Well, that's all I got out of tonight's LOST anyway. Don't get me wrong, I'm not turning on the show or anything, but after last week's two hours of OMG'ing all over the place, this episode fell a little flat. Not terrible flat, just like going to work the day after your birthday. Everything was all exciting and crazy, now you have to settle in. And what better to settle in with than a Kate episode. Sigh...
Okay, I don't hate Kate, I swear. She's just not all that interesting to me, and so when the show focuses on her, my focus drifts elsewhere. It probably happened back in the early days, when Jack and Sawyer were the Archie and Reggie fighting over her freckly Veronica (of course, this means Juliet is Betty). So, we have three main storylines tonight: Alternate Universe Kate escaping from The Man, Island Kate escaping from The Others, and then The Mystery of the Resurrected Sayid.
First off, AU Kate. Still cuffed, she hijacks a taxi, terrifying the driver and the passenger...a very pregnant Claire. After the driver bails out at a red light, Kate takes over the wheel, then kicks Claire out (after demanding her purse...what a bitch) and drives to the local friendly auto shop owner, who of course doesn't mind taking Kate's handcuffs off with no questions asked. Kate goes through Claire's bag for a change of clothes (not stopping to realize that it'll be nothing but "Baby on Board" maternity stuff and Kajagoogoo t-shirts), but finds baby stuff instead (umm, Kate? You did see that huge belly on her, right? Did you think she was just coming from a hot dog eating contest?), feels bad, and goes back to where she kicked Claire out to give her stuff back and offer her a ride. Claire and Kate pull up at the house of the couple who was supposed to adopt Claire's baby, only to find out that the husband ran out on the wife (who wants to wager on the husband being an Other or Dharma guy or something like that?) and so the lady has to say thanks but no thanks to the little bundle of joy. Oh Claire, don't you know you're supposed to call "no backsies" when giving your baby up for adoption on the other side of the planet?
So Claire freaks out, which causes the baby to hit the eject button and start clawing his way to freedom (and a gig on an E-Trade ad, most likely). Kate, the Most Helpful Carjacker Ever, drives Claire to the hospital and hangs out with her while ETHAN ROM!!! does an ultrasound and offers to induce labor. Claire blurts out Aaron's name (which just "came to her"), and her and Kate have smiley lady bonding. And that's about it.
Meanwhile, back on the island, Sawyer gets his gun and checks out of Camp Other. Kate offers to go bring him back, but it's just her cunning plan to escape, thanks to one of Russo's traps, and the worst guards ever; one of which knows her from the first time she escaped from jail. Small world! She heads back to Dharmaville and sees Sawyer being all mopey about Juliet and the life he left behind. Meanwhile, Jin has gone looking for Sun, only he gets caught up to by the old guards. Just as he's about to get capped by one of them, the dude gets shot...by Island Claire! Welcome back, Island Claire!
Back at the Hidden Temple, Sayid gets dragged away by some Others to be "tested", which looks a lot like "tortured", 24-style. Jack busts in for some answers, and the guy in charge gives him some medicine to give to Sayid, to get rid of the "infection" that is supposedly inside of him, post-resurrection. Jack refuses, and asks what's in it. Not getting an answer, he swallows it, then gets it kung-fu chopped right back out of his esophagus because...IT'S POISON!!! Yep, apparently some dark mojo got all up inside Sayid, and will slowly take over his mind/body...just like it did to Jack's sister. Sister? Oh yeah, Claire. Island Claire. Who hangs out with Jack's dead dad. Yeah, shit just got real.
So where are we at? Kate's on the run, Claire's back on the show, Sayid may be turning evil, and Sawyer is sad. Nothing from Locke and the Shadow of the Statue gang this week, which will hopefully be rectified soon. It's a long season though, and we'll need patience to get through it. Answers, they are a'coming. See you back here for Leverage!