parody the Jim/Pam courtship. Good episode.

30 Rock: Better than it has been this season, not quite sure it's up to standard yet. They at least gave us some classic Jack/Liz action, which is where the show is generally strongest. Also, Kenneth is used sparingly here, allowing Jenna to get some screen time, which has also been lacking. Jack McBrayer showing up in Stone Mountain as various townsfolk who look exactly like him was worth a few giggles. Seriously though, Jeff Dunham? Sigh. Jenna's gay friend was the funniest part of her storyline though, let's get him back soon. Meanwhile, the "finding a new cast member" arc is taking forever. Enough already. Decent episode, could be better on a second watching.

Eating, Drinking, and Killing...and it's not even the weekend

2009-10-29T06:39:00.002-05:00

Monday was a night of surprises, as Heroes was good and Castle...well, I'll save that for later. Also, someone was surprised on Top Chef, and not in the good way. Intrigued? Well, then let your eyes wander another 3 millimeters down the screen...

Heroes: I'm not gonna lie, this was a good episode. Not good as in "I'm ready to declare Heroes to be awesome", but good as in "it told a story this time and didn't make me feel like I wasted in hour". After throwing a lot of new ingredients into the old Heroes gumbo, the storylines are finally starting to simmer and become something cohesive. Starting off, Samuel has gone from "really annoying" to "Ahh, he's supposed to be Magneto". He throws the hard sell on Tracy tonight, who is called into play by HRG to help Omega...err, Jeremy get out of legal trouble. HRG's still going by the Company playbook, which would be to get Jeremy out of town, then set him up in a new identity in D.C. while Tracy mentors him in using his powers. Samuel, on the other hand, wants Jeremy to come to Genosh...to the Carni-notsoevil where he can be around family. HRG's plan gets Jeremy out of jail, but is foiled by a combination of an angry mob, Jeremy speaking in class today, and a length of chain. HRG is sad, Tracy gets out her compass, and Samuel wanders into town to collapse the whole police station. Awesome visual, and after the events in town, you're pretty much rooting for Samuel at this point. He's going to need a Charles Xavier eventually though, otherwise it's just one badass with powers going against the Ambiguous Motivation Gang.

Meanwhile, Parkman gets jiggy with Mrs. Parkman, only it turns into a freaky three-way with Sylar, who also misses a golden "How do you like them apples?" setup. Parkman discovers that booze makes the problems go away...and makes Sylar go away too. Ahh alcohol: The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems. Parkman does shots while Sylar writhes in agony, then Parkman blacks out. When he comes to, his wife and sponsor are there for him, but then it turns out that...PARKMAN IS SYLAR NOW!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! EEEEEEE-VIL!!!!

But yeah, Sylar tricks Parkman (and really, how hard has that ever been?) into letting Sylar take control, and now Sylar is driving the bus. The big, empty, shlubby bus.

And Claire did something boring.

On to Castle! Best first minute of an episode ever, as Nathan Fillion gets back into the Captain Tightpants outfit for the first time in too long. I like that this show isn't afraid to turn directly to the camera and give us a big ol' wink like that. Also nice were the nods to Ryan and Esposito's former gigs (Ryan was a doctor/Seamus Dever was on General Hospital, and Esposito was a soldier/Jon Huertas was in Generation Kill) at the big costume party at the end. In between was a fairly good vampire story, some more good scenes between Castle and his daughter, pretty much everything that keeps this show running smoothly.

Top Chef: Poor Mike. Unfortunately for him, the Foreshadowing Elves had it out for him. To be honest, I'd feel confident any time Robin was in the competition, as she's been in the bottom so often, Lisa from season 4 might have to come back to take her down. Fun episode, as they get all excited about cooking meat, then find out that Natalie Portman (who is OMGCute as always) is the guest judge, and is a vegetarian. I blame all that milk in The Professional. Anyway, the game plan shifts, and Jennifer, Mike, and Robin land in the bottom three. I'm a little surprised that Kevin won again, considering all the praise they had for Eli, but I guess vegetables that feel like meat win out over lighter fare. Jennifer is totally freaking out, and she may be headed for a burnout and an explicable "Robin the final five" scenario. Robin has been "second worst" so many times, and it's always surprising that cumulative scores aren't part of the judging criteria for who goes home. Then again, maybe his leeks were just that bad. Also, there were dick jokes, so see the episode for that alone.

And everything else

2009-10-26T05:45:00.002-05:00

I was going to be lazy and skip it, but Community started strong, so I just had to talk about it.

Abed went incredibly meta and shattered the fourth wall, which has always been the way to my heart...just ask Garry Shandling. This week, the show finds a great balance with its characters, mostly by not having Abed in the episode. Nothing against the guy, but he overshadows some of the subtleties that this show tries to accomplish. Everybody else had great moments, and they hit a lot of high marks on the characters. The Jeff/Britta love thing was mostly non-existent, which helped a lot, and they got back to some of the things that make the show strong: Joel McHale talking a lot, and bouncing back and forth around multiple storylines. The more episodes that are like this, the better I like the future of the show. And then Abed can come back for the tag during the credits. Everybody wins.

The Office: After a misfire last week, Jim and Pam come back to usher in a new era of comedy. And Michael is banging Pam's mom. Pam's outrage was one of the highlights of this episode, and a huge departure from quiet and reserved Pam from Season 1. Dwight steps up his efforts to overthrow Jim, planting a decoy inside of a decoy, and going from "buffoon Dwight" to "crafty Dwight" by the end of the episode, making for a much more interesting dynamic between the two of them in upcoming episodes. Also, did Ryan steal Kevin's fedora?

30 Rock: This episode flailed a little, as it could really use an assist from the supporting cast to help shore up some of the story. Will Arnett was great as always, but even he couldn't salvage it on his own. Don't get me wrong, "Dealbreakers" is good stuff, and the Liz Lemon porn was a funny resolution, as was Jenna's Icelandic werewolf movie. It's just not congealing into a cohesive half hour of comedy yet. Hopefully it's just the yips, and they settle down for sweeps. It's still a funny show, it's just starting to show the pressure from all the press it gets.

Top Chef: I wasn't into Restaurant Wars this season, and I can't really put my finger on it. Not decorating their own restaurants was probably part of it, and it was odd to see any team with Kevin involved fumble the ball like that. The combined power of the Voltaggio's was enough to drag Robin over the finish line though, so it's PYKAG for Laurine, who got overwhelmed in the front of the house. Jennifer seems to be faltering a little as we get closer to the finish line though, and Eli might just vault over her next week.

Catching up with FlashForward

2009-10-26T03:56:00.003-05:00

Being sick sucks, but the backlog of TV marches on. After a great premiere, the next two episodes of FlashForward dipped into the boring end of the scale, so it was easier to stick with NBC comedies and Sunday cartoons. However, I <3 my readers, so I'm going back to do back to back FlashForwards.

First of all, "Black Swan" takes the show back to the money scene; the day of the Blackout. Bjork's "It's Oh So Quiet" is such a great song, and it's used to great effect here, showing another take on the Blackout. The shot of the bus casually going into the pond was nicely done, as was the quiet horror of people drowning before they could even tell what was going on. The delightfully quirky Mr. Ned Ned (Pushing Daisies shoutout?) escapes, then checks into the hospital with mystery illness, as well as promises of blackness in his future.

Agent Sulu, on the other hand, decided to be an FBI agent in this episode, and interrogates Bin Blondin (remember her?) long enough to get a lead on a burger shack in Indio (not India, as I thought it would be), where they chase Da Ali G Show through a haunted house of a trailer park (complete with live chase music on the trumpet!), and tackle the suspect into the only body of water within 20 miles. If only all terror suspects carried a metal box helpfully labeled "Yellowcake" on it! Alas, it's just filled with weed. Demitri reveals the date of his death though, and him and Agent The Other Guy share a moment, and finally get back to the "can they change their future" theme from episode 1.

Ahhh...British Guy didn't see Dr. Dharma's face in his flashforward. They finally addressed that, it's about time. Ned Ned isn't worried about surgery because of his flashforward...I have this weird feeling that he dies on the table and gives his eyes to a black guy, but that opens a whole new creepy door. Nicole the Slutty Babysitter turns to the worst priest ever, but she gets a need t-shirt at least. That's one of my problems with the show so far (halfway into episode 4); all the characters they introduced in the beginning, then shuffling most of them aside until now. Anyway, back to the show.

Hmm, Ned's crashing on the table...flirted with the chance to kill off someone and change the future, but Brice's Addison's diagnosis wins out in the end. Good scene though.

Also a good scene between Bin Blondin and Agent Binford (I'll try to remember that name), and some allegory weirdness about a Black Swan (we have title!). Time to stir up the global conspiracy pot again. At least it hasn't hit LOST levels of mysteriousness yet. Yet.

Speak of the devil: CHARLIE!!! I mean, SIMON!!! And he did it! But did what? Man, this show knows how to end an episode. Okay, "Gimme Some Truth" coming right up!

Actually, a couple of quick thoughts before the next episode: I wonder what the flashforwards of world leaders would be. Or gamblers. That's all.

And we start right off with a cold open/cliffhanger, car explosion, and then a "39 Hours Earlier" tag. In class, we call that "narrative complexity". Interesting idea though, taking a polygraph test about a memory of a vision of the future. I would think that something like that would make the machine explode. Wow, "Chinese fire drill" and masturbating in the same episode. ABC is becoming FOX before our eyes. Hey, the FBI guy is playing basketball with the President. Nice reveal, and now I'm really curious about his flashforward.

Well, that's convenient, they answered my question right after the commercial. I love instant gratification (of episodes I waited 3 days to watch). An incident, but no details, and a general "no comment" from all world leaders. Doc Brown would approve.

Not to get a political on you, but the scene in the restaurant with the gay FBI agent (I really need to write down these damn names, for reals), and her Kumite buddy was really well played. Good job ABC!

Butterfield! Nice! The idea of the Blackout as a weapon is an interesting theory, although it's presented as crackpot here...but with CHARLIE lurking in the background, who knows? INTRIGUE!!! Widdick? That's his name? Anyway, Courtney B. Vance has been offered Director of Homeland Security, then Senator Clemente drops a big heap of veiled references to a the past in his lap as they spar back and forth. Hmm, she saw herself as President, the President saw himself in bed...but was he the President? Former Presidents are still referred to as "Mr. President" after they leave office. Interesting, even if political drama does give me a headache. Well, there is a VP spot open, and the President did mention Clemente having a full plate. I guess we know his pick now.

Binford's testimony is awesome, in that it sounds so silly under questioning. Yes, that's the point, but it's still awesome. Then, we get mysterious structures in Somalia that look mostly like Tesla towers from Command and Conquer: Red Alert. Agent "Girl"'s galpal Mosaic-stalks her and finds out about the baby, and things get...tense. Meanwhile, Widdick has a nerdy nerdy kid in Washington. Oops, never mind, the President does, and Widdick was the payoff man. And he's playing hardball...

And Night Ranger karaoke brings the show right back to Awesometown! Binford finally admits that he was drinking in his flashforward. Hmm, and now his wife knows, due to a mysterious text. INTRIGUE!!!

And we finally get back to the open, with the Asian hit squad trying to take out our Mosaic pals, including Agent Almost Preggo back at home. Nice bit of action at the end, and a really nice scene with Agent (Okay, I'm looking up her damn name now) Janis Hawk using her flashforward as motivation to stay alive after being shot. Although seriously, the alarm clock driving around in her blood is about the creepiest thing EVER. Wow. Seriously.

Anyway, two good episodes lay out some more backstory, touch on some of the forgotten characters, and give us a couple dashes of conspiracy for good measure. I'm back on the bandwagon, we'll see for how long.

House and The Ghost of Kumar Go To Watch Castle

2009-10-21T06:17:00.002-05:00

Castle: First off, good news in that Castle has been picked up for a full season, and has been doing well in the ratings (although being on after Dancing With the Stars doesn't hurt either). Secondly, I really dug this episode. Not the beginning, as it had two of my least favorite things about television; a character facing a decision that would radically change the premise of the show (that they almost never actually take), and Debi Mazar. The decision in question is a potential offer for Castle to write the next three James Bond novels. Honestly, I stopped paying attention to those after Craig Shaw Gardner stopped writing them, but I can believe that a major author taking over the franchise would be a plum assignment. So the question becomes: Will Castle stick with the Nikki Heat franchise (thus staying in close contact with Beckett), or will he write his childhood hero and cash a MASSIVE check? In true Castle fashion, they avoid the maudlin "he stays because of his feelings for Beckett" route and go with the "Nikki Heat sold well, so his publisher will pay him even more money to write more of those" instead. There were a few good moments between Castle and Beckett though, although I'm worried that the tension is inching closer to "will they" instead of "won't they". After tonight though, I have faith that Team Castle probably has a new spin on things if they do pair the two of them up.

The plot of the episode wasn't bad, with some of the twists coming a mile away, but a very sweet ending nonetheless. However, one sequence just encapsulated everything I dig about this show. They are chasing a suspect through a kitchen, and Castle and Esposito do the "you go right, no you go left" dance as they try to get past each other going opposite directions. Then, Castle can't help but grab a taste of a dessert as he races through the kitchen. Two great bits of character development that take place in an action sequence, and my description doesn't do it justice. Just go watch it on Hulu. Now!

House: House is continuing to be great this season, and the great healing of House is actually still going on, not being dropped to go back to Classic House. Don't get me wrong, he's still the sarcastic grump we all know and love, but its balanced by genuine character moments. Tonight, it was a tease to a return of Crazy House, as he hears voices at night. However, it's just Wilson talking to Amber at night because of how much he misses her. At the very end of the episode, House starts a conversation with his father, which is a pretty powerful moment, given their history. It's a good sign that this show is evolving.

Unfortunately, it's also the return of the House/Cuddy mating dance. Even if they actually pull the trigger on it, I don't know whether it actually helps the show out or not. Foreteen's relationship storylines were fairly dull, and the inevitable disintegration of the Chase/Cameron pairing is slogging along as well. The only saving grace was Chase's scene in the confessional, and the scene at the end with him coming home drunk is not a good sign for the future. At least the POTW had a happy ending, and we got some sweet parkour in the beginning. It's just not the same without them all yelling "PARKOUR" and kicking stuff over though.

FlashForward is next on the list, and Top Chef this week is Restaurant Wars! Hot diggity!

Slowly Catching Up

2009-10-21T01:59:00.002-05:00

How I Met Your Mother: My favorite episode of the season to date, splitting the gang into possibly its strongest two groups: Barney/Robin and Ted/Marshall/Lily. Barney teaching Robin to be American was great television, as was her Canadian bender, and her realization that she's becoming a woman of two countries. Finally a good Barney/Robin storyline that doesn't just refer to their relationship. Lily's tiny bladder and sappy audiobook breaking up Ted's ultimate roadtrip was hilarious, as was ditching Lily at the B&B (and Marshall running around in a robe for the rest of the episode) and all the Tantrum references. The extended gag about how terrible the pizza place in Chicago was kept me rolling, and it dovetailed nicely into the ending bit when Marshall and Ted pay the price for eating there. Fun little episode that keps its momentum going, explored another facet of the Ted/Marshall friendship, and had lots of great quotable bits. Everything I look for in an episode of HIMYM.

Simpsons: Treehouse of Horror XX, wow. It's hard to believe that there have been twenty of these, but it's still one of the episodes I look forward to the most every year. "Dial M For Murder" was a decent little "Strangers on a Train" storyline with many other Hitchcock elements tossed in. Not quite an homage, but the intent was there. "Don't Have A Cow, Human" was an amazing zombie story though, with a lot of great characters moments and Apu coming up big. The ending Sweeney Todd riff wasn't a classic, but doing it as a stage play (complete with elevator stage for Moe's Basement) was inspired and kept me interested. It's episodes like this that make me wish Simpsons would just retire the notion of a narrative and just play around with their format like this all the time.

Heroes: I have to admit it, this episode wasn't bad at all. I hesitate to call it good, as that's just asking for disappointment next week. Ray Park works well as a foil for Sylar, and the reinvention of Gabriel/Sylar/Nathan is being handled pretty well, mainly a testament to the ability of Zachary Quinto. This week was a gift to continuity nerds (like myself), bringing up Claire's magical healing blood, and taking us back to Charlie! Peter and HRG make a pretty good team (other than Peter taking a shotgun blast to the chest), and I would get behind them as a pairing, doing the "good guys" version of The Company.

Hiro finally gets to be Hiro tonight, counseling Deaf Dazzler and putting on a magic show for the kids at the hospital. The idea of Hiro's bucket list is a good one, especially with Charlie on it. Having him learn from Charlie as far as dealing with his tumor is some great writing. Credit where credit is due and all. Hopefully the good storytelling continues with him, and we don't go back to toner-smudged Hiro...ever.

Back to the Carn-Evil, where the carnies are starting to resemble a cult more than a family, which I suppose is the point and all. Glowering Ray Park promises to be a nice feud if they let it simmer. The House of Mirrors scene could have been good, but once the Jamaitian leaves, it just turns into a cheesy montage (and not even well done either), and then Sylar runs out like a bitch. It could have been done so much better, and that's a recurring theme with Heroes. Sylar briefly shifting into Nathan was a cool touch, and I think Nathan's influence on Sylar's morality needs to be explored more sooner than later, although I'm sure they're saving it for when Sylar falls completely under the Carnival's spell. Poor Ernie Hudson...I had hoped they'd keep around longer, although it does advance the Ray Park rivalry some more. Will it pan out? Who knows, it's Heroes...

Short and Sweet Tonight

2009-10-15T20:32:00.003-05:00

Community: The Community formula is starting to emerge, and it is already getting a little worn in places. Jeff does something to gain point with Britta, Abed pairs up with someone else for comedy to ensue, and most of the rest of the cast gets "something" to do. The supporting cast still comes up big though (mainly Jon Oliver), and I still have hope. How much hope will I have in a month? Time will tell.

The Office: For the first episode without the calming rational influences of Jim and Pam, there wasn't much in the way of wacky hijinks. The Mafia/insurance storyline wasn't that interesting, although having Dwight and Andy on the same page as the devil in each of Michael's ears was an interesting pairing that would do well in the long term. Kevin gets up to very minor (we're talking "Dennis the Menace" levels) hijinks when he finds his way into Jim's office. Fortunately, we get some Jam action via some very terse phone calls, and it helps the episode even out. Not a great lead-in for...

NEW 30 ROCK!!! Liz's Cheesy Blasters song has already blown the rest of the Thursday lineup out of the water. Addressing the economy is a "bold" move. October is Breast Cancer Awareness month, so go out and hit up the Git'Er Done 2000. I love hill country talk, I love you Kenneth. Hmm, a storyline where Kenneth has to surpress his ideals...haven't seen that before. Tracy's attempts to connect with normal people are awesome. Kenneth's page strike, not so much...and i like Kenneth. Usually. Oooh, Jenna's gone country. Pro-op trans-centaur? Steve Buscemi!!! Oh no, Liz and Pete are intercoursing each other! I could see Buscemi working with Donahue. Every night should be Tennis Night in America. Damn that Pope Innocent the Fourth. Keneth's Jack voice is genius.

So, I was really hoping for resolution on the new cast member, but we only got resolution on the Jack/Kenneth plot. Honestly, they work well together, and Kenneth had a little more Jack in him by day's end, but I still prefer their interactions with other characters. Good first episode back though, and if they stick with the economy as a driving force for the first arc or two, it'll be some good times. Ugh, except that ham-handed toss to Leno. Just terrible.

Tough breaks, but not a surprise, as Ash leaves Top Chef this week. FlashForward coming after the weekend, then your normal Monday favorites.

A Castle is also a House

2009-10-14T06:38:00.002-05:00

Time to get the stink of Heroes off of me, with a double dose of goodness.

Castle just continues to be a show I enjoy. The plots are entertaining, but not breaking much new ground (although the reveal of this week's case was inspired). However, it's the interaction between the characters, some sharp writing, and a general sense of fun that keeps this show in my good book. Nathan Fillion owns this character, and he truly is the straw that stirs the drink. There are elements of Captain Hammer in his Rick Castle, only his super powers are money and fame, which team up to get him pretty much anything he wants. In the end though, it's the scenes between him and his daughter that prove to be some of the best moments in the show. They don't even feel like good acting, they just feel right. Tonight's episode features layers upon layers of cons, leading to a light discussion of great con movies, and Castle's unrestrained glee at watching another master storyteller at work, albeit in a different medium. I can't recommend this show enough, it's just the most fun I have all week watching TV.

House is still making for some compelling television as well, as the old team is back in the saddle again, although with vastly different dynamics from the "good old days". Chase and Foreman are still dealing with their actions in last week's episode, in which Chase fakes a lab result in order to make sure a genocidal tyrant dies on the table. I was expecting it to get dragged out a little longer, maybe with a character dogging their heels, similar to the David Morse storyline from a couple seasons ago. It looks like it's mostly wrapped up, although I'm sure that won't be the case when its all said and done. Thirteen gets moved out of the way for now, as the next few episodes seem to be all about redefining roles within the team of House, Foreman, Cameron, and Chase. There was a nice bit about how House likes power and puzzles, but the last time he had both, it sent him into Vicodin addiction and insanity. We've established that he needs the puzzles, so can he deal without the power or not?

The Patient of the Week is more of a MacGuffin than usual, as it's his rich dad who signs away his fortune in an effort to reverse his karma and save his child. The real karma issues haven't been resolved yet, as Chase (and to a lesser extent, Foreman) is packing a pretty heavy load of bad karma. Since Foreteen seems to be broken up for good (for now), will Cameron and Chase be able to stay together, especially with what's weighing on Chase's conscience now?

Top Chef, FlashForward, Thursday night comedy (including the return of 30 Rock!) and Dollhouse are coming up this week. I'm going out of town for the weekend, so I'll catch up when I can. Might I suggest leaving some comments? Yes, I'm a comment whore now, what's up?

How I Met Some Animated Heroes

2009-10-13T07:03:00.005-05:00

Let's just get this out of the way. Heroes, I hate you. Why do I hate you? Because you apparently think I'm an idiot. Dirt McGirt of the Out Of Focus Carnival(e) promises a new family member by the end of the day, just in time for magic old lady waffles. Who will it be? Believe it or not, it's just Sylar...WITH AMNESIA!!! Wow, I guess it takes a guy with earth powers to shake all the dust off of that chestnut. And yes, that was a reference to the children's choir singing the "Greatest American Hero" theme. It's a song I love, and done on a better show, it would have been a cute aside to the fans. Here, it flops like a brick with wings.

Peter bumps into Emma while saving her from a bus and accidentally steals the World's Worst Power from her, losing his awesome Ray Park speed. I will give credit where credit is due, the music trailing off when he realizes he can't run fast anymore was actually well done. Apparently, powerless Peter gets to blow off work whenever he feels the need to mack on some deaf chick. Angela, on the other hand, couldn't be more obvious about blowing off Peter unless she painted eyes on her eyelids so she could be fully asleep during her scenes with him. Oh, and Hiro shows up at Peter's place and collapses under the weight of Peter's plodding storyline.

Claire and Single White Gretchen continue to lurch through their storyline, ending with the world's most boring girl kiss. Seriously, I think Katy Perry hung herself after that one. Think or hope, one of those two. Anyway, this week's "no really, we're at college, honest!" hijinks involve Claire and SWG rushing Claire's mom's old sorority, which is just a front for Unnamed Invisible Girl to recruit Claire for the Out Of Focus Carnival(e). But of course, they don't just reveal her at the end and let us connect the dots, oh no. They don't even lead us through it by the hand, they stick us on one of those toddler leashes, then slowly walk us through the last month of the Claire storyline. hell, while you're fixing your show, why not have Invisible Girl go back and off Micah's cousin and push Maya off a bridge too. It was all the Invisible Girl! She canceled Pushing Daisies too! Oh, and how the hell does Invisible Girl manage to get herself high enough up in the sorority in order to convince them to let Claire and SWG into the sorority anyway? How much advance notice did they have? HOW HIGH DOES THE CONSPIRACY GO!!! Thanks to Starman for reminding me of that, by the way, I'd forgotten it in all the other hating on this episode I had going on.

Finally, we get to the delicious frosting on this three-layer turd cake of an episode: anything involving Sylar. Amnesiac Sylar gets picked up by ERNIE GODDAMN HUDSON. Whooo!!! Zeddemore bitches!!! True story: I walked behind Ernie Hudson at Gencon LA a few years ago during a fire drill. I didn't ask him to tell me about the Twinkie, and I regret it to this day.

So anyway, Sylar spends most of the episode emoting and not knowing who he is, but then his criminal past (and fingerprints) catch up with him, and Gabriel Gray is going down for murrrrrrderrrrrr. Ernie Hudson prepares to channel his inner Vic Mackey, but then Sylar's powers flicker on and he gets tossed through a glass window. Sylar makes a break for it with a character who I'm not even going to discuss, then gets shot up when his Electrica Mars flares up, heals, then gets taken in by...Dirt McGirt everybody! Yay, Sylar gets waffles! Mmmmm...

How I Met Your Mother finally satisfies my need for more Marshall, as he and Lily go overboard wooing Barney and Robin as a new couple to hang out with. I could listen to Marshall talk about Gouda alllll day, but Rarney don't agree, so they dump Marshall and Lily. However, in true HIMYM fashion, Marshall and Lily find a new couple that love them, and Babin have to look on longingly, to the hilarious sounds of "All By Ourselves". Every break-up cliche, doubled for your pleasure. Ted's storyline is pretty basic, even though it makes up the title ("The Sexless Innkeeper") of the episode. Ted doesn't get laid, then Ted does get laid...although we do get poetry and fun wigs, so it all works out. Good episode, although Ted getting laid does lead to another "what am I doing" moment from Barney. Will it pay off? Who knows. Until then, check out itwasthebestnightever.com for some photo montages.

Rounding us out today are some animation quick hits:

Simpsons: Hey, have you heard about this MMA thing that's been going around? The Simpsons finally has, and decided to make it a Marge episode. Pass.

The Cleveland Show: This was a nice mix between the family sitcom template that this appears to be on the surface, and the darker stuff you tend to expect from McFarlane and the gang. It starts with Cleveland trying to find a friend for Cleveland Jr., with a great extended gag about Cleveland sounding like a pedophile while trying to convince a boy to "play with Cleveland Jr"...fitting, since Mike Henry also is the voice of Herbert on FG. How do you get from there to a bloody shootout at the end of the episode? Just watch it, if not for that, then for Cleveland's hat closet.

Family Guy: I'm beginning to think Seth McFarlane likes the 80's. There has to be a new term invented here, because "parody" and "homage" don't come close to this episode. Chevy Chase and Dan Ackroyd essentially recreate "Spies Like Us" with Stewie and Brian, and Peter forms an improve troupe to keep him out of the way. Forgettable story, but some good jokes, and more playing with the format (Stewie's incoherent cutaway setup and the "Russian cutaway gag"). Oh, and the shoutout to The Cleveland Show was funny too. Didn't want to forget that.

American Dad: Also not the best episode, and usually the Stan/Steve episodes are better than this. Steve is left home along, starts messing around with Stan's Predator Drone, and hilarity ensues. Just didn't really come together as an episode, although Roger's Stan impression and some king-fu fighting near the end salvaged it.

Castle and House (hopefully) tomorrow. Also, good news in that Dollhouse has been picking up some good DVR numbers and so FOX has announced that they'll show all of Season 2. FlashForward has also been picked up for a full season. People do win!