Nothing on Lost was as awesome as Robots vs Wrestlers...

Don't get me wrong, Lost continues to be amazing heading into the final three hours or so of the show. However...Robots vs Wrestlers!

Let me explain, see How I Met Your Mother started us out with this awesome mixing of awesome things (and the gang's new tradition), and turned into a decent Ted episode. Including the Fourth Doppleganger!

This episode sets the table for a lot of things though: Robin not being with the group as much, which triggers Barney's fear that the group will fall apart, Ted's inherent douchey side, and then Marshall and Lily talking about when to start trying to have a baby. Also, Robots vs Wrestlers.

Poor Ted. Every time he tries to bring up some of his high-falutin interests, someone makes a fart noise to interrupt him. He gets an invitation to a fancy penthouse party in the mail (of Marissa, the previous tenant of his apartment), and drags the gang along...on the same night as Robots vs Wrestlers. How do you do that?

Great guest casting in the party, however, as Ted gets to hobnob with Peter Bogdosian, Ariana huffington, and Will Shortz. I remember Will from my years as a subscriber to GAMES magazine, so it's good to see him on my screen. The rest of the gang bails, as Ted decides to forgo Robots vs Wrestlers in order to stay and keep being the life of the snooty party. And there's where Marshall, Lily, and Barney run into...Mexican Wrestler Ted.

Yes, the fourth doppleganger has been found, and when Ted gets the picture on his phone, it makes him realize that he is approaching the "too much douchey" mark, and runs to be with his friends. In the end, Barney's fears fail to come to pass, Robin comes back just in time to interrupt Ted's poem with a fart noise, and Marshall and Lily realize that they can compromise on starting a family...at least until they find the last doppleganger.

Castle was decent, involving Demming helping out on an odd murder case, and Castle being all jealous and adorable. The metrosexuality between Castle, Ryan, and Esposito was funny, as was a few notes of a "Sex in the City"-fied version of the Castle theme in the background. Well played, music guy! Not much happens until the end, as Castle spies Beckett and Demming smooching, which should kick off our run to the season finale.

Now for Lost. Tonight was finally our Jacob and Man in Black flashback. And they litereally go back to the very beginning, as Jacob and MiB's mom (Claudia) washes up from a shipwreck and is helped by Allison Janney (unnamed). Claudia births her boys (wrapped in light and dark blankets, natch), and then Allison Jannet totally murders her with a rock. LOST.

So now the boys are teenagers, and MiB finds a box on the beach. Somehow he knows it's a game (with white and black rocks for game pieces), and he teaches Jacob to play (similar to how Locke taught Walt how to play backgammon). Jacob can't lie to Mom, and tells her about the game. Mom comes out to talk to MiB about it, and tells him that there's nothing across the sea, and that he'll never have to worry about becoming dead. The boys do a little boar hunting, but run into the survivors of Claudia's boat wreck. Asking Mom about this, she gives them a lecture on how much people suck, and how she made it so they can never hurt each other. She then blindfolds them and leads them to a waterfall and a glowing cave. The light from the cave is the source of...well, everything, apparently. The light inside the cave is an analog for the light inside of us, just more of it, and if the light goes away, then so do all of us.

Later, Jacob and MiB play the game some more...Jacob complains about the rules, and MiB tells him that one day he'll get to make his own rules and make him follow them. Hmmm. MiB sees his mother's ghost, and follows her to the village where the others (or...The Others?) live. miB tries to drag Jacob with him to go join their people, but Jacob is having none of it, and beats the tar out of MiB. MiB still goes to the village.

Flash to the present, where adult Jacob is still a mama's boy, but he still travels to visit his brother and play the game. MiB has found some of the spots on the Island where the electromagnetic energy is high, and they've dug wells to get closer to them. And hold Desmond, in a pinch.

Mom comes to visit MiB down in the well, and he shows her where they've broken through to the light. There's also the wheel (the one that transports Ben from the Island to the desert), which will channel the light. Mom knocks MiB out, like a bitch. Then she takes Jacob back to the original light cave, and names him the protector of it. The light is the heart of the Island, and the source of potentially everything. She claims that going down into the cave/into the light won't kill you, it'll be worse than death. Hmm, wonder how she knows? She pours him wine (from the bottle we saw in the Richard Alpert episode) while chanting, and makes him drink to become the protector.

MiB wakes up, sees the village burned to the ground, and his light-holes filled in. Man, she was busy. He's pretty pissed, and goes to mess up Mom and Jacob's place. She comes home to see the wreckage, and finds the box with the game in it, with (say it with me) one white and one black stone; then gets a dagger through the back, prison-style. She thanks MiB for killing her, then dies. Jacob comes home with the firewood, and beats the tar out of MiB again. This time though, he drags MiB back to the source and tosses his ass down the hole. What comes out?

The smoke monster.

Yep, that just happened. Jacob drags MiB's body back to the cave and arranges him next to Mom, then puts a bag in his hand with (say it with me) one white and one black stone in it. Then we get flashbacks from season 1 of Jack, Kate, and Locke finding the skeletons and the stones, just in case you forgot what went down.

And there you go. We know the story of Jacob and MiB, and the stones, and the origin story of the smoke monster. Next week...I dunno, the preview was vague. More present day Island fun though!

Lost! Live!

Turned in my final script today, so I'll have the time to catch up with a lot of television. Doctor Who has been burning a hole in my brain, trying to get out. Tonight though, another very special live-review of Lost.

We have four episodes left (with the final episode being a two hour behemoth), and things are heating up, but not quite at that boiling point. There wasn't an episode last week, so anticipation is high. Let's get right into it:

Alterna-Locke is waking up, perhaps with an intact spine? Jack asks about Locke's original spinal injury. Oooh, Locke's a Candidate? Nope, just a candidate. For boring old experimental spinal surgery. But Locke says no? Hey, is that Katey Segal? It doesn't look like her. I guess Sons of Anarchy takes up ones time.

Jack's on a boat! He's on a boat! He's on...Hydra Island? The rest of the Losties get herded to the polar bear cages. Sawyer gets the drop on one of Team Widmore, and gains one rifle. Widmore points a gun at Kate, and reveals that he's only interested in the Candidates; that Kate is expendable. Widmore says something, and I miss it :( I need a TiVo.

Hey, it's Bernard! Doing dentistry! Jack's digging up some dirt on Locke. Alterna-Locke. And the 815-ness continues. And Anthony Cooper was the mystery other man in Locke's mystery accident.

Sayid's telling Jack about the aftermath of the missile attack. The rest of Camp Smokey bailed or got themselves dead, so it's down to Sayid, Jack, and Not-Locke now. Not-Locke's ready for a rescue mission...which of course ends on the plane. And off the island. Not-Locke threatens to kill Jack and the other Losties...or at least lets Jack know in no uncertain terms that he can if Jack doesn't help him.

Back in the cages, Sawyer is pissed. And lets Kate know about her crossed out cave name. Aww, and Sun and Jin are having a moment. It's about damn time. Oops, there go the lights. Dharma didn't pay the bills? Oh Hurley, you are such the optimist. Aaaaaand here comes the Smoke Monster. Kate reaaaaaaaches for the cage key, but Jack shows up to grab it and unlock the door. And Lapidas was soooooo close to kicking it open, all cool and stuff.

Jack says he's not meant to leave the Island. Definitely drinking the Kool-Aid. And Sayid pops in, after his good job of disabling the generators. Should have known.

Oh hey, here's Alterna-Jack looking for Anthony Cooper. This is seriously freaking me out if this really is Katey Segal. I just don't think it is though. Gah! Oooh, Cooper is a vegetable.

Not-Locke approaches the plane, and can't be stopped by mere bullets! He snaps a couple necks, and steals a watch? A watch? Laughing at the Gilligan's Island-style stairway to the plane. Locke goes all Steven Seagal and finds a buh. No, not a buh, a bomb. Well, I'm assuming it's a bomb anyway. The Losties also make it to the plane, and Lapidas is happy to finally have something to do. Sawyer "son of a bitch"'s his way past the dead plane guards. Yep, it was a bomb. I win. Now Smokey wants to take the sub instead of the plane. Hurley brings up the excellent point that SMOKEY SHOULDN'T LEAVE THE ISLAND. Smokey gathers the troops to go after the sub, leading to...yes, more walking. Sawyer drops back with Jack and asks him to help make sure that Smokey doesn't get off the Island. Ahh Sawyer, always plotting.

Back from commercial, and Jack is back with Alterna-Locke. Did he just say "Push the button?" Oh hey, and there's Claire. Aaaaaand an Apollo bar. Claire inherited a mystery box. And this Jack has found another 815'er. The mystery box is a music box, although I don't recognize the tune. Jack invites Claire over to stay with him. Familiar bond? Or Gathering?

Back on the Island, and they're already to the sub. This season is not fucking around with a lot of walking anymore. Sawyer's Eleven (or Dirty Dozen) heads out to the dock and infiltrates the sub. Sawyer makes it to the captain, and the rest of the gang heads to the dock. Jack knocks Not-Locke into the water. Shooting occurs. Kate takes one in the shoulder from some hidden tree sniper. Locke shoots a lot more of Widmore's people, although being damp is probably making him cranky? Sawyer locks the sub up with Claire and Locke outside, then tells Lapidas to shove off. Claire is sad to be left out of the party, but Locke tells her that she doesn't want to be on that sub. Oooh, sneaky. Locke left the bomb in Jack's backpack. With less than four minutes to go before it blows. Tension!

Jin tells Lapidas to surface, while Sayid takes a look at the bomb. Looks like they can't surface in time. Jack goes into "Candidates are immortal" mode. Jack's new theory: Locke can't leave until the Candidates are dead, and he can't kill the Candidates on his own. Jack asks Sawyer to trust him one more time. Then they do the old "pull the wires and make the timer countdown faster" trick. Sayid grabs the bomb and takes one for the team, big time. I don't think Widmore is getting his deposit back on that sub now. The sub is filling with water fast, and the ladies are in big trouble. Hurley is tasked with saving Kate, and the rest of the menfolk stay to help Sun out from under a plot device. A heavy one, too. Sawyer gets knocked out, and now it's looking real bad for Sun. Guess we'll find out which one was the Candidate, huh? Jack makes it out with Sawyer, and now I'm going to be sad, as at least one Kwan looks to be dying here. Oh snap, looks like both. They profess their love and have one last makeout as the sub slowly sinks to the bottom of the ocean. Sad Lost music plays, as we see their hands drift apart under the water. And black.

Break for sadness.

And back to the hospital, Jin passes by Locke as he's being wheeled out. Jack comes up to say goodbye...and meddle, I'll wager. Ahh, Locke's accident was in a plane crash this time, a plane that Locke was flying. So the wheelchair is penance in this reality. Jack throws out a "what happened, happened", and advises Locke to let go of the guilt. Jack claims that he can help Locke, and wishes he believed him. Locke just rolls off.

Jack drags Sawyer out of the water, and Kate and Hurley are okay too. Hurley breaks down at the news that Jin and Sun are gone. Jack weeps at the ocean. Locke knows that not everyone died on the sub, and now he's off to finish what he started. And end.

Next week: Backgammon! L'il Jacob! Adult Jacob! Man in black! And?

See you in a week. Doctor Who, I swear, is next on my list.

If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with

I'm just going to type a little about House, since this is the part that shows up on Facebook (hi, Facebook!), and I hate giving Lost spoilers. Like how Sawyer is really a velociraptor.

House "Lockdown" aired a week or three ago, but it was on Hulu, and I likes me some House. I guess this was their version of a bottle episode, as the hospital is on lockdown due to a missing baby. This gives us some wacky mismatched pairings, in the form of Taub/Foreman and Wilson/Thirteen, then Chase and Cameron locked in a room (oh, how sitcom-y), House in with a terminal patient, and Cuddy left to solve the Case of the Missing Baby.

Taub/Foreman was funny, as they both pop a couple of Vicodin to "feel like House" for a few hours, then wind up doing records room shenanigans, before reading each others files and doing the whole "I wish I was you/No, I wish I was you" gag.

Wilson and Thirteen play a game of Truth or Dare, where Wilson's relationship with House is examined for the hundredth time, Wilson breaks into a cash register, and Thirteen has to flash her boobs to Taub. Oh, and did we get a first name there?

Chase/Cameron was the meat, and it wasn't that meaty at first, but we finally get some truth and maybe some closure to the two of them. Good acting from both, and it's nice to see Cameron back, although it's likely a one shot deal (he said, as people who have seen the most recent two episodes are probably giggling at me).

Cuddy finds the baby.

And finally, we get another iteration of House dealing with his own issues through those of a patient. I dug the consequences of the 19/20 cases that House doesn't take, and how casually he mentions that most of those people die. Even the best in the world can't help everyone. The rest was standard stuff for the show.

Honestly, I enjoyed the episode for the change of pace, but there wasn't any bombshell dropped. Good character moments all, though.

Okay, now for Lost.

This was an episode about gatherings. Technically, this is one of those "move the pieces around the board" episodes, like a game of Starcraft or something, but more than that, it was about getting our Losties back with each other, after separating them for much of the episode. And if there really is something special about our Candidates, then getting them this close together is going to allow for some serious stuff to go down soon. We start off where we left off, Hurley bringing Jack, Sun, and Lapidas to Locke's camp. Jack confronts Smokey, who freely admits who he is, and thanks Jack for bringing Jack's body with him, so Smokey would have someplace to stay. Which is also how he was Jack's dad. Question answered, internet!

Alternate Locke is in an ambulance with Ben, and arrives at the hospital just as Sun and Jin do. See! Gatherings! Sun doesn't seem happy to see Locke though, freaking out and saying "It's him". Looks like lack of language isn't the only thing starting to bleed through for our special few now.

Claire talks to Jack, and let's him know that he's firmly with Locke now, whether he meant to or not, because Jack let Locke talk to him. That seems to be another theme of this season, that once Smokey talks to you, you're under his spell. Remember this phrase: "You're with him now".

Sawyer and Hurley, a pairing I have missed greatly. Sawyer lets Hurley know that Sayid has gone to the dark side, but you never give Hurley a Star Wars metaphor, because he'll just say that people can be turned back from the dark side...you know, like Anakin.

Sawyer: "Anakin?"

Ahh, missed you two. Oh, and we're back to Alternaworld, with Det. Ford and Kate. And Miles. And apples? And Sayid caught on tape...he's a jabonie?

Back to the Island; Zoey comes in with an ultimatum: Give back Desmond, or missiles go kablooey in their camp. Locke is unimpressed with the threat, and rounds up the gang to move to the boat and go to Hydra Island to take the fight to Widmore. He sends Sawyer to pick up the boat and sail it to the rendevous point, but he instead tells Jack to gather the cool kids and meet him at another dock for some subjacking and escapery.

Alternaworld again, Desmond bumps into Claire (bumps into...riiiight) at the adoption agency, which is on the same floor as Desmond's lawyer buddy...who is Ilana! Oh hai! Missed you since you got all blowed up. Turns out she's been looking for Claire because

Oh hey, back to the Island. Locke sends Sayid to whack Desmond. Desmond's all "why are you gonna kill me, brother?", and Sayid's all "Cause Locke said he'd give me Nadia back". Moral ambiguity!

Back to Alternaworld, I'm getting whiplash. Methinks the shorter intervals might be meant to imply that the walls between these realities are getting thinner and thinner. Anyway, Miles and Sawyer team up to catch Sayid (who gets tripped by a hose? Seriously?).

Island: Locke goes back to find Sayid, Jack grabs the Breakfast Club and head to the boat, Claire sees them and follows.

Alterna: Jack meets Claire, but before he can emote, he gets paged for a hospital emergency. GATHERINGS!!!

Island: Jack and Sawyer have a heart to heart. Jack doesn't think it's time to leave, Sawyer doesn't give a damn about mystical Island crap, he's getting himself a sub and getting home. Sawyer pulls an Air Force One and tells Jack to get off his damn boat...and Jack does. Right into the water.

Alterna: Sun wakes up, her and the baby are fine, and Jin is happy. Life's pretty good if you're a Candidate, huh? Jack walks by on his way to do some spine operating, and notices that his patient is (all together now, kids) Locke!

Island: Sawyer's gang makes it over to Widmoreville, Sun and Jin are finally reunited (which might have been more powerful if they hadn't been together all the time in Alternaworld, but still nice to finally see) (oh, and Sun knows English again now), then Zoey and the rest of the henchmen tell Sawyer that the deal is off. Jack swims ashore, and Smokey walks up with the rest of his expendable pals. Missiles start flying all over the place, and Locke picks up Jack and carries him to safety. What's the last thing Locke says to Jack? "You're with me now". And scene.

So we've got Jack isolated from the pack and with Locke, everybody else is with Widmore, and the hospital seems to be the locus for whatever's going to happen on the Alternaworld side. The end is getting closer and closer, and now that everybody is getting closer together some serious shit's about to go down.

Back in seven for more Lost.

Once again: Lost and Castle

So thanks to college basketball, there has been a dearth of new episodes of my usual shows. However, two shows refuse to roll over and cede their timeslot to sports. I thank you, Lost and Castle.

Castle this week was one of the "Dull case, fun business" episodes that I really have to be in the mood for. In this case, it was a guy getting squished by a gargoyle, which led to a mummified Mayan king and a wacky curse that let's Nathan Fillion be zany, but doesn't really add much to the story. On the other hand, there wasn't much story, so let the zaniness ensue!

The case was a never-ending series of false leads, double-backs, plots within plots, and it almost had me asleep. Castle's antics were much funnier, what with the detectives pranking him hardcore in order to make him believe in the curse. Honestly though, the coffee machine blowing up was over the top, both for the show, and as a believable act by Beckett (and Ryan, and Esposito). Then the story takes an odd serious turn (more of a slight divot), as Castle asks Beckett to take care of Alexis if something did happen to him. Came out of nowhere, and that was a revelation that would have been better suited to a more serious episode, honestly. The case finally comes to an end, and then Beckett gets a Mayan activist (who has conveniently been hanging out in a cell all episode) to tell Castle how to "Reverse the Curse". However, whatever he has to do, happens off-screen. Why?!?! All that, and you don't give him one last bit of physical business to do, as a payoff for an entire hour of boredom? Not a great episode, unfortunately, especially coming off of last week's incredible two-parter.

Lost, on the other hand, was outstanding. People (okay, mainly ladies) looooooove Desmond, and we got all we could handle tonight. We start out with Desmond (aka, last week's "Package") waking up with Zoey tending to him. Widmore comes into the room, and Desmond goes apeshit on him with an IV stand. Widmore needs Desmond for a test, and as we see from the sciencey stuff around (and Angstrom the bunny), it involves electricity. A LOT of electricity. Desmond is the only person to have survived a major catastrophic electromagnetic event (aka, the one that brought down 815 all the way back then), and they need to test him...using big coily things that fried the crap out of the poor redshirt as they were dragging Desmond out there. They toss him in the box (oh yeah, Jin is there, too, not that it makes a difference), and he gets zapped...

And wakes up as Alterna-Desmond! There's Hurley! And Claire! George the limo driver/hooker acquisitionist takes Desmond to see Widmore, whom he works for. And hugs. Desmond has money, a sweet life, and no family. Poor Desmond. He gets to pick up Charlie (squeeeee!!!, said the fangirls) from jail and chaperone him long enough to play a gig with Widmore's son. Charlie heads over to the nearest bar, and the two drink while Charlie asks him about love, and shares a vision he had (probably about Claire) when he was choking on his Bag O' Smack back on 815. They hop in the car, and Charlie grabs the wheel and sends them crashing into the marina (in like ten feet of water, it looks like). Desmond can't save Charlie, but dives back down to try again. Charlie puts his hand on the glass, and Desmond has a flashback to Charlie drowning back in the underwater station (with "Not Penny's Boat" written on his hand). Desmond gets Charlie out of the car, and we join him back in the hospital with a nasty head wound. They pop him in an MRI machine (magnetic resonance, in case you didn't know), and they triggers visions of Penny. He freaks out and bolts to try and find Charlie, running into Jack. Charlie comes flying out of another room, bare ass flapping in the breeze. Charlie tells Desmond that "none of this matters", and that he should look for Penny.

Desmond heads over to the charity ball to break the bad news about Driveshaft to Widmore's wife...Eloise. She seems nonplussed by the news about Charlie, saying (wait for it...) "What happened, happened". Walking away, Desmond overhears Penny's name on an invitation list, but then Eloise flips out when he asks about it, saying he's not ready for her, and to stop looking. Walking away, Desmond is approached by Widmore's son...Daniel Faraday (pianist, not physicist). Woot, I missed him. Faraday (sorry, Widmore...ahh hell, Daniel) talks of love, of seeing Charlotte (not named as such though) and drawing advanced physics equations in his notebook. Ahh, so apparently memories are bleeding through to this dimension/reality/etc. Daniel is afraid that this world isn't supposed to exist, and he has the nagging feeling that he blew up a nuclear bomb at some point to create this world. Lucky for Desmond, Daniel knows where Penny (his half-sister...ooh, who's the mother?) will be...running stairs in an empty stadium (echoes of the past!). Desmond shakes Penny's hand...

And wakes up back in the electric box, back on The Island. He's only been out for a few seconds, and now he's all totally willing to help Widmore with his mysterious project. Seems like Widmore needs Desmond to help set reality straight maybe? Just a guess. Desmond and the gang head out, and make it about twenty paces before Jack Bauer...err, Sayid pops up, snaps a neck, and tells Zoey to run. He tells Desmond to come with him, and Desmond does, just like that.

But wait, there's more. We flash over to Alterna-Desmond, who has come to after fainting from Penny's touch. Interesting. She agrees to meet him for coffee, and he heads back to the limo. He asks George for a whore...I mean, for the 815 passenger manifest, because he wants to "show them something". And we're out.

So, Desmond (who as we all remember, is the Constant) is back in play, and looks to be a very important piece in both timelines. We're really starting to get rolling with only seven more hours of Lost left...ever.

Oh, and next week, we get a Hurley episode, and some Michael! Yeehaw!

Lost and Castle

As busy as I get, I've never got so much on my plate that I can't pause and talk about two of my favorite shows: Lost and Castle.

Lost up first, since I just watched it, and it's definitely a "Setting the table" episode. This time, we catch up with the Kwans. One's a Candidate, the other is not. Sun is with Jack at the beach, Jin is with Locke and the gang. Both are really tired of not looking for their spouse. Meanwhile, in Alterna-Land, Jin is tied up in a freezer and found by Sayid (in the Sayid episode a few weeks back).

We roll it back to Sun and Jin arriving in LA and having their Bag O' Cash confiscated by The Man. They head to the hotel (separate rooms? lame), where Jin worries about business, and Sun seduces him with some sexy neutral toned lingerie. *cat noise* Martin (guy who shot Ben's daughter/guy who Sayid shot) shows up to collect his watch, and then his money. He takes Jin to the restaurant (which is how he gets into the freezer), and his buddy takes Sun to get the money out of her bank. Oh, but Sun's account has been closed by her dad. Oh, and Martin reveals that the money was Martin's fee for capping Jin. O irony! Sayid does his shooty thing, gives Jin a box cutter (so he can free himself), and leaves. Jin shows up, shoots Martin's friend through the damn eye, and then Sun is bleeding, crying...oh, and pregnant.

Back in the Island, Sun revists her garden from all those years ago, tells Jack to get lost (JOKE!!!), and then Not-Locke comes in to talk to her about how he's got Jin, etc. She runs, whacks her head on a tree, and wakes up forgetting how to speak English. Is there a writer who runs a bootleg subtitle business on the side?

Almost forgot the beginning of the episode: Spooky nightvision stalking of Camp Smokey, followed by everybody getting free neck darts and falling down. Jin gets taken and wakes up in Room 23, where Alex's boyfriend was sitting in the Happy Fun Brainwashing Chair. Liz Lemon tasers him, then agrees to take him to see Widmore.

Ahh Widmore; he got to meet Not-Locke...from the other side of a sonic fence. Psst, just tip the stupid pylons over. Anyway, Not-Locke announces that the Island is now at war. Also, Desmond was in the mysterious locked room on the sub. Chew on that for a week, brother.

Meanwhile, Castle pays off it's cliffhanger in full, Beckett having survived the apartment bombing by jumping in the tub. Castle busts down the door, then they have a cute scene as Beckett refuses to let him see her naked (as all the towels and robes are...well, on fire). They go back to square one on tracking down their killer, and finally get a hit on his name. They head to his Kevin Spacey in Seven apartment (which Castle digs, of course), and almost corner him, but he's just too sneaky. So sneaky, in fact, that he gets the drop on Agent Shaw, and now the ball is in the killer's court. Oh how sneaky.

The climax is a big step in the Castle/Beckett relationship, as Beckett trusts Castle (with a gun, no less!) to be her backup as they go after the killer. Beckett tussles with the killer, and is in peril and at gunpoint when a shot from Castle knocks the gun right out of the guy's hand. Castle, in true Castle fashion, was aiming at the guy's head. Well played. Whether this effects the partnership more (and more importantly, when can we get Dana Delany back?) will be shown in the coming weeks...and in Season Three, which just got ordered by ABC. Heck yes, this is good news. More Castle can only be more awesome.

In other news, watch you some Community. It is quietly becoming one of the funniest, and most solidly put together shows on television at the moment.

Catching Up: The Dramas

Ahh, so much good television watched, and so few chances to blog about it. Okay, let's tackle these in some semblance of order. First off, Castle.

Castle. I love you Castle. Just when you were starting to get a little fluffy, you turn things up to 11 for the post-Dancing With the Stars crowd. This week's episode was shades of the first episode, with a serial killer obsessing on Castle's books. This time, it's Nikki Heat who is inspiring the killing, and it's important enough to bring the FBI in, spearheaded by Dana Delany (looking nothing like her China Beach days). Castle and Delany instantly hit it off, with Castle bouncing ideas off of her (the way he does with Beckett, awww), and entranced by the shiny FBI toys that she brings along. This serial killer likes to taunt Detective Heat...err, Beckett, and is constantly a step or three ahead of the good guys. The puzzles were excellently done, and some of the softer scenes worked out well (like Castle at Beckett's place). Even better, the incredible cliffhanger ending was really well done, upping the stakes even after I realized what was coming. Also, Beckett in the shower. Well played. Can't wait for next week.

Lost was some good times this week too, taking a short break from the regular Losties and delving into the story of one Richard (sorry, Ricardo) Alpert. In a bold move, most of the episode takes place in 1867 (now that's what I call a flashback!), and follows Ricardo as he loves his sick wife, accidentally kills a doctor, arrives home too late to save her, cannot recieve absolution from a priest (important), gets sold to a boat captain (working for someone named Hanso!), brought about the Black Rock (!), crashes into the Crocodile statue (!!), comes face to face with the Smoke Monster (!!!!, oh, and the encounter leaves his eyes permanently guylinered), and is eventually rescued by...The Man In Black (!!!!!). The MiB gives him the ceremonial Short Sword of Godkilling and sends him off to kill Jacob (with the same "don't let him speak" warning that Dolan gave Sayid). Instead, Jacob goes Chuck Norris on him, then offers him some wine. He explains that the Island is like a cork that keeps evil (in this case, the MiB) from escaping into the world. Jacob doesn't want to directly influence the people brought to the Island (which appears to be test subjects in the battle of good and evil that Jacob and the MiB are playing, but he does recruit Ricardo to be his Agent, working to guide the people who come to the Island. Oh, and gives him eternal life. And a suave haircut, one would think. Finally, Richard buries his wife's cross under a convenient bench.

Back to the future, Richard goes to that bench, digs up the cross, and starts yelling that he wants to join Team Smokey now, but instead finds Hurley. Who is talking to Ricardo's dead wife. They have a well-acted reunion, and Richard is brought back into the fold. However, looking on is...Not-Locke! I enjoyed this episode, stepping out of the current story to give us a boatload of backstory and answer a few questions. I also really look forward to seeing how the metaphor of MiB smashing the wine bottle (the one that represents the shell holding evil inside) rather than remove the cork (aka, the Island). The storyline is chugging along at a good clip, and I am past the point of no return on it.

Burn Notice: I totally forgot that this had ended, so I got on Hulu and watched the finale. This season was a disjointed one, with the overall story not being all that compelling (felt more like a rehash of the Carla storyline), and the team being all weird around each other. They tried to sell us on a darker Michael, but it never paid off...until the last ten minutes of this episode.

Where we begin is with Gilroy freeing "Simon", a mysterious and very bad criminal. Simon turned the tables on Gilroy and blew him up good. We start from there, as Michael has to hoof it away from the Feds and get to a safe place. Before he can get his beloved Charger though, Simon blows up a food cart and draws Michael into an electronics store to deliver some exposition. Long story short, Simon is the psycho version of Michael, and his bad deeds are what they blamed on Michael in order to burn him. Simon wants Michael to deliver "Management" (i.e., Frasier's Dad) to him, otherwise a hotel goes boom. This was a weak part of the story, as it just seemed really obvious that Sam and Fi would take out the bomb, just getting them out of the way. Michael sneaks into his own place, calls Management, and spills the whole plan. While building a bomb, which was a neat scene. The weak part of the story was , once again, Michael's mom. The only good shot she got in was admitting that "taking one for the team" by protecting Michael is her way of making up for his crappy crappy childhood.

So we get our people into place; Management arrives, and Michael realizes too late that he's underestimated Simon. Simon gets away with Management, but Michael steals a truck (and also negates all the "I'm not going to be a line wolf anymore" progress he just made with Sam and Fi, another storyline that's driving me nuts this season) and chases Simon down. The ending has Michael holding a gun to Simon's head, about to pull the trigger. Management talks him (mostly) down, and Simon taunts Michael about how now Management owns Michael. The FBi scoops him up, and then we see him being led through dank hallways, wearing a jumpsuit and manacles, and a hood. The hood and shackles are removed, and he opens his eyes to...a tastefully appointed study...and scene. New episodes in June, so we'll see what happens next. Will his burn notice be revoked? Will he go somewhere that isn't Miami? Three months and counting.

Okay, comedies tomorrow (with luck). Three weeks worth of Community, The Office, and 30 Rock to catch up with.

This is why I watch LOST

"The story moves too slow"

"They never answer any of the questions"

"Nikki and Paulo sucked"

"They're just making it up as they go along"

Okay, the Nikki and Paulo thing is valid. Otherwise though, tonight's episode defies all complaints. Why? Benajmin F-ing Linus.

Ever since his first appearance as Henry Gale, Henry Ian Cusick has been elevating Lost with every appearance. Tonight was our "Ben episode", and it was a doozy. Best of the season so far, and when it's all said and done, may be one of the top ten, maybe top five, episodes of the series.

It starts off with Ben alone in the jungle and spotting Ilana (aka Ana-Lucia II), and her merry band of Miles, Sun, and Lapidus. He follows them to the beach where they start cannibalizing the old camp, since the Temple is no longer a safe place for them (being all full of corpses and all). However, Ilana shackles Ben to a tree and makes him start digging his own grave, for what he did to Jacob (Miles being the psychic snitch that he is). Interesting that we finally get a definition of Miles' abilities, as he's only able to tell the dead person's last thoughts and what happened right before their death, and only if he's near the body. Good to know.

Then we jump to Alterna-Ben...excuse me, Dr. Linus, as high school teacher and colleague of new substitute teacher John Locke. Linus feels put upon by the Principal (played by the snooty professor from Real Genius), but what can he do about it? "How about become the principal?", says Old Helpful Mr. Locke. The seeds planted, Linus comes home to his dad, good old Roger Workman, who is old and decrepit, and being taken care of by his good son Ben (instead of being "taken care of" by Island Ben). We get our first hint of new timeline events, as Roger did join the Dharma Initiative and they did go to the Island, but then they left. But why? And I guess Ben never got shot by Sayid? Oh, and here's Alex at the door. An Alex who isn't his daughter, but it his prize pupil. In the course of some extra tutoring, she reveals that the principal is giving the old hot lunch to the nurse, which sets Ben's wheels to turning.

Back on the Island, Hurley and Jack are on their way back to the Temple (although Hurley is trying to trick Jack into taking the long way), when Richard just pops right out of the jungle, and takes them in a third direction. They end up at the Black Rock, where Richard has decided that it's time to die. Jacob gave him immortality in exchange for service (and you said Lost never answers things!), but with Jacob dead and Richard never having been clued in to his grand plan, he's feeling a little emo (which finally explains the guyliner!) and wants Jack to help blow himself up. Jack agrees, but sits down right across from Richard after lighting the fuse, certain that based on the events of The Lighthouse, that Jack won't die. Wow, Jack went from unbeliever to full on drinking the Kool-Aid quickly, didn't he? Well, guess there's not much time to dally now. The fuse fizzles, and Jack's newfound mystical hubris can't be a good thing. Or can it?

Back in the "present", Ben enlists some help in hacking the principals email files, then confronts him with the evidence and his offer: Resign and recommend Ben for the top job, or have his career and marriage destroyed. However, nobody fucks with William Atherton, and he counter-blackmails Ben: He can have his job, but the last thing he does will be to destroy Alex's chances of getting into Yale. Ahh, so now we're coming around full circle: Ben has the chance to save Alex, which he wasn't able to do back on the Island.

And back on the Island, Not-Locke has shown up to offer Ben a chance to escape grave-digging duty and join Locke's Army at the Hydra station. Locke makes a break for it, gets the drop on Ilana, but can't shoot her. Instead, he bares his soul, explaining why he killed Jacob, and lamenting his own failure to save Alex when he had the chance. This is where the episode really grabbed me, as Linus has always been the man who manipulates and conspires in order to fulfill the destiny that he is sure he has: of power, leadership, and respect. All he ever needed to be, however, was a father. His own father tried and failed, and Ben followed in those footsteps. That rage, coupled with a nudge or two from Not-Locke, destroyed his life. In the obvious parallel, Locke's gentle nudge sets up another situation where Ben has the chance to put aside his personal goals in order to save Alex. And, after a quick headfake, we see that without the Island (well, without the current Island), he is able to make the right choice, saving Alex's future. Sacrifice. It is a theme, my friends.

So back on the Island, Ilana tells Ben that she'll have him (after Ben tells her that he's going to Locke because no one else would have him). Seriously, if you haven't seen it, watch the scene (or watch it again). It's a remarkable act of kindness towards a man who has seen so little of it. Ben and Ilana come back to camp just in time for Hurley, Jack, and Richard to show up. The love theme from Lost plays as we have a happy reunion, and it just about destroys me watching Ben's body language as he stands there, alone, as everybody else renews the bonds that they've made. Even if you'd never seen an episode, that scene right there just encapsulates Benjamin Linus. As the hugs and handshakes commence on the beach, a periscope breaches the water. For a moment, I thought Locke had already bailed, but it turns out to be...Widmore. WHOOOOOO!!! Can't wait for next week. Suck it, haters!

Castle: Nice to have an episode that just seemed like an excuse for some witty banter, with the actual crime somewhat on the back burner. Not that it wasn't a bad episode in that respect, we get the usual twists and turns, and some nice subtle things set up in the beginning that set up the end reveal well. The ability to make endless gags about the whole bondage scene though, that was where the episode earned the money. I have the feeling that this show could take the same characters, make them any profession, and still turn out winning episodes. The ensemble is just that much fun. Alexis' cheerleader subplot was harmless enough, and it was just a fun hour of television, so I'll leave it at that and just say "check it out if you haven't already".

How I Met Your Mother: Now this was an episode with layers. It starts out with Barney and this week's Special Guest Star: Jennifer Lopez. Barney wants her taco flavored kisses, but she's playing incredibly hard to get (while Barney is just incredibly hard: Up top!). Turns out, she wrote a book on playing hard to get, AND it turns out that Robin set her on Barney to get back at him for how cavalier he's been about their breakup. What looked like a light fluffy guest start showcase turned into a fairly deep episode about Robin and how badly she took the breakup. There were still laughs though, especially Marshall's "bangity bang bang" song regarding Barney's post-breakup conquests (even better was Ted coming in for a verse, followed by Barney playing the spoons). Ted's eerie "Superdate" song just came out of nowhere, but the Superdate sets up the finale, Barney promising not to nail J-Lo as way of making it up to Robin, then sending her on the Superdate with Don. The breakup of Brobin was very abrupt, and if this is what the writers had in mind all along for the post-Brobin episodes, then kudos to them. This show continues to chart new sitcom ground.

Robin is a Hooker...also, Lost Live!

Yep, we're finally back from the Olympic hiatus, and since I'm home sick from work tonight, I'm going to fire off some live thoughts on Lost over the course of the episode. But first:

How I Met Your Mother: Good episode last night, focusing mostly on Ted, but introducing yet another new concept in the HIMYM-verse; that of The Hooker. This is a person who keeps stringing another person along without actually dating them, like a date in a glass case that you can break in case of emergency. While discussing Ted's hook situation, Lily admits that she's had the nerdy cafeteria guy at work on the hook for a while. Aww, poor guy. Ted's Hooker is a pharmacutical rep, which Barney proclaims to be the current "hottest chick profession" (even hotter than stewardess? Or gatherer?). So we get Barney nailing pharma-girls, Ted baking cakes (from a mix!) and giving footrubs, Robin hooking one of the camera guys at work, and Lily unable to let poor Scooter off the hook...maybe it's the tater tots. It all comes to a head when Ted's Hooker (which would make for a good episode title) breaks up with the boyfriend and invites Ted to an out of town wedding. Unfortunately, she's on the hook with the boyfriend (who's in a band!) and Ted is finally able to break the cycle and get off the hook. Nice to see the focus swing back to Ted for an episode, plus we got some funny running sight gags and Teenage Marshall at the end. Speaking of Marshall, his endorsement of Scooter's torch for Lily was funny ("I won't live that long") too. Good episode. Good times.

Oh yes, and the teacup pig.

And now for Lost:


Previously on Lost: Sayid died and came back. Dogan checked him for infection (note, this is what health care will be like under the Republican plan). Dogan tries to get Jack to slip the red pill to Sayid.

And we start with Alterna-Sayid getting out of a cab and showing up the doorstep of his ladyfriend, Nadia. Ooooh, Nadia is married with children. To his brother! Translating oil contracts...boring. Sayid's brother has business...jerk business. Oooh, tag! Picture of Nadia in Sayid's bag? Hopefully he hasn't been going steady with it.

-Temple Sayid busts in on Dogan and demands answers! Get off my plane! Sayid's scale is tipped the wrong way! Like on Celebrity Fit Club! Man, Dogan is one cold motherfucker. He's Asian Shaft. As I'm typing that, he gets all Jet Li on Sayid. Woot, fight fight fight fight! Sayid tumbles over stuff like he's in a 60s Batman fight. Stick fight! Baseball rolls off the table! Dogan...stops? He tells Sayid to GTFO and then holds the baseball like it's his baby.

Claire and Not-Locke! At the Temple! Shit's going down! And title.

Alterna-Sayid gets woken up by his brother after the commercial (or in my case, Texas election results) because he owes money to a loan shark. Ooh, he wants Sayid to do some...Sayid stuff to the guys. Like an episode of Spencer: For Hire!

Sayid and Miles (woot, Miles!) chat over by the salad bar, mostly about Sayid's two hours in Valhalla. Now, here comes Claire with a message for Dogan...who apparently doesn't get to be mysterious Japanese speaker anymore. Claire wants to set up a meeting with Dogan and Not-Locke. Nope, never mind. He's back to Japanese. He orders Claire to go in "the hole".



Dogan takes Sayid back into his office and pulls a mystery box out of some plants. That's where I hide my porn. Not in plants, in Dogan's box. If you look closely, you can see it under the dagger. Dogan tells Sayid to go stabbity on Locke when he sees him next, in order to prove that he's still got some good in his soul. Maybe they can dig up Nikki and Paulo and stab them too. That'd be awesome.

Sayid bonds with his niece and nephew while walking to school. Aww, mommy likes it when Sayid is there. Uh oh...Omar got f'ed up. Sayid goes into badass mode, but Nadia's trying to talk him down.

Now Sayid bumps into Kate. Seriously, how small is this place? Or is it so deserted that you can hear another Lostie from a mile away? Where did Miles find playing cards? Are they Dharma cards? Kate finds out from Miles that Claire is back. And still hot. I agree, crazy chicks have a certain aura of hotness. Like touching a hot plate, but with boobs. Sayid stops for a tasty beverage and then...here comes Smokey! And Sayid stabs him! Holy crapballs! And Not-Locke just pulls it out. Wow.

After the break, Locke gives Sayid the knife back, Because He Is Just That Badass. Not-Locke claims that Dogan set Sayid up by having try to stab Not-Locke. Valid point. Valid and EVIL. Ooh, looks like Dogan sent Sayid out as a messenger. And Not-Locke promises Sayid can have anything he wants in the world.

And then Sayid is gluing a pot/vase back together. Damn boomerangs, ruin everything. Oooh, Sayid pushed Nadia towards Omar. Not good! Sayid doesn't think he's worthy of Nadia because of how much torturing he did, back in the day.

Back to the future (that'd make a good movie title), Sayid returns to the Temple. He delivers Not-Locke's message: Jacob is dead, they don't have to stay at the Temple anymore, and he's leaving and taking anyone who wants to leave with him. Oh, and everybody still at the Temple dies at sundown.

Kate strongarms Julian Lennon and goes to visit Claire, who is singing in the hole in a very crazy way. Kate admits to having Aaron...oooh, that's not gonna end well. Yeah, Claire gives Kate the stink eye. The Temple Others drag Kate away, and Claire yells after her "He's coming". And commercial.

And now the Temple peeps are packing up and heading out. No Jacob, no safety, apparently. Sayid goes to return the dagger to Dogan...

...and some strange guy comes up to Alterna-Sayid and picks him up...and threatens the kids, IN ARABIC!! They take him to a kitchen with a lot of random knives scattered around. I don't think that is sanitary. Oh hey, young Christopher Walken is offering him eggs. A lot. Breakfast is the most important meal of the...afternoon? The loan shark has a nice chat with Sayid about money, and danger, and possibly more eggs. And now Sayid goes all Jack Bauer and offs two henchmen in less than the time it took me to type this. And then he shoots the loan shark, because he is Sayid, and he is badass. From the back, a muffled thumping...and it's Jin! Non-English Speaking Jin!

Now back to Dogan, who is contemplating things by the old Resurrection Hole. Sayid returns the dagger and asks why Dogan keeps trying to have other people kill him. Dogan used to be a businessman in Osaka? I keep forgetting that these people weren't just born here...well, except maybe Ben. Dogan did a little salaryman drunk driving, picked up his son, and got in a wreck.. Well, that's bad. Dogan traded his son's life for having to come to the island, work for him, and never see his son again. Jacob drives a hard bargain...and racks up the frequent flyer miles. Sayid grabs Dogan and they go into the pool! Marco! Polo! Drowning! Ahh, that explains the baseball. Oh snap, and Sayid goes all throat-slice on Lennon too! And here comes Smokey! And here's the Shadow of the Statue folks! Man, everyone's here!

Kate goes to rescue Claire, who doesn't want to go. Kate hops into the hole with Claire while Smoke Monster goes overhead. And here's Ben! I missed you, Ben. Man, Sayid is creepy now. Miles casually mentions to Sun that Jin is still alive. Just missed each other...awww.

What's her name finds the secret passage and they all get inside before Smokey comes after them (by all, I mean Sun, Miles, her, and Lapidas). Kate and Claire tour the wreckage inside the Temple, and Kate immediately goes for a gun. Sayid, Claire, and Not-Locke all give each other creepy looks, then Not-Locke leads a procession of people, Sayid, Claire, and Kate off into the jungle.

And that's it. Ben episode next week, which pleases me greatly. Not-Locke is building a little Legion of Doom now, and shit is getting serious. See you all next week!

Lost in a House

I know, it was lame. However, most shows appear to be in reruns this week, rather than go up head to head against the juggernaut of the Winter Olympiad. However, I was able to scrape together a couple of viewings; tonight's Lost, and last week's House.

I'll start with House, as it was a departure from the norm. Just as we had "Wilson" from the perspective of House's only friend, tonight brings us "5 to 9", the length of Cuddy's day. Cuddy is an odd character, written as one note some weeks, and depthy in others. Sometimes her and House look like an item, sometimes she's just the mean old boss lady standing in the way of him and awesome doctoring. This episode loaded her plate up with many many obstacles, the biggest of which was whether or not to terminate their contract with the insurance company who handles most of their business. Cuddy stuck to her guns, was about to resign for screwing up, but then the insurance company blinked and gave in to her demands. Honestly, this felt like a huge copout, having her on the way to giving up before the situation resolves itself. Would have expected something more proactive from her, but this almost felt like a lucky break just landed in her lap. Some of the other bits were amusing: Using a hidden microphone to trick the meth-stealing pharmacy tech (and what a bitch!) into digging her own grave, playing hardball with Thumb Guy, all while dealing with House's usual antics. The episode did do one thing well: make us realize why the show is called "House" and not "Cuddy". They tried to pack way too much in, and while it worked to show us what Cuddy goes through to have her life and her job, it didn't make for a great hour of television.

Lost, on the other hand, was a lot better, although still moving at a mellow pace. Tonight was the Locke episode, and we get to see the ramifications of his pre-815 actions in this no-crash timeline. He comes back bitter (although still with Helen), gets fired for using company money to take his walkabout, runs into Hurley (who just bought the company...and a temp agency (where Rose works!)...and of course, Mr Cluck's), and has the worst luck with his van. Locke, on the island, was always the believer (as Ben pointed out in his eulogy). However, off the island, he is the cynic. There are no miracles in Locke's non-island world, which may be the greatest tragedy of the alternate timeline. At the end though, he gets a job substitute teaching, where he runs into Ben, of all people, who is also teaching. So, is this destiny that all of these people are fated to meet? Or just amazing coincidence?

Meanwhile, back on the island, Not-Locke and Sawyer go on a walkabout of their own. A boy who looks an awful lot like Jacob pops up a couple of times, telling Not-Locke that he "isn't allowed to kill them". The game is still running? They make their way down the World's Most Rickety Ladder (where Not-Locke saves Sawyer's life, probably) into a spooky cave which holds a balanced scale with one white and one black rock on it. Not-Locke takes the white rock off the scale and whips it into the ocean ( "Private joke", he explains), then leads Sawyer into the real part of the cave; a room with many names chalked onto the walks and ceiling. These are the "candidates", people who have the potential to take over for Jacob as protector of the island. They are Jack, Sawyer, Hurley, Jin or Sun, Locke (who gets crossed off on account of death), and Sayid. Even better, the names are all numbered, and if you really need me to tell you the numbers of the six names remaining, then you obviously have never watched this show. The episode ends with Not-Locke offering Sawyer the chance for the two of them to leave the island, to which Sawyer responds with an emphatic "Hell yes". And scene.

Well, if you wanted to know what the numbers were, now you know. Big question, interesting answer. Obviously Not-Locke isn't telling the whole story, and Sawyer obviously won't be taken in by the lies. Where do we go from here? Seven days, and we'll find out. Leverage season finale tomorrow!

Babies and Poison!

Well, that's all I got out of tonight's LOST anyway. Don't get me wrong, I'm not turning on the show or anything, but after last week's two hours of OMG'ing all over the place, this episode fell a little flat. Not terrible flat, just like going to work the day after your birthday. Everything was all exciting and crazy, now you have to settle in. And what better to settle in with than a Kate episode. Sigh...

Okay, I don't hate Kate, I swear. She's just not all that interesting to me, and so when the show focuses on her, my focus drifts elsewhere. It probably happened back in the early days, when Jack and Sawyer were the Archie and Reggie fighting over her freckly Veronica (of course, this means Juliet is Betty). So, we have three main storylines tonight: Alternate Universe Kate escaping from The Man, Island Kate escaping from The Others, and then The Mystery of the Resurrected Sayid.

First off, AU Kate. Still cuffed, she hijacks a taxi, terrifying the driver and the passenger...a very pregnant Claire. After the driver bails out at a red light, Kate takes over the wheel, then kicks Claire out (after demanding her purse...what a bitch) and drives to the local friendly auto shop owner, who of course doesn't mind taking Kate's handcuffs off with no questions asked. Kate goes through Claire's bag for a change of clothes (not stopping to realize that it'll be nothing but "Baby on Board" maternity stuff and Kajagoogoo t-shirts), but finds baby stuff instead (umm, Kate? You did see that huge belly on her, right? Did you think she was just coming from a hot dog eating contest?), feels bad, and goes back to where she kicked Claire out to give her stuff back and offer her a ride. Claire and Kate pull up at the house of the couple who was supposed to adopt Claire's baby, only to find out that the husband ran out on the wife (who wants to wager on the husband being an Other or Dharma guy or something like that?) and so the lady has to say thanks but no thanks to the little bundle of joy. Oh Claire, don't you know you're supposed to call "no backsies" when giving your baby up for adoption on the other side of the planet?

So Claire freaks out, which causes the baby to hit the eject button and start clawing his way to freedom (and a gig on an E-Trade ad, most likely). Kate, the Most Helpful Carjacker Ever, drives Claire to the hospital and hangs out with her while ETHAN ROM!!! does an ultrasound and offers to induce labor. Claire blurts out Aaron's name (which just "came to her"), and her and Kate have smiley lady bonding. And that's about it.

Meanwhile, back on the island, Sawyer gets his gun and checks out of Camp Other. Kate offers to go bring him back, but it's just her cunning plan to escape, thanks to one of Russo's traps, and the worst guards ever; one of which knows her from the first time she escaped from jail. Small world! She heads back to Dharmaville and sees Sawyer being all mopey about Juliet and the life he left behind. Meanwhile, Jin has gone looking for Sun, only he gets caught up to by the old guards. Just as he's about to get capped by one of them, the dude gets shot...by Island Claire! Welcome back, Island Claire!

Back at the Hidden Temple, Sayid gets dragged away by some Others to be "tested", which looks a lot like "tortured", 24-style. Jack busts in for some answers, and the guy in charge gives him some medicine to give to Sayid, to get rid of the "infection" that is supposedly inside of him, post-resurrection. Jack refuses, and asks what's in it. Not getting an answer, he swallows it, then gets it kung-fu chopped right back out of his esophagus because...IT'S POISON!!! Yep, apparently some dark mojo got all up inside Sayid, and will slowly take over his mind/body...just like it did to Jack's sister. Sister? Oh yeah, Claire. Island Claire. Who hangs out with Jack's dead dad. Yeah, shit just got real.

So where are we at? Kate's on the run, Claire's back on the show, Sayid may be turning evil, and Sawyer is sad. Nothing from Locke and the Shadow of the Statue gang this week, which will hopefully be rectified soon. It's a long season though, and we'll need patience to get through it. Answers, they are a'coming. See you back here for Leverage!

Oh Lost, How I Missed You So!

Yes, the long (and I do mean loooooooong) wait is over, and the final season of Lost is finally here. And a few months from now (on a Sunday), Lost will exit our lives forever. Well, or so they would have us believe. The series should be over anyway, which is bittersweet. It'll be nice to have all the questions answered, but I really will miss this show. The constant complaints about all the mysteries just bug me though...the whole point of a good mystery is the anticipation of the ending when the case is solved. That's what Lost is, a grand mystery set in four dimensions. Would the polar bear in the first episode have been as awesome if you knew that it just came from a cage on another part of the island? Lost, save for a few blips now and again, has rewarded the faithful viewer, and now comes their final gift to us.

And what a beginning. The bomb blows up, the screen goes white...and Jack's on a plane. Kate's there, Sawyer's there, the whole Lost crew...then the bomb blows up, the screen goes white, and Kate wakes up on the island. Trippy. My best theory (and oh, there will be theories) is that the bomb created some kind of parallel dimension where the Oceanic 6 & pals never crashed, in addition to their current reality. The two hour premiere skips back and forth between these two realities (or whatever, I'm calling them realities and it's my damn blog) showing "what is" and "what also is", for lack of a better term.

On the island, we've got Sayid still gutshot, Sawyer super pissed at Jack, Kate trying to keep some kind of peace, Jin...found a flashlight, and Hurley talks to the ghost of Jacob, who tells him how to save Sayid. Before that, they have to rescue Juliet who has inexplicably managed to survive all Baby Jessica-style at the bottom of the shaft. Juliet dies, sadly, and Sawyer makes Miles talk to her ghost, who just says "It worked".

Hey, maybe they just exist both in the past, and in the present. Maybe they meet the versions of themselves that have been in the 70's this whole time! Whoo! Theories! Remember kids, "what happened, happened".

Anyway, so they make it to the temple, where Hurley's guitar case contains...a big wooden ankh. That mysterious Chinese-talking dude snaps in twain to reveal a note inside. The note seems to establish the group's bona fides, and they go in to dunk Sayid in the magic life water (not to be confused with SoBe Life Water), only for it not to work. Sad day.

Okay, so in the "present", Jack gets called to the bathroom to help save an unconscious Charlie (whoo!!! Charlie!!!) who is choking on...wait for it...his Bag O' Heroin! The plane lands, Charlie's led off in cuffs, Locke has heart to heart chats with Boone (!) and later, Jack. Locke is still in the wheelchair, by the way. Kate escapes from custody, and the airline loses Jack's luggage...the big wooden one containing his dead dad. Not going too much into this part so far, mainly because I don't know what the hell it's leading to. Bold move for the premiere though.

Okay, so in the past, Locke has totally killed Jacob with the help of Ben. Richard is outside with the Shadow of the Statue gang, and a few of them come inside to see what's going on. They take a couple of shots at Locke who HOLY SHIT LOCKE IS THE SMOKE MONSTER!!!!!! One of the SotS'ers pulls out a bag of mystery sand and makes a circle out of it to keep the smoke monster out, but the smoke monster is JUST TOO SMART and knocks a big rock free and uses that to knock the dude out of his CoP:Black.

The temple people hear that Jacob is dead and freak right out. They barricade the doors and launch some fireworks, which Richard sees all the way over at the Foot. Jacob picks that time to exit and he goes all Chuck Norris on Richard, picking him up and dragging him off...passing right by the dirty dead body of John Locke.

Oh, and then Sayid comes back to life.

So, business as usual for Lost; answering 2 or 3 questions while creating a dozen more. Well, not that many. Still, now next week we've got revived Sayid, Kate on the run, Locke carrying Richard, Sawyer and Miles are wandering somewhere, and Jack looks for his dead dad. All this, and more next week on...Lost.