Nothing on Lost was as awesome as Robots vs Wrestlers...

Don't get me wrong, Lost continues to be amazing heading into the final three hours or so of the show. However...Robots vs Wrestlers!

Let me explain, see How I Met Your Mother started us out with this awesome mixing of awesome things (and the gang's new tradition), and turned into a decent Ted episode. Including the Fourth Doppleganger!

This episode sets the table for a lot of things though: Robin not being with the group as much, which triggers Barney's fear that the group will fall apart, Ted's inherent douchey side, and then Marshall and Lily talking about when to start trying to have a baby. Also, Robots vs Wrestlers.

Poor Ted. Every time he tries to bring up some of his high-falutin interests, someone makes a fart noise to interrupt him. He gets an invitation to a fancy penthouse party in the mail (of Marissa, the previous tenant of his apartment), and drags the gang along...on the same night as Robots vs Wrestlers. How do you do that?

Great guest casting in the party, however, as Ted gets to hobnob with Peter Bogdosian, Ariana huffington, and Will Shortz. I remember Will from my years as a subscriber to GAMES magazine, so it's good to see him on my screen. The rest of the gang bails, as Ted decides to forgo Robots vs Wrestlers in order to stay and keep being the life of the snooty party. And there's where Marshall, Lily, and Barney run into...Mexican Wrestler Ted.

Yes, the fourth doppleganger has been found, and when Ted gets the picture on his phone, it makes him realize that he is approaching the "too much douchey" mark, and runs to be with his friends. In the end, Barney's fears fail to come to pass, Robin comes back just in time to interrupt Ted's poem with a fart noise, and Marshall and Lily realize that they can compromise on starting a family...at least until they find the last doppleganger.

Castle was decent, involving Demming helping out on an odd murder case, and Castle being all jealous and adorable. The metrosexuality between Castle, Ryan, and Esposito was funny, as was a few notes of a "Sex in the City"-fied version of the Castle theme in the background. Well played, music guy! Not much happens until the end, as Castle spies Beckett and Demming smooching, which should kick off our run to the season finale.

Now for Lost. Tonight was finally our Jacob and Man in Black flashback. And they litereally go back to the very beginning, as Jacob and MiB's mom (Claudia) washes up from a shipwreck and is helped by Allison Janney (unnamed). Claudia births her boys (wrapped in light and dark blankets, natch), and then Allison Jannet totally murders her with a rock. LOST.

So now the boys are teenagers, and MiB finds a box on the beach. Somehow he knows it's a game (with white and black rocks for game pieces), and he teaches Jacob to play (similar to how Locke taught Walt how to play backgammon). Jacob can't lie to Mom, and tells her about the game. Mom comes out to talk to MiB about it, and tells him that there's nothing across the sea, and that he'll never have to worry about becoming dead. The boys do a little boar hunting, but run into the survivors of Claudia's boat wreck. Asking Mom about this, she gives them a lecture on how much people suck, and how she made it so they can never hurt each other. She then blindfolds them and leads them to a waterfall and a glowing cave. The light from the cave is the source of...well, everything, apparently. The light inside the cave is an analog for the light inside of us, just more of it, and if the light goes away, then so do all of us.

Later, Jacob and MiB play the game some more...Jacob complains about the rules, and MiB tells him that one day he'll get to make his own rules and make him follow them. Hmmm. MiB sees his mother's ghost, and follows her to the village where the others (or...The Others?) live. miB tries to drag Jacob with him to go join their people, but Jacob is having none of it, and beats the tar out of MiB. MiB still goes to the village.

Flash to the present, where adult Jacob is still a mama's boy, but he still travels to visit his brother and play the game. MiB has found some of the spots on the Island where the electromagnetic energy is high, and they've dug wells to get closer to them. And hold Desmond, in a pinch.

Mom comes to visit MiB down in the well, and he shows her where they've broken through to the light. There's also the wheel (the one that transports Ben from the Island to the desert), which will channel the light. Mom knocks MiB out, like a bitch. Then she takes Jacob back to the original light cave, and names him the protector of it. The light is the heart of the Island, and the source of potentially everything. She claims that going down into the cave/into the light won't kill you, it'll be worse than death. Hmm, wonder how she knows? She pours him wine (from the bottle we saw in the Richard Alpert episode) while chanting, and makes him drink to become the protector.

MiB wakes up, sees the village burned to the ground, and his light-holes filled in. Man, she was busy. He's pretty pissed, and goes to mess up Mom and Jacob's place. She comes home to see the wreckage, and finds the box with the game in it, with (say it with me) one white and one black stone; then gets a dagger through the back, prison-style. She thanks MiB for killing her, then dies. Jacob comes home with the firewood, and beats the tar out of MiB again. This time though, he drags MiB back to the source and tosses his ass down the hole. What comes out?

The smoke monster.

Yep, that just happened. Jacob drags MiB's body back to the cave and arranges him next to Mom, then puts a bag in his hand with (say it with me) one white and one black stone in it. Then we get flashbacks from season 1 of Jack, Kate, and Locke finding the skeletons and the stones, just in case you forgot what went down.

And there you go. We know the story of Jacob and MiB, and the stones, and the origin story of the smoke monster. Next week...I dunno, the preview was vague. More present day Island fun though!

How I Met Your Esposito

Kicking things off is How I Met Your Mother. Last night's was totally a Ted episode, which has been sorely needed, especially after last week. The more I mulled over the last episode, the less I liked it (although I'm still a sucker for a monkey). This time around though, we start off with AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ANGELA PETRELLI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, calmer. It's the actress, but now she's Ted's mom, and she's getting remarried to the perfect living stereotype of New Age hippie nonsense. At the wedding, Ted is bummed out that his mom has essentially lapped him, entering her second marriage while he is still waiting for his first. Skipping out on the toast (which is understandable after Clint's 12+ minute epic song), he disappears for 72 hours, and comes back a homeowner.

And it is the worst house ever, although I loved Barney's line about "Was it difficult to negotiate with the Blair Witch?". While Uncle Ruckus (no really, he does the voice on the Boondocks, seriously) inspects the house, Ted and the gang sit around and talk about feelings. Well, Barney talks more about Robin's feelings, as he won't stop telling people how she teared up at Clint's song. Except she didn't, it was Barney. Because he was sad about the time he made out with Ted's mom. Maybe. And he maybe got to second base. And his penis may be enormous.

Also, we get a new Marshall bit, where he tells a story of a stupid decision he made in his past, and the gang have to guess whether he was drunk, or a kid. Lily's dad should make that one into a board game, then bundle it with "Slap Bet!". After an epic (well, not so much) sledgehammer session, Ted still decides to keep the house, and in a nice montage, we see the torn-up wall become the same wall we see every week as Ted tells his kids this epic story. Very nicely done scene, and as such, the episode didn't even need a tag before the credits. The story of the house is a great insight into Ted (although nothing we didn't already really know), and a tangential take on the central mythology of the show. The Ted that bought this house is the Ted that stole a blue French Horn for Robin, and who will likely do something else impulsive to finally get The Mother...which should happen ANY TIME NOW!!! DO IT!!!

Okay, I'm better. Let's move on to Castle.

The highest compliment (and it is a compliment) that I can pay this show, is that I can't think of any other show on television that could pull off this storyline, and any cast that could walk the line between the levels of emotion pulled off in the episode. We get Flirty Beckett (with Demming, the new cop in town), Wacky Castle (seriously, between his Old Timey poker outfit {and Alexis' matching one...adorable], and his facial expressions through most of the episode), and Ultra Serious Esposito (with a cameo of Serious Ryan), this was a chance for most of the cast to stretch new muscles, especially Jon Huertas, who really stole the show this week. The case had a much smaller suspect pool, and thus the plot was tighter and kept you guessing until the end.

Esposito's arc with his dead partner, who turned out to be his alive/crooked partner, who then turned out to be his still-a-good-guy partner was some great writing coupled with great acting. Was that Jim Cramer as the crime boss? If so, good work from him. It was a better acting job than the one he does when he tries to convince people that he knows anything about the market, that's for sure *rimshot*. Ryan didn't have much to do, but he made the most of two scenes; the quasi-physical comedy of he, Esposito, and Castle swiping Demming's cell phone, and then the more serious scene he had with Esposito near the end of the episode. The concept of partners has been explored a lot on cop shows, and with Castle/Beckett many times on this show, but that one scene emphasized it without belaboring the point, a hard trick to pull off.

Speaking of Demming, I hear he'll be around for a while, and this third wheel in the Castle/Beckett relationship will likely drive the last few episodes of this season; possibly continuing into next year. The two played well together in their scenes this week, so he looks to be a good (temporary?) addition. Meanwhile, I feel inspired to check out some more Jon Huertas and pick up Generation Kill, the HBO miniseries he was in a couple years back.

Next up, LOST, then a big update next week, since I'll be out of town for the return of Thursday comedies, and the next Doctor Who.

Once again: Lost and Castle

So thanks to college basketball, there has been a dearth of new episodes of my usual shows. However, two shows refuse to roll over and cede their timeslot to sports. I thank you, Lost and Castle.

Castle this week was one of the "Dull case, fun business" episodes that I really have to be in the mood for. In this case, it was a guy getting squished by a gargoyle, which led to a mummified Mayan king and a wacky curse that let's Nathan Fillion be zany, but doesn't really add much to the story. On the other hand, there wasn't much story, so let the zaniness ensue!

The case was a never-ending series of false leads, double-backs, plots within plots, and it almost had me asleep. Castle's antics were much funnier, what with the detectives pranking him hardcore in order to make him believe in the curse. Honestly though, the coffee machine blowing up was over the top, both for the show, and as a believable act by Beckett (and Ryan, and Esposito). Then the story takes an odd serious turn (more of a slight divot), as Castle asks Beckett to take care of Alexis if something did happen to him. Came out of nowhere, and that was a revelation that would have been better suited to a more serious episode, honestly. The case finally comes to an end, and then Beckett gets a Mayan activist (who has conveniently been hanging out in a cell all episode) to tell Castle how to "Reverse the Curse". However, whatever he has to do, happens off-screen. Why?!?! All that, and you don't give him one last bit of physical business to do, as a payoff for an entire hour of boredom? Not a great episode, unfortunately, especially coming off of last week's incredible two-parter.

Lost, on the other hand, was outstanding. People (okay, mainly ladies) looooooove Desmond, and we got all we could handle tonight. We start out with Desmond (aka, last week's "Package") waking up with Zoey tending to him. Widmore comes into the room, and Desmond goes apeshit on him with an IV stand. Widmore needs Desmond for a test, and as we see from the sciencey stuff around (and Angstrom the bunny), it involves electricity. A LOT of electricity. Desmond is the only person to have survived a major catastrophic electromagnetic event (aka, the one that brought down 815 all the way back then), and they need to test him...using big coily things that fried the crap out of the poor redshirt as they were dragging Desmond out there. They toss him in the box (oh yeah, Jin is there, too, not that it makes a difference), and he gets zapped...

And wakes up as Alterna-Desmond! There's Hurley! And Claire! George the limo driver/hooker acquisitionist takes Desmond to see Widmore, whom he works for. And hugs. Desmond has money, a sweet life, and no family. Poor Desmond. He gets to pick up Charlie (squeeeee!!!, said the fangirls) from jail and chaperone him long enough to play a gig with Widmore's son. Charlie heads over to the nearest bar, and the two drink while Charlie asks him about love, and shares a vision he had (probably about Claire) when he was choking on his Bag O' Smack back on 815. They hop in the car, and Charlie grabs the wheel and sends them crashing into the marina (in like ten feet of water, it looks like). Desmond can't save Charlie, but dives back down to try again. Charlie puts his hand on the glass, and Desmond has a flashback to Charlie drowning back in the underwater station (with "Not Penny's Boat" written on his hand). Desmond gets Charlie out of the car, and we join him back in the hospital with a nasty head wound. They pop him in an MRI machine (magnetic resonance, in case you didn't know), and they triggers visions of Penny. He freaks out and bolts to try and find Charlie, running into Jack. Charlie comes flying out of another room, bare ass flapping in the breeze. Charlie tells Desmond that "none of this matters", and that he should look for Penny.

Desmond heads over to the charity ball to break the bad news about Driveshaft to Widmore's wife...Eloise. She seems nonplussed by the news about Charlie, saying (wait for it...) "What happened, happened". Walking away, Desmond overhears Penny's name on an invitation list, but then Eloise flips out when he asks about it, saying he's not ready for her, and to stop looking. Walking away, Desmond is approached by Widmore's son...Daniel Faraday (pianist, not physicist). Woot, I missed him. Faraday (sorry, Widmore...ahh hell, Daniel) talks of love, of seeing Charlotte (not named as such though) and drawing advanced physics equations in his notebook. Ahh, so apparently memories are bleeding through to this dimension/reality/etc. Daniel is afraid that this world isn't supposed to exist, and he has the nagging feeling that he blew up a nuclear bomb at some point to create this world. Lucky for Desmond, Daniel knows where Penny (his half-sister...ooh, who's the mother?) will be...running stairs in an empty stadium (echoes of the past!). Desmond shakes Penny's hand...

And wakes up back in the electric box, back on The Island. He's only been out for a few seconds, and now he's all totally willing to help Widmore with his mysterious project. Seems like Widmore needs Desmond to help set reality straight maybe? Just a guess. Desmond and the gang head out, and make it about twenty paces before Jack Bauer...err, Sayid pops up, snaps a neck, and tells Zoey to run. He tells Desmond to come with him, and Desmond does, just like that.

But wait, there's more. We flash over to Alterna-Desmond, who has come to after fainting from Penny's touch. Interesting. She agrees to meet him for coffee, and he heads back to the limo. He asks George for a whore...I mean, for the 815 passenger manifest, because he wants to "show them something". And we're out.

So, Desmond (who as we all remember, is the Constant) is back in play, and looks to be a very important piece in both timelines. We're really starting to get rolling with only seven more hours of Lost left...ever.

Oh, and next week, we get a Hurley episode, and some Michael! Yeehaw!

Lost and Castle

As busy as I get, I've never got so much on my plate that I can't pause and talk about two of my favorite shows: Lost and Castle.

Lost up first, since I just watched it, and it's definitely a "Setting the table" episode. This time, we catch up with the Kwans. One's a Candidate, the other is not. Sun is with Jack at the beach, Jin is with Locke and the gang. Both are really tired of not looking for their spouse. Meanwhile, in Alterna-Land, Jin is tied up in a freezer and found by Sayid (in the Sayid episode a few weeks back).

We roll it back to Sun and Jin arriving in LA and having their Bag O' Cash confiscated by The Man. They head to the hotel (separate rooms? lame), where Jin worries about business, and Sun seduces him with some sexy neutral toned lingerie. *cat noise* Martin (guy who shot Ben's daughter/guy who Sayid shot) shows up to collect his watch, and then his money. He takes Jin to the restaurant (which is how he gets into the freezer), and his buddy takes Sun to get the money out of her bank. Oh, but Sun's account has been closed by her dad. Oh, and Martin reveals that the money was Martin's fee for capping Jin. O irony! Sayid does his shooty thing, gives Jin a box cutter (so he can free himself), and leaves. Jin shows up, shoots Martin's friend through the damn eye, and then Sun is bleeding, crying...oh, and pregnant.

Back in the Island, Sun revists her garden from all those years ago, tells Jack to get lost (JOKE!!!), and then Not-Locke comes in to talk to her about how he's got Jin, etc. She runs, whacks her head on a tree, and wakes up forgetting how to speak English. Is there a writer who runs a bootleg subtitle business on the side?

Almost forgot the beginning of the episode: Spooky nightvision stalking of Camp Smokey, followed by everybody getting free neck darts and falling down. Jin gets taken and wakes up in Room 23, where Alex's boyfriend was sitting in the Happy Fun Brainwashing Chair. Liz Lemon tasers him, then agrees to take him to see Widmore.

Ahh Widmore; he got to meet Not-Locke...from the other side of a sonic fence. Psst, just tip the stupid pylons over. Anyway, Not-Locke announces that the Island is now at war. Also, Desmond was in the mysterious locked room on the sub. Chew on that for a week, brother.

Meanwhile, Castle pays off it's cliffhanger in full, Beckett having survived the apartment bombing by jumping in the tub. Castle busts down the door, then they have a cute scene as Beckett refuses to let him see her naked (as all the towels and robes are...well, on fire). They go back to square one on tracking down their killer, and finally get a hit on his name. They head to his Kevin Spacey in Seven apartment (which Castle digs, of course), and almost corner him, but he's just too sneaky. So sneaky, in fact, that he gets the drop on Agent Shaw, and now the ball is in the killer's court. Oh how sneaky.

The climax is a big step in the Castle/Beckett relationship, as Beckett trusts Castle (with a gun, no less!) to be her backup as they go after the killer. Beckett tussles with the killer, and is in peril and at gunpoint when a shot from Castle knocks the gun right out of the guy's hand. Castle, in true Castle fashion, was aiming at the guy's head. Well played. Whether this effects the partnership more (and more importantly, when can we get Dana Delany back?) will be shown in the coming weeks...and in Season Three, which just got ordered by ABC. Heck yes, this is good news. More Castle can only be more awesome.

In other news, watch you some Community. It is quietly becoming one of the funniest, and most solidly put together shows on television at the moment.

Catching Up: The Dramas

Ahh, so much good television watched, and so few chances to blog about it. Okay, let's tackle these in some semblance of order. First off, Castle.

Castle. I love you Castle. Just when you were starting to get a little fluffy, you turn things up to 11 for the post-Dancing With the Stars crowd. This week's episode was shades of the first episode, with a serial killer obsessing on Castle's books. This time, it's Nikki Heat who is inspiring the killing, and it's important enough to bring the FBI in, spearheaded by Dana Delany (looking nothing like her China Beach days). Castle and Delany instantly hit it off, with Castle bouncing ideas off of her (the way he does with Beckett, awww), and entranced by the shiny FBI toys that she brings along. This serial killer likes to taunt Detective Heat...err, Beckett, and is constantly a step or three ahead of the good guys. The puzzles were excellently done, and some of the softer scenes worked out well (like Castle at Beckett's place). Even better, the incredible cliffhanger ending was really well done, upping the stakes even after I realized what was coming. Also, Beckett in the shower. Well played. Can't wait for next week.

Lost was some good times this week too, taking a short break from the regular Losties and delving into the story of one Richard (sorry, Ricardo) Alpert. In a bold move, most of the episode takes place in 1867 (now that's what I call a flashback!), and follows Ricardo as he loves his sick wife, accidentally kills a doctor, arrives home too late to save her, cannot recieve absolution from a priest (important), gets sold to a boat captain (working for someone named Hanso!), brought about the Black Rock (!), crashes into the Crocodile statue (!!), comes face to face with the Smoke Monster (!!!!, oh, and the encounter leaves his eyes permanently guylinered), and is eventually rescued by...The Man In Black (!!!!!). The MiB gives him the ceremonial Short Sword of Godkilling and sends him off to kill Jacob (with the same "don't let him speak" warning that Dolan gave Sayid). Instead, Jacob goes Chuck Norris on him, then offers him some wine. He explains that the Island is like a cork that keeps evil (in this case, the MiB) from escaping into the world. Jacob doesn't want to directly influence the people brought to the Island (which appears to be test subjects in the battle of good and evil that Jacob and the MiB are playing, but he does recruit Ricardo to be his Agent, working to guide the people who come to the Island. Oh, and gives him eternal life. And a suave haircut, one would think. Finally, Richard buries his wife's cross under a convenient bench.

Back to the future, Richard goes to that bench, digs up the cross, and starts yelling that he wants to join Team Smokey now, but instead finds Hurley. Who is talking to Ricardo's dead wife. They have a well-acted reunion, and Richard is brought back into the fold. However, looking on is...Not-Locke! I enjoyed this episode, stepping out of the current story to give us a boatload of backstory and answer a few questions. I also really look forward to seeing how the metaphor of MiB smashing the wine bottle (the one that represents the shell holding evil inside) rather than remove the cork (aka, the Island). The storyline is chugging along at a good clip, and I am past the point of no return on it.

Burn Notice: I totally forgot that this had ended, so I got on Hulu and watched the finale. This season was a disjointed one, with the overall story not being all that compelling (felt more like a rehash of the Carla storyline), and the team being all weird around each other. They tried to sell us on a darker Michael, but it never paid off...until the last ten minutes of this episode.

Where we begin is with Gilroy freeing "Simon", a mysterious and very bad criminal. Simon turned the tables on Gilroy and blew him up good. We start from there, as Michael has to hoof it away from the Feds and get to a safe place. Before he can get his beloved Charger though, Simon blows up a food cart and draws Michael into an electronics store to deliver some exposition. Long story short, Simon is the psycho version of Michael, and his bad deeds are what they blamed on Michael in order to burn him. Simon wants Michael to deliver "Management" (i.e., Frasier's Dad) to him, otherwise a hotel goes boom. This was a weak part of the story, as it just seemed really obvious that Sam and Fi would take out the bomb, just getting them out of the way. Michael sneaks into his own place, calls Management, and spills the whole plan. While building a bomb, which was a neat scene. The weak part of the story was , once again, Michael's mom. The only good shot she got in was admitting that "taking one for the team" by protecting Michael is her way of making up for his crappy crappy childhood.

So we get our people into place; Management arrives, and Michael realizes too late that he's underestimated Simon. Simon gets away with Management, but Michael steals a truck (and also negates all the "I'm not going to be a line wolf anymore" progress he just made with Sam and Fi, another storyline that's driving me nuts this season) and chases Simon down. The ending has Michael holding a gun to Simon's head, about to pull the trigger. Management talks him (mostly) down, and Simon taunts Michael about how now Management owns Michael. The FBi scoops him up, and then we see him being led through dank hallways, wearing a jumpsuit and manacles, and a hood. The hood and shackles are removed, and he opens his eyes to...a tastefully appointed study...and scene. New episodes in June, so we'll see what happens next. Will his burn notice be revoked? Will he go somewhere that isn't Miami? Three months and counting.

Okay, comedies tomorrow (with luck). Three weeks worth of Community, The Office, and 30 Rock to catch up with.

This is why I watch LOST

"The story moves too slow"

"They never answer any of the questions"

"Nikki and Paulo sucked"

"They're just making it up as they go along"

Okay, the Nikki and Paulo thing is valid. Otherwise though, tonight's episode defies all complaints. Why? Benajmin F-ing Linus.

Ever since his first appearance as Henry Gale, Henry Ian Cusick has been elevating Lost with every appearance. Tonight was our "Ben episode", and it was a doozy. Best of the season so far, and when it's all said and done, may be one of the top ten, maybe top five, episodes of the series.

It starts off with Ben alone in the jungle and spotting Ilana (aka Ana-Lucia II), and her merry band of Miles, Sun, and Lapidus. He follows them to the beach where they start cannibalizing the old camp, since the Temple is no longer a safe place for them (being all full of corpses and all). However, Ilana shackles Ben to a tree and makes him start digging his own grave, for what he did to Jacob (Miles being the psychic snitch that he is). Interesting that we finally get a definition of Miles' abilities, as he's only able to tell the dead person's last thoughts and what happened right before their death, and only if he's near the body. Good to know.

Then we jump to Alterna-Ben...excuse me, Dr. Linus, as high school teacher and colleague of new substitute teacher John Locke. Linus feels put upon by the Principal (played by the snooty professor from Real Genius), but what can he do about it? "How about become the principal?", says Old Helpful Mr. Locke. The seeds planted, Linus comes home to his dad, good old Roger Workman, who is old and decrepit, and being taken care of by his good son Ben (instead of being "taken care of" by Island Ben). We get our first hint of new timeline events, as Roger did join the Dharma Initiative and they did go to the Island, but then they left. But why? And I guess Ben never got shot by Sayid? Oh, and here's Alex at the door. An Alex who isn't his daughter, but it his prize pupil. In the course of some extra tutoring, she reveals that the principal is giving the old hot lunch to the nurse, which sets Ben's wheels to turning.

Back on the Island, Hurley and Jack are on their way back to the Temple (although Hurley is trying to trick Jack into taking the long way), when Richard just pops right out of the jungle, and takes them in a third direction. They end up at the Black Rock, where Richard has decided that it's time to die. Jacob gave him immortality in exchange for service (and you said Lost never answers things!), but with Jacob dead and Richard never having been clued in to his grand plan, he's feeling a little emo (which finally explains the guyliner!) and wants Jack to help blow himself up. Jack agrees, but sits down right across from Richard after lighting the fuse, certain that based on the events of The Lighthouse, that Jack won't die. Wow, Jack went from unbeliever to full on drinking the Kool-Aid quickly, didn't he? Well, guess there's not much time to dally now. The fuse fizzles, and Jack's newfound mystical hubris can't be a good thing. Or can it?

Back in the "present", Ben enlists some help in hacking the principals email files, then confronts him with the evidence and his offer: Resign and recommend Ben for the top job, or have his career and marriage destroyed. However, nobody fucks with William Atherton, and he counter-blackmails Ben: He can have his job, but the last thing he does will be to destroy Alex's chances of getting into Yale. Ahh, so now we're coming around full circle: Ben has the chance to save Alex, which he wasn't able to do back on the Island.

And back on the Island, Not-Locke has shown up to offer Ben a chance to escape grave-digging duty and join Locke's Army at the Hydra station. Locke makes a break for it, gets the drop on Ilana, but can't shoot her. Instead, he bares his soul, explaining why he killed Jacob, and lamenting his own failure to save Alex when he had the chance. This is where the episode really grabbed me, as Linus has always been the man who manipulates and conspires in order to fulfill the destiny that he is sure he has: of power, leadership, and respect. All he ever needed to be, however, was a father. His own father tried and failed, and Ben followed in those footsteps. That rage, coupled with a nudge or two from Not-Locke, destroyed his life. In the obvious parallel, Locke's gentle nudge sets up another situation where Ben has the chance to put aside his personal goals in order to save Alex. And, after a quick headfake, we see that without the Island (well, without the current Island), he is able to make the right choice, saving Alex's future. Sacrifice. It is a theme, my friends.

So back on the Island, Ilana tells Ben that she'll have him (after Ben tells her that he's going to Locke because no one else would have him). Seriously, if you haven't seen it, watch the scene (or watch it again). It's a remarkable act of kindness towards a man who has seen so little of it. Ben and Ilana come back to camp just in time for Hurley, Jack, and Richard to show up. The love theme from Lost plays as we have a happy reunion, and it just about destroys me watching Ben's body language as he stands there, alone, as everybody else renews the bonds that they've made. Even if you'd never seen an episode, that scene right there just encapsulates Benjamin Linus. As the hugs and handshakes commence on the beach, a periscope breaches the water. For a moment, I thought Locke had already bailed, but it turns out to be...Widmore. WHOOOOOO!!! Can't wait for next week. Suck it, haters!

Castle: Nice to have an episode that just seemed like an excuse for some witty banter, with the actual crime somewhat on the back burner. Not that it wasn't a bad episode in that respect, we get the usual twists and turns, and some nice subtle things set up in the beginning that set up the end reveal well. The ability to make endless gags about the whole bondage scene though, that was where the episode earned the money. I have the feeling that this show could take the same characters, make them any profession, and still turn out winning episodes. The ensemble is just that much fun. Alexis' cheerleader subplot was harmless enough, and it was just a fun hour of television, so I'll leave it at that and just say "check it out if you haven't already".

How I Met Your Mother: Now this was an episode with layers. It starts out with Barney and this week's Special Guest Star: Jennifer Lopez. Barney wants her taco flavored kisses, but she's playing incredibly hard to get (while Barney is just incredibly hard: Up top!). Turns out, she wrote a book on playing hard to get, AND it turns out that Robin set her on Barney to get back at him for how cavalier he's been about their breakup. What looked like a light fluffy guest start showcase turned into a fairly deep episode about Robin and how badly she took the breakup. There were still laughs though, especially Marshall's "bangity bang bang" song regarding Barney's post-breakup conquests (even better was Ted coming in for a verse, followed by Barney playing the spoons). Ted's eerie "Superdate" song just came out of nowhere, but the Superdate sets up the finale, Barney promising not to nail J-Lo as way of making it up to Robin, then sending her on the Superdate with Don. The breakup of Brobin was very abrupt, and if this is what the writers had in mind all along for the post-Brobin episodes, then kudos to them. This show continues to chart new sitcom ground.

Mondays Are No Longer Huge!

Yes that's right, Mondays have now been diminished (well, some would say improved) because Heroes is over for the season, maybe even forever. No slight against How I Met Your Mother or Castle, because both of those shows knocked it out of the park tonight (especially a baseball themed Castle), but Heroes was one of the reasons I started this blog (mostly to rant about it) and now it is done with. Before the Heroes post-mortem, let's talk of happier times.

How I Met Your Mother: I was watching the Super Bowl and caught the bit with Barney in the stands holding a sign with his phone number on it. If you called, you got a phone message like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SETy6IMYmwk

Hopefully the link still works, but it's a cute recording of Barney telling you to meet him at MacLaren's Pub at a certain time and date (the one in the video is October of 2016). Funny bit, and I wondered if it would pay off on tonight's episode...and boy did it ever. The episode kicks off with Barney's sign, leading to his "magic phone" which is constantly ringing (with possibly the most annoying ring tone ever) from hot women who are calling. Quick aside; wouldn't some of the women be not hot? Or curious guys? Or curious gays? Anyway, logic aside, this leads to Barney being slowly driven insane with an unending stream of girls to score with, only he can't bring himself to settle on one long enough to do the deed, worried that there's a hotter one calling every time the phone rings. Also, since this is the Valentine's Day episode as well as the Super Bowl episode, Ted and Robin get romance related storylines. Robin's is about her co-anchor Don, who asks her over to his place on a date/to a party (depending on who you ask). Robin doesn't want to go, but the rest of the gang can tell that she likes him (or is just giving her shit about it), leading to the most confusing, yet most epic, sequence this show has possibly ever given us: the rabbit or duck argument. Ted brings out one of those optical illusions where it looks like a rabbit, but also looks like a duck (for the record, I saw duck first, and it took me a good 10 seconds to see the rabbit). The theory is that she thinks he's a rabbit (which is bad), but that he's actually a duck (which is good). The hilarity comes when Marshall pipes up that he thinks rabbits are way more awesome than ducks, which leads to a fast-forwarded argument in which the other three at the table debate/bully Marshall into changing his opinion. So many great lines in that scene, go watch it (or watch it again if you've already seen it) and enjoy.

As for Ted, he gives Marshall and Lily free reign to set up an arranged marriage date for him (thanks to the input of Ranjit, who, between the knitting and carrying Barney out of the bar, was comedy gold tonight) for Valentine's Day...which they forget about. Before the date, Ted accompanies Robin to Don's party, which just turns out to be Don doing "The Naked Man".. Whooo!!! Callbacks!!! Ted bails for his date, which in classic HIMYM flashback fashion, is revealed to be someone from the magic phone which Marshall and Lily had taken away from Barney. Ted (or should I say, Teddy Westside) falls under the spell of the phone before Lily dunks it in a pitcher of beer, ending the madness. Robin comes to work to find that Don has had a change of heart regarding his job (and even wore pants), and that should take us into some Don/Robin relationship stories for the next few weeks. Great episode.

Castle was also great tonight, going back to those basics that it does so well. The plots are your basic procedural stuff, well done but with all the twists in the right spots. I don't say that in a bad way; Castle does a lot with the procedural, but it's the small bits that make the show so good. I'm not always a fan of stunt casting, but Beckett being starstruck by meeting Joe Torre was such an adorable character moment for her that it just made the scene. My favorite bit though was back at the station when Esposito and Ryan are tossing a baseball back and forth while talking over the case with Beckett. Castle enters with his coffee, they toss the ball to him, and he misses the catch by a mile, sending the ball off to who knows where and he keeps talking without even acknowledging the miss. Small moment, huge character moment, and had me cracking up. Also present was perhaps the seeds of a larger storyline as we learn (through Alexis' genealogy project) that Castle doesn't know who his father is. Whether it leads to anything or not, it still led to a sweet moment at the end between Castle and Alexis, a duo who haven't been together as much in recent episodes, but which provides a lot of heart to a genre that doesn't normally go for it.

Oh, and RAY WISE!!! I know the whole "I'm calling my expensive lawyer" thing is pretty standard when the bad guy gets arrested, but I hold out a tiny shred of hope that the finale can involve Ray Wise trying to have the case thrown out because of Castle's involvement. Probably not a strong story post, but I just want more Ray Wise.

And finally (maybe literally) we come to Heroes. With as much as the plot dragged on all season, they sure didn't waste any time resolving everything in one episode. There's a little thing called pacing, and it works wonders when you're trying to keep your show on the air. Looking back at the season as a whole, there was so much that was just a huge timewaste and had little or nothing to do with the actual ending of the actual story.

We start off with Samuel...and big surprise, he's making a speech. Blah blah blah, oh hey big reveal, they're in Central Park. Not much of a surprise considering that Samuel was all "let's all go to Central Park" at the end of last week's episode. Samuel uses Doyle to force Emma to play Pied Piper (okay, Pied Cellist) and gather people around the Carnival.

Couple of quick thoughts: A) It's a carnival in the middle of Central Park, how much extra magic power voodoo do you need to get a crowd? B) Did they file the proper permits? Is there a "special" there with the ability to push through New York State bureaucracy? Not even one scene of a couple of cops asking around and getting taken out by Samuel? The guy is supposed to be evil by this point...SHOW US EVIL!!! He's a dirty Irish guy who loves the sound of his own voice and can control the weak minded...he's Bono, not Bin Laden.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Claire and HRG are stuck underground in a trailer thanks to Magnet-O', and quickly running out of air. Well, HRG is, Claire will apparently keep regenerating her lungs. Now, I'm no doctor, but I don't think "regenerating lungs" is the same as "getting air to her brain", but what do I know, I don't have a low-rated NBC series. Anyway, HRG almost gets to leave the show by dying with dignity, but Deus Ex Tracy shows up long enough to rescue them, draw a paycheck, then see if Doritos is still hiring. Oh hey, and the helicopter just showed up too! See what I mean about pacing? That could have been an episode of "trying to escape, having a heart to heart talk, Tracy rescues them", then the "go to carnival, do things there" stuff would be in the finale. Instead, they're rescued before we even have time to care about whether HRG might not make it.

Meanwhile, Parkman makes a sandwich. Well, he tries to, but the Human Xerox Machine is there, and they gang up on Parkman. Just before they can make him eat a turd, Peter and New Sylar knock out the Xerox Prime and the clones disappear. Parkman takes either way too long or way too short to be convinced enough of Sylar's change of heart. Oh, and speaking of heart...okay, so Parkman looks inside Sylar's mind to see if he's really repented. Parkman isn't convinced though, because "he's seen inside his mind, but not his heart". Oh give me a fucking break! This must have been written by the same anatomy expert who gave us Claire's magical regenerating lungs.

Now we go to Hiro, who has made a full recovery from his brain surgery/psychic trial/acid trip and is ready to just hop out of bed and do whatever it is he does. Luckily, the Plot Advancing Nurse comes in to tell Hiro what to do next, rather than force his actions to occur naturally within the story. It's an note from Charlie and she's an old lady! TWIST! Turns out, Samuel hid Charlie in the 40's where she lived out her life. In Milwaukee in the 40's. But now she's in the same hospital as Hiro for no reason other than to help out a lazy writer who just wants to get this season over with, apparently. Hiro offers to fix things, but Charlie has had a good Hiro-free life and doesn't want to psychically murder her offspring by undoing all the time travel nonsense. Charlie, must be the most tolerant character on all of television. Seriously, she gets taken away from her life, sent back to an era that doesn't have the internet or cable, and doesn't seem bitter at all. If you set her hair on fire, she'd probably be all "Oh, my hair's on fire...well, it was getting a little chilly in here". For that matter, Charlie has the ability to remember everything she's ever read right? And she's 60 years in the past, right? Shouldn't she be the richest woman alive from playing the stock market? Or from betting on sports (The Biff Tannen Method)? Or inventing stuff? I can understand hiding her superpower from people, but hiding foreknowledge of the next 65 years of history? Yeah, I know it goes into all the "don't mess with the past" stuff that Hiro's always babbling on about, but this is seriously just crap. Hiro and Charlie do the best they can with the material, and Hiro saying goodbye is a nice bittersweet moment, but it's nestled in a big basket of lazy crap writing. Just as they finish up, Ando gets the "it's time to wrap this crapfest up" call on the special Heroes Hotline or something, and they teleport to Central Park.

So now we have all of our players (well, all the players that didn't get ignored all season) together in Central Park, ready to wrap things up. Claire goes to try talking, since that worked so well every other time she's tried it. Oh hey, there's the plant guy! Geez, with that outfit, he was probably better off being homeless. Anyway, so Claire does the whole "catch up the audience on the season" thing, which the carnies are blowing off. Then Ray Park and HRG show up to back her story up, which doesn't do much else more. However, Xerox Guy shows up, and thanks to Parkman's mental instructions, confesses to his part in the shooting of Lydia. This causes the sheep...I mean carny folk to break up the family and get out of Dodge. Meanwhile, Sylar goes to save Emma from Fat Jeff Dunham, which is predictable and boring. Samuel has a freakout and runs on stage (ooh, to give a speech?) to start the earth-based massacre. Peter flies (flies? did I forget something?) into him and they have an incredibly boring dirt fight and talk about each other's dead brothers for a while. Just long enough for Hiro to show up, teleport everyone away, and then stay gone. Poor Masi Oka...let's get this guy on 24 or something.

So Samuel's power supply is cut off and he's led out in cuffs. Everyone gets to celebrate, and Volume 5 is over. Now here's Volume 6 and...oh crap, Claire's going to do something stupid. Thanks to the conveniently contrived news camera in her face, she decides to speak for everyone else with a power and out herself as a special, Midland-style. At least the climb to the top of the Ferris Wheel took long enough for every other character there to have the chance to react to it. Okay, and seriously? Having everybody just stare dumbly while she climbs? Lame. She lands, she heals, and it's over. Great, now the last thing I'll ever have seen on Heroes is Claire's dumb face staring at me.

Okay, so here's what kills me about this finale: There was no real reason for Sylar to be there to save Emma (or to turn good, for that matter), Hiro was only there as a freaking BUS, Claire and HRG were only in danger for about 8 minutes, and most of the other characters from this season (or seasons past) were just gone for no reason other than not being in the episode. Ensemble shows need ensemble casts, and this cast is Claire and Peter and then some other people who come and go. Sylar is a great character, but he has no consistency. Why should I buy into a reformed Sylar when he's only been reformed for 3 hours and he has a history of turning right back to evil? Why should a petulant and gullible teenage girl get to decide for everybody else that the world needs to know about specials? Why does Peter only have one facial expression? Heroes gave us a lame and boring villain, and lame and boring protagonists to "take him down" with. What did we really get out of this season? Claire might be gay, Peter...nothing, Hiro had a brain tumor and now he doesn't anymore, Sylar is magically good, and Samuel accomplished nothing. The whole season was a interminable march to this point, where the specials are now known about. Great, you spent 5 seasons getting us to Issue #1 of X-Men. If Heroes gets canceled soon, I'll come back with a full obituary of the series. Unfortunately, I have the feeling that it will come back to torment me for another season, so we'll just spend the time until then watching some much better shows.

Castleverage!!!

Why yes, I am enamored with that collision of words, thank you for noticing!

Castle: Started out amusing, with Castle as the #9 most eligible bachelor in New York, and going to great lengths to hide rumors of a romantic link between he and Beckett, from Beckett. Once that ended though, the story got a little slow, and culminated in a fairly predictable pas de deux on a "oh so coincidental" set of dates (Castle with Ms. #3 and Beckett with Mr. June). The editing was sharp, cutting between Castle and Beckett trying to puzzle out the case to their respective uninterested dates, unfortunately the writing wasn't up to par, and so my interest was waning. The wrapup wasn't even that entertaining, since they apparently couldn't spring for a big black snake to at least give us that much of a sight gag. Castle jumping/shrieking when shot at was funny though, but not enough to make up for the episode. Only average tonight...you can do better!!!

Leverage: Great episode tonight, as they swing for the fences by bringing back Nate's nemesis (Sterling) and ex-wife (Maggie). Loved the tensions between Sterling and the Leverage team; starting with Elliot beating the crap out of him, then Hardison's frequent references to almost blowing him up, and finally with even Tara becoming fed up with him. The "I really hate that guy"/"Now you're part of the team" exchange between her and Elliot was such a well-written moment. Elliott really shone in the episode too, taking over once Nate and Maggie were taken hostage. Sterling managing to get yet another promotion off of the hard work of Team Leverage was nice bit, although he may have earned it with his performance when Parker needed a distraction. Another great episode, and I can't wait to see what comes next week.

Thursday comedies were reruns, so enjoy the final Dollhouse tonight (if you're into such things), and I'll be working on doing a season's worth of catching up on it and some final thoughts about yet another entry in "Joss Whedon's Case Against Fox".

Only Heroes today

Oh Matt Parkman. Just when I think you couldn't get any dumber, you do something like this...




...and TOTALLY redeem yourself!

Okay, it's going to take way more to get me back on the Heroes bandwagon (which doesn't exist, because I can't imagine anyone defending this show anymore), but that was a pretty badass scene. When we left off last week, Sylar had come to Parkman to get him to take away his powers, thinking them to be the source of his insanity/homicidal rage/sweet eyebrows. Parkman fails to do so, so Sylar starts to go all cuckoobananas on Janice. Parkman has a quick huddle with his wife, who breaks with tradition for this show by offering good advice and tells Matt to "bury him". Parkman summons all of his powers of rack focus and shaky cam, and goes through the clip show of Sylar's mind, finding his deepest fear: of dying alone (thanks Hiro!). He pulls a "Dad move" and traps Sylar in his own mind, all alone...which is pretty awesome, I'm not gonna lie. Someone on the show is a Poe fan, because Parkman goes all "Cask of Amontillado" on him. For the record, add bricklaying to the list of things Parkman sucks at.

However, Peter picks that time to drop by, after dreaming a little dream of Emma, Sylar, the carnival, and the puppet master making Emma keep playing. After a depressing visit to mom, he comes to Parkman to find Sylar, then takes Parkman's power (without even asking! What a douche!). Quick scan of the pamphlet that is Parkman's mind, and he zips downstairs to wake Sylar up. Parkman does a little mental mumbo jumbo to Peter though, and Peter ends the episode wandering a deserted downtown area.

If that was the whole episode, I could have given it a high grade (if I actually gave grades here), but unfortunately it just wouldn't be an episode of Heroes without a few torturous scenes involving...

Claire. Sigh. Okay, so she swings by Bennet's place (who is off being in full HRG mode again, so we're going to call him that again) for a talk, only to bump into Blonde Agent, who decides to let Claire in so she can bask in the glorious assault plan (which apparently consists solely of "headshot, boom!"). She bails, and then goes straight for Samuel like the good little idiot character she is. She convinces Samuel to turn himself in, and then as he's giving, surprise, a speech to the rest of the carnies, someone opens fire on them. Babies and pets probably believe that it's HRG firing the shots, but everybody else waits until the inevitable reveal of the second gunman (just like in Dallas!). HRG picks him off, but it's one of Multiplicity Man's clones, then HRG gets coldcocked by another clone (or the real thing, who actually cares anymore) and dragged to the carnival to get blamed for the shootings. Meanwhile, Lydia catches a bullet and Samuel lets her make out with his soul so that she can explain what just happened for the aforementioned babies and pets. Thus, we learn our two lessons for the day: Claire is dumb, and the writers think we are equally dumb.

Oh yeah, and Blonde Agent gets shot and calls Tracy Strauss. Oh boy, more Tracy Strauss.

No HIMYM this week, but new Castle is on deck. Deuces! (as the kids say)

Castleverage!

Yes, they are so good, I've combined them into one delicious block of awesomeness.

Castle: What an episode! Tying the murder to Beckett's mom's killer came pretty much out of nowhere (well, except for last week's preview), and it made an average case much better. Not a lot of detection going on, although the Johnny Vong running gag was funny. It was the last few minutes of the episode that really sold it. The realization of the real killer, Castle putting his own money up to help catch the killer, Castle taken hostage, Castle's headbutt-fu, Beckett performing CPR on the killer at the end...great moments all, and the little coda with Castle and Beckett added a little more to their relationship without it going into "I love you, smoochy time!" territory. Plus, now we have the "who got Beckett's mom whacked?" question to carry us through the rest of the season.

Leverage: Awesome awesome awesome episode. Backstory on Nate, two cons in an hour and a half's time, hot redhead client...all the bases covered, and then some. Plus, instead of a shoehorned in Sophie appearance (seriously, I love Gina Bellman, but I'm ready for her to be back full time), we get Nate drinking again. Lot of stuff to take in, and only a few more episodes of Season 2.5 to do it in. Loved the reveal at the end, loved the loan shark's bastardization of the Leverage motto, loved the hiding places for the "emergency fund", loved the fat guard who ran away from Elliot. This is the episode to show people when they ask "is this show any good?". Because, yes it is good.

Scrubs and Better Off Ted: Both pretty darn good this week, with Scrubs finding a good groove with its med students, and Turk and Cox becoming a great duo. BOT, meanwhile, had a bagel tossing game and the very unsettling scenes of two people having sex via a translator programmed with Phil's voice. Really funny scene though, and worth watching for that alone. Actually, that was about the bulk of the episode, but it doesn't matter, it paid off and thus was worth it. Thursday comedies up next, and that'll be the week.

My poor neglected blog...

Ironic, that writing about TV for school has been preventing me from writing about TV for leisure. I'll be trying to catch up on the last couple of weeks of shows, plus finally catch up on FlashForward (even if it kills me). Also, there's new Scrubs, the return of Better Off Ted, and I "acquired" the first three seasons of Dexter, so I'm looking forward to digging into that. I'm also working on a post-mortem for Monk, which aired its series finale last week. For now though, let's knock out a few reviews and go from there.

House: The last two episodes have been pretty good, especially last week's "Wilson", which gave us more of our favorite oncologist than we've had in a while. Especially appreciated were the tiny glimpses of what House's weekly antics must look like from the outside; doing tests in the shower, tricking their way ahead of others to get into the OR, ill mariachi singers, etc. It's also always nice to see Aaron Sorkin All-Star Josh Molina again. It's also funny to see how House is starting to rub off on Wilson...even in a very tiny way. The Lucas/Cuddy storyline is innocuous enough, providing a little wrinkle in the House/Cuddy story, and giving House something to do. The Thanksgiving episode was really well done in that regard, so long as they don't backslide on it. "Wilson" was the better episode though, giving us character development and a nice departure from the Patient of the Week format.

Speaking of Wilson, Castle this week had an appearance from Cutthroat Bitch (Anne Dudek) as the ex-wife of an amnesiac murder suspect. I was digging the episode, as they didn't go the "his memory magically snaps back at the end" route, and left the reconciliation angle wide open. I honestly wouldn't mind seeing him come back later in the series, it was an interesting take on things. The mystery was well done as well, although the reveal was a little out of nowhere. Still, that screen time was well spent. The storyline with Mom Castle wasn't really doing it for me, but at least they've started making the character more than "Mona from Who's The Boss 2.0". Speaking of Who's The Boss, I also hear that Alyssa Milano will be making an appearance on the show coming up soon.

How I Met Your Mother has swing back around to Ted's love life, the central conceit of the show. The idea of "The Window" was amusing, and I have a friend (also a redhead) who has a similar dating pattern (although her window is slightly larger), so I was enjoying the episode on a few levels there. Barney in overalls, rattail Marshall, Robin trying to seduce that guy (spilling the wine was a great bizarre Robin moment), and Vanilla Thunder's inability to dunk. The time travel thing at the end really blew my mind though. Really. Like, LOST levels of mind-blowing.

Next time: Scrubs 2.0, Better Off Ted, and I give Heroes a tiny shred of praise.

Pimpin' Ain't Easy/"Mohinder" is Hindu for "Exposition"

Wow, Castle was genius tonight! Kudos to the writers on this one, as they managed to surprise me with this episode. Not in the standard "OMG Twist!" way either, but with a great character moment.

The plot starts out well enough; DA gets murdered, suspect list leans strongly towards someone he put away having a grudge, then it takes a twist...the DA was also running a call girl ring. Not bad, standard Law and Order twist, nothing earth-shattering. One of the call girls (Scarlett) worked in the DA's office, and tells Castle and Beckett that Jack Knox (one of the earlier suspects) was the one who killed the DA. Still standard. Then the girl shows up at Castle's place, all smacked around. They have a heartfelt moment, Castle drops her off at the hospital, then shows up back at the police station to surprise Beckett with a solved case and throw off a couple of witty quips. Instead, Castle has f'ed up royally, and Beckett lets him know it. The "outsider with a specific skill set helps the police" setup is all over TV right now, but this is one of the first I've seen that actually plays off the downsides of having an enthusiastic amateur running around with the professionals, and it does it in such a one-two gutpunch of reveals: that Knox checked Scarlett out of the hospital, and then her panicked phone call to Castle. The next scene has Castle decked out in his "WRITER" Kevlar vest, only the visual doesn't seem as funny anymore. Scarlett manages to shoot Knox and everyone lives happily ever after...except that Scarlett played EVERYBODY and is running the call girl ring. Almost one twist too many, as leaving it with Scarlett as the victim and Castle having learned a lesson would have been a pretty ballsy way to end the episode. The extra twist ending was by no means bad though. Great show, great acting all around.

Heroes, on the other hand, was merely adequate at best. After weeks of threatening, Mohinder finally comes back, and we get a tedious set of flashbacks as he uncovers a rare copy of "Exposition: The Motion Picture", and we finally start digging into Samuel's story...or what little there is of it. He was born at Coyote Sands, he has the ability to get more powerful when surrounded by supers, but he doesn't know it until two months ago. We also get to meet his brother Joseph, who has been keeping the secret of Samuel's powers from him all their lives. Nice to finally know it, but way too late to really make me care. Hiro goes back in time, gets the film, saves Mohinder (dammit), and then sticks Mohinder in a psychiatric hospital. If it's that easy, why not stick Samuel in there, then threaten to leave him in there forever if he doesn't tell him where Charlie is? Oh yeah, that would require good writers. Never mind.

Peter and Nathan continue to bore me, Parkman "probably" gets rid of Sylar in his head, Peter says "Screw Hiro" and swaps healing for flying, and Nathan just counts the days until he's written off the show for good.

Oh, and Claire and Tracy have a pointless pajama party. Meh.

How I Met Your Mother had a nice standalone episode (or as standalone as this show can get), as Barney decided to bounce back from his breakup by digging out: The Playbook.

HIMYM's strength lies in how their characters can have all of these complicated rituals, references, and lists; and The Playbook is another in that great tradition. It's a book detailing all of Barney's elaborate ways of lying to score with chicks. Best one: The Ted Mosby (dressing like Ted and telling women he was left at the altar). One most likely to become our Pub Trivia name: The Lorenzo von Matterhorn. Barney finishes with an epic "The Scuba Diver", and has grown absolutely zero as a person by the end of the episode. Robin, on the other hand, is given a wisp of a storyline in which she claims she'll be putting relationships on the back burner to focus on her job, followed by the Greek chorus of Ted and Marshall telling her that that statement is usually the last thing said before someone gets married. And in the final scene of the episode, she meets the hunky new co-anchor. Huzzah! Anyway, great palate cleanser of an episode after all of the Barney/Robin relationshippyness.

Almost Live, Definitely Dead, and Heroes Still In Purgatory

Sunday was a big night for Seth MacFarlane: His big comedy special, two new Family Guys, and The Cleveland Show. Hannah Banana was my favorite of the two, providing closure to the long saga of the Evil Monkey That Lives In Chris' Closet. The subplot with Stewie and Brian meeting Hannah Montana was slow, but picked up near the end, and had some great (and uncomfortable) jokes involved. The other episode was the mandatory "Brian enters another relationship with the usual results" storyline that comes around every other season. Technically sound with some good gags, but not all that satisfying.

The Almost Live comedy special, on the other hand, was an interesting departure for network television. Seth and Alex Borstein have a great chemistry together, and Seth's love of classic variety shows was in full effect here, although the "Family Guy: Live in Vegas" CD reamins his crowning achievement in anachronistic entertainment. The gags were hit or miss, but the Marlee Matlin bit is worth the time spent just on its own. Hopefully the ratings were good enough to spur a few more live specials, hopefully with the rest of the FG cast involved.

Now on to Monday...

Castle: A little bit of a ho-hum episode, sadly. Still enjoyable, but there wasn't much to sink my teeth into. I appreciated giving more screen time to Captain Montgomery, but the stuff with Castle's mom just sank like a stone. Nothing against the actress, but the role is just so very one note, it stands out like a sore thumb around the better written characters on the show. "Old person discovers the Internet" isn't interesting anymore, and the lack of any kind of payoff really made it a chore to get through. The twists seemed perfunctory, and the whole hour just felt like a trip to the outlet mall. Not a long trip, but nothing great on the radio and the scenery was just trees and billboards for Indian casinos.

I don't know if I'll win this year's award for Most Tortured Metaphor, but it'll be an honor just to be nominated.

Heroes: I'm not quite sure how I felt about this episode. I'm going to write tonight's review as optimistically as I can, and see what happens.

Hey, Peter has some motivation now! He's using his power at the expense of his own health, showing us the martyr complex that he's developed ever since his mother chose to lavish more attention on Nathan rather than him. That's character development! Good work, Heroes!

Hey, HRG was pretty bad ass tonight! And he brought the Haitian with him! And those two sorority girls from last week totally got Haitian'd! That's a word now! In all seriousness, the shot of him coming into Claire's room, gun drawn, was pretty cool. Nothing came of it, but it was a cool visual in a show that used to specialize in them. It's also a much needed plotline for HRG; the sins of his past coming to revisit him after he's resolved to turn over a new leaf. And Claire...was there. And her roommate left early in the episode! That's two wins!

Parkman was actually pretty good in this episode too, messing around with Sylar, then attempting to sacrifice himself in order to keep Sylar's memories from linking up with Sylar's body (which for some reason thinks that he's Nathan again). With the news/rumor that Adrian Pasdar is leaving the show, it's fairly obvious how that storyline will end...OR IS IT???

(Spoiler alert: Of course it is, this is still Heroes. It's either obvious, disappointing, or obvappointing)

Also, STILL NO MOHINDER!!! WHOOOOO!!!!

Coming soon: Will I have to review triple FlashForward? Will I ever watch V? Will the cool kids start calling it Five?

Very quick hits

Heroes: Well, that was a waste. An hour of convoluted time travel nonsense, just so Magneto can give Peter's Irish Barmaid a roommate? Throw a non-plot in with HRG non having an affair with a co-worker, just so we can get the awesome verb "Haitianed"? Meh meh meh.

Castle: Way better, as the scenes with Alexis continue to be good. Her assisting with exposition at the beginning of the episode was not only helpful to the police, but now Beckett sees the "Adult" side of Castle. Good scene, and set up fairly naturally with the characterizations we've already had working. Them's some good writing.

Story itself was okay, the usual parade of suspects and false leads. Figuring out the murderer from her final song was a little of a stretch, but Alexis reaction to the "cross her threshold" line sold it at the end. Good all around.

How I Met Your Mother: Ted (or, T-Mos) has been waaaay in the background the last couple of weeks as Ro-Ro and the Barnstormer are attempting to challenge Lilypad and Marshmallow for the title of Best Couple. Barney and Robin's methods for avoiding fights are great (Barney leaves, Robin strips), as was the situation in which neither method can be used (stuck on a ski lift). Marshall's speech to Barney about how he's forgotten more about being a good boyfriend than Barney will ever know was greatness, and it's great to see more Marshall after he was barely in some of the early episodes. The "bagpipes" gag was funny once or twice, but it's no "eating a sandwich". Upswing for the season, but still kind of treading water, plot-wise.

Coming next: Double shot of FlashForward, and eventually, V.

Eating, Drinking, and Killing...and it's not even the weekend

Monday was a night of surprises, as Heroes was good and Castle...well, I'll save that for later. Also, someone was surprised on Top Chef, and not in the good way. Intrigued? Well, then let your eyes wander another 3 millimeters down the screen...

Heroes: I'm not gonna lie, this was a good episode. Not good as in "I'm ready to declare Heroes to be awesome", but good as in "it told a story this time and didn't make me feel like I wasted in hour". After throwing a lot of new ingredients into the old Heroes gumbo, the storylines are finally starting to simmer and become something cohesive. Starting off, Samuel has gone from "really annoying" to "Ahh, he's supposed to be Magneto". He throws the hard sell on Tracy tonight, who is called into play by HRG to help Omega...err, Jeremy get out of legal trouble. HRG's still going by the Company playbook, which would be to get Jeremy out of town, then set him up in a new identity in D.C. while Tracy mentors him in using his powers. Samuel, on the other hand, wants Jeremy to come to Genosh...to the Carni-notsoevil where he can be around family. HRG's plan gets Jeremy out of jail, but is foiled by a combination of an angry mob, Jeremy speaking in class today, and a length of chain. HRG is sad, Tracy gets out her compass, and Samuel wanders into town to collapse the whole police station. Awesome visual, and after the events in town, you're pretty much rooting for Samuel at this point. He's going to need a Charles Xavier eventually though, otherwise it's just one badass with powers going against the Ambiguous Motivation Gang.

Meanwhile, Parkman gets jiggy with Mrs. Parkman, only it turns into a freaky three-way with Sylar, who also misses a golden "How do you like them apples?" setup. Parkman discovers that booze makes the problems go away...and makes Sylar go away too. Ahh alcohol: The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems. Parkman does shots while Sylar writhes in agony, then Parkman blacks out. When he comes to, his wife and sponsor are there for him, but then it turns out that...PARKMAN IS SYLAR NOW!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! EEEEEEE-VIL!!!!

But yeah, Sylar tricks Parkman (and really, how hard has that ever been?) into letting Sylar take control, and now Sylar is driving the bus. The big, empty, shlubby bus.

And Claire did something boring.

On to Castle! Best first minute of an episode ever, as Nathan Fillion gets back into the Captain Tightpants outfit for the first time in too long. I like that this show isn't afraid to turn directly to the camera and give us a big ol' wink like that. Also nice were the nods to Ryan and Esposito's former gigs (Ryan was a doctor/Seamus Dever was on General Hospital, and Esposito was a soldier/Jon Huertas was in Generation Kill) at the big costume party at the end. In between was a fairly good vampire story, some more good scenes between Castle and his daughter, pretty much everything that keeps this show running smoothly.

Top Chef: Poor Mike. Unfortunately for him, the Foreshadowing Elves had it out for him. To be honest, I'd feel confident any time Robin was in the competition, as she's been in the bottom so often, Lisa from season 4 might have to come back to take her down. Fun episode, as they get all excited about cooking meat, then find out that Natalie Portman (who is OMGCute as always) is the guest judge, and is a vegetarian. I blame all that milk in The Professional. Anyway, the game plan shifts, and Jennifer, Mike, and Robin land in the bottom three. I'm a little surprised that Kevin won again, considering all the praise they had for Eli, but I guess vegetables that feel like meat win out over lighter fare. Jennifer is totally freaking out, and she may be headed for a burnout and an explicable "Robin the final five" scenario. Robin has been "second worst" so many times, and it's always surprising that cumulative scores aren't part of the judging criteria for who goes home. Then again, maybe his leeks were just that bad. Also, there were dick jokes, so see the episode for that alone.

House and The Ghost of Kumar Go To Watch Castle

Castle: First off, good news in that Castle has been picked up for a full season, and has been doing well in the ratings (although being on after Dancing With the Stars doesn't hurt either). Secondly, I really dug this episode. Not the beginning, as it had two of my least favorite things about television; a character facing a decision that would radically change the premise of the show (that they almost never actually take), and Debi Mazar. The decision in question is a potential offer for Castle to write the next three James Bond novels. Honestly, I stopped paying attention to those after Craig Shaw Gardner stopped writing them, but I can believe that a major author taking over the franchise would be a plum assignment. So the question becomes: Will Castle stick with the Nikki Heat franchise (thus staying in close contact with Beckett), or will he write his childhood hero and cash a MASSIVE check? In true Castle fashion, they avoid the maudlin "he stays because of his feelings for Beckett" route and go with the "Nikki Heat sold well, so his publisher will pay him even more money to write more of those" instead. There were a few good moments between Castle and Beckett though, although I'm worried that the tension is inching closer to "will they" instead of "won't they". After tonight though, I have faith that Team Castle probably has a new spin on things if they do pair the two of them up.

The plot of the episode wasn't bad, with some of the twists coming a mile away, but a very sweet ending nonetheless. However, one sequence just encapsulated everything I dig about this show. They are chasing a suspect through a kitchen, and Castle and Esposito do the "you go right, no you go left" dance as they try to get past each other going opposite directions. Then, Castle can't help but grab a taste of a dessert as he races through the kitchen. Two great bits of character development that take place in an action sequence, and my description doesn't do it justice. Just go watch it on Hulu. Now!

House: House is continuing to be great this season, and the great healing of House is actually still going on, not being dropped to go back to Classic House. Don't get me wrong, he's still the sarcastic grump we all know and love, but its balanced by genuine character moments. Tonight, it was a tease to a return of Crazy House, as he hears voices at night. However, it's just Wilson talking to Amber at night because of how much he misses her. At the very end of the episode, House starts a conversation with his father, which is a pretty powerful moment, given their history. It's a good sign that this show is evolving.

Unfortunately, it's also the return of the House/Cuddy mating dance. Even if they actually pull the trigger on it, I don't know whether it actually helps the show out or not. Foreteen's relationship storylines were fairly dull, and the inevitable disintegration of the Chase/Cameron pairing is slogging along as well. The only saving grace was Chase's scene in the confessional, and the scene at the end with him coming home drunk is not a good sign for the future. At least the POTW had a happy ending, and we got some sweet parkour in the beginning. It's just not the same without them all yelling "PARKOUR" and kicking stuff over though.

FlashForward is next on the list, and Top Chef this week is Restaurant Wars! Hot diggity!

A Castle is also a House

Time to get the stink of Heroes off of me, with a double dose of goodness.

Castle just continues to be a show I enjoy. The plots are entertaining, but not breaking much new ground (although the reveal of this week's case was inspired). However, it's the interaction between the characters, some sharp writing, and a general sense of fun that keeps this show in my good book. Nathan Fillion owns this character, and he truly is the straw that stirs the drink. There are elements of Captain Hammer in his Rick Castle, only his super powers are money and fame, which team up to get him pretty much anything he wants. In the end though, it's the scenes between him and his daughter that prove to be some of the best moments in the show. They don't even feel like good acting, they just feel right. Tonight's episode features layers upon layers of cons, leading to a light discussion of great con movies, and Castle's unrestrained glee at watching another master storyteller at work, albeit in a different medium. I can't recommend this show enough, it's just the most fun I have all week watching TV.

House is still making for some compelling television as well, as the old team is back in the saddle again, although with vastly different dynamics from the "good old days". Chase and Foreman are still dealing with their actions in last week's episode, in which Chase fakes a lab result in order to make sure a genocidal tyrant dies on the table. I was expecting it to get dragged out a little longer, maybe with a character dogging their heels, similar to the David Morse storyline from a couple seasons ago. It looks like it's mostly wrapped up, although I'm sure that won't be the case when its all said and done. Thirteen gets moved out of the way for now, as the next few episodes seem to be all about redefining roles within the team of House, Foreman, Cameron, and Chase. There was a nice bit about how House likes power and puzzles, but the last time he had both, it sent him into Vicodin addiction and insanity. We've established that he needs the puzzles, so can he deal without the power or not?

The Patient of the Week is more of a MacGuffin than usual, as it's his rich dad who signs away his fortune in an effort to reverse his karma and save his child. The real karma issues haven't been resolved yet, as Chase (and to a lesser extent, Foreman) is packing a pretty heavy load of bad karma. Since Foreteen seems to be broken up for good (for now), will Cameron and Chase be able to stay together, especially with what's weighing on Chase's conscience now?

Top Chef, FlashForward, Thursday night comedy (including the return of 30 Rock!) and Dollhouse are coming up this week. I'm going out of town for the weekend, so I'll catch up when I can. Might I suggest leaving some comments? Yes, I'm a comment whore now, what's up?

Heroes and Castle and House: Oh My!

Everybody knows that Wednesday is the new Monday, right? Here we go...

Heroes: Despite the sinking feeling I have throughout every episode (or maybe that's just the vacuum cause by their ratings), I still dug a couple things about "Acceptance". Masi Oka, who deserves better, capped off a giant turd of a storyline with a couple of really nice moments at the end of the episode. Now maybe if they'd spent a little more time letting him act instead of putting him through the Groundhog Day of copy machine sabotage, they'd be able to string together a consistent episode once in a while. Oh, and his sister is wicked hot.

No Parkman to go with no Mohinder! Oh Heroes, you're spoiling me.

Triple Fake Nathan manifests another of Sylar's stolen powers, accessing Nathan's memories through his psycho...eh, who cares what it's called, it's probably ripped off from a Grant Morrison X-Men comic. Anyway, Nathan pulled a Teddy Kennedy-lite back in his youth, and Mom Petrelli covered it up. Sylathan's conscience drives him to confess his crime, which would be an interesting character development in a better show, but for Heroes is probably just another stop on the Plot Tram. The dead girl's mom hires an assassin to off Nathan, who gets buried in a shallow grave for about 20 minutes, then Sylar's eyebrows dig him out. The whole "Sylar emerging from the ground" was pretty cool, mostly because it means Zachary Quinto is back. No, I don't count any scene with Parkman.

Claire and HRG were on screen, and I'm sure said words and performed actions, but Claire is screen death for me at this point, so the less said about her, the better.


Castle wasn't as sharp as usual, but the overblown Fashion Week storyline drove most of the visuals, to the detriment of the story. The performances were fun to watch, as always, and there were a couple of nice scenes between Castle and his mother, a dynamic that usually gets lost in the shuffle. This is the first episode that I'd give a B to, if I graded these things. I expect it to jump back to A material next week, just because I do.


House, on the other hand, knocked it out of the freaking park! James Earl Jones, the return of the original team, House's shenanigans with the downstairs neighbor, Chase's actions at the end...just wow. I hope they don't drag the fallout from this out for the whole season, but this is the meat of a good 4-5 episode arc if they play it right. A lot of different views were explored without any one thing being crammed down our throats, which is the biggest surprise of the episode. House's efforts to change as a person are really well done, and Hugh Laurie needs a boatload of Emmy's. Well, he doesn't need them, but he should get them, dammit. Just when you think the character had hit the wall creatively, they turn on a dime and create a whole new set of things to explore. House has worked its way into my regular rotation starting next week. I may need to touch myself now.

Monday Night: Continued

Oh Heroes, it's so nice to have you back. Not "back" as in "back from a summer off" but "back" as in "back to the same crap that drove me nuts last season". Claire: still boring. Peter: Still dumb. New characters: still terrible. Sylar: Still awesome. He's even more awesome this season because they've decided that the best use of his talents is to attach him to the Anchor Known As Matt Parkman. Sylar is hitching a ride inside of AKAMP's head, and by episode 2 has already learned how to use Matt's powers to mess with him, causing him to beat the bejeepers out of a drug dealer and forcing him to use his Care Bear Stare to cover it all up. Let's find a way to have Sylar hitching a ride with ALL the Heroes characters, just for the fun of it. Hell, let's stick Sylar on every show. Jay Leno will jump at the chance. By the way, Jay, Chevy Chase is standing by with an October calendar and a bottle of champagne.

Claire and the World's Most Annoying Roommate (too annoying for an acronym) continues to be the fourth most interesting story in a three story plot this week. Gretchen (must...resist...urge...to...call...her...Retchin...) knows about Claire's ability, and keeps bugging her about it. HRG starts to call in The Haitian, but Claire insists she can handle it. And handle it she does, by spilling every last bean to her new BFF. Hey Noah, send The Haitian my way, I want to forget how to turn my dial to NBC on Monday nights.

Peter the Heroic Paramedic lumbers on, first meeting a deaf chick (who looks a lot like Amy Sedaris, but not enough for me to look up whether she is, in fact, Amy Sedaris) who can see sounds as colors. Big deal, so can every third person at a Phish concert. Inky Circus Vaguely-Irish Guy (I'll try and remember his name for next week...maybe) messes with Peter's head, uses his wacky ink powers to give Peter one of those sweet moving compass tats, and drops Exposition Manor into a sinkhole. So does he have earth powers, ink powers, or is this special dirt-based ink? Or does Tim Kring even care anymore?

Almost forgot how much I hated the deaf chick character. First of all, I think we learned from Maya that any character with yellow subtitles is a bad character. Secondly, her power blows. Thirdly, her power blows. Fourthly, we didn't get a Hiro update so that we could be introduced to Dazzler 2009? Her scenes were subtle character moments in a series that wouldn't recognize the word subtle if you spotted them the "sub".

But hey, no Mohinder for a second week in a row. If they would promise no Mohinder for the whole season, I'd buy a DVR and Season Pass this bitch.

Thankfully, my sacrifice was rewarded with a new Castle. It must be some kind of unspoken code that every murder procedural has to do a "Strangers on a Train" episode, but leave it to the geniuses at Castle to actually make it an entertaining ride. A fun open shows the kind of wacky characters that get arrested in NYC on a full moon (it's pretty much any six episodes worth of Night Court extras), then leads to the Murrrrrrder of the Week. A second murder comes in, and Castle decides to place a wager with Dets. Ryan and Esposito. It's a minor bit of business that is still made entertaining and fun by a very talented cast, and leads back into the main story when the two cases intersect. It's nothing ground-breaking as far as the mystery goes, but it's just so much fun to WATCH. It literally is the journey, not the destination, and if Castle doesn't turn Nathan Fillion from "nerd icon" into "big damn star", then there is no justice in this world. The father-daughter dynamic between Castle and his daughter is one of the best written familial relationships on television in a long while, showing genuine affection between the two of them, and not reducing either one to a caricature for the sake of a joke. This show just radiates charm on all levels, and I still giggle to myself when I see Castle in his "WRITER" bulletproof vest. Seriously, now is the time to get into this show if you aren't already.

American Dad had a great season premiere too, and I'll be working on a compare/contrast piece eventually between Seth McFarlane's three shows (Family Guy, American Dad, The Cleveland Show), as the trichotomy is really interesting to me.