Great Castle, Greaterer Lost

Holy crap Lost...just...holy crap. But enough about you, let's talk about Castle.

After last week's lackluster episode, Castle bounced back hardcore with "The Late Shaft", a nice mystery that also managed to skewer about three or four different talk show stories of the last few years, and give a little shirtless Nathan Fillion...for the ladies.

Castle is a guest on the Bobby Mann show, played by "Dancing With the Stars (and Kate Gosselin)" host Tom Bergeron. Next thing you know, Bobby is dead, and no one but Castle thinks it was anything but murder. One set of tox screens (and a lot of owed favors) by Lainey later, and it turns out that it was...probably murder. Murder by MAOI inhibitors that were triggered by balsamic vinegar, hidden in cranberry juice. Yes, really. I'm going to just assume that the science is correct, because the alternative is some weird "hey, you got your salad dressing in my bladder infection cure" scenario that none of us want to contemplate. The game is afoot, and they begin unraveling the tangled web of crime. For the record, I had the case solved about halfway through...which I suppose is the point. Meanwhile, Castle is nailing his couch-mate from the talk show, a lovely lady who it turns out is just banging him to try and get the Nikki Heat role in the Heat Wave movie. And oh man, I can't wait for that to enter the show (probably Season 4). They do the usual "banter our way through every other suspect before solving the cast" routine, and it turns out that it was the sidekick that dunnit. One hates to see a second banana go rotten. *ducks thrown shoes*

And now for Lost. Pardon me for a second:

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Okay, I'm better now. So tonight's episode "Everybody Loves Hugo" is one of my favorite flavors of Lost; a Hurley episode. Kicking us off is a slide show of Hurley's Alterna-life, followed by Marvin Candle (aka, Miles' dad) giving Hugo a Man of the Year award for financing a new paleontology wing. Go Hurley! Afterwards, Mama Hurley sets up Hugo on a blind date, since ladies aren't exactly falling all over him. Okay, suspension of disbelief time: There's no way a rich guy isn't getting a few gold diggers throwing themselves at his wallet. Back to the story.

Back on The Island, there's a sweet scene with Hurley sticking a flower in Libby's grave, and talking to her. Well, not "to" her, since she's one of the few dead people to not come back and yell at him. But you know who is here to yell at him? Michael!!! Nice to see you! And spooky title card.

Back at Spanish Johnny's (the most generic name for a Mexican restaurant ever), Hurley is plowing through chips. Rosalita doesn't show, but guess who does? Libby! Everybody gets a trip back to Hawaii! Libby is still crazy, and she claims to remember Hurley from somewhere. After last week, I'd have said "still crazy", but since Desmond can walk between worlds, I'm ready to believe anything. Libby gets put back in the crazy people van, and...

We're back on the Island. Ilana's got some dynamite (which Michael warned Hurley about, but what can you do?), but she pulls an Arzt and blows herself up real good. Poor Ilana, just when I'd remembered her name too.

Over at Locketown, Locke tells Sawyer that they have to leave The Island together, the same way they came back, which means they need to assemble Hurley, Jack, and Sun before they can fly the Anjira plane out of there. Sayid comes back from his kidnapping mission, and brings Locke over to where he's got a surprisingly calm Desmond tied to a tree. The two talk, and Locke unties Desmond because Desmond's "got nowhere to run to". A man without a country, to be sure.

Hurley paws through Ilana's stuff (hey, if she didn't want him to look through it, she'd have told him, right?) and grabs her Bag O' Jacob.

And then boom, right back to Alterna-Hugo, who orders a bucket of chicken from TV's Samm Levine! Desmond happens to stop in for some wings and a biscuit. Coincidence???

Oh hey, back to the Island. Ben, in his usual sunny way, rationalizes Ilana's death by saying "the Island was done with her", and speculating what will happen when the Island is done with the rest of them. Good point, and the death toll is likely to rise. More on that later. They make it to the Black Rock, and then wonder where Hurley is. How do you lose Hurley? Ever? All of a sudden, Hurley comes...lumbering, i guess...out of the jungle, followed by the Black Rock going asplode all over the place.

And back to Hugo, who bribes his way into the loony bin for a sit down with Libby. Libby doesn't remember much, but she does remember plane crash...and an island. Spooky. Hurley asks her out on a date, and...

We pop back to Locke and Desmond, just strolling around the Island, no big deal. Oh, and there's that weird kid who might be Jacob, but probably isn't. Unless he is. And he has a big stick.

By the burning remnants of the Black Rock, Richard is pissed, and makes a new plan to try and scavenge explosives from Camp Dharma in order to blow up that plane. Ben's down with going too, but Hurley puts his foot down and says that Jacob wants them to go talk to Locke. Richard asks Hurley to prove that Jacob is really talking to him, and Hurley nuts up and tells Richard that he doesn't have to prove anything to him. You go, Hurley! In the end, Jack, Sun, and Lapidas follow Hurley, while Ben and Miles head back to Dharmaland with Richard. After a lot of walking, Hurley confesses to Jack that Jacob really didn't talk to him, and Jack tells him that he's pretty much done giving orders. Jack is just going to kick back, trust Hurley, and see what happens next. Interesting switch for Jack, who was Mr. Leader back in the day (and for every day thereafter). Amazing what smashing one lighthouse up will do for your demeanor.

So then the creepy whispers start up, and Hurley wanders out on his own to do something about it. Instead, Michael shows up again, and they have a chat about how he and the other spirits are people who can't move on. Ahh, so Libby has moved on, hopefully. He's also very sorry about shooting Libby, which I suppose is nice of him. Dead people are decent people.

Aww, Hugo and Libby are finally getting to have their beach picnic. Hurley is nervous, but Libby's all smooth, and she kisses him, triggering his memories of the Island days. Okay, that's really spooky. Oh, and Desmond is watching them from his car, like a creeper.

Speaking of Desmond, he and Locke finally make it to their destination: an old well. A deep well, one dug by hand because it is so old. How deep is it? So deep, we don't hear Desmond's splash when Locke chucks him down in it. Buh? Apparently this is Locke's way of keeping Widmore away from...from whatever he wants. Poor Desmond.

Desmond...is back in his car, only now he's being all super-creepy at the school where Locke and Ben teach. Ben comes over to make sure Desmond isn't a pedo, and Desmond makes up a story about his boy, Charlie, and how he'll need a school. That lie (or "lie") came awfully easily. He sees Locke wheeling towards the parking lot, and guns the engine. And then calmly plows through Locke. Wow. Locke got airborne there! Ben kneels over a fallen Locke, who is still alive as we cut to black. LOST...

Wow, so shit's starting to get real. Whatever walls are keeping the Island and the Alterna (or Bizarro) World apart are starting to come down, Locke not only has Desmond out of the picture (or is he), but now the Oceanic 5 + Jin are all intact. Richard's off trying to blow up the plane, and Alterna Life is starting to get interesting. Is it a parallel world? A dream state? And just what happens if NotLocke gets off the Island. We are down to a handful of episodes left, and you couldn't pay me to miss a single one. Back in seven days, folks.